Chapter 37: Episode 010: Aftermath Part 03

And so, we explained the situation and the points that were lost.

Elma took it all in while keeping her eyes on the ceiling. 

“So,” she said, “under my direction, Dorthaunzee accidentally killed three.” Elma closed her eyes and took a breath. “And here I thought we only fell the deserving... I even looked to check on the other women...” Elma opened her eyes. She had a solemn look to her.

I was silent. Svilran spoke for us instead. 

“We wanted to ask you what you thought about telling Dorthaunzee. I would like to not keep this from her, but Fainn is concerned about how she’ll react.”

“As he should be,” Elma calmly said, surprising me. “Every person has something they are well-suited for. Some are better at handling bad news than others...” She looked at both of us. “First of all, thank you both for finding me worthy. I appreciate that. As for Dorthaunzee, I think it was a good idea to not just tell us yesterday.” She placed her hand on her chest. “I can assure you, I am not upset that you broached this topic with caution. As for Dorthaunzee... I was in communication with that young, alien woman for hours yesterday. The longer I was connected with her, the more it felt like the boundaries between our minds dissolved.” Elma’s stare became serious. “I know very well how often that woman feels crippling fear—how often she invokes it. Every four to six minutes, she thinks of what terrifies her. That’s how often she tries to keep her curse under control. Someone like that, who has to mentally torture herself, cannot be expected to be stable and resistant to all stimulus.”

I let out a breath. Someone else really was echoing my concerns. Svilran, though, pouted.

“So, you don’t want to tell her?”

“I didn’t say that, Madam Goddess.” Elma smiled. “I think we should tell her, but very carefully.” Elma shifted her gaze to me. “When Dorthaunzee fills herself with fear, I don’t feel any regret or anger. As soon as it passes, she is happy again. Do you know what that suggests to me?” We were both quiet as we waited for her answer. “She wants to improve. As I understand, she doesn’t need to use fear to keep the tentacles under control, but she does it because it’s effective. That indicates that there’s much more going on beneath that kind demeanor. She willfully subjects herself to mental anguish in the service of a greater good.” Elma chuckled. “Though, maybe that’s the disposition of a holy woman?”

“She’s a Hero in the making, after all,” Svilran whispered, a smile returning to her face.

“I can tell you one last thing, though,” Elma’s smile grew wider. “Dorthaunzee doesn’t invoke her fear when she’s here. I know she feels incredibly relieved here, thanks to that mushroom that I only took off hours after settling into my room. After seeing the way the tentacle behaved, we all can guess why—“

“Fainn!” Svilran said, delighted.

“That’s right. Fainn’s presence by itself terrifies the tentacles so much that they won’t dare activate. The Hero Hub is where Dorthaunzee is the freest! Couple Fainn’s effect with Svilran’s effect on us—“

“Huh?” Svilran said, looking at Elma and I, perplexed. Elma didn’t notice, though, and I didn’t say anything.

“—and the conclusion is clear.”

I nodded. “The best place to tell Dorthaunzee is here, because this is the only place where she’ll be at her strongest.”

“That’s right. We’ll tell her, and when we do, we’ll be there to ensure that she processes it well and that her curse doesn’t harm her. Above all else, she must know that, though we were penalized, it is something we must carry with us and use it to do better.”

I was feeling more confident. “I’m in.”

Elma raised a finger. “One thing, however. Perhaps you could elucidate?”

Svilran and I shared confused looks and looked at Elma.

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“If we’re going to do this, I need to understand why this was so wrong,” Elma said. “I thought the afterlife is real. Why does it matter so gravely when we know the dead have somewhere to go?”

I looked at Svilran, and she nodded. “Life is precious,” Svilran said, her tone somber. “That is a fundamental truth. Just because some worlds may have an afterlife, it does not follow that living is a worthless exercise. There are things that can only be done and growth that can only be had in a ‘living’ life. The other factor one should consider is that the afterlives are not created equal. We, also, do not have the means to probe the afterlives deeply. For all we know, one afterlife could be paradise, but another could condemn all its inhabitants to suffer relative to our understanding of suffering. In this realm of infinite worlds, there are certainly worlds ruled by cruel randomness and unavoidable apathy. Of course, there could be a world and an afterlife completely swallowed by evil. That is why we cannot rest easy and tell ourselves it is okay to let the innocent in service of the good.”

Elma was stunned. She stammered for a bit before bowing her head. “My apologies, Madam Goddess! I didn’t think that was the case!”

Svilran waved her hands frantically. “No, no, please raise your head! It’s okay! It’s best that we have an awareness of how foreign the worlds can be.”

Elma raised her head. “Okay, I feel that I am better equipped now to care for Dorthaunzee should the need arise.”

“Hey, Elma,” I said. She looked at me, curious. “I just want to say that I think you’re spectacular.” She pulled a warm smile out of me. “Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.”

She reciprocated. “Thank you for letting me speak... And... Thank you for trusting me. I have an inkling that it was hard for you... especially because you witnessed how... hurt we could be. Knowing that you saw that and still opted to tell me...” She showed me a toothy grin as her eyes watered. “Thank you so much for believing in me. I promise I’ll never betray your faith.”

I scratched my cheek as I tried to hold back the waterworks. “Don’t build me up so much. It was hard—“

“There is nothing wrong with experiencing difficulty,” Elma said.

“It’s the difficult things that help people grow, Fainn,” Svilran followed. 

“Speaking of that... I want to share what it is I want the Heroes to be.” The two listened to me intently. “Life is difficult, and there will always be tough situations, but I want the Heroes we help to be the kind of people who will always try to do their best while also not turning their eyes from the times they weren’t able to be the best. Heroes who failed and still tried—I would rather them over any Hero who has never been less than perfect. A perfect Hero doesn’t need our help. I’m here for you, Elma.”

Elma’s cheeks went a little red. “And others like me, I hope.” 

“Of course.” I looked at Svilran one last time. “Let’s talk to Dorthaunzee. There’s something I want to do to celebrate a mission well done, but we won’t be able to do so until this mission is completed.”

“I’m right behind you, Fainn! Should I go get her?” Svilran asked, already out of her chair.

“No, let’s go to her.”

“If that’s the case,” Elma said, standing from her chair. “She’s over by the fountain right now. She was heading there when Madam Goddess came for me.”

“Alright.” I got up from the chair and headed out, the girls behind me. “Let’s face reality together.”

 

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