Chapter 10: 10 – During the Night

Lawrence had long since fallen asleep, but no matter how much I tossed and turned, rest would not come to me.

I kept thinking about how soft his skin felt under joy fingertips. I kept worrying that he'd noticed that my touch lingered too long when I was cleaning his wound.

And worst of all, I kept thinking about how he'd taken that attack to protect me. 

From where he'd stood at the campsite. He would have been able to strike the monster's neck. But that would have meant that his claws would have hit me instead. I couldn't move back then. I could still hardly move now. 

I no longer had any doubts about the state of my broken ribs, but I was afraid to look under my tunic to confirm it. I was afraid Lawrence wouldn't let me stay if he knew that I was no longer useful. Although now, a new layer of worries added on top that  because I was also afraid that he'd find out my feelings towards him.

It had started when I jumped from that wall and he'd caught me. It was something- something not even my ex-lower, Augustin, would have done for me. And Lawrence had been nothing but kind to me, which made it hard to contain my emotions.

It was as if he trusted me. And, considering that he let me bandage his wound, I believe he did. 

My thought wondered back to his partially naked body. I could feel his muscles under his skin when I was cleaning the wound. And those scars, I could have never imagined a noble having so many. He was right though, they had healed really well. I wouldn't have noticed them, had I not payed such close attention to him.

I wondered what he did to make his skin so soft. Maybe some sort of lotion or special cream. I wondered why he did it; for some high society girl perhaps, someone to who he could reveal his whole body, and expect the same in return.

I covered my blushing face with my hands. I couldn't let my thoughts go down that hole.

No, I couldn't think about what it would feel to run my hand though his hair, and how his hands would feel if they brushed gently against my face, and traveled slowly down my neck, my chest, and -

No.

I covered my face with a pillow, and pressed it as hard as I could against my face, in an attempt to calm down.

I really could not allow such thoughts. As attractive as Lawrence might have been, I was too far beneath him both in terms of appearance and social status, to even dare to think that he would agree to date me one day.

It had been a miracle that Augustin had accepted me into his life, and miracles like that didn't happen twice. 

It was with those somewhat forced thouhgts to my life before prison, that i fianlly drifted to sleep. But in my dreams it was no longer the broad, dark frame of Adrian that I saw sharing my house and my life, but that of my 'elegantly dishevled' travel companion.

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