Everyone else simply assumed that she was sad to say farewell to the ones she had grown attached to. However, Gen, who had been watching the whole situation a step away, could understand and guess the reason.
As Count Glacia boarded her carriage, the other ladies started gathering around Amethyst.
“Lady Skad, it was such a wonderful annual festival. See you again.”
“Yes. Have a safe trip, Countess Onslow.”
“I enjoyed myself as well. Next time please come to visit us! Then I will entertain you all too.”
“I’m so glad, Countess Citri. Please take care.”
“Thank you…Lady Skad.”
“And I, Lady Skad.”
“I was more thankful, Countess Houres, Baroness Zephyr.”
Instead of saying anything, Baroness Zephyr came and hugged her instead. Then everyone was busy taking turns, giving her a hug.
“Any longer and it will delay the trip.” The eldest Countess Onslow tried to disband the farewell.
Even as the ladies got on the carriage, Amethyst continued to wave, and the ladies mirrored her from their carriages.
With that, the annual festival came to an end.
***
Perhaps it was due to guilt, but after everyone had left, Amethyst no longer smiled. She was unable to.
Now that the annual festival ended, everything returned to normal. Roman returned to the side mansions, Lunia was busy taking care of things on behalf of Amethyst.
Amethyst, like before, spent her days quietly without any maids by her side.
“I…think I will go for a walk.”
“Yes, Madam.”
Once again, she was about to go on a walk without a maid when she ran into Pon.
With a short nod as a greeting, Pon was about to walk on by as usual but stopped in his tracks seeing how Amethyst looked gloomier than usual.
Perhaps this is why people say that people’s vacancies are more obvious when they are not there. Pon, who had been silently observing how depressed Amethyst grew after the annual festival, decided to engage her in a conversation today.
“Madam, are you going for a walk again today?”
“Yes.”
“The weather isn’t good today. Why don’t you take a rest for today?” Amethyst looked up at the sky. As he had said, the day looked gloomy.
“It’ll be a short one.”
“Then perhaps you should take an umbrella with you.”
Pon tried to stop her out of concern, but Amethyst politely declined and headed to the garden.
As she walked, Amethyst unraveled the tangled thread of thoughts in her head.
I…might go back to my original place any time… What if I ruined everything because of my own greed?
Her guilt had taken form as a sword and was directed towards her heart, scarring her.
I feel like I’ve messed up his own fate with my own hands. The thought made it difficult for her to breathe. His frequent smiles too, made it harder for her.
What am I supposed to do now?But it’s a contract marriage to begin with. I’m sure he won’t be concerned even if I were to disappear one day…Yes, nothing will change. I just need to take care of my heart.
At the thought of only having to take care of herself, she felt sadness creep into her heart. This confused her. Was it from her anxiety that she could disappear any day? Or was it from the agony of changing his fate? Unable to put a finger on it, she stopped in her tracks.
Then suddenly a familiar crying sound reached her ears. It sounded like the sound of a baby crying.
For sure, it’s the sound of a baby crying…! I wonder why of all times, now? Is this really a sign for me to go back?
At such a thought, she felt her heart drop. She let out the breath she was holding. She finally eased her heart and looked around.
Walking the maze-like garden, she walked closer and closer to the sound.
She swayed, feeling a bit faint. Amethyst grabbed a hold of a branch with shaking hands. Her anxiety was reaching its peak.
“Shhh… there, there. Don’t cry,” said a voice, “You just need to bear it a little longer. It will be fine. Alright?”
She turned to the source of the voice and found a maid holding a baby. The baby seemed to be around a year old. Amethyst sighed with relief. The apprehension at the pit of her stomach had disappeared.
Thankfully, she wasn’t hearing voices in her head. She shook her thoughts off and tried to call out to the maid softly so that she didn’t scare her away.
“Are you alright?” she asked.
“M-Madam!” cried the maid in surprise. She was frozen at the spot and was trembling in fear as though she had been caught doing something wrong. She held the baby closer to herself.
“It’s alright,” assured Amethyst, “I heard a baby cry while I was taking a walk. Is that your baby?”
“I am so sorry, madam,” stammered the maid, “I didn’t have anyone one to look after her and couldn’t leave her behind, so I brought her with me. Please forgive me.”
Amethyst tried to console the maid who apologized profusely. “It is absolutely fine,” she said, “I was just concerned.”
“My baby isn’t feeling well,” said the maid sadly.
“Oh no,” said Amethyst, worriedly, “Why did you come to work? You should have taken a day off.”
“I was intending to do that,” said the maid, “But I had a lot of task to complete. I didn’t want to cause any inconvenience.”
Her reply made Amethyst sad. Being responsible and hardworking was a commendable trait but right now it would only make things worse for the maid and her sick baby. Amethyst could sympathize with the maid. She could understand how she felt because she had been through something similar.
When her child or herself had been sick, she had had to send them to the nursery after feeding them some medicine and head back to work even if she was sick herself because the employers had given her no choice. People would prefer to not hire mothers because they thought mothers took too many leaves. Sometimes she would exhaust her sick leave to care for her child, and when she fell sick, she couldn’t afford to ask for extended leave.
Hearing the words and helplessness echo back to her made her sad. She closed her eyes and sighed. The world wasn’t just full of wicked people like Dajal and Count Glacia, there were people like this maid too. Responsible, kind and helpless.
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