Chapter 45: Rated ‘E’ For Everyone (4)

 

“When the time comes, he’ll give the signal, he says.” 

 

Watching as Master was having the time of his life drinking with the people we are supposed to be fighting, I mumbled under my breath.

 

To say I wasn’t nervous since it’s my first time actually fighting against someone other than master and the others would be a lie but after we’ve been here talking for more than an hour, the nervousness wore off. It started off with some small talk before master steered the conversation towards introducing ourselves.

 

“My name is Miles and this is my party. We’re called ‘Lormin’s Eagles.” Lormin my hometown and eagles if because I want my party to soar as high as an eagle. We’re rank C working on getting our B rank. You guys seemed like some friendly people to know so I asked Darlene to invite you over.”

 

“Hello, I’m Marcus and this is my girlfriend, Mary. We’re both newbie adventurers who started adventuring last month.”

 

He explained with a loving smile as he looked at me. And I couldn’t deny, the moment he said I was his girlfriend, my heart raced a little. But that was before I remembered how much of a perverted scumbag he usually acts, causing my fluttering heart to instantly cool down.

 

“No shit, there I was, trying to fight off this danger beast whilst I was in the shitter…”

 

Master explained with a drunken smile as he leaned on the man named tim. He was telling them a story about the time he had to fight a danger beast whilst using the bathroom.

 

As for whether or not that’s true… I don’t want to find out.

 

Sigh, the more I’m with Master, the more I’m starting to doubt the veracity of the rumors of the time when he was a hero. At first, when he told me he was the hero Mars, I didn’t believe him at first but when I was summoned by the king who then confirmed it and told me to keep it a secret, I was beyond frightened. It took every ounce of my training as a royal maid to act like I wasn’t afraid and tell him I didn’t really care for his identity.

 

After all, from what I was told when I was younger and from what I’ve read, the hero Mars was an evil being who had no qualms in killing people whether it was men, women or children. He’d kill them without batting an eye. 

 

There were people even saying he burned a village down to the ground, leaving no survivors whatsoever. 

 

However, as time went on, I slowly saw the true face of the hero Mars. And I must say, I was quite surprised. It turns out this person, who’s proclaimed as the most evil hero around, is actually a goofy, kind and caring person. 

 

“Talk about being scared? That guy was pissing his pants and calling for his mama!”

 

“Hell yeah, Miles. Cheers!” 

 

Albeit, his actions prove otherwise.

 

“My, your boyfriend is quite the talkative drinker. Isn’t he?”

 

The woman who introduced herself as Lois said. She, like everyone else reeked of alcohol. However she didn’t show any inclination of being drunk.

 

She must be a pro.

 

“Mn, this is actually the first time I’ve seen him get this drunk.”

 

As a matter of fact, he’s so drunk that I’m starting to doubt whether or not he’s going to give me a signal.

 

“Really? Then what about you? I haven’t seen you drink an ounce of ale other than two or three sips. I paid for it, you know?”

 

Lois said with a pout. At this I hurriedly apologized.

 

“S-sorry. It’s my first time drinking…”

 

Who knows what’ll happen if I, a person who never consumed alcohol before, was to get too drunk.

 

“I see… Well, there’s a first time for everything. Ah, there’s something in your hair.”

 

Lois then leans over towards me to grab something out of my hair. While she was doing so, I noticed the other girl who was named Darlene discreetly putting something in my drink.

 

Witnessing this, I glance towards master…

 

“...”

 

On the contrary to his smile, he was looking at me with eyes full of calm. As if he wasn’t drunk in the first place.

 

Placing down his ale, he said casually.

 

“I know this is abrupt but have you heard the rumors?”

 

“Hmm? What rumors?”

 

Miles asked for the rest of the group as they were all puzzled.

 

“Well, apparently, there was a kid who got robbed a couple of hours ago and he put a price on the people who robbed him. Turns out that the homeless kid was actually the son of a prominent noble who wanted to let his son experience the poor life in order to understand what it means to become a noble.”

 

Master then picks up a fork and steals a piece of meat from the table and continues his web of lies. The air around the entire group changes. Other than Lois and Miles who had a cool expression, Bill and Darlene were frozen stiff and looking nervous.

 

“The kid said the perpetrators entered this establishment. You guys wouldn’t happen to know anything about that would you? Because, ten gold coins is a lot and can go a long way towards me and Mary’s honeymoon when we get married. Not to mention, having a possible connection with a noble. So if you have any information on the matter I’d really appreciate it. In fact, I’m willing to split the rewards.”

 

“... Friend, we didn't even know there were rumors about such a thing. So much less information, we can’t even tell you what they looked like.”

 

“I see… Are you a hundred percent sure?”

 

“Yes, I’m absolutely positive. Sorry we couldn’t be much help.

 

Miles said in an apologetic manner as he tried his best to keep calm. He was slowly starting to sweat.

 

“No, no. You guys already helped me enough.”

 

“Eh? What do you mean?”

