Chapter 12: Chapter 12: Haunted Pasts

Dachau concentration camp, 1944.

It was the time of night, dark and cold in the barracks, which were in terrible condition. All the prisoners slept, taking advantage of the few hours in which, they were not suffering and could rest. All except one.

A 20-year-old girl sat there. She was from the Baldornan Army, sent as part of forces to assist the Allied Forces in World War 2. A prisoner of war, captured by German forces during an attack and brought here after seeing her commander be killed brutally in front of her very eyes. She had only been in the army for a year by then. She didn’t know that she would be the highest-ranking official in the ground military of her country many years later, because then, her only concern was to wind up out of this predicament alive.

Her head was shaved, and she was thin and frail. There were scars all over her, from beatings, tortures, and punishments. She didn’t know how she was still surviving, and she didn’t know if she would leave this place. It was torture, and it was as if there was no end in sight. Even if she left, the tattoo on her arm would exist, reminding her of the place. Given that she had spent around a year in the place, she had somewhat resigned to it, learning to live there. She had stopped counting the days.

She didn’t know why she continued to live. She could simply end it, she knew how to. But there was something, a small glimmer of involuntary hope in her heart, which stopped her and led her to keep on living. She learned to take the pain. She learned not to scream when the Kapos would hit her or punish her. She learned not to show any signs of weakness or exhaustion, essentially keeping her head down and doing everything quietly. She learned to stand still during the roll calls, and not feel revulsion when other prisoners were dragged away, dead or alive. She learned how not to shed tears or feel sad when she remembered her parents, her sibling, her boyfriend, or anything related to home.

She learned how to hide her emotions and suppress them, and put up a stoic front.

Today, as she sat, gazing out into the distance, a light shined through the cracks in the barrack walls. It was a white light. She slowly bent and looked through one of the cracks. It was the moon, shining down upon the place. The clouds had just uncovered it, and its light illuminated the dark grounds. There was something about it that made her heart feel better and made her feel lighter.

She found it extremely strange that after everything, simply seeing the moon could make her feel some kind of hope, some kind of emotion. She wished to reach out to it, to allow it to consume her.

Sitting back, she initially chided herself. There was no point in wishing. Wishes never came true, and they only caused disappointment.

But part of her had always held on to the hope. The hope that she would be able to come back home and see Harvey, see her parents, and live. As a free woman, with her head held high. Seeing the moonlight shine through the crack was akin to seeing a glimmer of light in a sky of darkness and despair. It strengthened that part more and increased her hope.

She resolved that she would stay alive. This would not go on forever. It couldn’t. She would try her best to live. If she had to die, it was God’s will. She would die either way. But she knew one thing: she aimed to live. And whenever she had sworn to something, she had done it. She would live.

“General Cartwright?”

She woke up, grabbing the pistol on her bedside and raising it, before realizing it was only Edna. Sighing, she placed it back and ran a hand through her hair. “Sorry about that. It’s sort of a knee-jerk reaction at this point, what with everything that’s gone on.”

Edna nodded understandingly. “I understand. When you called and the phone rang, that was my first reaction.”

The General chuckled. She sat up in the bed, pushing the white sheets down. She was wearing a pair of white pajamas with a black shirt. She picked up the bedside clock and looked at it. It was 5:30 AM, she had slept for around five hours. “What is it?”

“Edith and Riley are returning. They’re just landing in a few minutes.”

She rolled out of the bed. Grabbing the black robe that hung on a hook nearby, she wore it and took her gun. They walked down the hall towards the helipad. As they came out of the building, the wind blew through the General’s hair, messing it around. The helicopter came and landed in front of them. The door opened.

Riley first stepped out and then helped Edith out. Edna gasped as she saw the state she was in. Her head was bandaged, and it covered one eye. Her nose was also bandaged. The head bandage had a lot of blood.

The doctors immediately advanced forward and took her along with them, laying her on the stretcher and taking her to the medical wing. They sped off, leaving the three others standing behind. The General immediately turned to Riley.

“What happened?”

The soldier looked at the superior. She was sweating profusely, and had a few bruises here and there, nothing much.

“We gave the report to the man, and he put it on the front page of the morning edition. While he was doing it, some people came and attacked us. They didn’t see him, though. I ran off behind one of them. The other engaged with the Commander, and he smashed a typewriter on the side of her head. After that he nearly stabbed her, but she stopped him. He broke her nose and nearly smothered her, but she stabbed him. After that, we came back. We should send a few men to guard the Chronicle Headquarters.”

The General nodded. “Tell a few of your Battalion’s soldiers to go down there, on my orders. You got the thing published good and clear?”

“Yes.”

“Good work, Evans. Very good. Now you can go and rest. I hope Commander Garson’s injuries are not very critical?”

“No. She’ll be fine, the nurse said her injuries were not that bad. She was conscious throughout the journey, and she still is.”

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“Fair. You can go.”

Riley nodded. Patting Edna’s shoulder, she left. The General sighed and looked up at the tall building.

