Chapter 21: 20. Good

"G'mornin Boss. Hope you don't mind. I started cooking breakfast." Once the sleep wore off, I could smell the mushrooms and dandelions simmering along with some frying fish. One eye slowly opens, and I silently curse the one that doesn't.  

Bones pulls the pan off the fire, not even bothered by the heat, and places the dish right in front of me. It is tasty. Probably tastier than anything that I had cooked prior. "Dang Bones, you whipped up a great breakfast and brought it to my bed."

"Hope you don't mind. I found the fish trapped in your corral after I came up empty from the hunt. I will have to work on my spear slinging, that is for sure. These new arms are going to take a moment to get used to. 

"By the way, there is much more that I could be doing during the nights to help us progress. I figure the faster we get you figured out, the faster we can get me figured out. So it might be a little selfish, but I'm going to take on more tasks. Also, if you don't mind, I'd really like to be part of the afternoon training."

I'm nodding my head along to everything Bones is saying. "Wait a moment. How do you know about all of that stuff? I never mentioned that to you. I don't remember mentioning it to you. Did we talk about this already?"

Bones takes a break from preparing his next dish to respond directly. "You didn't so much share your thoughts with me as they are absorbed into my being upon being recalled. Sort of like an information update."

"Huh." That feels a bit intrusive. Useful? Yes. Intrusive? Very much so. "That seems a bit intrusive."

"Sure does. Be sure to keep any pervy thoughts to yourself. I don't need those kinds of updates. I'm sure you can figure out a way to keep your thoughts safe if you want. Just keep failing until you get it right. Seems to be the way to go."   

Bones is back at the fire, putting a water bowl on to boil. Soup is back on the menu. Nice. Upgrading and binding Bones might have been the best thing I've done so far. I don't even mind his initiative. Shoot, maybe he can take the title of boss. 

"Thanks for the food, Bones. And getting a new batch of soup going. You do good work, so I'm going to give you a promotion. You are now the boss." 

Bones stops focusing on setting the water over the fire and looks at me. "You can't be serious, Boss." His energetic pale eyes are raised in a questioning manner. 

"If the minion becomes boss, what happens to the former boss? Boss of the boss? Or do you take the role of a minion?" He has now formed a goatee from mana and is now running his boney hand through it. "The implications…"

"Thought about it, boss," I say back to Bones as I stand. Brushing the stray sticks and pines off me, I continue with the promotion. "The way I see it is, well, I don't like the title boss. You've already proven to do more than me. Bones is a terrible name, and it would be nice to have an alternative name other than minion. Plus, you seem to have the leadership thing down. Initiative and gumption are what it seems to come down to. Two things you seem to be full of."

The beard stroking has become more intense. Energy flows in and out of his hand. Bones is hanging on my every word. I can see him deep in thought as I walk over to him and place my hand on his shoulder. 

"You can consider me to be the consultant. I'll weigh in on matters that seem like they need my weighing in on. Though I'm going to warn you, there isn't going to be much."

Bones is no longer contemplating the proposal. He's now nodding his head with every word. 

I, less aggressively, nod along with him in a comforting conforming way. "Besides, I've already shown to make bad decisions. It might be nice to let someone else take the lead."

I think I've got Bones convinced when he instantly jerks away and steps back. "Hold up! I'm not going to be the fall guy. You may call me boss only because Bones is getting rather repetitive. And among other talents of mine, I'm a natural-born leader. However, as my advisor, the ultimate responsibility will be placed on you. Failures, not that I foresee any under my leadership, will not be pinned on me."

Through it all, Bones continues to stroke his now thick beard and has begun pacing through the cave. Not for the first time, I question what I've created. "Just wait till I tell my friends about this promotion." He somewhat whispers to himself.

"Let me break it to you, easy Bones, I'm not impressed."

He looks back at me, shrugs, and continues pacing. "As the first order of business, I give you the title of captain. I have no idea what that means or where that places you regarding rank. Not that it matters anyway. Really I just need something to call you, Cap."

I wince at the nickname folly I let myself be placed into. Didn't even see it coming. I momentarily consider creating a new name for myself and then decide not to. Can't undermine the new boss' first order of business. That's just bad for the team. To think the conjuring came from my conjured. At that, I curse internally and have a slight chuckle. 

