Chapter 58: Chapter 44- harutos hurting himself pt 4

(P.O.V Haruto)

I walked the hallways with marble tiling and implanted carpets in the center of the floors. The illuminated white walls with the occasional mirror did nothing to distract me.

I left the weight room feeling more weighted than ever. Very ironic when you think about it. 

The words of Kobaya-, I mean Nachman, really left an impression, but could she be talking about just Himeno or relationships in general? I didn't know much in life, but what she said did make sense. If I continue on my path to please these damaged women, will I discard everything for them once I'm able? Or will everyone and everything I came across in my journey stay with me for life?

Lost in my thoughts I decided to walk while checking my phone. I immediately see some messages I haven't opened. I received a few "I miss you" texts from Rika and Mirai. Sachiko left a voicemail saying that Sakura isn't allowed to message me directly unless given permission. At first I was concerned about that situation, but the voice-mail went on to say that Sakura isn't used to being separated from me as well as the issue with my mom missing Sakura would contact me excessively and probably get in my way. As much as I want to be there and help Sakura, I couldn't disagree with the logic. So I decided to message Mirai to let her know I received Sachiko's message and let Sachiko know I understand, while also telling Mirai I miss her. I also messaged Rika and let her know I missed her. After that was over I asked either of them if they've tried K*C chicken, Mirai had not but Rika is a fan. I told them we should order it for dinner once I return.

What continued was messages of how me and Himeno are doing and our progress. They were very concerned but also very supportive. Rika offered to have her papa call some people, and I honestly told her….

Fuck no do I want to deal with that muscle bound psycho and his favors!

*ahem*

What was really said was.

"If we need him I'll let you know, but first let's see what Himeno and I can do."

Yes I know I chickened out, but not only do I like and respect Rika's father….. he kicked my ass once already and those are valid reasons.

Almost to my room I let the girls know I'll talk to them tomorrow. Before I could close my phone though, I went over Akio's name in my phone. Even if we weren't together anymore, no matter how short lived it was, I loved her and we are friends. The memories of all the Wednesday meetings of us having all just passing time together. I spent some days doing absolutely nothing with those three girls and I would still head home smiling. 

They say being with the one you love is an action in itself. So you should never feel bored near the one you love.

Of course that was said before cell phones, the entire world is just full of stimuli that the old sayings just don't hold true anymore. Everything at the touch of a fingertip and ironically it causes us to lose touch with ourselves and those close to us.

The memories that I held so dear while I was going through my issues with Sakura. Even though I have Rika and Mirai, not having Akio makes me feel….. empty. Like those three together is ONE whole piece of a puzzle to me, as I helped them live normally, they also helped me do the same. All of these feelings because of sex.

Fuck, before sex even mattered with those three I loved every minute with them. I looked forward to it, everyday I woke up wishing it was Wednesday. 

They were my hope now that I think about it. I hoped Sakura could return to normal and be like them with me. I wished for Sakura to be them so much that they ended up taking the spot Sakura had in my heart, but now once again because of sex, Akio is away from me.

Isnt sex suppose to mean something? Isn't it supposed to matter or be meaningful? Why did it keep taking from me instead of bringing me happiness? Even now im suppose to fuck random, but I'm not happy with that. Even my virginity was just thrown away to make none of the women I've jealous.

I'll admit that I thoroughly enjoy it though, no lies here, but I want substance. I want to know this life we live isn't for nothing. That an accident ending your life doesn't wipe you from existence. If I die and nothing I did mattered in the end, shouldn't I have just fucked everyone and had fun? I need to know love is valid, that what I do matters.

As my thoughts clouded my vision.

*KA-TUNK*

I actually walked into a wall. 

"Fuck! Owwww!" I began rubbing my head furiously. "Shit, at least it wasn't the corner of something." I said as I rubbed my sore head and collected my thoughts. I looked around and noticed that I was several feet away from my door, I must have started to veer right as I was lost in thought. I re-composed myself and went to my room.

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Upon entering my hotel room, or what I thought was my hotel room, I was assaulted by an aromatic wall and dim candle lights. The entire room was dark save for only a few aroma candles lit in the room. There were flower petals on the bed and some kind of slow music looping in the air. 

