Chapter 21: Chapter 20

At first it was believed that the Mah'Kur were simply an advanced civilization that had been overlooked, but as time went on, there were a few who believed evidence pointed toward an otherworldly origin. A small fringe group, however, indicated that they could be visitors from another reality. This theory, however, never held water as it is easy to convince people of life on other planets but not other realities.

-On the Mah'Kur Page 181 Paragraph 18

 

“So, what have we learned?” Jen asked me.

“That I don’t heal very quickly?” I offered with a subdued smiled as I wheeled alongside her. She gave my wheelchair a half hearted kick and I giggled in response. She shook her head and looked out across the courtyard. I followed her gaze to a group of wooden picnic tables situated beneath a small tree, shading a pair of picnickers. A man and a woman, both of whom looked to be nobility. Around us, on the walkway, people passed by, seemingly uninterested in us as we chugged along. I was glad to be outside in the open air, rather than stuck in the bunk as I had been for the past three days. Sheena had finally given Jen leave to return to her duties so long as I promised to use the wheelchair to get around. Jen hefted the book in her hand, and then flipped the page, reading a passage aloud to herself before stepping off the sidewalk and taking a seat on a concreted bench. I wheeled over and sat in front of her, feeling awkward as I stuck out like a sore thumb. I had traded my servant gray for a simple black dress with a floral skirt, devoid of a slip or petticoat so as to fit better in the chair. 

“It’s…a lot,” I said to Jen. “She doesn’t own me, but this book says I must act like she does. I have so few choices; I don’t understand, Jen.”

“This the way Klocby works,” She told me, looking up from the book. “Tis also the way nearly every other civilized nation works.”

“And if I were a boy, with an older brother, would it work in this way as well?”

“No,” She said. “But know that we women hold ourselves to a far higher standard.”

“Such a high standard that we must be enslaved by our older sisters?”

Jen smirked and shook her head. Birds chirped overhead as she studied me, trying to think of the best way to approach the subject.

“You mustn’t think of it as that,” Jen flipped another page and then leaned forward, biting her lip and then fluttering her eyelashes. “At the Summit, do you understand what the High Lady intended to do with you?”

“I took it to mean she planned to expose me in front of my father,” I responded, nodding thoughtfully even as I tried desperately to remember anything of my father, other than the brief glance I’d gotten of him at the summit. It was getting harder.

“Aye, that she did,” Jen confirmed. “and how do you suppose that would have left you?”

“I don’t know,” I admitted nervously; I didn’t want to admit the truth of the matter.

“Supposing he hadn’t demanded your return-”

“Could he have done that, in any case, Jen?” I asked curiously, shaking my head. “Was I not serving a sentence?”

“Aye, Lyra,” She assured me. “You’re here at his will because he hates you; the Lady would surely not have resisted his taking of you. How would he have done in the matter?”

“I…” suddenly I was at a loss for words, I didn’t want to say it.

“Aye, the man might’ve had you killed, or tortured at the very least. All a ploy from the High Lady to discredit him in front of the other nobility. She mayhap have turned it into a big show, perhaps sayin’ all manner o’ nice things about you, and sayin’ that your father had shown his evil nature. ‘Twould a’ been downright nasty business, y’see?”

I nodded.

“Let me ask ye then, why did Sheena save you? Why’d she pull you out of line and force the lady to spare you?”

“I don’t know,” I said softly; the truth of the situation was beginning to sink in. 

“I can see it in your face now,” She smiled and nodded. “She’d known you for what, perhaps three weeks? A bit more? So then, she saw you out there, flittering in the wind, ready to blow away, and she made a decision there, in that moment, to save you. She gave you the Rossi name, even though she knew well it could get her disinherited. All she had to do was sit back and stay quiet, she coulda just forgot about you, whether your father took you, or you simple stayed here and wallowed in your shame. She had nothing to gain, why do you suppose she stepped in and saved you?”

“I don’t know,” I said truthfully. If there had been any underlying humor about the situation it had vacated as Jen closed the book and gave me an understanding smile. She reached over and laid a soft hand atop mine; I shuddered a bit at the contact. 

“If she saw somethin’ in you worth saving, Lyra, don’t you think you ought to at least try to live up to her expectations? She has no desire to control you, Lyra, she wants you to turn up to be the best person you can be. Lyra, don’t be lookin’ at it as a burden, or as you’re being controlled. Look at your older sister as someone who loves you, and be proud that you’re important enough for her to spend her time on. She does care, even if she don’t act like it sometimes.”