 

“Actually, we already knew who the guys who stole the money were. We even got their description. That kid has the mind of an elephant, y’know. Sigh, such a shame. I really wanted to end this peacefully by just pickpocketing the money off you but the moment you roofied me and my girlfriend’s drink…”

 

Master then downs the entirety of his ale that was roofied and said coldly.

 

“You fucked up. Now, Mary!”

 

As he said that he grabbed a nearby fork and stabbed Miles’s hand before delivering a punch to Bill. Simultaneously as he did that, I expelled the alcohol from my system, grabbed the stunned Lois by the collar and gave her a ferocious headbutt that was reinforced with magic.

 

The fight has finally started!

 

***

“You son of a bitch! You’re dead!”

 

Pulling the fork from his hand, Miles shouted as he flipped the table and drew his sword.

 

Jumping straight to the killing are we?

 

“I’m down for it. However, because I don’t wanna go to prison, I’ll beat you so close to death that he’ll be your sleep paralysis demon.”

 

“[Enhancement]!”

 

Casting a body enhancement spell on himself, Miles lunges forward to attack me while Bill tries to come at from the side with a dagger. Their teamwork is quite good.

 

However, I’m better. In my eyes, these guys are moving at a snail’s pace and I’m able to see gaps in their defenses. 

 

Therefore… 

 

“Agh!”

 

I went for Bill first. Grabbing a bowl of food that was on a nearby table, I threw it in his eyes before delivering a hard elbow into his jaw, causing blood to be spilled and him to hit and flip over a couple of tables. His dagger flew into the air. 

 

“You’re wide open!”

 

At Miles’s futile attempt at trying to attack me I took the dagger that was about to hit the ground and managed to block his sword. However, if it wasn’t for me coating the dagger’s blade with mana, it’d be sliced through like it was butter. Even now, Miles's blade is slightly embedded into the dagger.

 

Wow, that’s a nice sword Miles’s got. Did he get it from the money he got from adventuring?

 

“Come on man, who’d announce their attack like that? I thought you guys were trying to reach A rank?”

 

I said with a playful smirk while admiring his blade. How much did it cost? 100 gold?

 

“Wha- there’s no way you’re a rookie adventurer. Otherwise, you’d be dead right now.”

 

Miles said as if he couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

 

“...Damn, you really thought of killing me?”

 

“Of course I did. Originally, I would’ve just beaten the shit out of you and called it a day but I thought that since I got people coming after us I’d be able to send a message to the other pursuers to be more cautious when sending people. As for witnesses? Who said money can’t buy silence.”

 

“I see. Are all adventurers ruthless like you?”

 

I guess my little fib worked a little too well.

 

“Hmph! Of course. Adventuring is a cut throat business. Every adventurer you meet is a business rival who’s trying to promote themselves in any way possible. You know how much money A+ rank, S rank adventures make? One job at their level and I could be set for life.”

 

“Hmm, I can’t fault you for that. Money makes the world go around.”

 

I agreed wholeheartedly with his motivation as to why he became an adventurer. Even before I even got summoned here for my first go around, I saw people doing all kinds of things for money. 

 

No matter what world I’m in, the song “C.R.E.A.M.” by the Wu-Tang Clan will always ring true.

 

“But because you actively tried to take advantage of my girlfriend over there and tried to kill me. I’m afraid you won’t be adventuring any more.”

 

I said while pushing off and gaining distance from Miles and focusing my senses on Mary.

 

She was handling the two women fairly well. She pulled the big boobed one who I think is Lois by the hair and sent a knee right into her nose before using the momentum of her knee to lunge over at Darlene and kick her in the chest.

 

I taught her well.

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“Eyes over here!”

 

“Sigh, like I said, aren’t aspiring B-rankers supposed to be quiet when attacking?… But I’ll give you props as a leader on what you were trying to do. Oops.”

 

I said as I dodged Miles’s attack by stepping backwards, conveniently onto Bill’s hand that was attempting to grab my leg. I stomped it with all the force I could muster at my current level and heard an audible *crack* before…

 

“AH! My hand!”

 

Tim screamed at the top of his lungs in pain. He was rolling on the ground as his fingers down to his elbow were bent at irregular angles. 

 

“...”

 

His screams caused the entire inn to take a momentarily pause. Ignoring this disturbing silence, I gave Bill a backwards kick in the head, effectively knocking him out.

 

“If I wanted to, I could’ve made his entire arm explode. But I’m feeling generous so I won’t make him completely cripple. However, that hand of his won’t be as good as it used to be. That’s the fate that’ll await you too.”

 

I explained. The moment I stomped on his hand, I used [Full Burst] on his veins, damaging them beyond repair.

 

Do I feel sorry?

 

Not one bit.

 

“Mary, let’s finish this. I feel like the guards will be here soon.”

 

Getting into a fighting stance again, I urged Mary to hurry this up. My criminal senses are tingling.

 

“Yes, master.”

 

“Alright. Let’s blow this candle shall we?”

 

Not saying any more, I dashed at him at full speed. In order to not get arrested let’s get serious.

 

“Wha- ah!”

 

Before he could react, I already slashed his shoulder tendon, rendering it useless. After that, I mercilessly outstretched the sliced shoulder and delivered a palm strike to his elbow, causing it to go bow outward and bones to protrude. 

