Chapter 9: Arc II – Chapter 9 – Fun And Games

Chapter 9 - Fun and Games

I do not know how long I was unconscious. I have no way of measuring that. When I finally did awaken, however, it was with no small measure of confusion.

I do not know if I had been dreaming, either. One moment, I knew nothing, and the next, I was simply aware. It was like a switch flipped in my brain, and my eyes flew open. Then the pain registered. My arms were scraped raw and dully throbbed, and my head was pounding at a steady, slow pulse. Adding to my confusion, I could not see anything at all. Everything was in pitch darkness.

“Am I dead?” I whispered. My voice echoed faintly. I did not feel dead. Not that I would know the difference.

Experimentally, I felt around me with my hands. I was lying on a cool and hard surface with a sandy texture. Or perhaps the floor was just dirty. Groaning as I sat up, I began feeling along the floor to try and find an edge to… whatever this was… or really anything at all. What I found was a body.

Instinctively, I jerked back. “Who’s there?” I whispered again. Nothing, save my own echo, answered me.

After a moment, nervously sitting in the silence, I crept forward again. Finding the body once more, I felt around until I found its face. Blindly groping at its features, I took stock of what I was sensing, “Crooked nose, diagonal scar across the face, long pointed ears, peach fuzz up top…” I grinned with relief, “Jax.” He was still warm. Anxiously, I felt for a pulse, “Still alive. Good good.”

Lightly, I began slapping at his face, “Wake up, buddy. Come on, wake up. I need you, man.” Jax was out like a light. I looked around in total confusion. This did not make any sense at all. Had I not just been swallowed by a giant frog in the middle of a forest? Where was I? The frog’s stomach?

Abandoning Jax for the moment, I began following the floor again to investigate our situation. The floor was cool and dry just as the air I had been breathing. That certainly did not track with any frog’s stomach that I could imagine. Even one the size of a kaiju. My fingers soon met with the hard surface of a jagged wall. It felt like stone. Standing up, I began to slowly trace my way along. Soon enough, I determined that I was in an oubliette of some kind. No doors, no windows, just a hole for forgotten people. Fighting back panic, I reached toward the ceiling, hoping I might be able to crawl my way out. My fingers did not reach anything, however.

“Shit. Now what?” I uttered in frustration.

Just then, a sound like a small landslide started to reverberate in the small chamber and a pinprick of light appeared emanating from a tiny hole. It slowly widened in nonconcentric, jagged edges in an effect, becoming more apparent as more light was introduced, rather similar to clay-like gnomes opening a passage for the Gnome King. Once the rock was finished rearranging itself, a softly gleaming blue crystal about the height of an average man and cut into a luminous marquise slowly floated itself into our room. It hovered there, gently turning for a moment, before settling into a slot, I only now noticed, that looked made just for that purpose. With a soft click it stopped and waited, patiently glowing.

I wanted to say something clever or witty. Something to express my feelings of amazement mixed with overwhelming and debilitating confusion. Something that could perfectly convey that well known idiom ‘fish-out-of-water’ or maybe ‘not-in-Kansas-anymore’. Instead, all that came out of my mouth was, “A’ight.”

Edging around the large crystal, I decided to investigate the new doorway. It seemed to open into an adjoining hallway of some kind which extended to the left and right. Small crystals were mounted to the wall in periodic increments, emanating a soft blue light not unlike the crystal behind me. However, when I went to poke my head out to see if anything dangerous might be about, my face was met with a transparent wall of some kind.

“A forcefield?” I wondered aloud. Tapping at it, it was evident that there was indeed some physical yet invisible object blocking me. It was like a perfect pane of glass, yet my fingers did not leave behind imprints from the natural oils on my skin. And that crystal had passed right through it. Or the field had appeared after it entered. Either way, there was some chicanery afoot.

Turning around, I faced the glowing immobile intruder. Resting in its slot, it came up to about the height of my chest, yet it was thin enough that if I were to wrap my hands around it, my fingers would just touch. Of course, I could palm a basketball… if it were a little flat. An old roommate of mine once referred to me as ‘the missing link’ — an appellation I disagreed with completely. I was in no way hairy enough.

