The Outsider (Intersex)

Chapter 5: Chapter 5


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The next few weeks passed quietly, as the tribe healed from the heavy losses. Sedraa couldn't bare being as unscrupulous as before. She always thought the other wolves looked at her with pity. She hated that she was being treated like this. She already felt disgusting as it is, but their looks kept reminding her of that day. The engagement ceremony was obviously unable to continue, and just like that the tribe had lost its joyous atmosphere.

The wolves that had the most uncomfortable time were the blood relatives of Arzhen. They had to endure the whispers of the tribe. Making them feel that they had done some heinous act.

Arzhen's mother, Lida, was especially resentful of these wolves. They acquiesced to her child being thrown away that day. She had always regretted allowing them to take her child from her. If she was brave enough, she could've left with her. Lida hadn't seen her child. She stayed in the cave while the others went out. Hearing the description of her daughter made her feel very complicated. Although she can't condone the child's actions towards the tribe, she also is thankful of her daughter's ferocity, so that she could live to this day.

Watching the child's brother and sister openly denounce her, even going as far as blaming her for giving birth to the child. Lida was truly disappointed. Her husband footed the blame to her as well, treating her coldly, seemingly hoping that it would allow them to reintegrate with the tribe.

Lida couldn't stand it any longer. She left the cave and entered the forest. The others thought that she was just going to hunt on her own. Knowing her situation, they ignored her. However her direction never stagnated, always moving straight. She wanted to see her daughter. Even if it meant that she'd be killed by her. At least she could get a glimpse of the child that has become her lifelong regret.

Arzhen lay in her den, listlessly gnawing at the boar that she had just brought back, when she smelled a somewhat familiar scent. It was a scent that she had only known for a day, but she could never forget it. It was her mother, the beautiful woman with guilt laden eyes. Arzhen felt very complicated towards this woman. She understood the woman's choice, no one would choose to live alone if they had a tribe to support them, but she also resented the woman that abandoned her.

She could sense that her mother had come alone. She also knew that her mother transformed into her human form, probably to show that she wasn't a threat. Arzhen rose to her full size and moved towards the woman.

Lida saw the mountains of bones that had been piled up around a large entrance and understood why the tribe was afraid. However she didn't fear the child inside, even if the child killed her today, she'd welcome it with a smile. She gazed upon the huge black wolf that emerged from the bones and smiled gently at the monstrous wolf with piercing eyes.

The black wolf didn't stop until she stood only a metre away from the tiny woman. Arzhen noticed that she was thin. 

"It seems that her life hasn't been good in the tribe", Arzhen thought.

Arzhen was intrigued by the woman's bravery. She showed no fear in her presence. She just stood there with gentle eyes and a sincere smile.

Arzhen decided to change to her human form. She could guess that there was no need to intimidate the woman in front of her.

This was the second time Lida had seen the child's human form. Looking at the tall and muscular young woman in front of her, made her want to cry. She gathered up her courage and spoke in a whisper.

"Hello child. I'm Lida".

She didn't dare to call herself the child's mother. She didn't deserve that title.

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Arzhen gazed over the mature but emaciated beauty thoughtfully.

"Are you not afraid? Every one of them almost cried at the sight of me", she said jokingly.

Lida knew who she meant by "them". She looked up at the child and responded earnestly.

"I don't fear you."

Those words struck a gap in the thorns covering Arzhen's heart. She didn't know what to do. She had always hoped that someone would look at her with love and affection, but year after year in this ruthless place left those pointless hopes a fantasy. Now her mother stands in front of her showing the gentleness she had always hoped for, honestly, Arzhen was at a loss.

Arzhen had never been one to hesitate, she grabbed the woman by the waist and carried her into the den.

Lida was stunned by her child's actions, however she was ecstatic with the close contact. She wrapped herself around the child, making it easier for her to be carried while resting her head on the child's shoulder. A tear slipped from her eye and fell on the bare shoulder under her.

Arzhen knew her mother was crying silently, she didn't know how to coax others, so she just kept walking without mentioning anything. She reached the bed where the boar she was eating lay. She put the woman down in front of the boar and ordered.

"Eat".

Lida followed the child's orders. She picked up a piece of meat that had been chucked aside from the rest of the corpse. Chewing it slowly, as if to savour it.

Arzhen couldn't understand her actions. Seeing that she wasn't following her order properly, Arzhen felt a little annoyed. She tore off a large chunk of meat and threw it in front of the woman.

"I said eat. Not nibble on scraps".

Lida knew she had made her child angry with her misunderstanding. However she felt a little helpless. Her husband wasn't one of the stronger hunters, so she already had a small amount of food, and with the attitude of the tribe, she received even less. This was the most meat she had ever been given in her life. She couldn't help but cry as she bit into the gift her child gave to her. 

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