Chapter 1: The moment the universe paused.

The moment the universe paused.

 

This is a true story, I have changed the names, but if you were there, you will know who the players are.

 

A Bit of background, my grandfather was Bi/Gay with a beard, and Actor, Dancer, and Stage Director. I’m Trans and Bi (Technically Pan), My father was clueless Metrosexual and a Right-Wing Christian and Backhanded Bigot, basically a Passive Homophobe and Bigot who would compliment people who were minorities in service of the Het/Cis White community, if they lived the stereotype. Ie, no gay marriage, but things like “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” was one of his favorite TV shows. He also always maintained Black and Hispanic Friends if they were blue collar service industry types. While all his white friends were upper management types. He thought of himself as lost royalty, and even used DNA tests and genealogy to try and prove a connection to King James VI & I of Scotland & England. Yeah eyeroll.

 

Anyway, I was in the USMC in 1991, and had just returned home from Deployment. I had just entered into a Reconnaissance Unit, but I was given a week of “Vacation time” before I had to be in Camp Pendleton. So, I went to Los Angeles to visit my family.

 

My mother, a Jewish Born Scottish Woman who worked hard to support our family doing Legal Secretary and Legal Office Management or Waitressing. Was the primary income our family used for bills, rent, and food.

My Father was a Stunt Man, and did some Second Unit Direction, and Stunt Coordination. He also somehow ended up a union rep for the Directors Guild. He was gifted with the ability to Charm and talk his way into almost any situation, he also had no guilt about bold lies. If I had not been on set with him for most of his career in the film industry, I would not have believed it to be true.

But I was there when he got killed by Mel Gibson, I was there when he got killed by Chuck Norris, I was there when he got killed by Jean-Claude Van Damme. He was killed by the full list of the 80s Who’s Who of Action Film stars. He did the full list of bad B Action Films that any film geek would love. He was in the biggest Kids Action Film of the 80s doing stunts as an Ogre Faced person.

And he gained a reputation for being the big, nice guy willing to jump off any tower, and get punched by any hero. He also would preach his version of Born-Again Christianity to any willing to listen, and spent entire nights with a few big-name actors doing prayer circles and other BS.

 

So I had returned to LA the 80s were over, and My dad was no longer the perfect fall guy, so he was trying very hard to move from Stunts and Second unit to Writing, and Directing. He had some success at getting people behind a project or two he wanted to make and was able to get partial funding on a film project. For a Christian film he wanted to make.

He also did “the rounds” as he would call it almost daily. “The rounds” is when an actor or Stuntman, would visit all their friends who also worked on films, going to gyms, having lunch, visiting them at parties, and social functions, or just going to filming locations and interacting. It was a very social and travel intensive activity, and in a city like Los Angeles which is larger physically than most countries, doing the rounds can easily be an all-day activity. So, growing up as a kid, I often accompanied my father on his rounds, and when I had returned for my free week, I got to tag along with my dad on his rounds. He used my active-Duty status as a talking point as well. Which was annoying to be honest, as I much preferred to just be invisible. Dad was an extrovert, not me, I would rather be a shadow invisible to society. Just let me stand here trying not to be “At Ease” or “At Attention”, trying very hard to not look like a US Marine with my high and tight, and khakis civilian clothing.  

 

So, on this nice day in Los Angeles in the Venice Area, dad took me on the rounds, his first stop this fine late morning, was a world-famous gym owned and operated by the founder of another world-famous gym chain that had his name and was no longer owned by him. This Gym in the heart of Venice but was not on the beach but in a big, nice wood paneled warehouse sized airconditioned building with massive windows for natural light. And many free weights and not a lot of machines girly exercise tools, because toxic masculine big bald gay men lifting free weights was their aesthetic.

So, on this trip to the Gym, he was not there to work out, although dad always managed to dress in a way which looked very gay, and could be acceptable clothing for working out, or with a jacket something you could wear in an expensive café. 

His goals this morning was to talk to a world class Olympic athlete and multiple gold medal winner, who wanted very much to break into acting. As he was a very attractive man of mixed heritage who could pass as white or a minority.

My dad of course entered the gym like he owned it, and the owner of the gym was sitting at the desk in the back of the gym. The Olympian was finishing his workout, and my dad waited for him to finish his set. I stood back trying to be invisible, and smiled when dad introduced me, to this perfect twink. He was the Olympic god of the twinkest gays that had ever twinked. Slim body and the picture used to define Swimmers build, He was in a loose hot pink bare midriff cutoff style tank top, which barely covered his nipples and upper chest, and nothing else of his upper body, he was wearing the tiniest of short shorts which barely counted as loose boy shorts, that just barely hid his jock and stuff.

 

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He was leaning one hand on his hip the other up so he could lean his head in his hand, while he talked to my dad.

My dad was an orc dressed metro in front of the hottest twink to have ever lived in Los Angeles.

So the scene is set, the purpose of my dad was to convince this god to join with my dad’s publicist, as for some reason my dad believed if he signed up and became a big Hollywood actor, maybe my dad could get him to do a part in his Christian movie. Something that even if funded fully I kind of doubt he would be able to convince this hot guy to work on such a film. Honestly, if I could convince my mom to give me to script to that film, I would totally make it as gay and anti-Christian as possible. But that’s just me.

 

So. The conversation was simple, dad did his greetings. “Hey ***,”

“Hello, *****” The Olympian replied in the sweetest twinkest voice imaginable. Honestly, I think he just liked being extra gay in the gym, because on TV interviews, he was never that lispy.

 Dad then did the usual kind of boring socializing stuff. The Olympian was kind of flirting with my dad in the way a person would intentionally flirt with a person who was dense, and I was trying to hide in shadows while standing in the center of this gym. Taking in all the very clearly gay professional athletes who were clearly not out to society but were very into each other and working out and being manly sweaty manly men. Yeah, I noticed. I said nothing, this gym had an aesthetic and it lived up to it, and I too was very closeted, and very quiet, yet a part of me was giggling at how clear it was, and how clueless my father was to it all.

So I focused back at the conversation, as the Olympian was clearly frustrated about something.

“Well, you see, there is this rumor about me, you know!” he said.

“What rumor” oblivious dad being clueless.

“Well, you know…” hand waves at his body unconsciously.

“???” clueless dad not getting it.

“Well, you see (Famous Producer guy)” he proceeded to stumble his words, trying very hard to not say the taboo word, that no one used in this gym, the taboo word that could be used for all the very manly men of this gym.  After stumbling, and faltering, and not believing how clueless my father was“,…. and me, this rumor of me being his kept man.”  Said in an exasperated low voice, in my opinion his most masculine voice as of yet.

My dad paused, and like a light switch being flipped on dad, stepped back, tilted his head, and said in a loud masculine and gentile tone “Your not Gay Are You?”

The world paused, every weight being lifted stopped, every eye turned, and silence proceeded to hit the gym in a way not seen in opening hours.

The Olympian was shocked, and his jaw fell open.

My dad quickly became aware of the environment, and he got embarrassed. He gave the Olympian the card for the public and left.

A couple of years later, the Olympian released a book, and came out publicly, even made a film about it all.

The other athletes in that gym as far as I know have never come out, but I did notice that dad never talked about that gym any more.

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