Bones stops pacing and is now looking out of the cave, standing in what must be his best impression of a heroic stance. Hands at his waist, shoulders squared, chest puffed out, and stance staggered. A boss-like monologue is sure to follow. 

"I said, friends." He draws out the sound of the last syllable, hissing his way into his following sentence. "It is plural meaning many. Excluding the singular you. Why would you be impressed anyway? I'm your creation, and you are giving me the promotion. Of course, you're not impressed. And just because I don't have friends now doesn't mean I won't have friends in the future. Hell, maybe I will get an early start and introduce myself to the buried scorpses." 

Despite his words, Bones doesn't move to leave the cave. Instead, he doubles down on the heroic stance exerting his chest even further. "Most likely, I'll have dozens! And within those dozens, I'll have a very close group of friends." 

Bone's hands are no longer on his hips. They are raised near his heart, and his fingers are fiddling together. He couldn't look more schemey if he tried. "We'll have a secret pact with handshakes, codes, and even code names. I'll probably be Tiger or Viper, but most likely Maverick. That is more of my nature."

"It's that group that I'll tell the tale." Bones abandons his scheming hand motions. One hand calmly relaxes at his side. His other hand forms a tight fist held at his heart. "The ballad of how I, a lowly skeleton, hardly more than a pile of bones, ditched my humble upbringing and quickly rose in ranks—" 

Slowly Bones' fist rises higher and higher. Words spewing nonstop. "—Heroically slaying monsters, serving dishes, and other awesome deeds inevitably landed me in the position of being the boss of bosses. All will swoon to greet me." High in the air, his tight and unshaken fist lingers.

Maybe, I think to myself, mistakes were made.

Dropping his hand, Bones abandons the hero pose and his monologuing. In a little more normal tone and presentation, he speaks once more. "Now, enough of that. There is work to be done. Let's get to it. First things first, you need to go wash your face. It is disgusting. To think you fell asleep with that mess...It's no wonder you were so quick to promote me. Can't even manage basic hygiene."

Oh right. I am still a mess. Should have taken care of that a lot sooner. I take a quick trip to the pond. My face, the part that wasn't hidden behind long dark hair or my thick beard, is a disaster. Across my left eye is a nasty gash with caked-on blood. I can't believe I didn't clean this off sooner. I clean my face and body with a quick dip in the water. 

After my wash, I take precautions to protect the nasty gash. To cover it, I cut a small patch of the hide Bones has been working on and, with the sinew, create a patch. Hopefully, the eye will heal in time. The pain is bearable, hardly even noticeable. 

However, I've already spent time being eyeless before and did not enjoy it. I'm missing out on half of the world. Sure it is the lesser half. I still miss it, though. That reminds me, I should try to figure out Bone's cool energy eyes.  

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For the rest of the morning, we get work around camp done. Deadfall traps are inspected and reset using sticks and stones. They haven't been successful so far, so we make some minor adjustments with the trigger sensitivity. 

At first, sensitivity gives us a challenge. The trick is to get the trigger stick with minimal touch. Having a sensitive trigger makes the traps particularly difficult for Bones, who is still trying to figure out light fingers, leaving me to do most of the work. 

After many failed attempts, I can get the right balance. Setting traps becomes much more manageable, and about halfway through, Bones also gets the hang of it. Together we were a trap-setting machine. Almost no tree or path was safe. 

To add to our traps, our scorpses are reorganized in a better perimeter that we think will be more lucrative in catching prey and providing defense. I am not sure how long my scorpion minions will last. Hopefully, they will remain as long as I have the mana in reserve for them. 

With the trap setting finished, we set out to explore. The main goal is to harvest. There are plenty of white pines throughout the forest. They are going to be a dependable food source. We also find mushrooms, wild onions, and patches of bitterweeds scattered. Though we only take a little from each patch of edible plants we see, we end up with a bountiful harvest.

Our best discovery is a large patch of berries we find on the south side of the pond. Not sure how I missed it before. It could have been the lack of eyes at the time. It was Bones who discovered this patch, after all. 

Juicy berries demand immediate consumption, and the sweet and slightly tart juices fill my mouth when I begin to chew. It is incredible. It takes just about all my willpower to not pick the bushes clean of their berries.

I summon a large box to carry all of our food back to camp. 

