Chapter 21: Ch.0021 – Resolution

Ash found Myr seated on her bed covered in a wet sheen. She must have just wrapped up her work-out, he supposed. She couldn’t do much with her shoulder as it was, but she still did as much as she could to maintain her physique as it was. Her very visible, very bare physique, he realized. 

For the woman was currently very scantily clad, with only a cloth strip across her sizable chest and a thin towel across her waist maintaining her dignity. 

In hindsight, he supposed that he should have knocked before just barging in. At least Myr seemed embarrassed for a short second after his entry, rather than angry or suggestive as she usually was, though that only lasted until she noticed his own embarrassment and an opportunistic leer crossed her lips. 

He sighed. 

“Watcha’ lookin’ all shy for, eh? You’ve already seen all the goods, haven’t you.” she remarked with a clumsy wink. 

He had, but that didn’t mean that it wasn’t still embarrassing. Still, he knew that admitting so would just be what the woman wanted. A position of weakness wasn’t how you dealt with Myr, he had learnt, and so he unabashedly stared at her without so much as a blink, a lecherous smile of his own brought to bear that was only partly feigned. 

Myr’s haughty façade crumbled quickly following that, and she eventually barked at him to look away whilst she dressed. Ash chuckled as she grumbled and strode towards her dresser. 

Embarrassment aside, he was grateful for her state of half-nudity, if only because it had cleared the air before a semblance of the tension between them had even settled. It made what was to come slightly easier to endure. 

Myr returned a moment later and took a seat on her bed and motioned at him to join her. At another moment, she may have made a joke about what they might do together, but she seemed to have at least an inkling of what his purpose was, and so her demeanour, whilst not strained, had grown noticeably more wary. 

“You here to talk about what happened between us at the burrow?” she asked without any more meaningless preamble. 

He nodded. “You... you really would’ve attacked me if I’d tried to walk out of there then, right?” 

“Yeah, I would’ve. You owe me too much for me to let you run away to your death, kid. Like I said, I ain’t lettin’ go until I get wh-” 

“This isn’t about debts, Myr.” he said shortly, and the woman’s brash bluster froze on the tip of her tongue. “You know as much as I do that I wanna pay you back. It’s almost suffocating sometimes, when I think of just how much I owe you, and my life is the least of it. I know that. But it wasn’t any debt that made you try and keep me from leaving.” 

The woman scoffed. “It’s just that, kid. Nothin’ else.” It was his turn to scoff then. He knew that she cared for him. It was obvious enough through the little things she did, but even more so then as she refused to meet his gaze. Myr was so closely guarded when it came to her inner feelings that it frustrated him at times, but she wasn’t irredeemably so. He could get through to her, he knew. 

“It isn’t. You care for me, Myr, and I care for you.” he said, and as sappy as it sounded, it was the earnest truth that left his lips. “You’re the closest thing I have to a friend in this whole damn world, and that isn’t even an exaggeration. And I know you feel the same way about me. You can try and act all tough but that’s the honest truth.” 

The woman looked to him and snarled, as if in defiance of that reality, but his unwaveringly sincere stare wore away at her gruffness until she was again forced to look away. “... Fine. Yeah, I care for you.” she admitted, albeit in a voice softer than a whisper. 

He smiled then, and though he wasn’t sure if it was her suddenly delicate mien or something in the air, Ash dared to move his hand and place it over hers. The woman flinched as if he’d struck her, but her hand lingered in his grasp nonetheless. 

“You’re a good person, Myr, no matter how much you try to hide it.” 

“I’m no-” 

“You are." He repeated again far more firmly. “I’m not saying you’re a saint or without fault, but at your core, you’re a good person... and... you deserve to know why I act the way I do.” 

Blue eyes rose to meet his, and she must’ve seen the look in his eye then because he saw a sudden flash of pity bubble in her gaze. It grated on him. He hated to be looked at like that, but he swallowed down his inhibitions and slowly started to unravel the years' worth of locks and bindings he’d kept his heart tightly bound by. 

It was no easy feat, but he recognized that it needed to be done if he wanted to break through to Myr. 

“I... had a happy childhood.” he began sombrely. “We weren’t rich or anything, but my mom and dad made sure that I never lacked for anything. They made sure that I was always happy and doing my best. Some of my happiest memories are still from that time. Running in the playground with my dad chasing after me. Mom telling us some lame joke and me and my dad pretending to laugh.” He chuckled at the wistful memory that he’d not dared to recall in years, and bore with the pain it still brought surging forth. 

“My brother, Jamie, came along when I was six, and it only made us happier. I had a little bro I could spoil and play with however I wanted, and my parents had another baby to fill out our house. It was perfect... for a time.” And then came the almost forgotten tendrils of dread, and the nightmares, and the memories he’d much rather keep buried. But the reservoir doors had been opened, and there wasn’t much point in trying to stifle the flow gushing forth. 

