Chapter 19: Ch.0019 – Calixxa’s Day

It was the touch of mana that brought her back to the world of the waking. Calixxa slowly opened her eyes as the magical haze left her and blinked as she tried to again adjust to the gloom of the chamber. 

The scent of incense crept into her nose, and she sniffled it away. Even after all these days, she still couldn’t get used to the stiflingly floral smell that suffused the space. She rubbed at her nose and then her eyes and as soon as her eyes had adjusted took in the sight of her mentor seated upon a cushion at the outer edge of the pit, the woman’s eyes shut in concentration and a beaded necklace in her hand. 

Sylaxxa’s fingers worked with enviable dexterity as she thumbed through each bead with practiced ease, her motion matching perfectly with the rhythm that underlaid her prayers, until finally her work was done and her chanting stopped. 

“Come, child. It is over.” she said after a moment. 

Calixxa yawned and nodded as she stretched her arms and tried to work the drowsiness from her bones before she slowly rose to her feet. Or attempted to. 

She stumbled and fell to a knee half-way up, her legs having gone numb after the hour of immobility that she’d endured. Calixxa grimaced as the feeling of pins and needles prickled at her slowly waking flesh, and she was forced to awkwardly waddle through the pit of fine sand until she reached its edges and was finally stood on solid stone once again. 

Sylaxxa watched her as she did so with no small amount of amusement on her wizened face. The elderly goblin’s eyes were shut as was the norm, but Calixxa had come to learn that when it came to the elder, eyes shut didn’t mean unseeing. 

“You did well, child.” remarked the woman with a smile. 

Calixxa frowned and looked away. That was what she always said but Calixxa had more and more come to disbelieve her words. “Did I really, honoured elder?” she asked softly, uneasiness bubbling in her gut. All she’d done was sit completely still day in and out. The incense combined with the gloominess of the room would make her drowsy and though she’d fight its touch, she’d inevitably fall asleep, and that would be it. She’d wake an hour later and all would be done. What did she accomplish doing just that? 

“Has Calixxa made it so-” 

She paused as she eyed the twitch of Sylaxxa’s eyebrow that told her that she had erred. Ah, yes. OF course. 

“Have I made it so that I don’t hurt anyone anymore with my ill fate?” 

Sylaxxa smiled gently though even Calixxa could tell that there was a trace of pity there. The elder gently laid a hand over the young goblin’s head in a gesture she’d once seen parents do to their children and despite herself, Calixxa found herself leaning into that comforting warmth. 

The elder’s face spoke of a moment of contemplation before she finally spoke again. “Not quite yet.” Sylaxxa admitted softly. “Your talent is immense, your power raw and you remain far too young to even start attempting to hone your control. Still, what we are doing here will suppress the worst of it. You are doing your best, child. None may ask any more.” 

“But it won’t keep nice Ash safe, will it?” 

And that was the meat of the issue that pained her heart. If she was as dangerous as she knew she was, then why did they still keep her around? If even a wizened elder like Sylaxxa couldn’t cure her of her ill fate, why did they take on the risk of her presence? Why did he? 

“No. But that boy’s fate is bound to violence, pain and greatness with or without your presence, child. What he will endure is what will come to pass. Do not blame yourself for it.” 

She smiled bitterly, and the elder frowned at the sight of such an expression on a face so young. 

Ignoring fault was more easily said than done, Calixxa thought, especially when she knew that she was the one to blame and she knew that something horrible was coming. The goblin tightened her little fists and swallowed back the strength-sapping feeling she felt bubbling in her gut. A feeling that grew with every day that passed and the closer they inched to Ash leaving for his trade run. She didn’t want him to leave. 

She was deathly afraid that something would happen. 

Something terrible. 

She looked to the elder and for once, the woman’s eyes were open as she gazed down on her, and in those limitless pools of silver and black, she saw understanding obvious to even her child mind. 

“I know what you worry of child and I know it well. I have wasted countless sleepless nights and no small amount of anguish worrying over its coming these past few years, and in my lowest, darkest hours, it was like a chain around my neck that I feared would never loosen. One that would drag me and everyone I loved down to the deepest depths forevermore. It was enough to break even someone with my years and magic.” 

The elder frowned as she spoke, and her face seemed to grow a hundred years older in that moment. “Do you know how I eventually overcame all that distress?” 

Calixxa shook her head. 

“By realizing that what will happen shall happen, as decreed by the sands of fate, and no amount of worrying will change that. Instead, focus on what you can do. Do you know what that is?” 

“Focus on training?” asked hesitantly. 

“Yes, but also attend your classes with Teacher Dexxart. You’re late.” 

The girl groaned at the reminder, her fears not forgotten but shoved to a distant corner of her mind in the wake of the blooming anger and irritation that flooded her veins. She hated Dexxart! She hated how strict the old bag was and his constant nit-picking of every little thing she did or said. 

She hated it so much! 

He was like a nagging insect that wouldn’t ever leave her alone. 

Still, she’d borne with it stoically for the first few days out of respect for her host tribe and elder Sylaxxa, but time had proven strong enough to grind away at her shyness and hesitancy to the point that she’d contemplated screaming at his bald head during the last class. 

Only her desire to not cause trouble for nice Ash or the elder gave her the strength to hold her tongue. 

She glowered at the thought of attending another of the man’s intolerable lectures. Still, if nothing else, at least the actual contents of the lessons proved interesting. She’d learnt quite a bit about the Everwatch tribe’s customs and traditions over the past few days, and more so about the general goblin know-how that she’d been denied an education in by her former tribe. 

And more importantly, she’d made her first friend in that class. It was the kind of bond she’d never even imagined possible for her to achieve but fate, for all that it had dragged her through the mud, was quirky like that. 

