Chapter 18: 17. Hunger

Winning the fight felt good. Perhaps I went a little overboard in preparation? I don't know. I really did not like that bear. Despite the renewed energy from slaying Grundle, I feel completely drained. Maxing out the limits of my core was a heavy strain, more than that, the weight of neglect is heavy. 

Struggling to stay on my feet, I hold onto my hammer still embedded in the beast and use dissolve and absorb. New mana rushes through my channels, coalescing in my core. The absorbed power needs to be directed down a path. The paths available are Toughened Hide, Ghost Claws, Roar, Earth Manipulation, or Stomp. Knowledge floods my mind. In my tired state, I hazily intuit the available abilities.

Ghost Claw: Swipe your arms and send out an invisible slashing claw. The claw travels for fifteen feet and will cut through anything that crosses its path.

Earth Shake: Stomp the ground sending out a shockwave up to ten feet away. Shaking ground shakes or knocks any target in the area off balance. 

Earth Manipulation: Use mana to manipulate the earth to your command upon your touch. 

Roar: Emit a loud yell creating fear in all who hear. Targets lose morale to fight and possibly experience paralysis.

Passive Skill: Roar creates an intimidating aura to all who would oppose you. Lesser beings might even be put in a state of fear or caused to flee.

Toughened Hide (Material summon upgrade): User gains the ability to summon toughened hide. Toughened hide is lighter, warmer, more flexible, and more comfortable than all other materials and offers a small amount of protection. 

Again my actual choices are limited. Even if I dismiss my entire army, I still don't have enough mana for earth manipulation. Maybe if it was only minor, I would have enough. Curse my rotten luck. That leaves me with four choices, and I try to be smart about it.

It would be real nice to be able to summon fur. As great as bone and chitin are, they really lack comfort, and it would be great to have the clothing. Still, that could be a waste. There's a chance I will slay another furry creature and can either make some fur clothing or absorb that ability then. Not many animals are going to have the powers Grundle did. 

In the end, I decided to pursue the roar ability. I like the idea of potentially causing an opponent to flee. Maybe I can avoid fighting altogether. That thought was what persuaded me. 

My hands are covered in blood. I don't need more tools for destruction. If anything, I could probably use less. Even if the roar's passive ability isn't enough to get me out of a fight, it still provides some offensive capabilities. Also, if the power can make my voice sound more like Grundles, even if it is only a little, it is worth it. 

Having made my choice, I meditate on the absorbed power and focus on my new skill roar. 

Knowledge rushes through my mind. I can see how my new ability is used. It's simple. I enhance my throat with mana and yell. The ability ranges from three to fifty feet, depending on how much mana I use and the loudness of my voice. Any target within range is inflicted with fear. 

The battlefield now cleaned, I decided to absorb half of my scorpses. More relief comes when they are dissolved, and more mana becomes available. Feeling a bit better, I struggle to get on the back of Alpha. After a little more consideration, direct it towards Lower Forest Camp. Bones and the remaining scorpses follow.

While riding on Alpha, I reflect on the battle. I was really fortunate the scorpses naturally had so many counters to Grundle's attacks. If anyone asks, that's what I was planning all along. Not that anyone will be asking. 

I continued to think about Grundle. The beast had gained a sort of sapience from farming me. I shiver, thinking about what it would have turned into had I not won that fight. 

On the other hand, having defeated the formidable foe, I increased the density of my core and gained a skill. It's like a terrible exploit. Animals kill me and become more powerful. I return to life, kill the animals, and gain even more power. Maybe I would take advantage of this if I didn't hate dying so much. As it is, though, I'd prefer not to experience death for a long time. Dying is the pits.

My trance is broken by the loud sounds of water crashing. After weeks spent in the desert and dying, it is good to be back at camp. Lower Forest Camp is complete with an A-frame hut that I am glad to see still stands. I get off Alpha and order it and the remaining scorpses to guard the camp. Bones is sent to hunt for food. I take a quick trip to the river, wash my face, hands, and hair, then, when the muck is long gone, I take a long, strong drink. At last, the fire in my lungs is extinguished.