Squatting down, I closely examined the facets of this huge and beautiful gem. Its cut was extremely intricate. Whatever light source was embedded in its center would not have needed to be very powerful. The angles refracted the light quite nicely into lovely patterns all around the room.

“Well now, what am I supposed to do with you?” I asked, experimentally tapping at it with a fingernail.

“Oh.” I said, unintelligently. Then I added, “Shit.”

“Jax!” I gave the man a rough shake, “Come on, man. We’ve got a situation here. Wake up!”

Jax's eyes snapped open and he gasped, “Ma—”. Then he turned his head started coughing. I helpfully thumped his back for him. “What happened? Where we be?”

“Well… I’ve got good news and bad news.”

I helped Jax sit up, and immediately, his eyes lazered to the crystal sitting in the middle of the room. “I think I may have a hunch… but go on.”

Encouraged, I continued, “The good news is that we don’t seem to be in a giant frog’s stomach…”

“Dungeon Mouth,” Jax interrupted.

I paused. “Ah, then you seem to have guessed the bad news.”

As I pulled him to his feet, he clutched at his side. The ‘frog’ had been none too gentle. “Perhaps, you should elaborate.”

He did not say anything for a bit, his attention too focused on the mesmerizing light patterns refracting from the crystal. “I’ve heard tell o’ this.” He looked at me, “In the tales, ya know. True Seekers be rare things, but they do exist. Word gets ‘round. Most who get sucked into this place be like us lot. Unfortunate souls what were at the wrong place at the wrong time.”

I waited, my hands at my hips.

He continued, “That frog were a Dungeon Mouth. I guess it were hungry.”

“And a Dungeon Mouth? What exactly is that?”

He stood assembling his thoughts for a moment and then said, “The Dungeon exists… well, I dunno why. But the Words are a part of it. And they be here. Only ever here. And the Mouths, well… each Mouth leads to the Dungeon. But never the same. That’s what they tells yer, anyways.”

“What do you mean ‘never the same’?”

“Like I said. It’s always different, the Dungeon be,” he said shrugging.

“And the Words? What are they for?”

He shook his head, “Dunno. Not really. But the legends say that if you find ‘em all, you’d be a god. Or like one, near enough.”

“Okay.” I frowned, “So, wait. These Dungeon Mouths… are entrances to the Dungeon?”

He nodded once.

“And they’re all huge frogs?” I asked incredulously.

“Nay. All different. But one and all, they be behemoths. Vast things. Sometimes whole villages at once, they swallow into this place,” he expounded.

“So… Okay, maybe I’m not following, but… why? They clearly don’t eat people if they all end up here.”

Jax sighed, “I were a bandit, mate. Left to the forest since scare ten years to me name. And afore that, an urchin proper. Don’t be askin’ me the why’s o’ things.”

I scowled briefly at that. It continually frustrated me that so much of what I needed to know was simply absent from my companion’s head. Then again, I realized I could not really fault him for it. After all, I knew of plenty of people who probably could not name the proper order of the planets, or even for that matter, list their names. Heck, I had seen people on television who were unable to point to and name a single country on an unlabeled map. That included, I might add, the very country they themselves were living in. So, I just had to be happy with what Jax did know.

“Alright, Jax. Alright. But… you said it was hungry?”

He shrugged, “Maybe. All I do know is they ain’t always runnin’ about eatin’ people. Sometimes they hide themselves or sommat.” He spat, “An’ just me luck. Here I’s finally free o’ the Lawmaiden’s clutches and a flamin’ Mouth wakes up to swallow me ownself.”

Something niggled at me, “Do you think they might be related?”

“Related?” his eyebrows rose. He clutched at my arm, “You do nay think She be throwin’ me to a Mouth in revenge, do yer? And yerself besides?”

I grimaced. If this ‘Lawmaiden’ was anything like some of the stories from the old dead religions of Earth, I would not put it past her. “I’m sure it’s fine,” I lied.

Sighing, I looked back toward the crystal. “So, what do we do now? How do we get out of here?”

