Chapter 1: The most generic beginning ever.

It was a loud afternoon.

People were everywhere, thrashing about, running, pushing, poking at each other. Normally, you wouldn’t expect such a rush from the lazy Saturday crowd. They usually came to browse, for the most part, and then they would leave without buying anything.

But it’s not as if this sudden change in attitude came off as a surprise. In fact, I had expected it. Today was a very special day, after all.

The new Fighting Fantasy game was scheduled to come out today, promising an all new story, engaging characters, a new battle system and all the jazz that comes with JRPGs.

Everyone was clamouring for a physical copy of the game, to proudly display it on their gaming cabinets for....what, exactly? To show it to their friends and say, “Look! I own the PHYSICAL copy of the game, which was not only more expensive, but also wasted my car’s precious fuel, so I must be a better gamer than you!”

...or something?

I don’t really get all the craze about owning physical copies, but to each their own, I guess.

At least sales were going really well. I could overcharge the customers and they still wouldn’t complain. It was great!

Not as if I was really overcharging them though. Heh heh.

Sometimes, the opposite problem would arise. A customer would ask to pay MORE for the game, for some ungodly reason. I couldn’t fathom a reason as to why, but that was fine.

I’m just a cashier. I’m not paid to think about these things anyway.

What I am paid for is talking about the game, which draws in more customers, which means more money for the company, which means slightly more money for me.

The duty of a cashier is never over. We’re advertisements too, you know!

It’s not as if this job pays very well, though. Game stores are a thing of the past at this point, with everything you could ever want being available digitally. The customer base is very small, sometimes we don’t even get one customer during the day. That’s why days like these, boom periods we like to call them, are so important. Because they’re the one day we’re important.

The one day when we really matter.

So of course, I make the most out of this time. I fed practised lines to everyone that spoke to me, with a mask of politeness that I adopted as easily as someone who’s been working customer service for years.

I crunched numbers on the register with my right hand, and waved goodbye to the customers with my left.

I took those copies of Fighting Fantasy XVI....

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AND SOLD THEM!

A job well done, as some would say.

It was sunset when I had to close up shop. A few more customers had come in right before I could switch the sign to say ‘closed’, as they always do. I told them politely to screw off, because they missed the launch, then proceeded to move on with my life.

Ahh... Life was good. Wait, did I remember to get my groceries?

No, I didn’t, was my thought as the most cliche thing to ever happen nearly happened.

A truck came by. Heading straight towards me.

I wasn’t even jaywalking, I swear!

I ran away to side of the road, determined to avoid the clutches of generic isekai tropes.

The driver shot me in the face for my troubles.

He didn’t finish me off though. No, that would’ve been too easy. So I just lay there, dead to world for however f-ing long the police took to get to me.

“You’re gonna be okay! You’re gonna be fine!” They said, panicking on behalf of me.

“Fuck you.” I said, done with their bullshit.

“Also, tell my dog I love h- gwawawggahwahh!”

And that was how the curtain of one John Merchant fell.

He died, choking on his own blood, desperately trying to tell the police about his beloved dog and best friend, Leo.

Also, for those of you wondering, yes, Merchant is my last name, NOT my profession.

Get it right, or I’ll punch you.

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