Chapter 514: “You are never going to let me live this down, are you?” - Jake Thayne

So, some good and some bad news. On the good side, Jake had now figured out how to put other people in a coma that they didn’t seem to wake up from by themselves even after three days. On the bad side, Jake had now put someone into a coma and didn’t really know a way to wake them up.

Izil had been “sleeping it off” on the couch for a full three days, and Jake’s initial assessment of it only taking a few hours tops for her to wake up had been a little off. In his defense, he had kind of gone in with the assumption that Izil had some kind of innate poison resistance like everyone else seemed to, but Meira made it clear Izil never worked with poisons at all. She had come to the Order to learn about poisons exactly because she lacked knowledge in that area. So yeah, pretty big oopsie there.

The type of poison he had infused was inspired by the ethtoxin he had killed the big blue mushroom under Haven with – the kind that was incredibly hard to detect and eliminate. So hard to eliminate that Izil’s body didn’t seem to register it as harmful and had just absorbed it all into her very soul within a short period.

At least it appeared to be slowly losing effectiveness by itself, but with how slow it was, Jake reckoned it would be measured in months and not days when she would wake up by herself. Maybe, in hindsight, it wasn’t a good idea to infuse so much damn poison that fast just because he wanted to knock her out instantly?

Meira was beside herself with worry, and all Jake could do was assure her that Izil was technically fine. It wasn’t like she was in any danger from the toxin, and as a D-grade, she didn’t have to drink or eat. Jake had, on the third day, turned to Villy despite really not wanting to because he knew what was coming. He had chosen to do so during a time when Meira was out and attending a lesson in case the Viper decided to do exactly what he did next.

The very second Jake tried to contact the god, Villy popped into his living room like he had been waiting. “Finally, you come crawling! Fucked up a bit, now have we?”

“Yeah yeah…” Jake muttered, having already accepted the incoming mockery. “I messed up and now must ask my honored Patron for any advice on how to fix it. I considering infusing her with more poison to counteract it, but that just seems like a bad idea.”

“Definitely something you should only do if you have confidence in your abilities and full knowledge of both poisons. So yeah, that is totally out of the question, considering your recent track record,” Villy smirked.

Jake sighed again as he tried to briefly change the topic. “How did it go with those two?”

Villy knew what he was talking about and shrugged. “Viridia handled it. She made some smoke and mirrors, sent some fake messages, and reported to the family that the scalekin was from that she died during a mission. She then gave them some compensation and what is essentially an entrance ticket to the academy for any youngster they want to send here.”

“Are you sure there won’t still be trouble down the line? I can’t see them not investigate and raise a ruckus if they find something amiss,” Jake said, a little worried. Mainly for Meira as she had interacted with them for a long time, and he feared that they would approach her to investigate.

“I think you severely overestimate how much these factions actually care about some D-grade dying. Even if they suspect something is amiss, they won’t do anything about it. The only reason large families like that would make it an issue was if they felt slighted or to save face. What you did is quite the opposite, and one of their members dying for the Order only reflects well on them. In fact, I have a feeling they will gladly play into the story and make use of it,” Villy explained. “While the bond between parent and child may seem strong to you as a human from a newly initiated universe, it matters little to most who reach high levels of strength. I guess you cannot fault them, as when you outlive your child number one hundred, it gets hard to care for each one individually, and you begin to view them more as assets than people. It is only if they prove themselves and become strong that the parents will begin to actually care. Well, that, or have talent making them worthy of recognition.”

Jake frowned as he heard this. It was hard to grasp parents not caring for their kids at all. Okay, maybe they did care a little, but still. Maybe it was just his pre-system mindset and his relatively young age that made him think that. For someone that had lived for tens of thousands of years and had hundreds of children, perhaps it was just a natural reaction to seeing your children die to begin caring less. A defense mechanism, perhaps.

“Ah, but I do want to note how funny it is that you go so far to hide your identity as my Chosen and yet freely and happily make use of the benefits it offers,” Villy teased.

“Well, I wouldn’t want to hide it if it didn’t come with my life turning into a damn circus of clowns wanting to suck me off. I never hid on Earth that I am your Chosen and happily answered anyone who asked because people there didn’t have the insane reaction to it everyone has here. Believe it or not, I am not embarrassed to have that True Blessing,” Jake smirked in response.

Villy smiled for a moment before he shook his head and looked at Izil, who was sleeping on the sofa. “Alright, let’s get on with the topic on hand. If you want to wake up that elf, you have a few obvious choices. Here, let me play teacher a bit: what are your options from your limited point of view?”

Jake had already been ruminating on the topic for the last three days and, of course, had a few ideas. “With my newly upgraded Touch of the Malefic Viper, I can try to control the poison and extract it from her by isolating it somehow. I could also try to make an antidote that directly targets the energy of the ethtoxin to make it go away faster. Lastly, I considered making a toxin and then controlling that poison to wake her up by attacking her soul to get a response.”

The snake god listened on as he nodded. “All very good solutions, except for the fact that the poison has entered and been integrated with her soul, making it far harder for you to do anything with it.”

“Exactly,” Jake agreed, having already figured that out. Usually, a poison would operate within the Soulshape and physical body of a target, but this poison had entered a deeper layer of Izil’s soul, and Jake couldn’t truly detect or feel it anymore. He only vaguely got a sense of how much there was remaining from Sense of the Malefic Viper. And even that was only because he had made it and thus had a far easier time sensing it.

“So, you are all out of ideas that you fear won’t end up causing more harm than good?” Villy asked.

“More or less,” Jake said with resignation.

