Chapter 40: -08- Restless Night

~~** Tachibana Mayuri’s Point of View **~~

“That’s… quite a story.”  Nene-san said as I wrapped up all the events which had happened to me starting with Daigo’s affair, and leading to discovering Chigusa’s pregnancy.

“It is.”

“But I can understand your position.  At first you wanted to make sure your daughter’s happiness was met before your own, and now you are uncertain if you don’t deserve it for yourself after all.  More so since that you’ve discovered that not only is she pregnant, she also still has feelings for him…”

We saluted each other with our beers.

Both of us were definitely buzzed, and talking a bit louder than we should have been.

“Well you deserve him, and I had better not find out you’ve broken his heart or done something monumentally stupid like passing him over to her unchallened, or I’ll come and snatch him up for myself.”

“Ufufufu~  I’d like ta’ see ya’ try… unlike yours, my ring fits!”

I held up my hand to show off the 1.2million yen ring my husband bought for me.

She eyed it carefully before reaching into her shirt and pulling something out.  It was a plain gold ring with a small white gem on it.

“It fits, just not my finger.  I’ve never forgotten about it, and never will.”

We locked eyes, before I yelled at her.

“Ya’ threatening my marriage?”

“Just letting you know what happens if you break his heart.  I’ll do to you what you did to your daughter!  My daughter already has a boyfriend, so there won’t be any interference in our relationship!”

While we began to slander each other merrily, Shota returned with my daughter clinging on to him.

“Hey!  Shota!  If I… hic…  break your heart, will ya’ go back ta’ your ex-wife!?  You won’t, right?  I let ya’ have my daughter along with me… aren’t I the greatest wife?”

Shota just stared in our direction and groaned.

“Nene-san… I thought I told you to not say anything unnecessary!” He complained aloud.

“Shoooo-kun~  You’d be fine leaving these two for Kumi and I, wouldn’t you?  She has a boyfriend, but if I’m not enough for you, I can tell her to dump him if you want her too!”

It was fun, finally passing the point of being buzzed into being drunk to watch Shota deal with my selfish side.  I do think she would be a fun addition to my drinking parties with Kanna-chan.

~~**  Tachibana Shota **~~

The smell of nabe was superior to the smell of alcohol until I got into the kitchen.  I left Chigusa on the couch as I confronted those two drunks.

My dark history with Nene-san is something I’d hoped was long forgotten.  But she’s a bit loose in the mouth when alcohol is involved.  I remember her getting drunk on occasion downstairs with mom.  

I noticed something dangling from Nene-san’s neck however, and reached out for it unintentionally.

“You kept it?”

“Damn right I did!  The only man who ever loved me properly, how could I part with it?”

Nene-san was drunk for sure, and so was Mayuri-san.

“How many beers did you two go through?”

“What’s it to ya’?  We only went through… a lot!” Mayuri-san giggled. “She’s a good woman Shota-kun!”

“You are both good women, but also terrible drunks.   Mayuri-san, is the nabe okay?”

“HM?  Nabe?  Ahhh!”

Mayuri-san jolted up from her chair and took a few wobbly steps over to the pot she left boiling on the stove.

“Yeah, it’s fine!  I left it on simmer just in case somethin’ like this happened, ufufufu~  Just give me a second an’ I’ll take care of…”

“No.  Sit down.  I’ll take care of it.”

I took my wife by the arm and moved her back to her seat.  I found some potholders and turned the stovetop off, moving it over to the table, and then gathering plates and bowls.

“Mayuri-san… where’s the rice?”

“I knew I… hic… forgot somethin’!  Hmm… check th’ fridge, there’s a plastic container with rice in it, ya’ can just heat it up.  There should be plenty inside of it.”

I followed her instructions, and shortly after, we were set up for dinner.  I went to fetch Chigusa from the couch and brought her over to the table.  I helped her into her seat and then took the last available one opposite her.  Nene-san was in my usual seat.

“ “Itadakimasu~” ”

We dug in, the three hungry women here going right for the meat first.

It felt odd.  My auntie who I once treated as a wife, my ex-girlfriend, and my current wife all sitting down at eating with me.  This felt like it could be an explosive situation, yet it was anything but.

“Did you tell her what you needed to tell her, Shota?”

No surprise Nene-san was goading me into talking about Chigusa’s pregnancy.

“Yeah.  We… talked.”

“Annnnnnnnd?  Curious minds want to know!”

Nene-san pressed the matter, and Mayuri-san was also attentive to what my answer was.

I straightened myself up.

“If it’s what she really wants, and she’s dead set on it… then she should have it.  But only after she completely understands what that means!  You can’t undo that choice.”

“What a grown up answer!”  Nene-san interjected.

The person most happy at the table wasn’t Chigusa, but my wife.  The cabbage bombs seemed to be getting to her for once… because Mayuri-san was leaking from her eyes like the rest of us.

When dinner had wrapped up, Chigusa said she’d take care of the dishes.  I helped Mayuri-san upstairs and deposited her in our bed to sleep her inebriation off.  I also helped Nene-san up, but she said she couldn’t take Chigusa’s room, so she opted for the couch.  I brought a pillow and blanket out for her, and made a phone call on her phone to her partner, letting her know what happened.

She wasn’t thrilled, but she understood a bit better when I explained what happened.

That left Chigusa and I…

“Shota… shall we take a bath together?”