I'm grateful to find the hut empty and standing. I thank whatever forces of power that kept it intact while I was gone. Seeing my temporary home drains any desire I have to be productive, and I all but collapse into my home. It feels good not being hunted by a demon bear spawn or baking in the relentless sun. I sleep deeply and peacefully. 

Constant roaring wakes me from my slumber. I'm starving, and my stomach is demanding attention. Hunger has struck me hard. That is all I can think about. 

Exiting my den, I see Bones guarding the hut with Alpha beside him. The other scorpses are nowhere to be seen. 

I know my guardian corpse is old meat by now, yet I still find myself contemplating whether I can eat Alpha or not. There is no way it is safe to eat…Nope, I can't do it. Perhaps I would try it if I wasn't tired of scorpion meat. 

Food being the priority, I get to work. First, I give Bones instructions on plants I want him to harvest. To make things a little easier for his gathering endeavors, I summon a chitin knife and a box for him to use. 

Bones doesn't move. He shakes his head "no" and pulls me completely out of my shack. On the other side of my wall, out of sight from where I was standing, is a fire. Roasting over the fire is deer! All at once, the aroma hits me. How did I not notice this before? My mouth is salivating, and I can't fight hunger anymore. 

I thank Bones wholeheartedly while I fill my mouth with greasy tasty venison. Bones makes a cupping motion with his hands. Initially, I think he is bowing like a proper waiter, and I politely return the gesture to him. He shakes his head "no" again and puts his hand in a cup shape. 

It takes me longer than I would like to admit before I summon my companion a cup which he takes to the river and fills. While I continue to eat and drink, Bones tends to the deer hide, occasionally taking a break to fill my cup with more water. 

I eat until I am more than full. Then I take a quick swim in the river, thoroughly cleaning my entire body, eat and drink some more, and retire to my shack to once again sleep.

There is no telling how long I slept. It's currently light outside, and I feel well-rested. When I step outside, I am surprised that my camp is in such order. 

Between the fire and the river, a tanned deer hide is being stretched and has been tanned. Wooden racks are holding the venison in thick smoke above the fire pit. Cooking inside the fire is a bowl full of forest weeds. Placed on some rocks beside my shelter are dried tendons. It won't be long before the tendons become sinew. 

To top it all off, there is a fish roasting on a stick. I don't know if it is common for the master to fall in love with his minion, but I definitely feel some connections here. Alpha One is still guarding the shack, and there are still no signs of the other scorpses. 

After I eat, Bones and I work together packing up everything except the actual shack and fire pit and prepare to make our way back home to Base Camp. The command to leave is given, causing a great stir around camp. Out of the ground appears the twelves scorpses. We hike fifty feet to the river's edge and stop at the roadblock. There is no way the scorpses are going to be able to cross this. 

Hoping I am wrong, I send one out. Lucky scorpse wades as far as it can, almost crossing a quarter of the river. Now in the thick of the waters, the scorpse is pulled from its legs and swept away. 

"Welp, Dangit. Farewell, scorpse. Thank you for your service. Good luck on your new journey." I make my peace holding my fist up in an honorary salute to the soldier. While at it, I hold my fist up a little longer out of respect to all that have fallen recently— the numbers being many. From the corner of my eye, I glimpse Bones imitating my gesture. 

We could build a bridge and cross. That feels like a lot of work, though, and the river is a good distance wide. The next easiest solution is to walk upstream where the river splits and try to cross there. I get a brilliant idea just as we make it to the confluence. We are going to chain our way across. 

I lead the way linking arms with Bones. Bones is in the claws of Alpha, who is latched on to by a scorpse. That scorpion is latched on by another scorpse. In total, we are fifteen deep in chained fools. 

Wading out into the water, I catch a clean reflection of how foolish I look. That is when I get a better idea. I can create a large bone pole that we can pull the scorpses across with. 

Brilliant. 

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I am just about to summon the pole when I get a better Idea. Why don't I just make a bone raft or bridge? My head shakes several times because of my thoughtlessness. As punishment, I continue with the original chain plan. Bridges are for smart people, and I am not feeling too smart right now. 