“I keep tellin’ yer, Donum. I do nay know. Per’aps, after we finds one o’ them Words, she’ll spit us out?” he guessed. Then jerking his chin at the crystal, he asked, “An’ what about this big hunk o’ glorious rock? What be it’s tale?”

I shrugged helplessly, “It just floated in and sat itself there. When I touched it, I got a message through my… from the Lady of Power.”

At my words, Jax reached out to touch the thing himself. He sat listening for moment before saying, “She be talkin’ funny like. More so than normal.”

I nodded, “I noticed. Very old and very formal.” Then, I briefly described the barrier I had found at the door.

“How do we get out, then?”

“Maybe this crystal will tell us? It came through before,” I said, speculating. So saying, I touched the crystal again and asked, “How do we leave this place?”

“Riddles,” Jax spat. “Of course, they be riddles.”

“Find the Path, huh?” I stood. Walking to the doorway, the ‘glass’, or whatever it was, was still in place. I did not know exactly what the solution was, but I had played enough Dungeons and Dragons in my day to know where to start. “Jax, see if you can find… I don’t know. A secret latch or a button or something?”

Between us, we split the room into two, poking, pulling and prodding at every nook and cranny we could find. When that did not turn up anything, we went over each other’s area just in case we had missed something. Finally, just as I was about to give up, I found a tiny notch just within reach on the right side of the door. Slipping my finger inside, I found a little bump, perhaps the size of a wart, that gave way when I pressed it. As soon as I did, we both felt the air stir on our skin.

“Did ye find something, lad?”

I nodded. “Yeah, up there,” I pointed up at the the little hole. It was just high enough that Jax would not have been able to get to it.

Nervously, we both poked our heads out into the hallway. Quickly looking down both directions, I did not see any monsters lurking about, to my relief.

“Are ye sure ye want to do this, lad?” Jax asked.

“I don’t think we have much choice.” I took a breath considering, “Do you think it might be a good idea to use those Gems of Power we got from the Gobs?”

His brow furrowed before replying, “Do what ye like. I think fer me, I’d quite like to keep that little rock. A memento, like.”

“You won’t be able to keep anything if we die in here,” I argued. We did not have the luxury for sentimentality.

“That Gem ain’t big enough to do any good, anyway.”

I shrugged, “Still… better used than not.”

So saying, I retrieved the little Gem from my inventory and examined it closely. “What am I supposed to do with it?”

Jax was busy keeping watch and did not look at me, “Dunno. Ask the Lady.”

Oh, right.

“Use Gem of Power?” I queried in a low voice.

“She says I have to consume it?” I said aloud.

“What? Like eat it, ya mean?” he returned.

I did not much like the idea of eating rocks, but it was pretty small. Experimentally, I touched my tongue to it and discovered that it had a pleasantly sweet flavor. Not quite like rock sugar, it was almost fruity in an unidentifiable way.

“It tastes kind of nice, actually.” I said, but then a shiver ran down my back as the Gem dissolved on my tongue. Some kind of energy flowed out of it and around my veins before settling somewhere in my gut. The change was almost imperceptible but noticeable nonetheless. Despite that, I did not get any kind of notification about it from the pop-ups. I had to assume that I would need more of them to get a level up, as Jax suggested.

“Well? Ya feel any different?” Jax was looking me over curiously.

“Maybe? It’s hard to say. I felt something.”

He looked at me silently for a long breath and then, stepping into the hallway, he said, “If yer finished faffin’, what say we get started?”

I opted to start with the left hand hallway. It was just an old habit of mine whenever I was gaming. Jax, for his part, had no opinion on the matter, save that he insisted on going first.

“I been talkin’ to the Lady plenty ‘bout me role here an’ what I can do. If’n I die, ye can revive me, she be sayin’. But if you go… well…” he paused significantly, “Not that I want ye to be throwin’ me to the beasties, ya hear?”

“I’ll do my best,” I said doubtfully. “Be on the lookout for traps, though.”

“Traps? Like what?” he asked.

“Oh, you know… the usual things? Pitfalls, tripwire, pressure plates… that kind of thing.” I listed off a few things off the top of my head that were common tropes.