"Alright, Cap," Bones says as he grabs one side of the box. "You grab that other side, and we will carry it together." 

I look at Bones incredulously. The box he wants to team lift is definitely a one-man job. 

"Boss, how about you sit this one out. I can carry the box home."

"Nonsense." He replies, still holding his side of the box. "We will bear this burden together. Think of it as a team-building exercise." Even though I grab the other side of the box, he tries to convince me of this idea. "Worst has been done in the name of unity. At least, I imagine. And you know what they say, the team that lifts together stays together." 

"They definitely don't say that. I haven't heard them say it once. They probably have a more sophisticated way of building team unity." I interject as soon as I can, breaking his torrent of words. By now, the box is in the air, and we are carrying the light load back home.

"Sure they do. They say a lot of things. They definitely, at one point in time, said something to the sound of—teamwork is dream work. Meaning, working as a team, team lifting is a way to build unity. And like I said, worse things have been done in the name of unity." 

"See, boss, I am quite sure they would never say that. Nor do I think you interpreted your own saying correctly."

"Not my saying. They say it. Pretty sure I nailed the interpretation too." He quickly responds. By now, we are nearing the pond. Hopefully, Bones will choose the best route that doesn't involve team swimming. 

"That doesn't even make sense." I continue with my thought ignoring his response. "No amount of work, whether it is with your best bud or the prettiest princess in all of the lands, is dreamy. Work is work. On top of that, how can you be so sure there is an actual they? It very well could be the only they, is me, and I never said that. 

"Sure, you could argue Grundle was person-like, to which I would argue, Grundle never cared about the team. Never not once." I toss in the fake double negative on the sly. Maybe that will get him off guard. He for sure is going to make us team swim, but I am not going down without a fight.

"Listen, I didn't want to bring this up because you might be sensitive towards it. The reanimated scorpions and I have been talking..."

"Now I know for a fact you are making this all up. Scorpses can't talk."

"Sure they can. They talk a little bit. They get their pincers snapping, and a choir of chittering can be heard. Maybe they can't speak to you. To me, though, we are basically a family. Created from the same ilk even.

"We shoot the breeze all the time talking in our scorpse code. That's where I got my code talk idea, by the way. You didn't even know you were on the outs. Secret clubs are so cool." Bones adopts a distant look as he speaks.

"How's the dirt? What are your thoughts on not living life?' Many deep discussions have been had between the scorpses and me. Let me tell you, they are not happy you let Alpha go like you did. Not even a good goodbye or anything. Anyhow, we were talking in our secret code talk, reminiscing about better times. Like the time we traversed the wild river together. Sure there was a better way to cross it. However, we held hands, and we braved the wild rapids together. 

"From that point on, we have been nearly inseparable. All the time, they are just clicking their claws and saying stuff like, 

'Hey, remember that time we worked as a team to cross a river.', 'Hand in hand, we worked together.', 'Like a real team. That was dreamy.', and 'Ah, those were the days. Teamwork is dream work.' Really fond of the past, those scorpses." 

Just as Bones finishes speaking, we reach the pond. Bone's looks at me, the pond, and then back at me. "Nah, can't swim. That isn't a practical approach anyway." With that, he leads us to the shallower stream we wade across.

I am not sure if I am disappointed that all my build-up was eventually diverted. I know I don't care if Bones passively tossed shade my way. I do care about the blatant hole in this whole exercise called team building—if we are now respecters of practicality. 

Still, not wanting to experience a team swim with the box in hand and anchor as a partner, I draw attention to the other outlandish claim. "If scorpses can talk, how about you teach me this code of theirs?" I am calling out his bluff. 

"No can do Cap. That is the thing with exclusive clubs. Some people can't be members. That is what makes it exclusive. If it isn't exclusive, what is the point of the club? And if you aren't a member, should you have access to member code talk? 

"That would be a direct violation of the club charter. They would kick me out for sure. Then neither one of us would know what the scorpses are saying. And as boss, I think I should have clear communication with the whole team. If you want to start our own private club without them, I am open to the idea."

Yeah, mistakes have been made, though I can't pinpoint which one was the mistake; leveling up Bones or making him the boss. 

"So don't be a glory hog and accept that this exercise was a great team-building experience. I know I feel more unified."

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