"Welcome back my prince." Said Himeno as she stepped out of the bathroom.

"*hic*" My voice was caught in my throat. She was wearing a blue micro bikini! 

Is that a bikini? Is it lingerie?! No! Wait!? A c-c-c-combo!?

Imagine if you will, a regular bikini top with only side straps nothing over the shoulder, now imagine that cup part for the breasts was actually a tiny(tiny, tiny) square window big enough to cover a nipple. Only that square that was suppose to cover that was supposed to cover the nipple, is an empty window! The entire top is just a blue lace string with two windows exposing Himeno's tiny hardened nipples.

It's like blue glasses…… FOR TITS!

Looking at the toned figure of my sister brazenly standing there made my cock hurt. Every part of her toned body was on display and as contradicting as it sounds, she radiated femininity. Her thicc solid thighs down to her defined legs. Although she was trained and her body hardened, the only places she had veins exposed were the back of her hands and lightly on her forearms, her feet, and on the lower part of her abs leading to her smoothen sex.

Finally glancing at her pussy must of made Himeno excited, because I could swear the veins in her pelvis flexed. Pumping blood straight to her womanhood to produce the lubricant for me to sheath my dick within her. It took only a moment to realize Himeno was actually wearing bottoms. She has two translucent straps going around her hips and coming together at the peak of where her clit should be. A small piece of blue lace covered her adorably puffy slit.

Does she actually have a puffy slit? Or his her lack of a labia causing the skin in her crotch to just make it appear so?

I couldn't help my thoughts.

"I hope you like it." She said confidently. "This is supposed to be worn the whole time, so we don't need to waste time undressing." She motioned at her ensemble with her hands. 

"But how am I-" I was going to say but her slit is covered, but before I could Himeno turned around exposing her plump and defined ass at me. The translucent straps are held together in the back by a translucent bridge that sits on Himeno's tailbone, but what was surprising was that the lace covering her pussy was nowhere to be seen. Himeno leaned forward and brought two hands to her ass and pulled her cheeks apart exposing a puckering asshole. A beautiful reddish pink asshole with the tiniest gape. It looked like it sunk slightly inwardly. It was open and vulnerable and not even a tiny cloth is blocking it.

Was she preparing her ass? That's what she wants, she wants me to fuck her ass!

My thoughts then wandered. As I thought of fucking Himenos ass, I began to think of the other girls asses, I began to think about random things. Before I thought that it was my one lonesome self to 4 girls, but I meant it as one dick to four vaginas but that's not the actual case. It's my one dick versus 12 holbusy.

Well actually 11, unless I find a way to penetrate Mirai's bussy.

I didn't even know if they wanted me to fuck their asses, but if I did I would have to use my dick to bring them to the heights of pleasure. I began to think about the asses of all of them.

Rika has the biggest ass, Akio the smallest, Himeno has the least amount of jiggle, and Mirai…… her ass is honestly the best. All their pussies probably look different, but what about their assholes? I want them to open their asses and let me smell them……. What the fuck is wrong with me? When did I get this perverted?

"It's rude to think of others at times like this." Himeno said with a poutm as if knowing what I was thinking.

“Ah…ahhhh…” I shake my head, “Sorry sis. Just, you know, there's been a lot on my mind and yo-your so beautiful I just, my minds just-” Himeno came and hugged me, cutting off my words. 

“Shhhh, shhhhh.” she patted my head.

I love this girl so much! Fuck I love her, but we are brother and sister. We can’t do this type of thing in public.

A cold wash of emotions splash over my emotions, and raging hard on, as i realize how open Himeno is about sex publicly. Society won’t allow us to be together if our relationship was made public and I can't lose her again. To abstain from touching her the way that I want is a small price to pay for us to stay together. In her arms I feel so protected and loved. I secretly

Why has she been so sexually aggressive with me? Is this how she always was, but she held back because I was young? Is she compensating?.......!!!!?????? OH MY GOD!!! ALL THE WOMEN I HAVE IN MY LIFE ARE WHO-FORMER PROSTITUTES! Himeno must be competing with them, that would explain why she pushes boundaries. 