There wasn’t much more to say, and truth be told I was feeling raw from the interaction. Jen patted my leg and set the book in my lap.

“I best be off,” She said. “Mind you get back to your bunk without me?”

“I will,” I promised. She gave me a quick smile and trotted off toward her duties, leaving me to think long and hard about what had been said. I wanted to be proud that she’d chosen me. Yes, I could do that. Could I really let her control me? Did she truly have my best interest at heart? I didn’t know that for sure. I wanted, no needed to believe it, because without her, I was all alone here. Even Jen didn’t come close to the types of interactions Sheena and I had. I needed her.

I kept that in mind as I gripped the metal wheels of the chair and pushed myself along the walk. It annoyed me just how much this stupid thing restricted me; I was in disbelief at how much of my daily life I’d spend on stairs, going off the beaten path, and of course, running. I was a more active person that I’d realized and this chair was turning everyday life in to a slog. I wanted to try getting up, maybe at least try putting weight on the ankle but if Sheena found out, and she would, she would probably start off by murdering me and then the real pain would come. Instead, I pushed the chair toward the scribery. The trip through the hallways was uneventful apart from a growing pain in my wrists and increasing fatigue as I tried to acclimate myself to using those muscle groups. I had to stop a few times, breathing heavily in my chair as my body collapsed under the strain of trying to move the chair. Finally, though, I made it to the scribery.

“You’re late,” Keniel said as I managed to cross the threshold.

“Wheelchair,” I said breathlessly. 

“I’m a busy man,” Keniel said, barely looking up from his desk. “If your personal life takes precedent then-”

“Of course it does” I snapped. “I’ve been here twice, and I have to keep that fact hidden, how should you like me to handle it?”

I wheeled my chair up to a desk that had been set aside for me. Keniel rolled his eyes and dropped a stack of parchment in front of me.

“Write what you remember of the Letragraph,” He instructed. “And then we will see where we go from there.”

It took a few moments, but I managed to scrawl a good portion of the forty symbols in all four types. As I finished, he took the paper and inspected it.

“Here,” He pointed to the symbol for Oi’od. “You failed to put the emphasis line here.”

“This is the second form,” I argued. “Only the third and fourth need emphasis. 

“Think of how it is spoken,” He told me. “The emphasis line is implied in speech as well as in writing, even if it does not have one by default, it should still have one in practice.”

“So you are saying it shouldn’t have one?”

“I am saying that you should embrace colloquialism if you wish to be an effective writer,” He snapped and set the paper back down. “Again.”

I wrote the Letragraph again, and one more time after that before Keniel taught me to write out a few basic words. He explained quickly how they were combined in sentence form, and then, finally, after I felt my hand was going to fall off, he called the lesson to a close.

“You do learn fast,” He admitted. “But you really must learn to follow instructions. I cannot teach you if you are arguing with me at every turn. Particularly in a subject you know nothing about.”

I found myself wheeling down the hallway once again, this time, finally just giving up and slumping forward in the chair, sweating and out of breath.

“I can’t do it,” I said. “I just can’t.”

I need to find somewhere to be; the servant’s quarters perhaps, even though I couldn’t stomach the thought of spending another moment in that bunk. Still, my arms ached, my dress was drenched with sweat, and my ankle throbbed. Everything hurt, all at once, and there was little I could do about it. I just didn’t want to be anywhere, including here.

“Excuse me,” A new voice said from beside me. I wearily looked up to see a brunette woman with curly hair and an angular face stepping around my wheelchair. She was perhaps in her mid-thirties and wore a simple white-button down blouse along with a long brown skirt held up by a black belt. Under her arm she held a leather binder pressed close to her body. “Is your name Lyra perchance?”

“You’re very good,” I nodded. She smiled.

“ Your sister said you had a good sense of humor,” She told me. “and you look as though you could use some help.”

“I’m sorry, who are you?” I asked, and she simply smiled, stepping around and taking control of my wheelchair.

“My name,” She said. “Is Gabrielle. And you, of course, are Lyra.”

“We established that,” I said drowsily as she pushed the chair through the hall. “Are you kidnapping me, then?”

“In a manner of speaking,” She laughed.

