Chapter 29: CH 28

Chapter 28: Pickled Vegetable with Fish

For a week after that, Shi Yan woke her up on time every day for a morning run. At the beginning, Ruan Zhizhi was out of breath from the first few runs, but now she was able to run three laps. Although this was far from enough from Shi Yan’s standard of six laps, it was already an immense improvement for Ruan Zhizhi.

At noon that Friday, the company had an hour and a half for their lunch break as always. Ruan Zhizhi and Lu Wanyi intended to go to the McDonald’s next to the company’s office building for a casual meal like usual. 

Lu Wanyi was a little astonished. “Zhizhi, Li Sichen is here, he must have been waiting for you.” After a pause, she added sincerely, “I can’t tell. He’s quite infatuated.”

Li Sichen?

Ruan Zhizhi’s heart thudded. Since last time’s incident at the bar, she and Li Sichen had not been in contact for a whole week. She thought the entanglement between them was completely over.

Li Sichen saw her and quickly parked his car, then got out.

When he drew near, Ruan Zhizhi clearly saw that Li Sichen, who had always been high-spirited, was now haggard. He had stubble on his chin and two heavy dark circles under his eyes.

“Zhizhi, do you have time? I wanted to find you to chat.”

Ruan Zhizhi thought about it, then nodded. 

A quarter of an hour later, the two of them sat in a milk tea shop near the company. 

Ruan Zhizhi sat in her seat, lost in thought. A moment later, Li Sichen brought a cup of taro milk tea and handed it to her.

Back when she was in college, every time she went to Chinatown to eat, she would order a cup of taro milk tea.

So it seemed that Li Sichen wasn’t completely indifferent to her. If Shi Yan hadn’t appeared, she probably would have chosen to be together with Li Sichen. But in other words, it was because of Shi Yan’s appearance that she realized that in this world, there were actually people that could treat her well.

Because he was too good, it seemed that everyone else was not good enough.

“Zhizhi, do you really want to be with Shi Yan?” Li Sichen lowered his head. After being silent for a long time, he asked with unwillingness.

Ruan Zhizhi took a sip of the warm and sweet taro milk tea in her hand and honestly said, “Him and I aren’t together yet.”

Li Sichen instantly breathed a sigh of relief when he heard these words. “Zhizhi, I have thought about what happened at the bar that night over and over. I admit that I didn’t care for you enough before, but I’m truly trying really hard already. So long as you’re willing to give me a little more time, I will certainly let you know that I am the man who loves you the most in this world.”

His voice was hoarse, and at the end, the rims of his eyes were slightly red.

Ruan Zhizhi pursed her lips and said word for word, “I’m very sorry. For me right now, Shi Yan is the more suitable partner for love.”

“How is he better than me? Zhizhi, you tell me, I can change no matter what.” Li Sichen’s tone was choked with emotion. “Zhizhi, I really can’t be without you.”

How was Shi Yan better than Li Sichen?

Ruan Zhizhi lowered her eyes. After a long silence, she spoke softly: “When I’m with Shi Yan, I often feel like I’m a child. I don’t need to be mature, I don’t need to pretend, and I don’t need to be strong. I just need to be by his side and be taken care of by him. But Li Sichen, when I’m with you, I always have to do so many things to win your attention. I feel so tired.” Her eyes hung down and she laughed a little self-deprecatingly. “No matter how deep the feelings are, they’re no match for day-to-day wear and tear. Over the years, you have really worn down my feelings for you.”

Li Sichen clenched his fists tightly, his blue veins bursting. “Zhizhi, I swear I can change. I will change all of these. You know that I’ve been used to standing in the middle of the crowd since childhood, so at times I neglected you…But you have to believe me, in my heart, you are the most important person in my life right now.”

After speaking, he reached out and opened his bag with urgent movements. He carefully took out a stack of greeting cards from inside and spread them out neatly before Ruan Zhizhi’s eyes.

These were all the cards she had once sent him.

When she was in the United States for university, even though the rooms they rented were only one block apart, she would always send him greeting cards whenever there was a holiday. She enjoyed sending him greeting cards and never tired of it, and for this reason, she was constantly scolded by Gu Nian for being a mental case.

At Christmastime, she sent him a card to remind him to wear more clothes to keep warm; at Thanksgiving, she sent him a card to remind him not to forget to eat turkey; at Halloween, she sent him a card to remind him to be careful when going out and to avoid being targeted by drug addicts.

……

It turned out that he still kept all these greeting cards.

“Zhizhi, you used to like me so much. You wouldn’t have been this heartless to me,” Li Sichen mumbled to himself. The emotion in his eyes gradually became vacant. “Give me one last chance, I will do very well, I will not be any worse than him…”

Ruan Zhizhi looked at him like this and her nose felt somewhat sour.

