Chapter 7: 6. A Handsome Monkey King

~ Bodhi ~

Bodhi thought they would have to come up with some kind of distraction, but to their delight, there was no need. There were trolls down on the ground floor, interrogating helpless customers. The owner of the establishment was doing his best to pacify the situation. 

Everyone, including Bodhi, watched on like it was some kind of live gangster opera. The monk, however, did not forget why they had come here. They prowled the upper floor of the noodle house on silent feet, waiting for spirits to be looking away before pouring the unsuspecting customers’ unfinished booze in their own personal gourd. 

Rice wine, rice liquor, beer – it mattered not to the monk. It was all going towards the same cause after all.

The squid spirit at the next booth did not detect Bodhi’s presence as the latter gently tipped the former’s wine flask over, delivering the contents into the gourd.

The commotion in the belly of the restaurant intensified. Bodhi craned their neck to see the trolls dragging some spirits out of the kitchen. Bodhi slowed down the thieving and counted three spirits total. One was a pig – Bodhi recoiled at the stench – a deeply cursed pig it would appear; they noticed the leader of the Yingchi Bastards had a girl by the hair. The monk squinted their eyes. No, not a girl, but a well glamoured spider spirit. 

The hog was hauled out and dropped in the center of the floor. The third spirit was deposited beside it. This one was tall, skinny and also wearing glamour. The monk arched an eyebrow.

Oh? What a handsome little monkey king.

Bodhi stashed their gourd away, helped themself to a pitcher of beer, and found a seat at the top of an empty booth. There was nothing more entertaining than a wild sun clone birthing chaos in a crowded noodle house. Especially if it was covered in peach puke like this one.

Bodhi wondered if the monkey had any experience with martial arts. Based on the way he was letting the trolls handle him like a sock puppet, they very much doubted it.

Bodhi groaned. Well now that the damn monkey had passed out, there would definitely be no show. They chugged the rest of the pitcher and hopped down from the booth. 

“Excuse us, monk, but there’s something that you owe us.”

Bodhi (barely) stood before the squid spirit and some other manner of marine essence. A tiger shark perhaps?

Bodhi staggered. Oh, shit.

“Let’s fix this with a wager,” the monk suggested, thankful that their own drunken haze protected them from the caustic gazes of the customers. They only had enough sight to perceive that these spirits enjoyed playing with numbers. 

The tiger shark (who was looking more and more like a hammerhead now) exchanged glances with the squid. 

“We’re listening, monk.”

Bodhi leaned over the side of the wall and made a split assessment of what was happening below. What do you know? The unconscious monkey slumbered while wearing a blissful smirk. A telling development in the noodle house gangster opera.

Bodhi hooked their thumb over the wall. “See that mess of trolls down there? If the monkey cleans it up, you let me go free.”

The aquatic spirits took a look and broke into simultaneous laughter. “Not a chance in Ninth Heaven,” said the squid. “You sure you want to call that bet? Cause if the clone can’t stop the Bastards, we’ll make sure that you’re the next dish on the menu.”

The shark winked. “In other words, we’ll take the last of your Luck and give you a makeover for the road.”

Oh, how clever you two are, Bodhi thought, but kept the damning words to themself.

The monk just gave a humble little bow and said, “We have a deal!”

~

~ Anari ~

The pig’s ability to generate immortal peaches made Anari suspect that she had chanced upon an oddly generous amount of Luck.

That or it’s all coming from the pig.

The pig might have been Lucky, but the sun clone was without a doubt an idiot. He was going to get her killed. Why had she hung around after he had thrown up? What was she thinking?

Well, for one, her powers were weak. Otherwise, she would have transformed into something miniature and stealthily crawled the hell out of there by now. Had she been at full power, she would have poisoned the clone for knocking her over like that.

<Quit overreacting,> the voice of the saboteur protested. The saboteur reminded her that she had been hit with much worse on the job. So the clone’s added weight had not really bothered her.  The monkey was lanky and warm and smelled like old mushu pork. She hadn’t minded that either. 

Anari’s sense kicked in. All the more reason to get the hell out from under this idiot clone. She pushed the saboteur’s contradictory commentary aside. She knew better than to listen to it.

So she couldn’t escape and she was stuck with a hog spirit and a monkey that had no idea what to do with immortal peaches. When the trolls were dragging them all out into the open, it occurred to her that she did not want to see the monkey harmed, despite his overall uselessness in her plan to escape.

There seemed to be a glimmer of hope when the sun clone finally ate the peach, but then, for no apparent reason, he passed out.

An absolute moron, this monkey.

<But a cute moron,> opined the saboteur.

Hush, you.

The trolls laughed at the monkey’s flounder. The leader walked over to Anari and lifted her upright by her braids.

