Her alarm clock went on continuously, but she kept ignoring it, letting the sound enter one ear and exit the other. She knew it was time to wake up. However, she did not want to go to work.
She did not want to be in the same building, let alone in the same room with her sister. Although nothing happened last night, she still felt guilty, as hell, for her unwarranted thoughts.
“Ooohhh!” She hated herself for it as she covered her face with her pillow, muffling her voice. And at the same time, she wished to suppress her mind from wandering elsewhere.
Fortunately, last night, she was the first stop. Her apartment was the closest to the hospital. Therefore, she requested to be the first one out of the car. When David offered to walk her to her door, she shut him down, telling him she could still do it alone. She did not want to spend a minute longer with him.
She remembered her breathing only became normal when she was behind her doors, safely locked inside her apartment. Her heart was pounding ruggedly inside her chest, thinking she was so close to kissing her soon-to-be brother-in-law.
“You’re a fool.” She told herself. “A selfish prick.” She continued, hating that she almost ruined her relationship with him and possibly with her sister. Luckily, she had stopped herself.
But honestly, there was no chance in hell that David would kiss her back. That was the sad part. She knew this. And the entire universe knew this. She was only setting herself to a major heartbreak.
Beep! Beep! Beep!
.....
This time, her phone echoed with her alarm clock, waking her up even though she was already wide awake. But she still disregarded the noise as she tried to clear her mind.
After a while, she decided that it was no use. She was not going back to sleep as she slid out of bed. Nonetheless, she had already decided that going to work was not an option.
She would apply for a sabbatical leave. She believed she needed time and space. But she doubted that would fly with her supervisor. She was just an intern. She had no right. She should not even get sick.
“No, I am not going to work.” She told herself, but she knew that was not an option as she moved toward the bathroom to get ready.
She could be late. That was still forgivable. But not showing up to work was punishable by death, the end of her career. Therefore, she had to move fast before she found herself out of a job.
What she loved about her place was the location. She did not need a car to get to work. It was just a few blocks. Therefore, she took out her bike and pedaled as hard as her feet would take her.
Who needed a car when she could go much faster with a two-wheeled vehicle? A few minutes later, she locked her bike in the parking lot and ran along the lobby toward the locker rooms. She still could catch up with the rounds.
“Where have you been?” Her friend whispered as soon as she stood beside her, panting after running around the hospital, looking for them.
She could see that the other residents had already checked several patients. But the instructor had not seen her yet. She could already picture her face scrunching up, creating havoc of fear.
She could already imagine the scut work she would be doing all day for being late. But it was better than being taken off the program. And it was all because of her stupidity.
“Not now. I will tell you about it later.” She shut her friend up before she attracted unnecessary attention.
She silently followed the rest of the residents, trying to catch up with the topics and the cases before them. Usually, she would stand at the front of the pack, but not today, as she hid behind the back.
“Dr. Sheldon, it is good for you to join us. I hope we are not taking much of your time.” Her superior sarcastically commented as she finally finished her last round without acknowledging her existence.
But, of course, she knew it was intentional. Now, she waited for her judgment and punishment as the boss assigned them their task. As expected, chasing after reports and doing dirty jobs landed on her lap.
She had to do what everyone avoided. Frankly, she thought she would be the first to finish this program without going through this task. She had an excellent record, and the attendees loved her.
But like the rest of them, she also fell through the cracks. Now, she had to pay the price.
“See you later.” She told her friend, slightly disappointed with herself for breaking her record. And, of course, she was not looking forward to her task for the day.
The last thing she wanted was to stare at someone else’s ass, drain pus, draw blood, and run around the hospital, expediting reports. But unfortunately, it was the job.
“I will see you later. But you have to tell me everything.” Her friend said as they went on their separate ways.
She could not help but envy her friend, who was about to witness one of the most complicated surgeries she had been dreaming about for weeks. She was supposed to be part of it. But she forgot about it. Now, she had lost her chance.
“Hey, do you need help?” Suddenly, Roy caught up with her. She thought he already went on his way.
“I sure do, but I think your plate is full, just like mine.” She remarked as she turned to look at her friend.
Luckily, she was good at holding her liquor, or she would still be with a terrible hangover. Although she still felt a little buzz, it was not enough to impair her from her job. A little power nap at break time would easily rejuvenize and energize her back to life.
“I can always help if you need me.” Her friend said as he walked alongside her toward her first station.
But she might have an idea of what her friend was doing. He was trying to make a play after last night. He might think he had a chance with her since she talked about a rebound.
Nevertheless, she would not ruin their friendship by giving her friend false hope that they had a chance because there was none. She would always look at Roy as a friend, maybe a brother, but never as a lover.
“I will call you if I need one.” She told her friend instead. But, of course, she did not intend to do so as she moved along, leaving her friend behind.
She dreamt of sewing people back into good health. It did not include treating wounds that had gangrenes and pus all over them. It was not what she had signed up to do when she said she wanted to be a doctor.
After a couple of hours of scut work, she was ready to quit. She knew she had learned her lesson never to be late ever again or mess up with her future. But, of course, somebody had to do it.
“Done.” She passed the charts back at the nurse station, glad that was over.
But, unfortunately for her, it was just the tip of the iceberg as another set of instructions landed on her hands. This time, it was paperwork. It was worse than removing the yellow liquid from a man’s open wound. Or when she had extracted larvae and worms, feasting on a man’s flesh.
She wanted the day to end, but drinking was not an option this time. She just wanted to go home and knocked herself off to sleep. She wanted a dreamless one where she could sleep like a log.
“Hey, aren’t you taking a lunch break?” Her friend suddenly saw her in the hallway and stopped her.
“I just need to get the results at the radiology. Then, I can take a break.” It sounded easy, but the line was long.
She better put up her charms to get ahead in the line and get the results. Or she would end up waiting for hours before her turn. It was why doctors and nurses did not want to do this job.
Fortunately, she had established a connection inside, giving her an easy pass. In a matter of a few minutes, she had the results in her hand. All she had to do next was to rush it to her attendee, and then she was off for a nice, long break if she was lucky.
But residents seldom were.
“How are you holding up?” Her friend asked, but she did not look sympathetic.
“Not bag, Bernadette. I am great.” She sarcastically answered, knowing her friend knew how she felt since she had done this a few times.
“Welcome to the club.” Her friend laughed, enjoying the hell she was going through.
Then, she could not help but laugh as she realized she was glad to get this punishment. It was the cleansing she needed for the day. It had stopped her from thinking about last night.
It was the perfect distraction from her thoughts.
“I guess I am just human, after all.” She said, realizing that she should not be too hard on herself. She could not be perfect. She could not help but make mistakes. Still, she deserved a chance to correct them.
But a beep on her pager told her she had to rush back inside. Something was wrong, but she was not sure what.
“I have to go.” She said, leaving her friend behind, confused. But not as confused as her.