Chapter 15: 14

Heavy snow poured two days before returning to the main residence.

If the snow did not stop quickly, it seemed that the schedule for returning home would be disrupted.

Of course, it doesn’t matter if we’re a little late as I have nothing but a schedule to roll around. At least, it was like that until yesterday.

That is, the morning when Caesar and Hamilton break into the mansion, interrupting my rest.

“Listen, Princess. Even though I told His Highness that there will be an enthronement ceremony practice from noon, he showed up drenched in sweat after practicing swords all morning.”

In the mansion’s drawing room, Hamilton, whose blood pressure was raised, complained to me. Then Caesar, who was sitting next to Hamilton, grumbled.

“Who cares? It’s just practice anyway, it doesn’t matter if I’m sweaty.”

“It does matter! You have to try on clothes, so how could you appear sweaty?! Isn’t that right, Princess?”

Instead of answering, I just smiled and sipped my tea.

Why are you two here for something that does not concern me? Go back. Please, just go back.

‘How could Leonard not be here at a time like this?!’

Leonard is the only one out of the three of us who actually responds to Hamilton, who is talkative.

However, Leonard went to meet the commander of the knight again today. He seemed to have caught the attention of the leader on his last tour, and he was invited to his house.

‘Brother! Save me!’

I try my best to send telepathy.

“Anyway, I’m going to die of heartbreak because of His Highness. Princess, please say something.”

“Huh? No, why should I do that?”

“His Highness listens to you.”

No. I think you’re misunderstanding something. These days, I am also being swayed by that snarky bastard.

… Well. Suddenly, I have a strong sympathy toward Hamilton.

“Bad Caesar.”

“What?”

Caesar looked at me with a look of one who had just lost their only ally.

“Well, I don’t know what it is about, but Caesar must have been bad, obviously.”

“What nonsense is that?!”

“Ah, after all, Princess recognizes my hard work!”

Hamilton was so moved that he almost cried.

“You’ve worked hard, Viscount.”

“Ugh, don’t mention it. There are more than once or twice when I want to quit.”

“Did I stop you? If you want to quit, you can quit.”

“Look at this. He treats me like this. A few days ago, he left me and disappeared, and his lips were swollen from where he was hit…”

“Ahhhh, be quiet! Stop talking!”

“Don’t say it! Don’t mention that!”

To stop Hamilton from speaking, Caesar and I both jumped out of our seats at the same time.

Caesar’s body turned red like a carrot. I don’t know, but I’m probably like that too.

“Huh? What’s wrong with you two?”

Hamilton looked at both of us, who were visibly embarrassed, alternately.

“Oh, come to think of it, the Princess also has a wound on her lower lip…”

“Don’t say it!”

“Let’s talk about something else, please!”

I’m barely forgetting it, so don’t remind me of that day!

Hamilton’s eyes narrowed at the two of us reacting violently. He glanced at the two of us again and again, as if suspiciously.

“No way, you two…”

“No, we’re not.”

“No!”

“I haven’t said anything yet.”

Such a failure.

I overreacted because of embarrassment. At this rate, Hamilton would have noticed the ‘accident’ of that day.

‘If we get caught by this light-mouthed human being…!’

A lot of trouble is sure to follow! I hate that!

I tried to change the topic somehow.

“By the way, my lord. Aren’t you interested in books? Did you know that there’s a bible written by the Buddhist monks of Balon in this mansion?”

“What? A scribe from the Balon Monastery which is famous for its beautiful handwriting? No way, it must be very expensive!”

“Absolutely. If you are curious, I can show you for a moment.”

“Of course! It would be my honor!”

Hamilton jumped up from his seat in excitement.

I’m glad Hamilton is a simple man.

“Then come with me for a while…”

“Oh, I want to go too.”

When Hamilton and I got up from our seats, Caesar quickly got up as well as if he had been waiting.

I waved my hand at Caesar.

“No, only the Viscount and I will go.”

“What? Why can’t I?”

Caesar asked with a puzzled expression.

Ugh, that idiot. We’ve barely diverted Hamilton’s attention, what if the person whose lips hit mine follows along?

