“Do we have to go?” Jacky could not believe how time flew by in an instant.
She watched her husband move around the room, wide awake and ready to pack their things. He told her that it was time to go home. Was she prepared to return to reality and face the truth?
Honestly, given another choice, she would like to linger for a few more days. Who was she kidding? She wanted to stay forever. But all good things must come to an end.
The vacation was over. It was time to face the music.
Marcus sat beside her on the bed, trying to comfort her, placing his hand on the side of her cheek, gently caressing her like she was porcelain that could easily break. He did not have to say anything, but she understood.
“I wish we do not have to.” She stated what Marcus might say, knowing that he did not want to break her heart, but he also had no choice.
Besides, they have responsibilities not just to themselves but to their friends, the company they work for, and the people depending on their jobs. It would be selfish for them to stay.
.....
It was time to return to her life, not the fantasy she had been living with for weeks. Still, she appreciated what her husband and their friends did for her. She probably needed the break from her reality more than she ever thought.
“We will try to do this more often,” Marcus promised her, but both knew it was a promise that would be hard to keep with the demands of their jobs.
But he believed if he would save their marriage, he had to make time. He had never seen Jacky take a fall like this. It was like she would never recover.
Luckily, she pulled through, well, at least, he hoped she did.
“I like that,” Jacky answered and smiled at her husband. Then, she pulled herself up, planting a short but sweet kiss on his lips before moving out of the bed and into the bathroom.
She had to prepare for their departure. The sooner, the better. Besides, there was nothing much to pack, but it was like she had a lead in her feet as she moved slower than usual.
But on the upside, she would see her friends again. They had been chatting with her almost every day when they were not busy. Next time, she would be face to face with them. Something that she was looking forward to and not.
In truth, she missed them. But at the same time, she also dreaded seeing Dani with her full belly, ready to pop. At least on the phone, she did not have to see her, but in person, she had no idea how she would react to her being pregnant while she was not.
“Don’t worry. Everything will be fine. I will always be here.” Marcus assured her, wrapping her up in his warm embrace as they stepped outside the villa that they had considered their home for the last weeks.
Her therapists said she should let go of her memories, anchoring her from going forward to the future. But she also said it would not be as easy. It would not disappear in a snap of a finger.
She still recommended that she continue counseling until she was back on her feet. Marcus also agreed to go with her if she wanted, supporting her throughout her ordeal.
But the final decision would always be with her because she was the only one who could assess her need. Truthfully, she had no idea what she needed at the moment.
“Shall we go?” Then, she entwined her arms around his. Soon, they were flying back home.
The home that they built when they got married. How did she feel about that? She guessed it was another question she had no answer to yet. But she would know soon enough as she watched the plane soar higher in the clouds.
Was it wrong to imagine her baby floating in the sky, softly cuddled by the white cottony layers around her? She guessed it was so much better compared to the horrors of seeing blood everywhere.
“Are you ok?” Marcus must have noticed her silently watching outside her window. He had dozed off when the plane was steadily flying in a slightly cloudy sky.
But he must have woken up when they eventually bumped into slightly cloudy weather. The plane shook as it experienced turbulence from the strong winds outside.
What was sunny and bright earlier had quickly changed into this gloomy, dark weather that threatened to worsen every second? Then, the captain spoke on the speaker, assuring them that it was nothing to be alarmed about, but they would soon be out of it.
“No,” Jacky answered him honestly, not noticing that her hands were shaking, but she could feel her heart beating faster.
She was getting used to flying, but this was the first time she had been in this situation. It usually helped if she could think of happy thoughts when she was in the air, like earlier when she thought of her baby sleeping in the clouds.
But when the weather gradually changed and horrible thoughts entered her mind again, the beautiful image vanished, replaced by a nightmare. It was like she was reliving it again in her mind, over and over again.
“What is wrong?” Her husband looked at her as concern covered his expression. “Don’t worry. Captain Lewis is a great pilot.” He could see the stress all over her face.
He knew that Jacky was not a particular fan of flying, but he could assure her that they were in safe hands. Besides, it was just a mild weather condition, nothing that their plane and an experienced pilot could not handle.
He took her hand, cold from whatever was going through her mind, and rubbed it, trying his best to comfort her. Then, he pulled her closer, letting his warmth envelop her.
“It is nothing. It must be this weather.” She was glad he thought it was just her nerves because of their present circumstance.
She did not want him to think she had regressed again if he discovered what was going on with her. Besides, she believed it was just a temporary relapse on her part.
Soon, she would be ok once they were back on the ground. She did not want to worry her husband unnecessarily, knowing that he would not leave her side if he knew that she was not yet that well.
But she was trying hard.
“Ok. But you will tell me if you need anything.” Marcus looked at her as if not convinced. She nodded her head, but she knew she might be lying.
Soon, as her husband had promised, they had landed safely on the ground, back in the city where she had lived her entire life. But could she still call her this home after all the heartache this place reminded her of and the painful experiences she had to endure?
“I promise that things will be better. Slowly, but if we help each other, we will get through this.” Marcus swore to her.
She did not doubt that he would do his part. He would be the best husband a woman could ever want. She would be the luckiest woman alive. And regrettably, he would have been the best father if they did not lose their child.
She had seen him with her brother, Andy. How he interacted with him? He acted as a good role model to him. She had seen how he had changed from the man she had met in that bar.
“I know you will,” Jacky answered, happy to have him in her life. But she would also try her best.
She already asked her last therapist for a referral. She still planned to continue with her therapy. Marcus deserved a better wife, not a broken one. So, she would try her best to fix herself.
Eventually, they arrived at their apartment.
The very first place she could truly call her home. Marcus carried her on the threshold as if they were newlywed, letting the staff take care of their things. He quickly deposited her in the bedroom as if it was their first day back from their honeymoon.
It was sweet, and she appreciated it. But.
“I am thirsty.” She pulled away from him. “And hungry.” She untied the scarf around her neck and let it drop on the floor, walking towards the door. “I am going to the kitchen to get some water. Why don’t you order us something to eat?” She suggested as she left him.
She could hear him grumbling, protesting that she had left, but she only smiled. But she saw him grab his phone and then heard him order something. It sounded like pizza.
Whatever it was, she believed she could eat a cow because she was starving. She continued her way to the kitchen, passing again by the living room.
Then, she stopped as her eyes grew wild. Then, uncontrollable tears flooded her eyes. She knelt as her hands wiped the floors. She must be growing crazy.