“I was looking forward to a nice break after returning from the Civil War. Things never turn out the way we want, do they?”

Edna shook her head. “Doesn’t seem like it. But at least we stand a chance. I’ll fight through this if it means that no other child will have to go through what Aries and Antares went through.”

“That appalls me in a different way. I was in a concentration camp for about a year or so, and it was a terrible experience. In my opinion, making someone live in such a manner is probably the lowest violation of humane integrity one could ever commit. When the place was liberated and I was freed, I felt liberated, like a new person. That happiness didn’t last very long, though, when I returned home and found that my parents were gone. At least I had Harvey though.” Small tears touched her eyes, but she fought them back, refusing to allow them release. She bent her head, hiding any signs of weakness.

“I hope you don’t mind my asking, but what happened to Lieutenant Zeller?”

A lone tear broke through her restrictions. It flowed down her cheek, and she didn’t bother to wipe it. She spoke, her voice thick.

“He was at the Repair Base on the outskirts of Randordam, overseeing the repair of some of the faulty missiles. It was a last-minute thing, for which he had to stay over there. I didn’t want him to. I asked him to come back, but he insisted. He was to come the next day. At the base, he and his men were working on things. The base, it’s not a very secure place. All it has surrounding it is a brick wall and three guards who’re armed with only handguns. And on that day, only one was there, the other two were not. Harvey had been insisting for a very long time that the security there be improved. But that power lay with Buckhoff, who naturally wouldn’t do it.

In the afternoon, the guard saw a lot of dust rising in the distance. It took him long, but he realized that it wasn’t a dust cloud. A mob was running towards the building, armed with all sorts of things. They thought I was there, and they wanted me dead. The police didn’t stop them. The guard tried to stop them, but there was only so much he could do. They killed him, and after breaking the gate, they entered. They threw Molotovs and petrol at the building, setting it on fire. Harvey and his men were stuck inside. The missiles inside were set off due to the fire, blasting not just the building, but all the people who had engaged in the riot as well. Buckhoff covered it up as a malfunction, blaming Harvey for it again. I couldn’t go there, because there was no funeral, as it would trigger public sentiment. His body was never recovered from the wreckage since he’d been so close to the missile. It was only a red mass there, according to what Lieutenant Gorman told me. Nothing else. And my son, Gordon, he’s still there.”

“Why don’t you bring him here?”

The General looked at her. “My son?”

“Yeah. You’ll be able to protect him, and Aries will have someone of her own age to interact with.”

She nodded. “That’s a very good idea. Yes, I think I will do that. He’ll be safe, and I’ll have to rid Harvey’s brother of the burden soon enough, he’s had him long enough.”

“What’s up there now?”

“I don’t know, there’s generally been some kind of coldness there. His brother, Preston, had to keep him all the time. Preston never really warmed up to the boy. He does enough for him, but he doesn’t talk to him or anything. He just raises Gordon and finances him, he’s to consumed in his business to pay any attention to the boy. Harvey is probably the only one who really does know him. I’ve been too consumed with everything to be a good mother to him, yet he does care for me.”

“You can redeem that, you know.”

“It’s unlikely. And now, I’m going to be busier than ever.”

“Once all this is done, you can. If there’s anything I’m taking away from this entire experience, it’s that life is short, and we don’t have time to waste. We’ve got to spend time with the people we love, and we can’t waste it because of other things. We can lose anyone, at any time. Your son loves you.”

“Easier said than done. And truth be told, he’s better off without me. I haven’t done a single thing for him in his entire life. I visit him every now and then. But apart from that? I’ve just kept on going off, risking my life, because I can’t bear to face anything. I need to keep working, keep fighting. At this point, I’m too far in. I can’t back out of it. I can’t live normally. You saw it for yourself, I can’t even sleep at night properly, and whenever I wake up, wherever I go, I always expect danger. It’s part of my life now, and it’s not easy to disassociate from that.” She chuckled. “It’s kind of funny that I’ve faced the worst of atrocities in my life, but I can’t face my own son.”

Edna sighed. These were extremely complex emotions, things she could not really understand. She could only imagine what it was like, and that wasn’t enough. She found it extremely ironic, in a way. The General was viewed as someone who was untouchable, infallible. Someone who never experienced negative emotions, and was stronger than anyone else. Not just by her own people, but by people all across the world. Her intense stare, her stoic expressions, her scarred face, her confident demeanor, her normal yet firm and confident voice, her combat abilities, and her ability to survive anything made her an enigma for them all. However, behind it all, it was a vulnerable person who experienced severe emotions and guilt, and who had been impacted by all she had gone through. She felt that it made her weak. But to Edna, it made her seem even stronger. The General was a human, like all of them. One who had braved many things, and still stood tall as a leader and a force of nature.

The General shook her head, wiped her eyes, and returned to the stoic front she held up. “Anyways, I think I’ll take you up on bringing Gordon here. After that, we’ll go and see if Commander Garson is fine. I’ll also call Bancroft, she should be back by now.” She walked into the building, sighing.

Edna followed, going towards the medical wing.

 

 

 

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