“My parents died when I was eight. Some maniac slaughtered them on their way back from work. That.... was hard to deal with, but at least I had my brother and he had me. We were shipped off to an orphanage after that.” He looked to Myr to make sure that she understood what he was saying. He knew that some concepts from his world might not necessarily translate, like the very idea of an orphanage. 

Fortunately, it seemed that she was keeping stride with him, and a slight nod from her beckoned him to continue. 

“My mother had no living relatives and my father’s relationship with his relatives had been... strained. They wanted nothing to do with us so, yeah, orphanage. We weren’t there too long though. Adopted after a year. We were lucky in that regard, and unlucky in many others.” 

“Is that not a good thing?” she asked after having noticed his grimace as he spoke of the darkest chapter of his life. 

“It should’ve been.” he said tightly as a righteous fury bubbled forth from within him. “But it wasn’t. The people that adopted us... weren’t good people. Not at all. The years that we lived with them were hell. They did... unspeakable things to us.” Things that he swore he would seen revisited on that scum even if it took him his whole life. That seemed like a pipe-dream now, years later and a whole world away, but his rage still burnt as fresh as it had been then. 

“I probably wouldn't be here right now if I didn’t have my brother for support. He kept me sane through all those years... which makes what I did to him even more unforgivable.” 

And it was, no matter what a therapist or case office said. No matter what those few who knew his story told him, or even if Jamie himself had forgiven him. He couldn’t forgive himself for having... 

“Abandoned him. Like trash. As soon as I turned sixteen, I got out of there and didn’t look back. I left him behind to try and survive on my own. I could’ve taken him with him, but they kept a closer eye on him than they did me. He was always the smarter, more charming, better-looking of us, and that made them value him more. It would’ve been a risk trying to sneak him out.” 

Or at least, that was what he’d told himself. He wasn’t sure if that shallow excuse sounded any more believable now as it had then. 

“And that was that. Made it on my own doing whatever I could to earn how much ever I could, and eventually managed to claw my way to a half-decent life. I even reconnected with Jamie a year before I came here. He was in high school then, and living with a foster family. Apparently, the scum had both been found out for their crimes and jailed, and he’d been moved to people that actually treated him like he deserved. Better than I had, at least.” 

“How did he receive you?” asked Myr softly. 

Ash chuckled then, and it sounded so bitingly bitter even to him. He swept a hand through his golden-brown locks and sucked in a deep breath. “He hugged me. He didn’t care that I’d left him. He understood why I’d done it. He didn’t... care. He was just happy that I was doing well.” 

He still remembered how he’d broken down then, in the embrace of his brother’s warmth and forgiveness. It had nearly shattered him, and then made him whole again. At times, in his worst days, he still recalled that warmth to give himself strength again. 

“We reconnected after that and made sure to talk at least once a week going forward. Managed to keep it up until, well, I was sucked into this world.” And that was another source of agony in his heart. The idea that his brother was out there, worried to death about his whereabouts and without a single clue to point him to any kind of conclusion. 

It was the kind of situation that could drive people mad. His hands balled into fists at the thought, and it was only when Myr wrapped a hand over his that he loosened his grip. 

“I’m sure he’s doing well, Ash. Your brother sounds like a strong young man.” 

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“He is. He’s the fucking best. And that’s why I can’t abandon Calixxa. ‘Cuz I don’t want to be the same scum that left a kid to suffer to save his own skin again. I don’t want to be that Ash, Myr. I promised myself that I would be better, and I won’t ever break that promise. Not for a damn thing.” 

His gaze met hers, his eyes twin pools of green fire against her calm, icy blues. He saw no condemnation in her stare, nor any judgement. Just understanding and acceptance. 

“You won’t be, ‘cuz you never were that kid, Ash. I know you enough to say that.” 

He scoffed and turned away, but Myr wrenched his attention back with a yank of her hand. Her eyes, steely and unblinking, bored into his. “You’re not.” she said with such conviction that he was taken aback. They stared at each for a moment after, one fierce and the other unsure. 

They held that stare for a time. It could have been seconds or minutes. He wasn’t really sure, and before he entirely registered what he was doing, he moved forward. 

Ash’s lips met hers and Myr flinched, startled by the unexpected intimacy. She made to move away and he made no effort to stop her. 

“K-kid! What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” 

“Something I’ve held back from doing for a while, I guess.” 

Myr laughed nervously then and shifted away ever so slightly. “Don’t joke around. You know me, you give me a bone and I’ll jump on it without a thought, so don’t t-tempt me.” 

“I’m not. I want to do this.” 

“Y-y-” He kissed her again before she could say anything else, and this time, there was no flinch. No struggle. Myr seemed unsure for a few seconds, and Ash feared that he’d pushed too far, too quickly. Fortunately, his fears proved unfounded as he felt her powerful arms wrap around him, and her lips embrace his fully, and soon enough Myr was no longer the only sweaty one between them. 