“My sister won’t be able to pay a ransom,” I told her. “her family cut her off.”

“Ah yes, I heard about that,” She said. “They tried to keep it all hush hush, but word gets around. I hear they keep hoping she’ll come around.”

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“I’m sure she will,” I said hopelessly. I leaned back in the chair, unsure of who Gabrielle was or where she was taking me, but then I asked myself if it mattered. Then again, what if she was an agent of my father’s and she was taking me to my death? Well, at least I wouldn’t have to scrub any more floors. Instead of taking me to a merciful death, however, she took me to the educational wing of the campus, which was normally far out of my range. 

“I don’t know if I’m supposed to be here,” I said apprehensively, craning and twisting my neck as we passed a variety of classrooms. The educational wing was part of the capital’s most prestigious university. I had come to understand that there were multiple schools and universities throughout Klocby proper, but the Highton University was considered to be the best. As such, it was integrated into the campus grounds, though it was miles away from the palace. Truthfully, I’d never been over here and now I was in awe of the classrooms and auditoriums that we passed. Throughout the halls, younger men and women, perhaps Sheena’s age bustled through the halls socializing with one another, bundles of colorful books in their arms. What would it be like to be one of them, I wondered? To be receiving a good eduction, and well on their way to an actual career? I could ask Sheena, probably; up until a few weeks ago she was probably considering attending university. What would she do now that I had ruined her future?

We passed into an atrium that simply took my breath away; it was an elongated glass dome supported by steel beams that must have extended for five stories. All around us, lush plant life grew from low lying brick planters that curved into a path, allowing us to navigate a cobblestone walkway with greenery on either side of us. The sound of running water, filled my ears as I noticed a bubbling stream culminating in a brief waterfall at the front of the path I stared at the water in absolute wonder and Gabrielle paused so I could take in the scenery. Trees grew on either side of us, accompanied by a swathe of colorful flowers, around which, wooden benches had been placed. A red-headed girl sat on one of them, a book in her hand as she stared at it, lost in thought. Two men walked past us, deep in philosophical debate as I sat there lost in the wonder of it all. 

“Beautiful, is it not?” Gabrielle said. I smiled in response as she continued pushing my chair down the path. “Have you eaten?”

“No,” I admitted. “I haven’t had anything today.”

It was true; I’d climbed out of bed into my chair, and I’d declined to visit the kitchens. Truthfully, I just hadn’t felt very hungry. 

“We must remedy that, then,” Gabrielle said. 

“I don’t know,” I shook my head. “This has been fun but my sister will be expecting me to-”

“Sheena will be arriving to retrieve you at the end of the day,” She said with some assurance in her voice. “She sent me to find you, after all.”

“To keep me out of trouble?” I said in a half hearted joking manner.

“In a manner of speaking,” She confirmed. She pushed my chair out of the garden and we came across an open area filled with round wooden tables. There were all manner of people seated, eating from coral colored plates, reading, talking, and contemplating. She wheeled my chair to one of the tables and as she sat down, a girl in servant gray dashed over.

“How may I serve you, my lady?” The girl asked. I tensed up; was she a lady?

“Girl, I am no lady,” Gabrielle laughed. “Now then, do bring my friend a bowl of rukon soup, heavy on the salt, please. I will have the house salad, if you don’t mind.”

“Water, lad…Miss?”

“That will do fine, girl,” Gabriele said. I shrank back in my chair, well aware that I while I wasn’t dressed in servant gray at the moment, I was just like her and had no business receiving service. My cheeks flushed as Gabrielle turned her attention to me.

“Down to business, while we wait,” She smiled. “At the behest of the High Lady, Sheena commissioned me to provide my services, I assume you recognize me?”

“I…don’t,” I said, embarrassed. “I apologize.”

“Well, that is quite refreshing!” She laughed. “Normally I am absolutely swamped with autograph seekers!”

“Are you like…a famous person then?” I frowned, suddenly even more embarrassed that I didn’t recognize her.

“That is what they say,” She admitted, chuckling a little. “My name is Gabrielle Marsh, and I am a singer.”

“A singer?” I said redundantly as the serving girl returned and placed the food down in front of us. I hesitated to touch the food.

“You should eat,” She waved to the bowl. “You will need your strength, after all.”

 “For what?”

“For what I will be teaching you today, of course, and every day after that.”

“You….are going to teach me to sing?” I frowned. “I don’t think I would be much good at that.”

