Mental and physical torture. That was what this was.
“You are so beautiful.” He whispered in her ears as his lips grazed her skin, creating a fire that both consumed them with a burning desire.
Then, his arms pulled her close to him as they both lay on the grassy lawn, uncaring of the cold breeze that enveloped them. Their bodies entwined was enough to create enough heat to warm them the entire time.
The night sky seemed so bright as her smile radiated on her face. He could probably gaze at her forever and never get tired of looking at her.
“I want you.” She uttered in her low angelic voice, followed by a moan that suggested the urgency of her need. Her eyes mirrored the desire that was also surging in his veins.
He usually did not need to think twice about taking what she was offering. He also wanted her, so what was stopping him from taking advantage of their situation.
He could have her, but it did not seem right as he held himself back, pulling away from her.
.....
“Don’t you want me?” She asked, showing confusion on her face from his hesitation as she peppered him with kisses on his lips and cheeks, not wanting them to stop.
“I do. I want you very much that I feel like I am losing my mind.” He expressed as his lips captured hers, punishing her for making him feel this way.
But when he pulled his lips away from hers, he heard her voice again.
“Then, what is stopping you?” She asked, making him jolt up from his bed almost every morning, sweating, panting, needing to see her, and wanting to be as far away from her as possible at the same time.
It was becoming a recurring dream that haunted him in his sleep. But it seemed it also affected him lately, even when wide awake and in full daylight. He always found himself in a trance.
He tried sleeping with another woman, hoping it would stop his obsession with her. But it failed to stop the visions from coming.
He kept saying it was just the tension of wanting something so badly, knowing he could not have her. But once he had a taste of her, he could finally give it a rest and forget all about it. But a part of his brain doubted it. It insisted that he would want more.
“No, that is not an option.” He could not use her like that. She was not like the girls he had slept with and discarded after. She was different.
Admittedly, he liked her. From the time he had met her, he had seen what kind of person she was. She was not just any girl or a friend of his grandmother. She had become a person he admired and respected.
However, he could not accept that he could settle with her and commit to a relationship either. He still had many things planned out with his life, and marriage was not one of them.
“Aaaggghhh!” He shouted silently in his brain, wanting his thoughts to quiet down. But lately, it was getting harder and harder for him to concentrate without dreaming of her.
Then, every weekend he would drive to visit his grandmother was an agony he had to endure. Every time he saw her, his desire only intensified.
Why could she not leave him alone?
Honestly, Evan knew the answer to that. He just refused to acknowledge it. He was afraid of what he would discover after exploring the possibility that he might want more.
“Again with that face?” David’s voice boomed around his office as he found him by the doorway, looking his way. “I swear that is not the look of someone who had nothing on his mind.”
His partner walked further inside the room and occupied the chair before him. As much as he wished to deny it, he knew his friend would not believe him.
He was drowning in his situation, and he could not figure a way out of it. Maybe talking about it instead of bottling it inside him would release the tension he felt. But he was not the kind of man who loved to share his feelings.
“David, what can I do for you?” He knew his partner also had many things on his plate. For him to visit, he must need something urgent from him. And talking about his personal life was not one of them.
“There is something I wish to discuss with you, but apparently, that can wait for another time. I think you have more pending matters to discuss with me.” David knew him too well. “So, what is it?” Making himself comfortable as he waited for him to spill it out.
He contemplated whether to tell him everything, but where would he start when he was confused about his feelings. How could he admit to something that he still could not accept within himself?
“Let me guess. From the contortion of your face to the droopiness of your eyes. You have not been sleeping.” David made his first assessment which was right on the mark.
He would not be the managing head of this firm if he could not read people quite well. He was one of the people he idolized and was fortunate to do business with since he was honest and a loyal friend.
“Wait.” His friend raised his hand, indicating he had something more to say, stopping him from interrupting. “And it is not because of work.” His eyes narrowed at him, studying him.
“Alas, it could only mean...” David made a drumroll motion with his hand. “It is all about a girl.” Something must have shown in his face, but he was sure not to blink or make any confirmation.
Still, his friend read him like a book.
“I knew it.” His friend shouted in disbelief. “Finally, someone caught your attention. I knew it was just a matter of time. Who is this unlucky lady who captured your elusive heart?”
Evan could only expel a deep breath and shook his head at his friend’s playful act. But could he blame David when everyone knew he was allergic to commitment?
That being with one girl was breaking his number one rule.
“So, who is it.” David persisted, forcing him to tell him a name.
He closed his eyes, hoping that this was not happening to him because, in truth, it was hard to concede to his friend that he might be right.
“Someone from back home. A girl I met recently.” He finally admitted, knowing there was no more use denying it. “I don’t know what is wrong with me. I can’t get her out of my mind.”
Maybe confiding his issues with his friends lifted a ton of bricks on his shoulders. Then, sharing more would help him release the tension in his body.
“Don’t tell me it was just about a very unforgettable mind-blowing sex.” David seriously asked, shaking his head.
How could he blame his friend if he came up with that conclusion? Most of his relationship. No, scratched, that. All of his affairs had been about sex and nothing more.
So, it was no wonder his friend would say that, but the funny thing was. “I had never been close to doing that.” He muttered under his breath.
But David still seemed to hear it as he laughed loudly inside his room. It resonated in his walls as if mocking him, although he knew it was not his intention.
He believed his friend was just surprised. He also would have laughed at himself if he was not under a lot of stress.
“Did I hear it right?” David placed his hand on his ears. “Let me see if I understand this right.”
His friend finally stood up from his seat and paced the floor as if he was analyzing a case. Then, he looked at him as if he was about to question a witness.
“You are saying that you met a girl back home. Now, she would not let you sleep at night or stop thinking about her during your waking hours.” David narrated his summation, pausing as if thinking of his words.
He could see that he was not through with him yet. He seemed to prepare for his closing argument, creating a dramatic effect for the invisible jury in the room.
“Yet you never even slept with her yet.” David stopped before him, planting his hands on the table. “Well, that is interesting.” He tapped his fingers on the table for effect.
“Laugh all you want, but I am serious.” He was not mad at his friend’s theatrics. But he needed answers. “What should I do to get over her?”
Then, his friend finally turned serious again. Gone was the smirk on his face. He was the same old David, who he could count on for solid and reliable advice.
“I will give you the same advice I gave myself when I was in the same situation as you.” He finally turned on his heels and walked towards the door. But he stopped before exiting. “Follow your heart.” Then, he was gone.
He seemed to remember this same scene before. It had something to do with his friend confiding in him about his feelings for Rosella.
Now, it appeared that he was returning the favor. But his advice was the complete opposite of what he said to David. He guessed his friend was a better friend than him.
Evan could only conclude. His friend might have a point.