Chapter 206: 206

“Was it her? Did you revive Ash?” Alexcent asked.

Belice remained silent, her red eyes staring at him in fear. He could see that she was trembling, scared of the truth being revealed. He released her hands and stepped away from her, realizing the seriousness of what she was saying without uttering a word.

“What…”

“Alexcent, it’s not what you think. Listen to me,” Belice pleaded.

“What did you do?!” Alexcent controlled his words, even though he was screaming in the void of his mind.

“Alec!”

“Don’t call me that! Don’t call me… You… Do you know what you have done?”

“Alexcent, I’m sorry but that’s not all.”

Alexcent couldn’t hear anything. Belice was holding on to him and speaking, but the static in his head prevented him from hearing a word. There’s no way, no! He kept repeating the same words to himself, hoping in his heart that it wasn’t true. He shook his head, clearing it of the ranting, and turned towards Belice.

“Just tell me it isn’t so. Tell me it isn’t. Tell me it wasn’t her! That everything is a lie.” Alexcent was holding on to Belice in desperation. He collapsed to his knees. With trembling hands, he barely held the hem of Belice’s dress as he collapsed forward with his head resting on the ground.

“Please, tell me it wasn’t her.” Tears fell from his eyes, dampening the carpet below his face. His shoulders trembled and Belice lifted a hand to console him, but stopped herself. In his current state, any consoling would only agitate him more.

Memories of words spoken in the past rebounded in Alexcent’s head, attacking his senses. “When the time comes, I will no longer be a duchess nor a child of a count. You have to give me alimony!”, “What’s the point of a guard when I’m not a duchess. I need to be able to protect myself, so I’m learning self defence when I have a chance.’

Alexcent controlled a burst of manic laughter. She had been giving him clues all along, but he wouldn’t allow himself to hear it. He just wanted to hold her. He had told her that he loved her. “You shouldn’t have loved me.” Those final words of rejection split through his skull like thunder. She was right. Love would never have been allowed.

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Everyone saw him as a monster. Every time he was victorious in a war, the people called him a monster. He could only hear the words so many times without his subconscious telling him that he really was one. He began to not care. Emotion only got in the way. So, he lived like a monster. Killed all emotion. Killed all relationships. Killed any remaining humanity that still cowered inside of him. He became a devil that was alive but not living. Until he met her.

“Don’t let others determine your life. You are yours.” The words that had saved him entered his mind, attempting to quell the noise in his head. It had been a chance for him to regain his humanity. This was why Amethyst was so important to him. It had been the first time he had felt love, and he didn’t want to let that go. If he released that small lifeline to humanity, he would revert back to the monster he had once been. He couldn’t live that way again.

He would have done anything to keep her love with him, but even that was being snatched away by the realizations that had come to light. He did not want to believe any of it. Was he being greedy, ignoring the consequences that would come for his last chance to hold on to humanity? Life was so harsh and cruel.

His rational mind said there was only one action remaining. Find the evidence and destroy it himself. No one could know what she meant to him. The secret needed to die with him. He knew what he had to do.

His shoulders shuddered for a while as his sobbing quelled. Bottling his emotions, Alexcent slowly stood up. He stared straight into Belice’s eyes.

“Does she know? That she is…” He couldn’t get the words out. Belice stood there silent. “I see.” Her silence was all the answer he needed.

“Belice, I despise you. But don’t worry. You are my sister; my loyalty will never change with you.”

“What do you mean?” Belice could sense a change in him and was deathly afraid.

His face was cold, a deep darkness now occupying his eyes. Belice could see the return of Alexcent’s old self. This was the face of the killing machine, the man who could end the lives of humans without a single hesitation. It was the face of fear. The mask of the monster had returned, as if it was back where it always belonged.

Alec clenched his fist then opened it. This is what he always was and would always will be. He could never be human. “What do I mean? The thing I do best. And the thing only I can do. You know what kind of a monster I am.” Without another word, Alexcent walked past Belice and headed towards the door.

Belice, her face having gone ghostly pale, grabbed at Alexcent’s arm. “No! Alexcent! You can’t kill her!!”

She knew, too well, what he meant by what he does best. She had been by his side since his birth. She, unfortunately, knew better than anyone. There was only one way he knew how to get rid of things he thought dangerous to him and her. He found and destroyed the evidence and killed everyone that knew about it. No hesitation, no second thoughts.

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