We make it across the river as one unit in a timely and dignified fashion. Surely if anyone is watching, they would be impressed. I almost miss Grundle. I bet he would appreciate the excellent team-building exercise we completed. 

That's what I liked about Grundle. The bear seemed happy to be a critic. 

Roadblock out of the way, I hop onto Alpha and ride the rest of the way to camp. Even though it takes longer than walking due to the thick forest, I don't mind. Walking is never the right choice. 

When we make it back to base camp, we spend a few minutes checking the area, ensuring it is safe. Seeing no threats, I order the scorpses to stand guard, and Bones and I continue inspecting the camp. 

Walking over to my fish trap, I am disappointed that it has been destroyed. I know it was wishful thinking, but I was hoping for a fish or two. The trap's state leaves me a little more irritable and somehow hungrier. 

The destruction to the trap is minor, so I take the time to put sticks and rocks back in their rightful place and hope for a bountiful harvest in the future. To make the trap more enticing, I grab a couple tree branches and place them over my corral. The added shade has quickly turned my stick prison into a shady stick paradise. Fish will be dying to get in. 

We inspect my other traps. Most have been triggered but empty. To be expected. Fixing my snares, I notice the trees.

It's silly, really. I'm in the forest and didn't take much time to look at the trees. Most of the time, my observations are lackluster. This tree is big, there are a lot of trees. Sure I paid attention to some trees. The hickory tree is a valuable resource at Base Camp. Maybe it is all the rest I have gotten, but now I see the trees. 

Among the many trees are white pines! I have another food source. 

Quickly I summon a hatchet and begin hacking away at a sizable branch from a white pine tree. This is going to make a huge difference. Bones also motions for an ax, which I quickly summon for him. Between Bones and me, we get a large haul of white pine which we take back to the cave. 

Our cave is still relatively untouched. The worst damage is the destroyed fire pit. That basic bear probably didn't even try to keep my embers glowing. Inconsiderate waste of fur. The meat on it probably was no good with all those unnatural warped muscles. 

And why the multiple heads? At best, it offers minimal evolutionary benefits. That is if you are really loose on what is qualified as benefits. Scare tactics, maybe? I don't know. Just didn't seem tasty to eat a multi-headed humanoid talking bear at the time. It still doesn't.

Bones, without command, starts building a fire while I start working on the white pine bark. Grabbing the branch that I cut down, I'm about to get to work when I get the idea that I do not have to be sitting on the ground. 

Creating a chair takes more effort than I was expecting. The biggest problem is creating something simple, sturdy, and comfortable, comfort being my biggest stumbling block. "Chairsmith, I am not," I say confidently, checking that occupation off the list of things I could have done for a living. 

Focusing on the three criteria for my perfect chair, I get the complete mental image in my mind. Using the image as a guide, my hands flow in the basic shape of the chair while I will the cycling mana to become my furniture. 

Though it takes several tries, I am grateful I no longer sit on rocks. My dwelling is more comfortable than ever. Sitting in my chair, I glimpse Bones still working on the fire. I don't think he cares, but I also create a chair for him. Seeing the extra chair, Bones pulls it over to the fire pit and promptly sits. Operation chair is an astounding success. 

I get back to the main task, harvesting pine bark for food. My chitin knife is sharp, making processing the bark quick. I peel the hard outer bark off to get the edible white bark. This leaves me with a softer, stickier layer, the inner bark. The inner bark is scraped off the branch and falls into a bowl I have summoned. It's not long before I have the entire branch stripped. 

Bones gets the fire going and adds a little fuel creating a nice low burn. He reorganizes the scattered wood in the den. Afterward, he organizes the material he brought from camp, mainly the deer hide, smoked meat, and sinew, which was still packed on Alpha.

When he returns from his tasks, I have one portion of the pine bark roasting in the fire. Blackened chitin dissolved in the heat when I initially experimented with it, so I am still using bone as my material when it comes to cooking. While the bark roasts, I continue stripping the rest of the tender bark, increasing my stockpile. Bones assigns himself a new task and leaves to work on it.

