Chapter 59: Chapter 57: Mirrors

Once Lilith was back from the meeting, she sat down on her bed. Alright, Carmen, time’s up. What’s going on?

Lie down first.

Carmen, you’re freaking me out. Seriously, what’s up?

Just do it.

Lilith sighed, but did as requested. The moment she was laid down, she found herself…transported. Mentally, anyway. She was in a black featureless void, empty save for Carmen typing away at a computer.

“Um, what?” Lilith asked, bewildered. “Where are we?”

Carmen pressed a few keys, a progress bar popped up on the screen, and then she wheeled her chair around to face Lilith. “We’re inside our head. Go ahead, sit down, we’re going to be here a while.”

A chair popped up next to Lilith, and she reluctantly sat down. “OK, I’m here, I’m sitting, what do you want? You’re not acting like yourself.”

Carmen gave her an uneasy smile. “That’s…a hard question to answer. Let me tell you a story, and hopefully you’ll understand better, alright?”

Lilith frowned. “Is all this really necessary? We could just…share mental information. It’ll be faster that way.”

Carmen gave a smirk. “Oh, how the tables have turned. No, we can’t. And I do mean can’t, not won’t.”

Lilith shifted uneasily, a knot growing in her stomach. “What do you mean by that?”

“Look, just let me tell you the story, alright? You’ll understand better if you keep it in mind while we talk.”

“Fine, whatever, tell me your story.”

Carmen shifted her stance slightly, getting into a more comfortable position. “Once upon a time, there was a very lonely Administrator. She had recently struck out on her own, and being new to her craft, had not yet established herself and was missing many of the comforts she had grown used to under her tutor. For a time, she kept herself separate from the world as much as she could, allowing it to progress at its own pace.

“But, millennia of self-imposed isolation took their toll. While she may have had occasional contact with her colleagues, she longed for daily interaction with someone, anyone. So, she decided to look to her afterlife, reasoning that it didn’t matter if she interacted with them if they couldn’t affect the world in any way.

“So, she introduced herself, and slowly began to bond with the few spirits contained in that afterlife. She grew particularly close to one of them, eventually becoming romantically involved. The spirit in question was one of the oldest in the afterlife, a fellow succubus by the name of Lilith.”

All sorts of alarm bells went off in Lilith’s head. “Wait, but…”

Carmen held up a hand, forestalling any further comment. “And for a time, she was happy. She had companionship again, the world was at peace, and everything was going well. But, as always, disaster struck. The people of the world had quickly grown to realize that there simply wasn’t enough room, not if they wanted to keep growing.

“War descended upon the land and, in a panic, the Administrator turned to her closest confidant. Lilith told her that, at times like these, it was perfectly understandable to seek help from her seniors. Just because she had struck out on her own did not mean she had to try and solve everything on her own as well.

“So, she ended up getting the gift of a plane from one of those seniors, and advice from the others. In a panic, she introduced the new plane and segregated the warring factions to give them some time to cool off. She let the spark of technological innovation burn on one side, and let magic develop on the other, in hopes that when they were eventually reintroduced, they could combine into a greater whole.

“But she wasn’t sure how to properly combine those two without massive conflict once again occurring. She didn’t want to overstep her bounds and directly intervene when the time for combination came, but she also didn’t want to leave the world unattended. So, she once again turned to her lover, who gave her an idea. Raise a champion to be the arbiter for the two sides, and, while she was at it, use the combination of the sides as an excuse to fix the flaws in her system.

“She also encouraged the Administrator to play a role in this as well, not as a goddess, but masquerading as a regular mortal, subtly guiding the world to the path she wanted. Lilith reminded the Administrator that while it is important to allow those in her care autonomy, it is just as important to guide them towards the right path.

“So, the Administrator did just that. However, she ran into a particularly rough issue when it came time to actually raise this arbiter. She wanted to make sure that the arbiter would turn out to be someone she could trust, but didn’t want to force someone into a role they didn’t desire and didn’t want to groom them for their entire life either.

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“Eventually, it was decided. She would reincarnate one of the souls from her afterlife, whom she knew were trustworthy. Their memory would be permanently wiped, and it would be a bit of a gamble, but it would be better than just picking a random person from the crowd. So, she asked for volunteers.”