In any case, at this moment, her heart was grateful to Li Sichen. She was thankful to Li Sichen for being willing to collect those sweet and panic-stricken moments of her girlhood, and for not disdaining her beneath contempt or discarding her like worn shoes like she had imagined. 

She placed the milk tea gently on the table and looked up to meet Li Sichen’s eyes. “Li Sichen, thank you, but I’m very sorry. Right now, I really don’t have any extra feelings for you. Perhaps I can be your friend, but being the person you love is impossible.” After speaking, she stood up and bid farewell courteously. “If there is nothing else, I still have to go back to work.”

Finished, she opened her handbag and took out fifteen kuai, placing it neatly on the tabletop.

A cup of taro milk tea cost fifteen kuai. Ruan Zhizhi never liked to owe other people favours.

“Zhizhi.”

Ruan Zhizhi had just taken two steps when she suddenly heard the man behind her call out to stop her. His voice was very low, as if he was suppressing something. “Have you not heard the rumours outside? Shi Yan has had a difficult life. He was bad luck to his parents and is a person with shallow feelings. Moreover, he has severe depression. He’s like a ticking time bomb, who knows what day he’ll explode? If you’re with him, will you truly be happy for the rest of your life?”

Her footsteps paused for a moment at Li Sichen’s words. But it was only for a moment. Soon after, she continued to walk out the door without any reluctance. 

A difficult life? Shallow feelings?

Shi Yan may have been cold and detached by nature, but Ruan Zhizhi knew deep in her heart that he was always a good and honest person. Bad luck to his parents? What complete nonsense.

When dealing with people and things, Ruan Zhizhi had always been a rational and objective person. But this time, she didn’t even seek evidence. She chose to believe Shi Yan without the slightest hesitation. Even she herself didn’t know why.

Perhaps after going through these days and nights of getting along, Shi Yan really gave her a magic potion.

After Ruan Zhizhi returned to the company, it was ten minutes before work time. She got out of the elevator and kept her head lowered as she walked cautiously to her desk. Once she verified that her supervisor through the glass next door hadn’t seen her, she breathed a sigh of relief.

March would finally come to an end tomorrow. She would be able to obtain the perfect attendance award. Thinking about it, she was a little excited.

Afterwards, Lu Wanyi, who had originally been revising her manuscript earnestly, saw that she had come back. She immediately came over and excitedly whispered, “Zhizhi, I just heard from the supervisors that our company will hold a ball in a few days. I heard that this time, the participants are not limited to the staff inside our company. Many successful figures from other fields will be invited.” When Lu Wanyi talked about this, there was anticipation across her whole face. “I don’t know if I can go through the back door and get a ticket for my boyfriend too.”

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Ruan Zhizhi couldn’t help laughing. “If your boyfriend comes and sees you being smitten with other men, he will definitely be furious.”

After all, Lu Wanyi had complained to her many times, saying that her boyfriend was a person with extreme male chauvinism.

The other party pouted. “Right, forget it. He still wouldn’t come, so this way I still have a chance to dance and drink with a handsome guy.”

After getting off work, Ruan Zhizhi tactfully declined Lu Wanyi’s invitation to have dinner together and took a taxi to A University by herself. Yesterday, she had agreed to have dinner with Shi Yan tonight.

When Ruan Zhizhi arrived at the gates of A University, the sky was already a little dim.

Shi Yan had an evening class that day. She estimated that it wasn’t time for dinner quite yet. Ruan Zhizhi bowed her head and glanced at her wristwatch. Now, there was still half an hour before he finished class. Thinking about it, she decided to go buy him something to eat in advance.

There was a snack street specially for students near A University. Ruan Zhizhi strolled aimlessly through it for a long time. She felt somewhat defeated to discover that she didn’t even know what Shi Yan usually liked to eat. 

Probably because whenever she was with him, he always accommodated her.

In the end, after struggling for quite a while, she finally entered a 24-hour convenience store with a tidy appearance. At the sales counter, there were rice set meals arranged in order. They had sweet and sour pork cutlet, yuxiang eggplant, pickled vegetables with fish, and so on.

Ruan Zhizhi stared at these set meals for a long time. She felt that she was about to commit a major crime out of choice phobia.

To the side, the lady boss saw that she was indecisive. With an enthusiastic bearing, she came over to make recommendations. “Little girl, our store’s sweet and sour pork cutlet and our pickled vegetables with fish set meals sell very well. Right now, there is one of each left. You can give it a try. If it isn’t tasty, just come to me, I will give you a full refund.”

Ruan Zhizhi struggled in her mind for a moment, thinking that eating sweet and sour pork cutlet in the evening might feel greasy. Ultimately, she chose the pickled vegetables with fish.

With swift motions, the lady boss took out the food and put it in a food box. She also considerately put it in the microwave oven to heat it up for a few minutes. During this time, Ruan Zhizhi ran to the back counter and grabbed a bottle of whole milk. 

