Chapter 193: Marrying Without Love

"Are you tired, or are you up for some movie?" Dani asked as soon as they entered his apartment.

She did not feel like sleeping yet, not after the day she had with her mother, with his parents, and with Nick. Then, the question that Alex dropped on her like a bomb still lingered in her mind. 

She wondered if she would have an answer about that anytime soon or when the time came. Because her mind still had not changed. She was not ready to get married to anyone, not even Alex.

"A movie sounds nice." Alex removed his jacket and started loosening the first two top buttons of his shirt, trying to make himself a little bit more comfortable. "What about some drinks?" He asked as he moved to his mini bar and grabbed two glasses.

He thought that a glass or two should relax their frail nerves. He knew that he still had to deal with the news that his father told him earlier at breakfast, the wedding that his mother kept on insisting on, and most importantly, he had to deal with Nick.

"Yes, I will only have one glass." She told him. She already had one during dinner, and one more would be too much. She placed the first movie she found on the selection without giving much thought.

Surprisingly, it was a romantic movie about getting married. It was ironic that it was the one thing Dani wished not to think about at the moment. But she guessed the topic was something she could never avoid.

She was about to change the movie, but Alex stopped her. "I like to watch this." He was not a fan of romantic shows, but he was willing to see if it would give him an insight on how to handle their situation.

There was no question that he was very attracted to Dani. Just looking at her, touching her, kissing her was more than enough to drive him crazy about her. But was he ready to marry her after knowing her for just more than a month?

Granted that they had met a year ago, but that was just one night of passion, nothing more. Sleeping with her only confirmed that they were very compatible in bed. Marriage, in his opinion, was more than that.

"Do you believe in love?" She suddenly uttered halfway through the movie, unable to control her curiosity.

They had been silent since they started to watch. Occasionally, both would smile or laugh at particular scenes and then said some remarks about the characters. But most of the time, they kept to themselves.

Out of a sudden, she was not able to keep the question to herself. She wanted to know how Alex viewed the concept of love. It was not as if she was asking him if he loved her.

"I did." He answered her automatically, still keeping his eyes on the screen as the movie kept playing.

He remembered the several times he thought that he was in love but only ended up broken. Well, mostly was just young love that did not mean much. 

Except for the time with Tyra, he knew that he did love her. He was serious about marrying her eventually when he had established himself in his business. But she could not wait for him.

"You don't anymore." She felt suddenly disappointed, but she quickly lowered her face to hide her expression from him. She did not want him to read something and made a wrong conclusion out of it.

Then he also quickly amended his answer. "I think I still do. But." He finally looked at her and stared into her eyes. "I always thought that it was easy to fall in love. Seeing the way my parents expressed their love for each other. It was so effortless."

Then, he was again lost for words, unable to explain to her what he thought of love. Maybe he was scarred by it, or he was just confused on how to interpret it. But for now, he was not sure how to love.

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"But, somehow, you found yourself failing with your expectations." She continued for him. It was the same thing with her. 

She thought by loving someone with your whole heart, and then love will automatically fall into place. The other person would soon feel the same. But she thought wrong.

"Maybe something like that. I know that love exists, and I am capable of love. But to know if it is love that I am feeling or just something else. That is my question." He told her honestly. 

He already stopped believing in love at first sight. Look at where that brought him. But he believed in respect and mutual understanding that might lead to love eventually, but there was no assurance. Everything was still a risk.

"I like you so much. I want to get to know you more, and I want to be with you all the time." He took her hand in his and placed a single kiss on each knuckle.

"Maybe in time, I might fall head over heels, in love with you. But until then, I can't say it because I don't want to lie to you." He knew that opening up to her was the only way to make this relationship work.

"I think we feel the same way." Somehow, instead of getting disappointed, she felt relieved. Knowing that he was not lying to her or using her was more than enough commitment she needed from him.

Promising her the moon and the stars would be a lie that she could not accept. But telling her upfront what he truly felt was better, even if it was not what she liked to hear.

Wait. Did Dani expect him to say that he loved her? Was she ready for that? Dani suddenly tried to shake the thought away. She was not even sure of how she felt about him.

"What do you think about marrying without love?" He had no idea why he was asking her about it, but it was a thought that nagged on his mind.

Once again, she was surprised by the unexpected question. "I don't agree with it, but I knew a few people who had done it because of one reason or another." She felt anxious that he had brought up this topic in their conversation. "What is this all about?"

Was it a prelude to another question that he might ask her? Was she ready to answer that question that she thought might be where he was heading with this?

"Truthfully, I don't know why I am even asking you that question. But I think it had something to do with what my dad told me earlier." He finally admitted to her what exactly was bothering him.

He related to her what his dad discussed with him during breakfast that led him to think of the different possible alternatives. One of them was getting married for real.

"Then, take the other deal that your father is giving you. Maybe if it worked, then you don't have to resort to marriage." She told her, thinking that it was a better choice than forcing the marriage as an option.

But then again, just out the forefront of her consciousness, her mind pestered her about something. Would it be so bad if she ended up marrying Alex? 

Do they have to wait for love to come into the picture before getting married? Or maybe they could let it developed through time while they were already married? Was she seriously considering this?

Marrying without love, was it a death sentence or a chance to start a future with him?

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