*SNIFFFFF*

Himeno takes a deep whiff of my scent, and I won't lie I snuck a not so obvious one myself. I let ourselves enjoy each other for another moment before I realize….

“OH MY GOD!” I gripped her shoulders and push Himeno off me slightly, “Hime! I STINK!” My face flushed bright red as the realization dawned on me. I worked out for a long time and sweated through my clothes, it was at this moment that i did ot see Himeno as my sister at all. Right now Himeno was a girl I loved and she…. She…..

She just whiffed my stink!!!!

Sakura cheating on me, still going to school with Akechi like nothing was wrong because he didnt know I was sent the video of him and Sakura from Sasuke, being beaten nearly to death by Sasuke, all of these were humiliating but I was never as embarrassed as I am now. Himeno; my sister, lover, and beloved. Had just inhaled my skunked up B.O!

“I-I-I gotta go!” I looked at Himeno for a brief moment before pushing past her, the look on her face was difficult to read but I paid it no mind and I rushed to the bathroom and locked the door.

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*PANT* *PANT*

Alone in the room and breathing heavily, Himeno is shaking with delight. Her eyes have turned into the notorious heart shapes and begins to move one of her hands to her crotch. 

“Hu~un.” Himeno gently touched the small piece of bue fabric on her slit, which is already drenched in fluid and dangerously close to dripping, which elicited a tiny moan. She has become so aroused that her entire body was covered in goosebumps, her nipples have hardned in there windows, and her clit is throbbing almost screaming to be touched.

“Ha-Ha-Haruto’s~ embarrassed face.” She brought her hands up to her face and touched both of her blazingly hot pink cheeks. “Its the best! HNNNNNNN~”, thinking of her brothers embarrassed face was enough to push her over the edge, a climax whichmade her knees buckle and almost fall down, but she caught the bed in time to correct her footing. Several drops fall from the soaked lace slit cover, and a smile formed on Himenos face.

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I was in a bath reflecting on everything.  My new found dirty thoughts, my uneasiness with Himeno, the issues with Akio, how Mirai was before we left, how I will deal with Koko-chan, and how hI wants to assure Rika’s murderous father that he can make her happy.

With how Rika has control over her father I probably don't have to worry about that. Akio and the rest of the girls should be safe at the moment.

All these problems areimportant, but in the endthey are a distraction. These problems I have some kind of control over, I can make choices to affect the outcome, Im not powerless and thats why they are a distraction. I need to focus onfinding my mother,but in that situation I have absolutelyno control, I can only hope and it made me feel so….

Useless.

*Sigh*

I need to focus on something else. Right now I'm with Himeno and I want our foundation to have a better base. I am so attracted to her. I want to unload everything I have inside of her every moment of everyday, but I don’t want her to feel forced. I dont want her to think that I only want sex, and I dont want her to think that way about the other girls. We have a lot of missing time to make up for and I want memories, I want commitment, I want all of her not just her sex. I need to try and convey this to her and in reverse I need to show the girls I did spend time with, that I do want more than a platonic relationship. That I still see them all as beautiful and not like sluts or whores…… Some will be harder than others though.

So I decided to slow sex down with Himeno so that she can learn that I love her for everything else she has to offer and not just her body. I was hoping that this would lead to her behaving in public and having a higher opinion of me, we will have to find out. For the other girls I want to show them I am not disgusted with their pasts and that I can accept them as they are…..

Sex would be the best way to do that right?

Unlike them I never had to help Himeno through anything. I never had a chance to be there for her like I was with the other girls, however I want to find a balance with all of them to show that I love them and won't mistreat them just to get in their pants.

Getting out of the shower I dry off and change my clothes (just pajama pants). Upon entering the bedroom I was assaulted by the aroma candles again. I didn't mind it too much as I was prepared this time. On the bed was Himeno laying on her side looking in my direction. I approached the bed.

“Come on, let's go to bed.” I said, causing Himeno to give me a predatory smile. She gets up on her knees and she brings her arms around me and pulls me into a kiss. As our lips touched we hungrily devoured eachothers flavor. While playing with our tongues I push onto the bed pushing Himeno back. We are both on our knees on top of the bed as I gently pull the covers out from under our knees without breaking the kiss. I then pull the covers over us as I lay us down. Himeno climbs on top of me and breaks the kiss as she tried to work her way down, but I stopped her.