◆◆◆◆◆ 

Their goodbyes were a quick and calm affair. It wasn’t as if they would be gone for months or years after all, though by the way Calixxa had teared up, it likely felt that way to the child. Ash hugged the girl with no small amount of anxiety of his own and knew well that if it weren’t for Sylaxxa’s restraining presence by her side, Calixxa would have likely bawled her eyes out and begged him not to leave. 

Still, he hoped that the talk that they’d shared about why he needed to go and how he’d come back as quickly as he could would buoy her spirits for the short while he was gone. 

“Do you see any danger in our fortunes for the next few days, honoured elder?” he asked her after they managed to pry their shared ward from her death-hug around his leg. 

“I have asked, but my Lady hasn’t deigned to grant me an answer. Perhaps that is in itself a sign that your trade-run will be bland and uneventful, as they have always been thus far. Then again, you do seem to draw trouble to yourself like a moth to a flame.” 

He would contest that, but he supposed that his track record so far would prove rather damning. Barely a month into his stay in the new world and he’d rescued a goblin child, fought off a monster attack on his home and, to top it all off, learnt that he was central to some vague kind of prophecy. 

One that he’d still not learnt a damn thing about. He considered asking the elder then and there about it but figured that the eve of his leaving wasn’t the best time for that kind of question. 

Instead, he thanked her for her graciousness and bid her goodbye before he searched for Myr. Said woman stood a short distance away, her gaze affixed onto the brightly coloured figure that approached them with a trail of attendants following close behind. 

Her bluish-green hair was done up in an extravagantly complex hairstyle that he struggled to find words to describe, and all manner of ostentatious jewellery jangled on her person as she gracefully strode forwards. All of that made it obvious enough to him that she was someone of importance as far as the Everwatch were concerned, but if that hadn’t been enough, the confident, almost imperious air that followed her every step only further cemented his assumption. 

“Honoured elder. You remain as wise and benevolent always.” greeted the woman in a sing-song voice and a shallow bow as she came to a stop before them. The elder goblin returned the greeting with a smile and a nod of her own. “And you remain as beautiful, Councillor Cyrillaxxa. Have you come to see our humans off?” 

“Of course! How could I not after all that has happened? Is that not right, trusted human Myr? You remain strong and fierce still, even after that ghastly bharghest attack.” 

“Councillor Cyrillaxxa.” greeted Myr with a bow that Ash mimicked, even as he tried to recall why her name sounded so familiar to him. 

“And it isn’t anything time won’t heal on its own. Give me a few days and I’ll be as good as new.” 

“Glad to hear it! We still have many more years to this partnership of ours!” The goblin laughed at that, as did Myr, though the earth mage’s was an empty, faux thing done more for the sake of politeness than any real levity. 

“And you? You must be the trusted human Ash Pale that I have heard so much about. You are not as large as trusted human Myr, but far more handsome. Have you two mated recently?” 

Myr sputtered and choked on her own spit at the sudden line of questioning. Ash’s reaction was far more reserved, though he still coughed and sheepishly looked away as he answered. “Er, yes?” 

“Good, good! It does not do well for one as young and lively as trusted human Myr to live like some eunuch! Our Lord Sinaxx himself knows well that I do my best to remain intimate with my beloved Wixxacks no matter how trying my duties with the Council can be.” 

“Wixxacks? You’re his...” 

“Bond-mate, yes.” 

“She’s also the reason the two of you are even allowed in our town.” added Sylaxxa. “She nearly got herself nearly kicked out of the council in the attempt, but she was the one who spear-headed the idea of using human Myr to serve as a mule to connect our products with the human markets, and vice versa.” 

She was? He searched his memories and found that Sylaxxa had mentioned something of the sort back in Wixxack’s shop, as she’d been leaving. 

“Yep. I’m around an’ doing well ‘cuz of her favour, an’ that makes her indirectly the reason you’re still alive.” 

Well, when put that way it made it hard for him to not feel immediately indebted to the boisterous goblin lady. 

“Now, now, I was merely doing my best to open our village to the world, trusted human Myr. We cannot remain hidden in our forest forever, whatever the esteemed members of the Council may think.” A shadow flickered across the woman’s expression as she spoke of her fellow councillors, and even a blind man would have noticed the obviously low opinion she seemed to have of them. 

“Anyway, let us not mar your leaving with such troubled matters. I do not wish to keep you here anymore than necessary, so I wish you good luck and good travels.” 

The duo accepted her well-wishes with gratitude and bid her goodbye as she left as quickly as she had arrived. The woman was obviously a busy one, but he was thankful nonetheless for everything she’d done for him so far, indirectly or not. 

The next few minutes were spent checking that everything was ready and prepared, not that there was much to check. Most of the goods were carried in a specially made spatial bag, the existence of which had amazed Ash as soon as he’d witnessed it swallow item after item without end into a seemingly bottomless interior. All told, he wouldn’t doubt that it alone carried near a hundred kilograms of weight whilst all the while remaining as light as a feather as he slung it over a shoulder. Magic was truly wonderful. 

And so, with everything done, the two left with their goods in tow. 

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