“Now Lyra,” Gabrielle laughed as she took a bite of her salad. “You musn’t debase yourself in this matter, or any other manner. You could be good at a great any things, but singing isn’t our aim today. The girls seem to have done well with your cosmetics, your face looks…well to be honest, I would have had trouble picking you out today if it hadn’t been for the wheelchair and of course the voice, which is what we shall be working on!”

“My voice?” I looked at her, confused at first, but then it dawned on me completely. In the beginning my voice had been a source of discomfort to me, after all, I sounded like a man, and no matter how much face paint I wore, my voice would always give it way. Over time, however, when no one reacted my voice, I’d forgotten about it. Now it had been brought up again and my self-induced delusion was coming down. “Oh no…”

“Now now,” she folded her hands on the table and gave me a sympathetic look. “‘tis nothing that can’t be fixed! Finish your soup and we’ll get started!”

So I did. We talked throughout the meal, and eventually she wheeled me away from the table and to a lift that took us to the third floor of the university. We sat in a classroom that was highly organized with books stacked neatly on shelves throughout, and music scales meticulously scrawled on the chalkboard. She talked at length about the difference between vocal pitch and vocal weight, and then had me perform a few simple exercise to raise my pitch over time. She told me I was doing well, but I felt like I was just making awkward screeching noises. Finally, Sheena came by.

“How is my little sister doing?” She asked Gabrielle who gave her a delighted smile. 

“She is doing quite well,” Gabrielle confirmed. “Though we ought work on her self confidence.”

“That, has always been a problem,” Sheena folded her arms and looked at me almost expectantly. I blushed and sank back in my chair; she rubbed my shoulder and laughed. “I do hope you enjoyed it Lyra, because you will be back tomorrow, and each day after that.”

“But what about the Summit?” I asked Sheena. “I must prepare for that.”

“First of all, Lyra,” Sheena told me. “The summit has been pushed back two months to accommodate the Lord Regent’s schedule. Second, has Jen taught you nothing?”

“I apologize, Elder Sister, I didn’t mean to disappoint you,” I said, feeling shocked that as the words came from my mouth, I actually meant them. Sheena was caught slightly off guard as well, even though she didn’t say anything. Instead, she furrowed her brow at me and almost imperceptible cocked her head as if trying to determine whether or not I was speaking with sarcasm. Finally she turned to Gabrielle and thanked her for working with me. 

We made it back to the servant’s dining hall just in time to partake of the evening meal. While I originally sat at one of the tables with Jen or the other girls, Sheena now insisted that I sit at the smaller table with she, Kayla, and Elric, and it made me feel like I was on display. 

“You should sleep tonight,” Sheena told me, as if I had a choice. I poked at a boiled rukon egg, trying to work up more of an appetite as I waited for her to come with a follow-up sentence. “You have an appointment in the morning and you will attend.”

“Yes, Elder Sister,” I said quietly. She stared at me as I cut the egg in silence and forced a piece into my mouth.

Kayla bit her lip and looked down; Elric excused himself from the table, citing a need to be anywhere but there.

“What are you doing, Lyra?” She placed her hand on mine, forcing me to drop the fork. “Are you not going to ask me about the appointment? What it pertains to?”

I shrugged.

“Lyra.” She said, her single word heavy with implication. 

“You want me to go there,” I said. “So I’ll go.”

“Following all the rules isn’t like you,” She told me, her tone laced with genuine concern. “Is this a form of malicious compliance?”

“What do you mean?” I frowned.

“She means, are you following the rules to the letter just to upset her?” Kayla said helpfully.

“That,” Sheena nodded to her. “If you are, then knock it off.”

“I’m not,” I said, and I meant it, completely. I had no wish to subvert her or to disobey. She was my older sister, and the rules were there for a reason.

She shot a glance to Kayla, who stood and walked away from the table, leaving her tray behind. She turned to look at me, her eyes meeting mine, a soft but curious expression on her face. 

“You’re not Micah Lavoric,” She said plainly. It wasn’t a question, it was a statement; there was no doubt in her mind. “Who are you?”

“I’m Lyra,” I told her. 

“Yes, I suppose you are,” She sat back, resigned. “And who is Lyra?”

“I…I don’t know,” I admitted. “I just…I know I’m not him. I never was, I don’t think. I need you. Please help me.”

“I will.”

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