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“I thought you never been here?”

I chuckled, “No… I just… read a lot.”

The hallway was perfectly straight and just wide enough for the both of us to comfortably walk side by side if we wanted to. Nevertheless, I maintained a distance of about four or five paces back for safety sake. Jax had his eyes glued to the ground ahead of him, completely paranoid from my ‘sage advice’. He was lightly tapping the floor ahead of him with a leading foot before putting any weight on it, inching along quite slowly. I, for one, was quite content with the pace. The last thing I wanted was to be dumped into some spiked pit… with snakes maybe. I shuddered.

I had no way of measuring time in this place, the only item that repeated with any regularity were the glowing crystals on either side of the wall. They were spaced out to a distance of about a dozen paces, the light from the last almost dying before being subsumed by the next pair. The hallway continued like that, perfectly straight, for another twenty torch-lengths before it stopped at a simple door.

The door was made of some dark material that I could not identify, and it had no obvious means of entry save for a single crystal which was identical in appearance to the one we had left behind in the room we had awoken in. The only difference was the size, this one being much smaller, only the length of a man’s open palm.

“Now what?” Jax said.

“I’m not sure. I’m guessing, though, that these crystals are the Dungeon’s way of communicating with us.”

“So, what? Touch it?”

I nodded. “Probably. The door will either open or tell us how to open it.” But then I added, “Or kill us.”

“Very reassuring,” he muttered. So saying, he reached forward and lightly tapped the crystal.

“ABBA,” I said automatically.

“What?”

“The rhyme scheme. A-B-B-A. The first line rhymes with the last and the middle two rhyme with each other… although the meter is a little wonky. It’s also the name of… a minstrel troupe from back home… not that that matters,” I trailed off.

“Okay…” he said slowly. “Be that important?”

I cleared my throat, “Probably not. Most likely, we just have to fight something to open the door.”

“Fight what?” he looked around. “I don’t see nothin’ ta fight.”

I shrugged, “I dunno. Probably have to kill a certain mob… er… creature that meets the criteria for the door. From the context, I’d say it should be avoidable.”

Jax nodded slowly, “Right… right. Because it be a chore. Clever.” Looking around one final time, he started the other way down the hall. “Nothin’ here fer now then.”

Smiling grandly, I pointed toward our new destination, calling, “For liberty, Fernando!”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“What do yer think it means?”

We had followed the hallway in the other direction for a short ways, perhaps twice as far as the other passage, and found ourselves in a spacious circular room with a series of steps ringing the outside leading down, rather like a miniature amphitheater. In the center of the room and the bottom of the steps, we had found another of those little crystals mounted on a pedestal.

I looked around the room, taking in the details. Besides the opening we had come through, there were four other pathways evenly spaced around the outside. Directly opposite the entrance was another door, similar in appearance to the other one we had found save that this one was green. In addition, instead of a crystal mounted in the middle, this door had two large indentations set in gold right next to each other. These depressions had no other identifying markings.

I shook my head. “I’m not sure. Clearly, these here are the paths,” I said, pointing around the room. “And that door there has two slots in it. We’ll probably need to find some of those keys to open it. I’m not sure about the rest, though. It seems to contradict itself.”

“It do mention treasure… maybe it’s a Word?” Jax hedged.

I snorted, “We have no way of knowing at this point. All I can think of is that we’re going to need to collect the parts of the puzzle. There has to be more to it, though. Otherwise, why give us this clue?”

We starting looking over the room in more detail. The stone steps leading up to the edge of the room were expertly carved, absolutely perfect in all respects. Like no one had ever even stepped on them before. Each of the four pathways leading out of the room were nicely ringed with chiseled grotesques of various descriptions. Some of the things depicted seemed familiar while others were quite alien, but there did not seem to be any rhyme or reason behind them that I could see. At the top of each passage was an inlay with what I assumed were letters, but they were in a language I had never seen before.

“Jax, do you have any idea what this says?” I asked.

