Chapter 24: Chapter 21: Burnt Out Acceptance

I was tired, so tired.

 

It wasn’t the physical exhaustion though - there wasn’t much for me to do that would truly force me to exert myself to any notable degree. No, the wear was psychological. 

 

Trying to name so many monsters was unbelievably mentally draining, but also necessary. It was the only way to raise their numbers without them killing. As much as my disposition towards the local human population had turned into annoyance, even anger, instead of fear or confusion, I didn’t desire anyone's death if I could help it.

 

Besides, even a complete sociopath would find himself hard pressed to find the way to use the slow utility power on the offensive. I didn’t think that ‘Corruptors’ themselves were truly opposed to violence, especially considering the revulsion they felt towards humans, but their plant twisting magic was more suited for other applications. The thorn walls they created could keep enemies away and rapid growth promised food for hundreds of my monsters.

 

There was a certain level of safety in numbers, and we now possessed the ability to sustain those numbers by transitioning from the hunter-gatherer lifestyle towards some form of farming community, albeit one powered by literal plant-manipulation magic. 

 

Growing the workforce required was almost as easy as figuring out what I would call them.

 

I just couldn’t think of any more names after the while. 

 

As much as my monsters enjoyed the process, cheering for every new summon, for every given name, I couldn’t do this for much longer unless I went for demeaning numerical designations. It might turn to that later, but I would not do it now. 

 

But despite my creative drought, I still ended up with more than a hundred of my little anthropomorphic lizards. All of them were full of energy, and immediately ready to take on their own new role in reshaping the surrounding forest. I couldn’t say the same about myself.

 

I still hugged or patted all of them, welcoming them into our ranks, inadvertently confirming that all ‘Corruptors’ were indeed warm-blooded, despite their green scale covered skin and overall reptilian image. It was strange how my brain tried to distract itself with minor trivia. 

 

With a plan clearer than any I’d had since coming here, the rest should have been straightforward, yet I paused far more often than I wanted to.

 

A few ‘Defilers’ needed to be given names as well, to supply my monstrous gardeners with the energy necessary to do the task I had given them. By then, I was at my limit.

 

I simply couldn’t think anymore.

 

My mind shut off and my mood, along with my motivation, evaporated. I desired nothing more than not having to think of anything meaningful and being able to relax. 

 

Luckily for me, my monsters were much more understanding than my colleagues at work used to be, and simply let me retreat from the pseudo-ceremony, or rally, I had orchestrated. 

 

When Narita informed me that our single prisoner wasn’t calming down, I simply waved it away with the order “deal with it”. 

 

I instructed the monsters, or rather Narita specifically, to not harm him, giving him food and water, proving it wasn’t poisoned, but nothing else. I couldn’t even think of anything else at that very moment, and wanted to push away the necessity to solve yet another issue, and let someone else deal with it instead.

 

My headache was growing, along with a certain internal unrest. I wasn’t in the mood for another attempt at learning the local language, or anything that required any measure of mental focus to go through. 

 

Tama and Miwah, the closest of my ‘Alphas’, led me away to the privacy of one of the dilapidated huts we had to use as the temporary housing. They were only buildings left behind in the abandoned hamlet. 

 

The largest of the buildings to be at our disposal was this longhouse of sorts, a mostly wooden construction with a thatched roof. It wasn’t by any means nice looking, compared to the structures we had seen around the shrine, but at the very least, it didn’t look like it would collapse on your heads soon. Other huts, though similar in style, didn’t seem reliable in that regard. Maybe a longhouse wasn’t the correct term for it either. It was merely a larger and more sturdy abode than the poor hovels were, but I couldn’t care about proper terminology at the moment. 

 

It also came with a stone fire pit, which my ‘Purifiers’ didn’t hesitate to light up. This was, however, where all benefits ended. We didn’t have that much overall, aside from things we looted from the caravan stashed here.

 

I sat on the single trick bedroll we pulled from the overturned merchant’s wagon, and watched the dancing flames while some of my monsters made their home here as well. A few of them removed the scavenged armour they wore at least, and lazed around for a while, or washed themselves with water they brought from the stream. 

