She felt her world spin around her. Then, there was only darkness. The next time she opened her eyes, she was lying on a bed with curtains surrounding her.
She was alone.
She blinked her eyes, adjusting them to the bright light as she recalled what had happened to her. She could tell she was in the hospital by the look, sound, and smell of the antiseptic around her.
But why was she there again? She recalled attending her appointment with the doctor regarding her pregnancy. But how did she end up lying in this bed?
She was still trying to figure it out as she focused her eyes on the people behind the curtains. Everybody seemed busy minding their business until someone entered her tiny cubicle.
“Mike?” She had to close her eyes as she tried to figure out why he was there. Then, it all came crashing down.
The memories pushed through the forefront of her mind. She finally remembered the scene on the lobby floor. She heard something happened to Gerald. But was it real?
“How are you feeling?” Mike asked her as he walked over to the side of her bed. He stood beside her with concern in his eyes.
She looked at him as questions formed inside her head, but she could not seem to voice them out, not wanting them to be true. But staring at his face, her fear only grew.
.....
Quickly, she shifted in the bed, scrambling to stand up. “I am fine. I have to see Gerald.” She told him. She did not want to believe what she had heard unless she saw it with her eyes. It must be a mistake.
“No!” Mike stopped her. “You are not going anywhere.” He placed his hands on her shoulders, preventing her from slipping out of bed.
“Not until you have some rest. You collapsed on the lobby floor and bumped your head on the counter. You sustained a mild concussion.” He explained, making her move her hands on her forehead to feel the bandage plastered on her skin.
“The doctor said you should not be moving around.” He continued to tell her as she finally felt the pain and realized it was the source of her mild dizziness.
“But I need to see Gerald.” She told him as tears welled up in her eyes. The reality was finally sinking in as she stared into his eyes. “Tell me that it is not true.”
She remembered what she heard, but it could be a figment of her imagination. She could be confused by her pregnancy, the hormone imbalance, and everything the doctor said about her condition. She could have made a mistake.
However, the look he gave her almost crashed her heart to pieces. It seemed to confirm her fear. Mike did not even need to tell her in words what he had already expressed on his face.
“No...” She had no other words as the full impact of what she discovered hit her hard. “You are lying.” The denial was evident in her words. “You are mistaken.”
She wanted him to tell her that she was wrong. Her assumptions were incorrect. Gerald was not even here in the first place. She heard a different name, and it was not his.
But the following words he said confirmed her most dreadful fear. “I am sorry, Haley.” He grabbed her hands and squeezed them firmly, allowing the warmth of his skin to transfer into her cold, trembling fingers.
“Sorry for what...” She did not understand. She left him in his apartment last night. What happened afterward?
“How did he...” She could not even finish the question. But she had to know because she could not understand.
She pulled out of his hold and grabbed Mike on his shirt. “How? It just did not make sense.” He was not sick. Was it an accident? Or did someone hurt him? No, not hurt him, but she finally burst into tears as the pain engulfed her.
He pulled her into his body, cradling her into his chest. But it was not enough to appease her. Mike was not Gerald. He was not the man she needed by her side.
Then, the thought that she would never have the chance to see him again. The possibility of them getting back together or at least for him to know their child had died with him.
“Gerald is not dead.” She continued, but Mike kept his mouth shut as he comforted her.
“Tell me that is not true.” She started drumming her fist into his chest, willing him to tell her otherwise. She could not accept it. “You are lying.” She shouted as tears flooded her eyes. “Gerald is not dead.” She kept repeating as she became hysterical.
Then, the hospital staff came charging into her small space, crowding around her. She felt her body push back to the bed as they injected something into her skin.
“No...” She wanted to shout when she realized what was happening, but her mind turned fuzzy as her vision faded until the darkness swallowed her.
She wanted to shout that she had to protect her baby, but nobody heard her. She was afraid they were hurting her unborn child, but she lost consciousness before she could utter anything else.
She had already lost the man that she loved. She could not lose the only thing he left behind that would remind her of the time that they shared. It did not matter what he said and what happened.
She would always believe that he loved her. Their child was a product of love and not just an affair. That what they had was real. She suddenly regretted saying that she did not want him to marry her. Because, in her heart, that was all she ever wanted.
Now, it was too late for her. The man she loved was dead, and she had no way to say all these things to him anymore. She could not turn back the clock.
She would never see him smile again.
She would never talk to him.
She could never tell him how much she loved him.
She had lost him for good.
Did she even want to live without him? She realized the answer had to be a big fat NO.