 

“Aah!”

 

Fighting through the pain, Miles is fighting through the pain and tries to punch me. I deflected it and stabbed his shoulder where I cut him.

 

Following that, using the dagger that was impaled in his broken and useless arm, I slam him onto the floor and give him a powerful stomp to the chest, resulting in his armor to get dented, the floor of the inn to crack a little and him being unconscious with blood leading from his mouth.

 

To make sure he doesn’t die from suffocation, I kick him over on his side to let the blood pool out of his mouth.

 

Now, if he dies from that it’s his own fault.

 

“Now, let’s take back the gold for the kid. This too, ooh, and that. Hmm, I wonder what Bill got on him? Potion? Sheesh, say less. Hey Mary are you done over…there?”

 

After getting a few good items from the unconscious duo on the floor, I went to ask Mary before being ultimately surprised. 

 

“P-please! Ugh!”

 

STOMP!

 

“Shut up.”

 

Stepping on the head of Lois, whose face was swollen and unrecognizable, Mary said emotionlessly. Darlene was knocked unconscious on the floor with a broken chair over her body. Her head had a nasty gash across it.

 

Thankfully, there’s healing magic in this world. Otherwise that’d leave a nasty scar. 

 

“Ah, you’re finished master?”

 

Smoothly walking my way while erasing blood splatter off her knuckles with magic, Mary asked. Her bloodthirsty image is a huge contrast to what she usually is.

 

…Does she have repressed rage?

 

“Yeah, I’m finished. We got the money so let’s leave.”

 

“Okay. I see you also took Dominc’s sword. And what’s that? A potion?”

 

Seeing the spoils of war, Mary asked as we casually walked out the inn. But that’s not before leaving a generous tip to the innkeeper. That should buy his silence.

 

Sigh, and here I wanted to pick his brain about adventuring. I’ll have to ask Attendant Willis then. 

 

“Looks like we left just in time.”

 

I mumbled as we watched a group of guards run past us towards the inn we were just at.

 

“Indeed. I don’t know what I’d do if I, a royal maid, got arrested.”

 

“It’d be on the front page that’s for sure. Anyways, good job, Mary.”

 

Saying that, I placed my hand on her head.

 

“While I wasn’t necessarily watching you, I kept my senses on you. The way you dodge their attacks and used the environment was a great judgment on your part. I’m proud of you.”

 

“Ehehe! Thank you, master. In fact, I thought it’d be a lot harder.”

 

“Well, that’s because unlike them, you always fought a dude who was practically a one man army. Even if I wasn’t with my party, I can handle a small sized army easily.”

 

Guerilla warfare’s only limit is one’s imagination!

 

 “...That is the most narcissistic thing I ever heard. I bet even the past heroes never boasted as much as you did.”

 

“Haha, I bet the past heroes are disappointed in me. I wasn’t the best hero out there. In fact, I think more people died during my time as a hero than any other time period ever.”

 

I’ve read in a book that historians consider my time as a hero as an ‘era of extreme bloodshed that future generations will remember.’

 

Which is true. 

 

I saw mass graves being made due to overflow of graveyards. Battlefields soaked in so much blood that the soil became burgundy and the air smelled like iron. 

 

“I wouldn’t blame yourself for it though. When you got here all those years ago, the human faction was on its knees and close to being conquered.”

 

“Indeed. It was like being an underdog for a football game.”

 

“A what?”

 

“Don’t worry about it. It’s Earth lingo.”

 

“The disrespect behind those words are astounding.”

 

“Haha, whatever. Come on, let’s find that kid and give him the money back. It’s getting late and I’m tired.”

 

“Roger that.”

 

***

 

It didn’t take long to find him as he was in the area we last saw him in. We gave him the money, said our goodbyes and headed back to the palace with my loot in stow. 

 

Will I see him again?

 

Maybe, maybe not. I’ll leave it up to fate. 

 

“Mary, I appreciate the good time I had today. Thank you.”

 

I expressed my thanks to Mary as we stealthily entered the castle. Well, I say stealthily but it’s just that Attendant Willis told his subordinates who’s a part of a secret organization within the palace to let us in unhindered.

 

I snuck in and out of the castle so much that I think they’re just ignoring me now. 

 

“No problem master. I had a wonderful time.”

 

“Even at the end?”

 

“Especially at the end.”

 

Mary replied flawlessly with a smile.

 

…

 

“You don’t have anger issues do you?”

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“Ah, nothing. Anyways, I’ll see you tomorrow. Good night.”

 

“Good night master.”

 

And with that, we ended what I like to think was a good date until the end there. As for whether or not I should apologize for saying she was my girlfriend, I’m not going to say anything until she does. It could mean I have a chance at actually achieving my harem!

 

***

Author’s Note

• I have come back with the milk for another chapter! Note I haven’t really proofread as I’m getting ready for gunnery and doing college but I felt that there was a need to drop a chapter soon.
• Also, how's the chapter? I haven't did one in a hot minute but I hope I did it some service.

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