Roasted bark and deer jerky are on the menu for lunch. We will have to do a bit more scavenging for dinner if there is any change to the menu. Maybe my minion is already working on that. Separate from my roasting bark, the larger portion of white pine I continually harvest is placed near the fire to dry out. I can break it down to a flour-type substance when it dries out. 

Already, I am creating recipes that I am going to try with my new food option. Though for now, it will just be cooked dandelion greens mixed with sliced mushrooms with a side of wood chips and variations. As an added bonus, the dried bark should last as a long-term food supply. 

If only I had noticed the trees sooner. Actually, that would have been to my disadvantage. Grundle would have plundered my wood stock like it did all my other—In the middle of my thought, I am hit with an emptiness that guts me. 

My spices! What happened to my spices? They were tucked away in the cave. Surely the bear didn't get to them. "Blasted Bear! I will haunt his spirit 'til the ends of the earth." My heart is racing as I search frantically for my three bone containers. 

When I find the containers still neatly stashed on a natural shelf in the cave, relief floods my body and surrenders my anger. Glad I don't have to learn how to haunt the dead. That was close. More so, I am happy that I don't have to make and wait for some more seasoning. I sprinkle some pine, salt, and onion seasoning on my nearly finished roasting bark to celebrate the small victory. Salt is also added to the deer jerky aiding in its preservation and flavor. 

Lunch is pretty good. Sugar and starch from the bark will go a long way in supplementing my diet. Each wood chip has a sweet, crunchy bite, further enhanced specifically by pine seasoning. The change in texture alone is almost the most delicious thing I've experienced. Food is so much better when you are hungry. Mixing the roasted bark with a few strips of deer jerky produces a satisfying lunch.

Bones returns to the den with a large harvest. So much so that I will have enough greens and mushrooms for tonight and tomorrow. Soup sounds like a good dinner, so I dice the greens and mushrooms and put them in a pot full of water, and place the pot in the fire. Deer jerky is cut and added to the soup. As a finishing touch, I add some salt. Even though I have just eaten, I am excited about my next meal. I might even roast some more pine bark. Oh, that sounds good. I'm doing that for sure.

Fantasies of soup and chips are on my mind as I walk out of my den. I washed recently but still feel pretty gross. I strip down and wade into the pond. 

Refreshing chilly water bites my legs, body, neck, and face. After a moment of brave endurance, my body acclimates to the temperature. I'm able to fully relax in what is now pleasant water. It feels like it has been weeks since I have been able to relax. Thinking about it, it has been weeks. My last relaxation time came when I laid in the desert under a nice shady cloud. 

I scrub the only article of clothing that I have thoroughly. Wunder pants, as I now refer to them. They must have been worth a fortune. All the hiking, fighting, and dying I've done and still no chafing. Not even a tear. Most impressively, they don't smell rotten. Worth every penny. 

Swimming in the pond is more refreshing than I thought it would be. Sometimes it's the small things that make a big difference. The security my scorpses provide while I'm floating on my back and Bones getting stuff done allows me to have a moment of peace. Relaxing water eases my body from the tension it has been holding. My mind is free to drift wherever it wants to.

Thoughts come and go. Time passes, and more thoughts flow through. Thoughts about what needs to be done. Some thoughts are about what has been done. Others thoughts are of what is and some of what can be. Too much freedom. I'm letting my thoughts have too much freedom. 

Despite the peaceful moment, my thoughts are overall of frustrations. Frustration with all the dying I've experienced. Frustration with not knowing why I'm alive. Surprisingly, I'm not frustrated with my lack of memories. No, what I'm most frustrated about is being the victim. I'm tired of being the one to react. Almost everything has been a reaction so far. 

Reacting has been mentally, physically, and spiritually tolling. It's time to change. I need to have more control. 

I will no longer be the prey. I need to become stronger, smarter, and more proactive. 

I need more power. Not just for the sake of power. No, this is so that I can always have a choice. With power comes control. 

For the second time, I am hit with a deep hunger. The type of hunger that consumes your thoughts. This time though, the hunger derives from a need for choice. And this hunger will not be sated easily.

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