“Your Highness, it would be better to wait as the Princess said. If there are too many people who make a fuss, the expensive books will be damaged.”

Fortunately, Hamilton adamantly rejected Caesar. His head was already full of books, and he seemed to have forgotten about ‘lips’.

Caesar did not hide his dissatisfied expression, but in the end he flopped back on the sofa.

“Ah, fine. Do whatever you want.”

Oh, so you can be obedient too?

“Well then, shall we go?”

We left Caesar in the drawing room and left the room.

***

The ceremonial books were kept in a glass box sealed with wax.

Hamilton’s eyes, as he looked at the collection, seemed to be filled with stars. He seems to have fallen in love with the book.

I sat in a nearby chair and waited so as not to disturb Hamilton’s love.

But it got boring, and even though I knew it would disturb him, I hinted at Hamilton for a conversation.

“You must be busy preparing for the coronation ceremony. Will it be okay if you come out like this?”

Fortunately, Hamilton responded to my conversation without a sign of displeasure.

“Originally, no.”

“Aha, it seems that Caesar forced you again.”

“Actually, I came out today with the pretext of complaining to the Princess.”

“Pardon? Viscount has complaints?”

“His Highness couldn’t sleep the whole time and he was so tense, so I wanted to make him feel a little more comfortable.”

Hamilton smiled back at me who was puzzled.

“Do you know why the coronation party was held before the coronation ceremony and not after it?”

“I heard it was to celebrate his birthday as well.”

“Externally, yes.”

“Then internally?”

“He was trying to get rid of it quickly… would be the correct expression.”

He hastened the coronation ceremony. As a result, the coronation ceremony was held in winter, not on New Year’s. In order to finalize the schedule for the ceremony, the party was held first.

Why did he have to be in such a hurry?

“The 1st Consort will soon be crowned empress.”

Hamilton glanced to the side, as if he could hear my inner thoughts.

When the 1st Consort becomes empress, the power of the Valer family will become stronger.

Then, of course, they would try to place the young son of the empress, not Caesar, as heir.

‘After coming to the capital, Father said he is going to be busy, so I guess…’

I had wondered what kind of business a person who took a step back from politics and did not enjoy social gatherings could possibly have that it was hard to see his face.

I see. Did Peresca decide to stand on the side of Crown Prince Caesar to deal with Valer in earnest?

“The Duchy is so far from the capital, it’s hard to hear such news.”

“If Princess wants, I can serve as your informant.”

“Are you talking about me, not my father or brother?”

The joke was so ridiculous that I laughed in vain. Hamilton just shrugged.

I thought maybe this man might be the only one who doesn’t treat me as a minor.

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“Why are you telling me that?”

I smiled and tilted my head.

Hamilton let out a ‘hmm’ as if looking for an answer, and laughed bitterly.

“Just consider it as today’s reward for showing me your precious book.”

Such a heavy and burdensome reward.

I could’ve pretended I didn’t understand, but it’s a pity that now Caesar has become a person whom I can’t pretend not to know.

***

Hamilton asked for the butler and I returned to the drawing room.

“Oh, right, I should’ve asked about young Brande.”

It was only when I got to the drawing room that I suddenly thought of that. But if I go back, I’ll end up with more troublesome work, so let’s stop.

The first thing to do is to deal with Caesar, who is now left alone and must be angry.

…or so I thought.

“…Are you sleeping?”

Caesar was lying on the sofa and sleeping. What’s with this guy?

“…Seriously, didn’t he say he couldn’t sleep the whole time?”

I sat down on the floor, leaning my head on Caesar’s bedside. Caesar’s breathing was low and regular.

I gently touched his hair so he wouldn’t wake up.

“Don’t you have anywhere else to sleep except at my house?”

A life where you can fall asleep only when you come to this small annex, even though you live in the largest and most colorful place in this empire.

I told him to become emperor.

I offered to make him emperor.

Perhaps I have cast a curse that is too great and terrifying on him. My heart is pounding at this regret.

“If something happens, tell me. Don’t hold it alone and laugh as if nothing happened. Didn’t I tell you it’s okay to act like a baby?”

Of course, it’s not that I don’t know his mind.

He wouldn’t want to tell me and Leonard about that.