 

Though it seemed it was mostly for my sake. Most of them were restless, and remained outside, continuing in their respective tasks. I assumed it was the power of the ‘Defilers’ that allowed this. Through the imperfect walls of the hut, I saw flashes of fire outside, and listened to the noise they made while I rested. Time passed, and I was certain the day was drawing to its end, and the flickering fireplace remained as the only source of light within the room.

 

I didn’t think that even Narita’s power would help with the mental weariness. The rat-girl didn’t show up for a while, and I felt somewhat guilty for delegating the task to her simply because I wasn’t in the proper mood for it.

 

Instead, I just spent most time in Miwah's embrace, almost not realising the descent while basking in the pleasant and calming warmth my faithful werewolf brought. 

 

I leaned against her, resting her head on mine. Although she was indeed an oversized, albeit anthropomorphic, canine, she didn’t reek. It was actually hard to catch her scent at all.

 

It was the smaller ‘Purifier’ that snuggled to me on my lap that smelled like aromatic wood. 

 

I found the closeness refreshing for the tired mind.

 

“Helmy?” I asked. 

 

“Master?” the ‘Purifier’ answered. I could tell it was her, though she didn’t wear her stolen, ill-fitted armour now. I at the very least remembered her name, and her naming allowed a certain level of discernable identity from the more common, unnamed monsters.

 

“I wonder if I would remember others I named today.” I mused, stroking Helmy’s fur, and my brain toiled to remember all the names: “Jasmine, Violet, Daisy, Holly, Willow, Orchid, Iris, Poppy, Lavender. Flora, Begonia, Narcissa, Juniper, Petunia, Primrose, Dahlia, Zahara, Magnolia, Florya, Linden, Kalina, Briar, Kveta, Xylia..." 

 

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I couldn’t remember all of them, I realised.

 

“Master!” Helmy quipped in, sounding approving despite her limited vocabulary. 

 

“I am definitely jealous right now.” Tama remarked, suddenly. 

 

The larger vixen sat next to the firepit, lashing her tail and, I assumed, was toying with the blaze as it pulsated, flashing higher, only to die down and be lit once more. 

 

Though, it was also possible that was the doing of other ‘Purifiers’ as there were a couple around in this crowded house, all poking at the fire. Unsurprisingly, pyromaniacal foxes wanted to play with fire, while the several ‘Eviscerators’ just hugged close too for warmth.

 

“Helmy, it’s Tama hugging time.” It sounded strange to say so. 

 

“Master!” Helmy protested, at least judging from the tone, but pulled away only for Tama to sneak closer instead. Having Tama and Miwah close didn’t feel unpleasant, which was something I didn’t find easy to just ignore. I was at the very least vary of them a day before, but sought their closeness almost automatically now.

 

“Finally, Master?” The vixen almost purred.

 

“Wouldn’t you like to have a male of your kind to flirt with instead?” I asked, still struggling to understand why they behaved the way they did. Women, at least the mundane, human ones, were never so open in showing interest. My monsters, however, weren’t human. 

 

“We are with the male of our kind right now.” She said, teasing me with her snout on my neck. 

 

This made me pause. Not because she was affectionate, she had been like this, or at the very least teasing, on multiple occasions. It was the fact they consistently didn’t think of me as human, not in a single instance. 

 

“I am human.” I protested. 

 

They laughed, both Tama and Miwah.

 

“You are spoiling the moment.” Tama almost scolded me, while I wished for a mirror, to have confirmation that my memories weren’t fake, and I was still myself. But there wasn’t any, and I didn’t free myself from their grasp either, somewhat confused with my own feelings towards my furry menagerie.

 

It made me wonder, at least for a short while, whether my monsters weren’t, in fact, my people and there was no home to return to. 

 

I touched my face, to the tenuous grasp over my identity, but I didn’t feel any changes. At least there was none on the level I could perceive. I was the same man I used to be, I thought, though the very mixed and strange emotions made me doubt even that. 

 

Perhaps I was going crazy - I had to remind myself it was just a day, a single day, since everything had become weird. 

 

“Overview.” I whispered, desperately trying to find the distraction from Tama’s advances without pushing her away. No matter how alien it felt, I didn’t want her gone. 

 

As the fiery vixen settled on simply snuggling with me, the system seemed willing to humour me with a diversion, and the bland status screen popped into existence in front of my eyes.  

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