Jax came to stand behind my shoulder and peered at the letters intently before shaking his head. “Nay. Me Dam, er… she what looked after us when I were a lad, tried to teach me my letterin’. Never had the patience fer it.” He jerked his chin at the letters, “I remember enough ta recognize the shape of ‘em, though.”

I sighed, “We’re going to have to fix that if… once we get out of here.” I pointed at the words, “I’ll bet anything that this is what we’re missing.”

“I’m sorry… Donum,” he said remorsefully.

Smirking, I slapped his shoulder, “Hey. I can’t read them either. Don’t feel too bad.”

Rubbing his offended shoulder, Jax muttered, “Do nay condescend ter me, ya fancy poofin’…” Trailing off, he stepped toward one of the openings. Turning back, he said, “Nothin’ else fer it. Come on, yer lordship.”

“What?” I spread my hands to the side, “What’d I say?”

As we walked along the new passage, identical in every respect to the one we had just left behind, Jax finally stopped, exasperated. “I ain’t found nothin’ o’ these traps yer mentioned. Ye be sure it is a thing we need ter worry over?”

“Honestly, I’m not sure of anything. All I can think, though, is that if I were to design a ridiculous dungeon for people to test themselves against, I would put traps in there somewhere.” What was really bothering me, though, was the conspicuous lack of monsters. I had never heard of any dungeon in any game without something jumping out to attack the party at every opportunity. This place was as silent as a crypt. “Just keep alert. Don’t let it lull you into a sense of complacency.”

Jax resumed his steady yet tentative march forward, “Complacency, he says. Here I be, me nerves makin’ me pee-hole twitch, and he talks about complacency…” He continued muttering under his breath for several minutes before finally lapsing into silence. The oppressive gloom of the place seemed to press in after a while. The air was still and cool on the skin. The steady, unchanging light from the crystals periodically passing us was like moving through some kind of nightmarish fever dream of a medical ward. The only sounds to be heard were the light tapping of Jax's foot as he inched forward and my own shuffling steps. This place was getting to me.

Soon enough, though, the passage ended, opening into yet another circular room. This one was a bit smaller than the last and with no steps, but once again there was a simple pedestal in the center of the room with a gem atop it resting on a fancy cushion. This gem seemed to be emanating a somewhat darker blue than all the rest so far, though.

“Hmph. More fancy rocks. This place do have a theme, I’ll give ‘er that.” Jax moved to touch the gem.

“Hold, on! There could be—” and then Jax vanished.

He gave a startled yelp as the floor dropped out from under him, and I heard a tell-tale splash. Rushing forward, I looked down the dark rectangular pit Jax had fallen into. He was just emerging from under the dingy water, coughing and sputtering.

“Are you alright?” I called down.

“I pissed meself,” he said by way of reply.

Chuckling, I said, “Alright, hold on. I think we have a rope in one of the packs.”

“It’s down here.”

My face dropped, “Say that again?”

“I said, the flamin’ thing be in me bag!”

Shit. “Can you toss it up?”

Jax took a deep breath, “Oh, aye! Why don’t I just toss a sodden stack o’ rope up fifteen span while I be treadin’ water! Ye be a bloody genius! Why don’t I just toss ye up me bleedin’ bawbag while I’m at it, ye melted tadger! Yer bum’s out the windy!”

Now… If you were to ask me to translate every single word of what he had just said, exactly, I would be at something of a loss. But I got the gist of it.

“Well, Jax,” I said patiently, “you’ll never get out of there with that kind of attitude.”

“Come down here and get it, then!” he yelled petulantly. “The water’s warm!”

It took us several minutes of, shall we say, colorful debate before I hit on a solution. The mouth of the pit was about an arm’s length from the pedestal in the center of the room which, I discovered, was quite firmly attached. I poked my head over the dark square.

“Jax? Can you tie the end of that rope into a loop?” I asked.

“An’ how am I supposed ter do that while I be in the drink?”

“I don’t know, man! Wedge yourself in the corner or something! I’ve got an idea.” I left him there to figure out his own end of things.