“Hey, hey,” I held her waist, “Not tonight, lets just get some sleep, ok?” Himeno looked at me like I just spoke chinese, confused as shit.

“But….” she began to speak as one of her hands reached down to touch my raging dragon, who was angrier than if a halfling tried to steal its gold.

“No,” I grabbed her hand. “Can we just cuddle? I really don’t want to have sex.”

Not one to go against her brother, as always, Himeno just nodded and fell to my side. She faced away from me and that allowed me to be the big spoon. Even with my hard on, I was actually tired enough to fall asleep.

“Goodnight.” I said as I kissed the back of Himeno’s neck, while also gently smelling her hair.

“Goodnight.” She replied without moving.

A night without sex and jut holding eachother was me wanting to relay that I will always be with Himeno, even without sex, and I think I did a very good job. I buried my face into Himenos hair as I hugged her tightly before I closed my eyes, an my world drifted to darkness.

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The unfortunate thing I didn't notice that evening was that my sister lay silently crying. Tears fell slowly from her eyes without making a sound. It took her hours before she followed me to dream land. I really wish I knew how she felt at this time.

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"AHHHHHHHHH!"

"HOLY SHIT!" I kicked and panicked as I woke up, I ended up falling out of the bed, but I quickly hopped to my feet. "WHAT HAPPENED?! HIME ARE YOU OK!" I yelled with my fists raised looking around the room.

..

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..

*pant* *pant*

Himeno sat up and ignored what I asked. Her beautiful pale skin looked even whiter as if lifeless and covered in sweat. She was breathing heavily and had a blank look on her face. She looked horrified.

"Hime, are you ok?" I lowered my fist and tried to reach out to her, as my hand touched her she flinched and moved away but she stared at me.

"O-o-oh, Har-ruto." She glanced around the hotel room regaining her bearings. She quickly gets out of bed and takes off her outfit from last night and goes to the bathroom.

I was confused and concerned but at a loss of what to do. I was hoping she just had a bad dream, but I was never used to helping her with nightmares. 

What would she have a nightmare about?

I wanted to be there for her and I wanted her to feel safe. Obviously I must ask her about this. That was my plan anyway, but 15 minutes later when Himeno emerged from the bathroom she looked at me and told me to be quick, we had to enact our plan today for looking for mother.

As concerned as I was, what she said made sense and I had to deal with this first. I entered the bathroom and freshened up. When I came back to the room Himeno was gone and there was a note on the bed.

"I'm off to the hospital and look at my section of the map. Please go to your district and find mom.

P.S

You must have been tired last night, but don't forget to show your amazing side to any woman that wants to see it. I already know my brother is the best~."

She seemed to have herself together, so I decided to do the same. I knew where I had to do my search so I got dressed and I set out.

…………

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I've been going into building after building and showing an old picture of my mother? Hoping someone had seen her. I really wished I took a picture of her whole she was in a coma, but I don't know a single person that says to themselves:

"Oh I should take a picture of my coma induced relative every year just in case they get kidnapped from the hospital they were in."

Jokes aside, she didn't look like how I remembered her anyway. While she was in a coma her muscles slacked.over time and she looked different to when she was my vibrant and vigorous mother of the past.

For hours I searched and searched, just looking for clues. I even checked out the shady looking places, and that caused a rather interesting meeting.

I entered a "therapeutic massage house" and I was questioning the clerk. She looked like she was of Chinese descent and had a hard time understanding me. I pulled out the picture of my mom, although it was from her youthful days, I had hoped it was recent enough to help in the search. 

After being rejected by the clerk I honestly became disheartened. It wasn't because I was losing hope, but the clerk barely looked at the picture before denying anything. This had happened to me several times and it began to annoy me. People in life want to keep to themselves, anyone can understand that, but this was a matter of my precious family and there was no way I could stop my emotions from showing. 

I exited the building before I ended doing something the clerk regretted, and that's when it happened.

"......Hiro-nii?"

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