The Return of an Unlikely Hero

Chapter 32: Meal Ticket


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While I was in the beginning stages of deciding on what to draw…

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

I heard someone knock on my door.

Seeing Mary in the process of dusting off the bookshelf, I didn't see a reason for her to go out of her way to open the door, so I said aloud.

"It's open."

"Oh my! You look a hundred times better with your new haircut. You look dashing."

Upon entering my room, Alice, my ever-loving and beautiful sister, said with a smile.

To get a compliment from her, my makeover was worth it.

"You're out quite early?"

I asked slightly surprised. Usually, she and Kari would be out sometime past noon.

"Yeah, dye to the queen arriving this evening, our teacher decided to end class early."

"I see. Where's Kari?"

"She went to get lunch. She's got a hookup with the chef, having her meals ready for her as soon as it's time for lunch. She's quite the glutton."

"Tch, must be nice."

I said slightly jealous. Meals made specifically for you at lunchtime? That's almost like having a personal chef! 

"So, what are you drawing?"

Walking over to my side, Alice asked as she leaned over my shoulder. Her hair let off a slight fragrance.

"I'm drawing a portrait."

With a smile, I took note of her side profile and began drawing. I start with a simple outline and work my magic from there.

"Wait… are you drawing me? From this angle?"

Seeing who it was I was drawing, Alice said surprised. A sweet smile hung loosely on her face.

"Make sure you get my good side."

"Your good side? Every side of you is a good side."

"Quite the silver tongue you got there."

"Heh, I learned it from grandpa… don't worry, I'll draw you even more beautiful than what you are."

With that said, I fully concentrated on sketching, taking glances at her face now and then, both as a reference and because I liked staring at her.

From her cute ears all the way to her pretty lips, she was attractive. I'm a lucky man to be close to her.

"Here you go. A fine portrait for a fine lady. I'll put it on a bigger canvas next time."

After finishing the drawing, I carefully removed the paper from my journal (while not trying to show its contents) and handed it to her.

"That's alright. I don't want a huge picture of me being drawn... This is enough for me, thanks. I'll treasure it forever."

Shaking her head, Alice refused my offer and said with a smile. She was staring at the drawing like it was priceless art.

"A-as long as you like it."

This unexpected reaction caused me to scratch my cheek in embarrassment.

"... Master, am I the third wheel?"

Mary, who seemed a little uncomfortable because of the atmosphere me and Alice were making, asked a little awkwardly.

"Nope. You don't have to be. The more pretty ladies the better …"

Within a heartbeat, I said shamelessly. This brought the entire atmosphere to a halt and I felt an ominous aura emanating from beside me as the arm of my chair slowly got colder and colder. 

But not to worry, I have a plan!

"For my sketches! I can draw a picture of you if you want."

After I said that.

"..."

"..."

The two of them were glaring at me. Acting oblivious, I tilt my head and ask.

"What?"

"...Sigh. Nothing."

Alice said with a sigh, she withdrew her icy aura. As for Mary, she shook her head and said in a voice filled with doubt.

"Master, sometimes I wonder if you're doing this on purpose or not."

"You can say that again. Can I have some tea, Mary?"

"Right away."

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… Did they just cut me out of the conversation? I'm hurt. 

"I'm hungry!"

Suddenly, without even knocking on the door, Kari barged into my room and complained in a loud voice. A little annoyed, I glared at her and said.

"Hey, ever heard of knocking? What if I was changing?"

"Hmph. Like you'd care. You would've kept on changing anyways. Nice haircut by the way."

"Thanks, Mary was the one who cut it. Anyways, who's to say I wouldn't shout at the top of my lungs like a maiden in distress?"

That's what the women in light novels did.

After being involved in a 'lucky pervert' incident with the MC, the maiden would then scream as loud as she can and follow up by slapping the MC so hard that he'd pass out.

Who's to say I couldn't do the same? I got confidence in both my open palm and back hand slaps.

"Heh, If you did, nobody would come rushing here to help. In fact, they'd watch from the sidelines and laugh at you.”

“Y’know, when you keep using my bad reputation as a retort, it kinda takes the fun out of it.”

“Well, I could bring up the time I stabbed you in the ass but I won’t.”

“Of course you won’t, you paid for that didn’t you?”

“...Yes.”

Remembering what happened that time, Kari awkwardly squeezed this out as she glared at me.

Let’s just say, I ate a lot of greens that day and when Kari stabbed me in the ass, an ungodly force came out and unfortunately punched her in the nose. I was embarrassed for quite a while.

“Anyways, what’s this about you being hungry? I thought the chef had your back?”

“He does. It’s just that because the queen and princess are returning in the evening, he and the rest of the kitchen staff have to get food ready for the banquet. There’s supposed to be a party held in celebration of them returning.”

Saying this, Kary flops down on the couch. Mary offers her a cup of tea, and with a quick thanks, she takes the cup of tea, adds a few cubes of sugar in it, and drinks its contents. 

Despite looking and acting like a boy, her tastes are surprisingly womanly.

“Then I don’t see a problem. If there’s a banquet tonight then wait until then. There should be a lot of food considering that most of it will be untouched.”

“True.” 

“Banquets and other official gatherings are usually used to build connections, not to pig out on food and drinks, so the food there should be rarely touched. You know what that means right?”

“”All you can eat buffet!””

We said simultaneously. Ah, this is what they mean when great minds think alike!

“Ah, but I won’t be able to stack my plate as high as I want to. I’ve got to keep my manners around nobles or they’ll look down on me.”

Kari said as she started to look crestfallen. Because heroes are representatives of the government, they can’t act like they want to in public. They got to keep up an image of being heroic and noble, not a food devouring monster. 

It’s good that I’m not a hero!

“Don’t worry. Ask me what food you want and I’ll ‘forcefully’ stack it on your plate. People wouldn’t hold you for eating all the food a low-life freeloader forces on you, right?”

“Marcus! Thank you! You’re my hero!”

“No worries. You can count on me to satisfy your gluttonistic desires!”

Giving her a thumbs up, I said confidently before continuing. 

“Besides, I’m going to be stacking my plate to the fullest. I’m not letting a meal ticket like this go to waste.”

Do you know how bad the food was in prison? While they may have met nutritional requirements, they sure as fuck didn’t meet the tastes, everything was gray, slimy, and unappetizing. The only time food was bearable was when it was Thanksgiving and Christmas. Those small portions of turkey, mashed potatoes, and cornbread went a long way with the prison populace on those days. However, when the holidays passed, it was back to the same old stuff.

Oh, and how could I forget the terrible food experiences I had when I was a hero. Eating bug-infested gruel (where the bugs were surprisingly tasty), eating jerky so tough that it could chip teeth, biting into bland bars of oats that only made your throat dry, hell, I even went days without food. 

Altogether, I spent close to seven years eating nothing but shitty food! 

Seven!  

It was only during these past few months of eating food that was on a level with a Michelin chef that my tongue felt like it was in heaven! And now there’s a banquet? Oh hell yeah!

“Master, your mouth is salivating.”

“Kari, yours too, stop drooling.”

“Oops, sorry.”

“My bad.”

Wiping our mouths, we two gluttons said with a smile. The land of food is only a few hours away!

"By the way, Kari, can I ask you something?"

Opening my journal to a blank page, I grabbed my pencil and asked.

"Sure. What is it?"

"Can you pose for a portrait?"

In order to mask my blatant attempts at flirting, I need to prove to the two girls by side that I seriously wanted to draw beauties!

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