The lady boss couldn’t help laughing when she saw her actions. “I saw you walking back and forth around here ten minutes ago, and your expression was especially at a loss. Are you here to buy food for your boyfriend?”

“……” Ruan Zhizhi made a “囧” face. “Uh, not a boyfriend.”

“Then it’s the person you like?” The microwave beeped with a “ding” sound. The lady boss took out the food box while asking. Opening a paper bag, she attentively placed the steaming food box at the bottom and placed the milk on top, then finally folded the corners of the paper bag carefully before handing it to Ruan Zhizhi.

Ruan Zhizhi took out money from her wallet. After thinking for a long time, she replied, “I suppose. He treats me very well and helps me a lot, but I haven’t done anything for him. Just this time, I had the chance and wanted to buy him dinner.”

When she left the convenience store, there were only ten minutes before Shi Yan finished class. Ruan Zhizhi held the paper bag in her arms and walked to A University with quick steps.

Because she had already been there many times before, Ruan Zhizhi easily entered the third teaching building where Shi Yan taught lessons. Walking all the way up the stairs, she turned a corner and went to the door of the classroom.

She had listened to two lectures in this classroom before. It made her reminisce a little.

With light movements, she stood on her tiptoes. Through the window, Ruan Zhizhi saw that the students in the classroom had their heads lowered, in the middle of recording notes. Shi Yan stood on the podium, lazily lecturing. The expression in his eyes remained indifferent, and he appeared very unhurried and calm.

Ruan Zhizhi watched him for a while and had to admit that there was indeed a magic in this man.

He just stood in place, without having to do anything, and at once he could easily attract the attention of others.

She was just thinking about this. In the next second, unsure if it was telepathy or not, Shi Yan’s apathetic eyes looked straight at her outside the window. Ruan Zhizhi, who was in the middle of peeking, smiled with a little embarrassment when she saw him. After that, she raised the steaming paper bag in her hand in a very lackey-like manner.

Shi Yan’s pitch-black eyes softened. They were awfully bright—even more dazzling than the stars in the sky.

The class time came to an end quite soon. Some students went to the podium with their notebooks to ask questions. Shi Yan explained things to them very seriously. From Ruan Zhizhi’s angle at that moment, she could take in all of Shi Yan’s profile at once. His eyelashes were long and thick, fluttering gracefully like butterflies. The usual fierceness in his eyes had subsided, and under the reflection of the classroom lights, they appeared very tender now.

She thought that if they were in ancient times, Shi Yan would certainly be a beauty who brought damage to the country and suffering to the people.

Ruan Zhizhi leaned against the door frame and looked at his profile like this. Unconsciously, she was enchanted.

She quickly realized that she was acting just like Lu Wanyi being starry-eyed with infatuation, and Ruan Zhizhi turned her head away with some embarrassment.

As they packed their school bags to leave, the students in the classroom looked at her expression. Although they were still in wonder, it wasn’t as inconceivable as the past few times. They were probably already used to seeing her by Shi Yan’s side a lot.

She also heard a few girls discussing in a low voice, saying that Professor Shi had been single for so many years and had finally come around, willing to have a girlfriend.

Ruan Zhizhi recalled that when she had first met him, she had misunderstood that he was gay. She couldn’t help laughing.

After the students all left, Ruan Zhizhi walked into the empty classroom. Shi Yan was tidying some things on the podium.

She placed the paper bag in her hand on the podium and took out the aromatic food box. “Eat first, I’ll help you tidy up.”

Shi Yan turned a deaf ear to this, but in the end he compromised at Ruan Zhizhi’s insistence and set down the lesson plan materials in his hand to eat.

While packing up the materials, Ruan Zhizhi secretly surveyed Shi Yan’s expression. “The pickled vegetables with fish was recommended by the boss, I don’t know if you like it or not.”

The implication was to shift the blame onto the lady boss. In case it didn’t taste good, then it would have nothing to do with her.

Shi Yan lowered his head and tried a bite. “It’s very good.”

“Oh, then that’s good, it was something I carefully chose after a long time.”

“Not the boss’s recommendation?”

“Even though she recommended it, the final decision maker is me. In the final analysis, I had the discerning eye, and I chose thepickled vegetables with fish among numerous dishes,” Ruan Zhizhi retorted confidently.

Shi Yan couldn’t help laughing. “Ruan Zhizhi, I actually didn’t know. It turns out you’re so clever and eloquent.”

Ruan Zhizhi looked at his smiling expression and suddenly couldn’t say anything to refute. After packing his things, she found a random seat in the front row under the podium and sat down, quietly watching Shi Yan eat.

Even the flowing air became gentle.

When would the last layer of window paper be pierced?

Ruan Zhizhi tilted her head to look at him, and suddenly regretted not accepting him immediately that day.

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