But I want him to think about the guilt we will feel when we find out too late.

“Ugh…”

Did my whispers bother him? Caesar mumbled in a hoarse voice and muttered.

“Helena? When did you come?”

Caesar raised his upper body and sat down and asked me.

“Hmm, just now?”

I just laughed. He’d never hear anything from Hamilton anyway.

“Oh, so I fell asleep. Why didn’t you wake me up?”

“I just tried to scribble on Caesar’s face and failed.”

“Ugh, I can’t even sleep in front of you.”

“No, I’m joking. I won’t do that.”

I said earnestly.

“You can sleep comfortably in front of me. I won’t doodle.”

“Why is that?”

Caesar grinned.

We looked into each other’s eyes without a word for a long time from a short distance away.

His red eyes reflected my face. Those eyes that I once thought of as a bad impression’.

“…It hurts, it doesn’t heal.”

After a while, Caesar muttered as he ran his thumb across my lips.

“Ouch.”

“Does it hurt?”

“Of course it hurts.”

I frowned slightly and spoke as if complaining. Caesar laughed quietly, perhaps unfamiliar with my whining.

The room was very quiet.

His eyes fixed on my lips, too. He stared for a long time as his long eyelashes quivered.

The silence is too much to the point where the sound of the heart is loud.

His breathing touched the skin.

And.

And.

…Mm?

“…Uh?”

Our lips touched.

His lips touched lightly before leaving. It was such a short moment that it was hard to tell if it was a mistake or intentional.

Even after our lips parted, we just looked at each other, bewildered by what had just happened.

‘Uh? Something went by so naturally right now.’

Should I ask “what did you do”?

However, I think the time to ask has passed.

This is it, right? First kiss that happens because the participants get swept away by the atmosphere and they end up getting dazed without realizing it…something like that?

However, as if not to accidentally make this a brief impulse, Caesar gently wrapped the back of my neck.

His fingertips were cold in the winter temperature, and I trembled lightly.

“Can I kiss you?”

Caesar whispered to me in a faint voice.

“You should’ve asked before you started.”

At my retort, Caesar pulled me closer to him.

“You can do it again.”

Caesar’s tickling breath seeped through my body again. This time, I grabbed his collar as tightly as I could.

My mind was as colorful and dizzy as a kaleidoscope.

‘Is it okay to do this with my student?’

A strange sense of immorality enveloped my body.

On the other hand, the constant excuses persuade me. First kiss is like that. It’s about being swept away by the atmosphere. When you don’t know the world, you try it out of curiosity.

First kiss you can do with anyone as long as you have a shallow liking.

It’s not a big deal, obviously.

To him.

And to me, too.

Before long, my head turned white, and I couldn’t hear anything except the sound of snow falling.

‘Snow, I hope you don’t stop.’

I hope for something after a long time.

I hope the snow continues.

Incessantly, enough to cover time.

***

That night, the snow stopped.

Leonard and I were able to leave the capital as scheduled. On the day we left the capital, Hamilton and Rowena came to see us off.

Caesar did not come.

Inside the rattling carriage.

Leonard, who was sitting across from me, asked while I was staring blankly at the white scenery through the window.

“You miss them, don’t you?”

[T/N: Them here because of the lack of subject in Korean language. He’s basically only saying “You miss [subject], don’t you?” I added “them” as to make the gender ambiguous, because it is obvious she is thinking about Caesar, but Leonard only say Agoth next]

“Huh?”

Unknowingly, the voice that answered was distorted. Leonard laughed bitterly as if my startled reaction was unexpected.

“I’m talking about Agoth.”

“Ah… Oh yeah. That’s right.”

Agoth could not come to the capital with us because she did not obtain permission from the head maid.

The day we left the main house, I remembered her holding her collar and holding back tears.

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“I really miss them.”

I miss you.

“Haha, that’s weird. I really miss them.”

[T/N: Same reason as above. She is clearly addressing Caesar, but wants Leonard to think she’s talking about Agoth. So I used “them” for speech and “you” for inner voice. Sorry it’s somewhat confusing.]

Casting my gaze out the window again, I mumbled those words without a target over and over again.

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