Still chuckling, he said to the fly manager, “It looks like your clone swallowed a spoiled peach.” He nudged the monkey’s limp body with the edge of his foot. “Simian waste.”

The troll spat on the monkey, but the loose phlegm landed inches from his head thanks to an involuntary movement. The troll grunted, but decided that meeting his target was not worth his time. He hauled Anari with him; her mind raced, trying to think of how she could talk or barter her way out of this one.

Her thinking was interrupted by the troll, who had tripped. It took a great deal of effort to catch his fall. Anari was impressed that he had not dropped her. 

The entire restaurant gasped. Anari thought she heard some spirits stifling laughter. The spider looked down and noticed that one of the clone’s legs stuck out at an odd angle, but he was still asleep. 

The floor of the restaurant rumbled under the troll’s growl. The monkey merely yawned, stretched out his limbs and curled back up in a fetal position. 

“Damn monkey!” The troll lifted his leg and drove his heel down on the clone’s ribs. Once again, the spirit rolled away in time. His eyes never opened and his body remained relaxed and curled in slumber. A whimper came from the fly spirit at the sound of the troll’s heel crunching through the wooden floor of his establishment.

After the troll managed to wrench his foot free, he trundled over to a deserted table and slammed Anari down on her back.

“Don’t move, spideress! I have my men watching you.”

The surrounding brothers patted their clubs and fortified their stances to emphasize his warning, but their eyes were all glued to the sleeping clone.

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The leader dropped his own club off with a nearby member. “You! Hold this.”

With free hands, he approached and seized the monkey by his collar. Then he tossed his unconscious body in the opposite direction and roared, “On your feet, you monstrous ape!”

Like a paper kite, the monkey spiraled clumsily across the restaurant, his eyes still closed, his body awkwardly slack. He stumbled until his back hit the table where Anari lay. He flopped over and landed face-up.

Anari studied him closely. What sort of strange devilry was the clone up to?

Quick and quiet, the monkey peeked open an eye and caught her gaze. In a voice built on tricks and mirth, he greeted, “Hey.” 

The monkey closed his eye before Anari had time to even blink. His face was peaceful again, as if that playful little presence had never surfaced.

But then his jaw twitched into the ghost of a smile and Anari heard the words “watch” and “this” right before his body slid away.

Anari sat up to get a full view of the leader of the Yingchi Bastards swinging the monkey around and around by one ankle. Then, sensing that a weight had been lifted, she looked down at her arms. The peaches! They were gone. 

When she looked back up, the monkey was not decorating the back wall in a gooey puddle — no. The trolls, the fly, the pig, every spirit looked on in disbelief as the clone stood atop a round table, radiating a warm, celestial glow. 

His hair had gone from black to the golden brown of his eyes. His glamour had dissolved to reveal his authentic essence. 

Dear Traveler, Anari was not prepared for what was about to happen. You must brace yourself. For once I speak these words, they cannot be unspoken:

 

Behold! Resplendence meets brilliance meets splendor!

Enter the sweet-talking, cloud-walking mind-bender!

 

Tracksuit white, shirt black, too shiny

He enters the world, dripping Nike

A handsome clone, that much is clear

His sideburns flared before each ear

A lazy grin, naked teeth

Proud canines, wildness beneath

 

His eyes glistened gold, they beckoned like treasure

Customers struggled to keep it together

 

Anari, the Spider, suppressed her awe

At the angle and strength of the Monkey's jaw

 

Between two sips, the Monk glanced up

And unimpressed, they downed their cup.

 

Shocked by the state the ape was in, 

The Pig, dear reader, barfed again.

 

Ritsu soaked the moment’s adoration

And with a peachy blush,

an adrenaline rush, 

and a microsecond’s meditation,

He centered on his singular goal 

Of woopin’ ass on every troll!

---

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Congratulations! You just completed the first arc in TRS! I'm still new to Scribblehub and I started posting my story here as well as other sites because I'm in desperate need of fresh feedback. I'm looking for engagement-related feedback. So stuff like: your impressions of the characters, how the story is unfolding, overall reactions. Also. Is it funny???

You've probably realized by now that Sun Ritsu is the primary protagonist, but the other three spirits are a big deal too. If there's a spirit that you connect with the most or find intriguing in some way, please let me know your thoughts. I'm really trying to get a sense in how these characters resonate with readers before going into edits for volume 1.

Lastly, what do you prefer in terms of updating? I am willing to update as much as 4x a week. However, if I do this, the chapters will be denser and broken up by POV. If you like longer episodes like this one with mutliple povs, then 2x a week is a better fit. Please let me know your preferences in the comments. Or you can jump back to the first episode (Prelude: Enter Sun Duza) and fill out the poll that I left at the end of the episode. Thanks again for reading this far! That means a lot!

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