My bag had a strap attached to it to allow a person to sling it over their shoulder for ease of carriage. This I eased out to its fullest length and slipped it over the pedestal. I looked back over at Jax, who was struggling to do what I had asked. His own pack was slung over his neck and floating by his chest with most of the length of rope still inside of it. Meanwhile, he had one hand gripped on a rough patch of the side of the wall while he attempted to tie a knot with one hand and his teeth as an impromptu third appendage. I could hear plenty of muffled cursing through his self-inflicted gag.

“Alright, I’m going to lower my foot down. See if you can loop the rope over it,” I called.

He spat out the finished knot and yelled, “Yer doin’ me nut in, ya jobby boot!”

Ignoring his tirade, I hooked an elbow through the length of strap and slowly extended my leg down the hole. I heard Jax splashing around for a second as he got in position, and then he tossed his loop toward my foot. It missed. “Shite. Can ye get any lower?”

I looked at the poor strap straining with my weight. I had doubts. “Uh… I don’t know if that’s a good idea. Keep trying.”

Jax gathered up the rope again, “Not a good idear he says, meanwhile I’m down here in a festerin’…” He gasped, “Donum! Donum, somethin’ just touched me leg!”

Of course, it did.

“Hurry, then!” I grunted out.

Jax flung the rope as hard as he could, water droplets flinging from its surface as it sailed toward me. It missed my foot by an inch. “I can nay reach it, ya nugget! Lower yer—” then he was jerked under the water.

“Shit! Jax!”

Almost immediately, his head burst back from under the black water, gasping and coughing. “By the merciful Hand o’ Maeve, the great beastie’s toyin’ wit me.” He looked up in panic, “Hurry up, afore I be fillin’ its belly!”

I nodded grimly. “I’m sorry about this, Mr. Strap. Just hang on…” I pleaded with my lifeline. So saying, I dropped my other leg into the hole and extended myself as far as I could go. “Okay, Jax. That’s all I’ve got. Hurry!”

Quickly, Jax twirled the rope for a third toss. I held my breath as it flew wetly through the air. With a shining ray of luck, the rope caught the back of my shoe. Hurriedly, I kicked my foot back and around to catch the thing before it slipped off. “Yes! Now just let me climb—”

Just then, the monster grabbed Jax again. He gripped the rope as hard as he could, which tightened around my ankle like a noose, to keep from being pulled under. Unfortunately, that pulled both me and the unlucky pack strap absolutely taut. “Jax… I can’t…” I grunted. The pack gave an ominous pop.

The monster below gave a frustrated howl from under the water, and a huge tentacle flew up from the black to wrap around Jax's torso. He started screaming incoherently. The pack strap started creaking like a mainmast in a storm surge.

“Jax! Jax!” I yelled. “We’re going to come loose! Hit it with your dagger or something!” He didn’t hear me. He had both hands wrapped and looped around the rope, screaming for all he was worth.

Not knowing what else to do, I groped blindly for the half broken spear still wedged into my belt. My left arm was on fire as it held our combined weight in the crook of my elbow. Gripping the spear, I pulled it around, holding it in front of my face, and closed my eyes. “Maeve,” I said with a trembling breath, “I don’t know if you can hear me. But help us now…”

With the foreign prayer on my lips, I hurled my weapon with all the strength I had in me. It flew straight and true as a comet’s tail, and shucked wetly into the writhing tentacle. The beast squawked in outrage but released Jax as it recovered. As soon as it did, he scurried up the rope and my hanging body, like a ferret up a tree, stepping on my face in the process. Just as his weight was off of me, the tortured strap finally gave way, and for an instant, I was in free fall.

Jax's hand shot out and gripped me by the back of the collar. “I got ya, mate! I got ya!” he yelled. So saying, he hauled on me for all he was worth, and we both struggled to pull my bulk out and over the edge of the pit. As my leg finally escaped over the lip, the rectangular hole sealed itself, like it had never been.

We lay there, gasping for air for a long while, not saying a word.

Finally, I lifted a weakly quivering finger in the air and said, “And that, my dear boy, was what we call a trap!”

Jax said nothing for a moment, just continuing to breath heavily.

“Fuck,” he began, still straining for breath, “you.”

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