“Alright… Jake, I must admit, for a simpleton that usually does the simplest shit to solve a problem, you have really gone above and beyond yourself this time,” the Viper said as he failed to hold back a laugh. “Tell me, what does the poison you injected do?”

“It soothes the mind and makes one relax,” Jake answered.

“Okay. So what would be the best kind of antidote to that?” the snake god asked leadingly.

“Something that un-soothes the mind and makes you unable to relax?” Jake asked, a bit confused before it finally clicked.

“Oh… fuck me,” Jake muttered as he face-palmed. “You are never going to let me live this down, are you?”

“No. No, I am not, oh my dear Chosen. So, what is the complex solution to this absolute mind-bender of a conundrum?” Villy asked with a massive grin.

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“A slap or a solid shake…” Jake said, embarrassed.

“What is that? Oh, I think if you yelled loud enough or splashed some cold water on her, it could work too,” the Viper laughed as Jake wanted to crawl into a hole.

He had not put her into a coma… she was just fucking asleep. A long sleep, sure, but any external stimuli should wake her up in a jiffy the moment her soul had finished absorbing all the poison. He had essentially only “knocked her out” for ten minutes, with the rest just being her sleeping.

“Okay, change of topic. When do you think Meira is ready to apply and become an official member of the Order?” Jake asked, desperately not wanting to talk about his fuck-up anymore than necessary.

Villy, in his infinite mercy, agreed and answered with a shrug. “I am not really following her progress as I quite frankly don’t care, but I am sure Duskleaf knows. However, chances are, she could join on her own merits by now. The only real thing standing in her way is her mindset and absolute co-dependency on others.”

“I thought you didn’t care to know about her?” Jake asked.

“I don’t, and yet I know that. But enough about her, you should get back to work and actually get some levels under your belt and upgrade some of those skills. Chop, chop, I didn’t give you infinite Academy Credits and an entire Academy to play around with for you to waste time on sleeping elves and petty drama between D-grades,” Villy said, his voice quite a bit more serious than usual.

Jake frowned a bit at the sudden sense of urgency. “Is there something coming up?”

Villy just smiled. “You are in a newly integrated universe… there is always something coming up. Now get moving, and good luck. I still got that ale ready for next time when you aren’t so preoccupied.”

“So, a sense of urgency, but I still have time to drink with you?” Jake asked jokingly just before Villy left.

“Naturally. Being my drinking buddy is an absolutely essential task as my Chosen,” the Viper said before waving. “Bye!”

With that, he was gone, and Jake was left alone with Izil in the room.

“Gotta make up a bullshit story for Meira,” Jake muttered. He was not going to tell her that Izil had been sleeping for three days just because no one had bothered to wake her up.

Jake waited for Meira to come home before he woke up Izil, feeding her some bullshit story that he had found a solution and eliminated all the toxins. Once she was awake, Izil looked confused around before going into a flurry of questions.

A lot of lying, deceit, and convincing later, and Izil left. She definitely knew the story they had fed her was false, but at some point, she had just stopped questioning them and accepted their horrible tale. He had tried to go with the official version that the Order had made and said that he had knocked her out as he revealed who his backer was and wanted to keep it under wraps, and after a heated discussion, Utmal and Nella left.

They had then promptly accepted a mission, done it super quickly, but died in the process within just a few days. Yeah, the more Jake thought about it, the more clear it became that the story was absolute crap, and everyone knew it. Jake didn’t think Izil knew he was the Chosen, but she definitely knew something was way, way off. Enough wrong for her to stop probing.

“Do you think Izil and I can still be friends?” Meira had asked after the other elf had left.

“I don’t see why not,” Jake answered truthfully. “Just always be a little less trustful of others, okay? Even Izil. Be on the lookout for her probing for information and maybe even call her out on it if she asks. At some point, me being the Chosen will be revealed to everyone, and I am sure she will understand why you chose to hide it then.”

Meira didn’t seem entirely sure about it but still nodded and thanked Jake for his help. Over the last three days, Jake had noticed some subtle but very welcome changes in Meira. Firstly, she used “you” way more when addressing Jake than before. She also came and asked for stuff at times and didn’t seem to try and hide away most of the time when Jake was around. While he wouldn’t say she appeared confident, she was at least a little less timid. Still super timid overall, but baby steps and all that.

The following days were thankfully without any distractions or blowback for anything that had happened recently. He didn’t hear anything from Irin, and all he heard from Reika was an update that Bastilla was still freaked out but way calmer. Draskil had chosen to leave on a solo mission not long after they returned from the dungeon and would likely be gone for the foreseeable future.

This allowed Jake to once more focus on what he had come to the Order to do: alchemy. Alchemy and improving his profession skills. Jake quickly fell into a schedule that consisted of research, crafting, practicing skills, going to lessons, and having the occasional resistance training session with Meira, often if not always coupled with Duskleaf teaching him about formations. On top of that, he had a certain simulacrum to deal with whenever he meditated.

It was understandable if one viewed this as overwhelming, but one had to remember that Jake had all twenty-four hours every day. He never slept or rested and just kept working. If he ever got tired out from a certain task, he would simply switch to something else. Slight headache from reading hard-to-understand tomes or just returned from a lesson about improving sensory skills aimed at a level far above D-grade? Do some mindless crafting. Low on resources from mindless crafting? Work on improving skills. Lack of violence? Go train with sim-Jake and fight a chimera.

Like this, days turned to weeks as weeks soon turned into months. There was little change in what he did, but the sheer scope of tasks made things never seem samey, and he always had something interesting to pursue. Halfway between the second and the third month of this particular session, there was one shake-up of the usual schedule. One Jake had been waiting for and looking forward to.

The final skill selection for his profession in D-grade.

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