The desire to see her friend again was almost enough to wash away the displeasure of having to deal with teacher Dexxart as Calixxa steeled herself for the day ahead. 

“Don’t forget to take the potion.” reminded Sylaxxa. 

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She paused and grimaced. She had forgotten, and the thought of ingesting that foul concoction further lowered her mood. Still, she did as bid and retrieved the vial from a pocket in her dress and after a moment of hesitation, downed it in one. 

It was like the worst garbage flowing down her throat but it was fortunately only a momentary thing, and the taste quickly dissolved into nothingness before she felt its magic take hold. 

She blinked and then turned towards the elder who surveyed her onyx-tinged gaze and then nodded. 

“Good. Never forget to take it before you go out. We can’t risk people knowing of your nature before we’re ready.” 

Calixxa knew that well. Her days in her tribe were not so long behind her that she could forget. 

“I will.” she said softly before she left the room. 

◆◆◆◆◆ 

“Why do we care for the dirt, learners?” 

It was a question cast to the whole class but Calixxa was sure that nuisance Dexxart’s focus would undoubtedly turn towards her no matter the number of raised hands seeking his attention. And as sure as prophecy, the elderly goblin’s sharp grey eyes did eventually find Calixxa in her position at the far end of the room. 

“Perhaps our guest can provide us with the answer, mhm? Rise learner Calixxa and grace the class with your answer.” he asked with thinly veiled condescension. 

He no doubt expected things to go as they had gone previously, where she was usually forced to eek out a quiet ‘I don’t know’ before the man turned away with a snort. No more. Her mood was still foul and she had no space for his bullish tactics anymore. Calixxa would enjoy disappointing him. 

She rose to a stand and took a measure of pride in the fact that despite how all eyes had turned towards her, she could still bear their stares without flinching, especially when she still remembered nearly fainting the first time her fellow learners had so intensely focused on her scarcely a few days ago. 

Still, it was a discomforting thing, and she was grateful for the faint yet firmly friendly nudge from her side. She glanced towards Solaxxa, her friend – and she was sure that she’d never grow tired of that word – and smiled down at the mousy little goblin. 

Calixxa sucked in a breath and ordered her thoughts before she began. 

“The dirt represents goblinkind. It was from the dirt that Xxistama the Mother Goddess, raised the first goblin. The dirt represents not only the matter from which we come, but the matter to which we eventually return. The dirt is us. It is the giver of life and the vessel of souls. It is foundation of all things in this world, and in its transformations and changes lies a lesson teaching humility, acceptance, community and unyielding growth. It a-” 

“That is quite enough, learner Calixxa.” said the elder with a frown. He stared at her thinly for a moment before he turned away from her and Calixxa did little to hide the wide smile that crossed her lips as she again took her seat. 

“Still, there was an error in your answer, learner Calixxa. You mentioned the Mother Goddess but not her son, Sinaxx the Life-Giver, and his role in our birth. Do you seek to earn the ire of his shamans?” 

The goblin blinked at the sudden accusation and rose to respond when the dastardly teacher held up a hand to silence her. 

“It is true that the Mother Goddess was the one to craft our forms and she did so with the skill and perfection only she could bring to bear, but the labour of our creation was not hers alone, class, for despite her majesty and power, she did not possess the magic to bring her creations to true life!” 

“It was in fact her son, the resplendent Sinaxx, who solely held that ability, and who consoled his distraught mother by using his power to breathe life into us! It was he who granted us our souls and our beings! Let that be a lesson to you all in the duality of all creation, and of...” 

Calixxa glowered and quietly sat back down once it became apparent that the foul man had no intention of allowing her a chance to respond. A curse rose to the tip of her tongue but she stifled it and instead took comfort in Solaxxa’s steadying presence. 

“Don’t bother with him. Everyone knows that teacher Dexxart is a real mole-butt.” whispered Solaxxa into her ear in conspiratorial tones. 

Calixxa chuckled and nodded. 

“I’m happy that you finally read through our text-books though. I was starting to think that you’d never come around.” 

“Calix- I read it back-to-back the day I got it.” Calixxa admitted, catching herself before she relapsed into her childish form of address once again. As much as it grieved her to change, elder Sylaxxa had been right in guiding her away from it. She was nearly six years old after all. Almost a young adult, even if she did still love playing games more than others her age did. 

The other girl shot her a strange look but didn’t mention the slip-up. Solaxxa instead spoke of a question that Calixxa’s casual answer had raised. 

“But you couldn’t answer before.” 

And that had been a matter of nerves rather than not knowing the answer. She hadn’t yet adjusted to being surrounded by so many of her kind after a lifetime of solitude, and it was even more overwhelming since they were all of her own age. That meekness had fallen away eventually, mostly thanks to Dexxart’s grating attitude and her own unwillingness to remain meek in the face of it forever. 

She opened her mouth to say as much when Dexxart rapped his hand against his desk, demanding silence, before continuing with the rest of the lesson. Calixxa took a small trickle of pleasure in the elders mildly aggrieved look, but remained quiet nonetheless. And so did the rest of the class continue without much more fuss until the it finally came to a much expected end. 

Calixxa rose like a shooting star and grasped at Solaxxa’s small hand before she all but bodily dragged the girl to the door. 

“Wha-where are we going?” 

“To my room! I have a new game to show you?” 

“Another game? How do you know so many of them!” 

“The best person I know taught me a bunch of them.” 

Solaxxa huffed at the insinuation that she wasn’t the best person that Calixxa had known, but there was no real heat in her expression. “What is it this time then?” 

“Chess! The best game of them all!” she declared unhesitatingly with a wide smile. Her friend didn’t seem as convinced but Calixxa was determined to prove her claim true. 

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