“This is…making me uncomfortable, Carmen. I don’t like where this is heading.”

Carmen gave her another sad smile and continued. “The most insistent of the volunteers was, of course, Lilith. She begged and pleaded with the Administrator to be the one for the job. After all, who could she trust more? And, what was more, it would allow them to be physical without any of the constraints they had if they wanted to do that before. Her memory would be wiped, yes, but she was confident that, given time, they would get together again. After all, it was personality that had drawn them together in the first place, and that was what was important.

“Finally, the Administrator relented. She would let her lover take the job, as terrifying a prospect as that was for the Administrator. So, she began her work to reincarnate Lilith, trying her utmost to make sure as much of her personality as possible was retained.

“And it was that enthusiasm that led to one of her greatest mistakes. She tried too hard, and the soul fractured into two. The fragments wrestled with each other for a short period before seeming to reach some sort of an understanding, and the Administrator could only watch in horror as they reincarnated, one of the fragments seeming to go into a deep hibernation.

“As the Administrator observed the person her lover reincarnated into, she found that the ‘main’ fragment contained the parts of personality that the Administrator had tried most to protect; her loyalty, kindness, and willingness to do whatever she could to make those she loved happy. But…that was all that fragment contained, really. And, for a while, it seemed that not only had she failed to make a proper arbiter, but she had lost her love in the process.

“But she wasn’t willing to give up. She would go through with the plan anyway, in hopes that she could eventually heal the fractured soul. She let the boy her lover had reincarnated into grow, and then, right as she was beginning to seriously start to put things in motion, there was a…wrinkle thrown into things.

“The boy was to undergo a transformation, and…she couldn’t hold herself back. She, in a moment of longing, interfered with the transformation, giving the boy the appearance of her old lover and impressed upon those around that ‘Lilith’ would be the proper name for her new form.

“And, as if to say that she had made the right choice, she almost immediately received a ray of hope. The other fragment, long dormant, had surfaced in the ‘main’ fragment’s time of need. This fragment contained the decisiveness and mischievous that the administrator loved, but little to none of what normally held a person back from acting on impulse.

“And, now that both fragments had been awoken, she noticed a strange phenomenon. Almost imperceptibly over time, the fragments were beginning to take aspects of their counterpart, and the soul was starting to heal.”

Carmen leaned back in her chair, letting out a sigh. “As you have no doubt figured out, this is a story about us. I don’t know if you ever consciously noticed, but I’m…different from all the other Parallels. I popped up by myself at the first possible opportunity. And, well, I…began to notice some oddities.

“I know you’ve felt it, that comforting sense that comes with being around Kali. And I know that you get feelings that, though you have no reason for, you can’t really…shake. And I thought long and hard about that, but it wasn’t until we met our teachers that I really began to put things together.

“And, after some examination and checking with Kali, Solomon was able to figure everything out. She told me this story in bits and pieces, then helped me prep for what was to come.”

A look of comprehension flashed across Lilith’s face, followed by horror. “No, you can’t! We’re…different! Just because we were originally one person doesn’t mean that we have to be again!”

Carmen shook her head. “I’m afraid it does. It was going to happen anyway, so I let Titania stab me. I needed time to prepare so we could get this done on terms that would be the most favorable for us. We’re going to be out for quite a while, and so it was best if it happened in a controlled environment. Otherwise it would be a ticking time bomb, threatening to go off whenever.”

She sighed. “But, even beyond that, this is for the best. Lilith, we’re both caricatures, idealized traits of a person without the context that made those traits good in the first place. We’re both incomplete.”

Lilith stood up and walked over to Carmen, grabbing her. “It’s not too late to stop this. We can work something out. I mean…you’ll just sort of…disappear after this! You can’t be content with that!”

Carmen smirked. “That’s just like you. Did you even think about what this potentially means for you? Look, I’m not going to disappear, and you won’t either. If you split a lump of clay into two pieces and then recombine them, do those split lumps disappear? No. They’re just back to being whole.”

“That’s clay! We’re talking about people!” Lilith wailed. “Seriously, just cut it out, and we can pretend this never happened!”

Carmen shook her head. “No can do. I’ve spent this last week getting the process ready, and now that it’s started there’s no going back. Take a look.” She pushed her chair away from the desk, giving Lilith an unobstructed view of the computer.

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