I knew I shouldn’t, but I did.  Because I was still coming to terms with it.

I wanted… a little more time to feel it.

The child inside of her.

Our daughter.

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I wanted to properly understand the reality of my decision.

With the two lushes out for the count, the kitchen cleaned, and us both exhausted from today, we hopped into the bathroom and soaked in the tub.  I held Chigusa from behind, and my hands wrapped themselves around the lower part of her stomach.

“I’m happy you didn’t ask me to get rid of her.”

“I never had any intention of doing so.  It’s just not an easy thing to accept all at once.  I thought maybe in a couple of years I might feel the desire to… and even then…”

“Do… you want to have one with mom?”

I found my lips on her shoulder as I thought about it.

“If Mayuri-san is still with me then and able to… if she also wants to have one… then I would love to.”

“And if she doesn’t, would you be willing to have another with me?”

Chigusa took one of my hands in my silent contemplation which I thought would be no, but couldn’t find the voice to say so, and began to use my fingers to rub the sensitive place between her legs.

“What are you doing?” I asked her suspiciously.

“I’m doing you a favor.  Supposedly if I orgasm, it can make the baby want to move.  Maybe... it’ll say hello to papa for making mama happy.”

It was a ludicrous excuse, and yet I found myself doing just that.

In the bathtub, with the water slowly going from hot to warm, I used my fingers to masturbate my ex-girlfriend who gave her body over to me.  I brought her to climax after many minutes, and my hand was returned to her stomach, where I could have sworn… I felt something.

Chigusa turned around and sat on me, wrapping her legs around my waist and we kissed.  I knew I was in the wrong here.  I knew it and I knew... I had to stop it.

But Chigusa didn’t do more.  She didn’t attempt to do another thing to me other than a kiss, and for that… It could be forgiven.  We exited the bath, dressed and I returned to my room, to be with my wife.

Mayuri-san was non-responsive, and so I lay there for an hour or so with a huge problem that I wanted to deal with.

I decided to go back to the bathroom, and saw Chigusa’s door was open.

“Chigusa?”

“You couldn’t sleep either?”

I shook my head.

“Want to keep me company?”

She was in bed and pulled the covers aside.

I knew better.

I knew way better than to fall for it.

But the door closed behind me by my own hand, and I was soon in her bed.  A bed that I once shared with Nene-san and her daughter, Kumi-chan.

Chigusa was in my arms now and I was unable to hide my anxiety.  She didn’t put any pressure on me, only saying she felt happy that I would spend a little time with her.

She didn’t try to capitalize on her pregnancy to make me do something against my will.  This was all my own doing.  She was safe in my arms.  Only here could I protect her from what she worried about.  All the problematic relationships from the outside world.

I held her tightly and drifted off to sleep, the scent of sweet smelling soap and shampoo from the earlier bath relaxing my defenses.

In my dream, things were not good.

~~

I was much older now.  

Mayuri-san and I had no children of our own.  We were happy to raise Chigusa’s child though, and we did so on many occasions.  Occasions that let Chigusa go out into the world and try to find a good man.  Occasions that led to disastrous results for her.

She came back, sometimes late on the day she went out, sometimes a day or two later.  But she always came back, and always heartbroken and in tears.

And because I was married to Mayuri-san, I couldn’t… do anything for her.  Not even when she reported that… her contraceptive failed, and she didn’t know which time… or which person it was with.

~~

I woke up a sweaty mess, but Chigusa was still safely in my arms.

None of it had happened.

But it didn’t change the sour taste of bile in my mouth.

I escaped from her bed, the both of us fully clothed, so no guilt was accrued from any impropriety on either of our parts.  I was just there as a father to keep the mother of my child warm.

That was all.

I wandered into my room, only to find my wife missing from our bed.  I headed downstairs only to catch a whiff of cigarette smoke coming from the kitchen.  From the staircase I could see the couch was also devoid of it’s temporary resident.  I got a little closer and overheard a conversation.

“So, you’re fine with him being in her room right now?”

“For tonight, I won’t be jealous.  Chigusa… needs to know he’s there for her.”

“For tonight only?  If he wants to be a part of that child’s growth, it might not only be tonight, and he might not remain fully clothed next time, either."

“That might be the case… won’t it?”

“Are you really alright?”

“I’m… fine.  This is just the first time… he hadn’t come back to our bed.  I’ve said to him countless times that I trust him, and I do…”

“However…?”

“I don’t want to lose to my own daughter anymore.  Because I already know those two were made for each other… and I… want to be loved by him after all.”

I felt like the ceiling of my house collapsed inwardly and crushed my heart.  I wasn’t feeling any guilt for what I had done in the bathroom with Chigusa, it was what I had said to her before and what I had done to Mayuri-san now.

Even if I made love to Chigusa, I wanted to be in Mayuri-san’s arms apologizing for it at the end of the night.

And here it was, late at night, or early in the morning depending on how one views time.  The loves of my life talking to each other about my indiscretion.  Chigusa was carrying my child, but Mayuri-san… carried my heart.

I quietly returned upstairs, chiding myself silently for my bad habit and entered my room.  The bed was already cool, and I worried that she might think my love for her was doing the same.

“I’ve fucked up… but what can I even do… how do I make the both of them happy?”

It was an impossible answer that was beyond my grasp.

How can I give two women stable love… without betraying them both?

Was there even a right answer to this question at all?

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