Chapter 111: 110 – Dreams and Nightmares – II

Was it because of my newly increased abilities? A weird resonance between the Pagoda of Dreams and my powers? Or was the regret and guilt Seonhwa felt so great that it was enough to pull me in?

I couldn’t be too sure. And for some reason my reliable <Transcendent Insight> wasn’t working. Neither were my <Karmic Eyes of Destiny>.

At this point, I was certain that there wasn’t a being in existence that could completely suppress my powers like that. Well, other than Blackie, but that didn’t count since he was technically me due to various loophole and destiny shenanigans.

But anyway, this wasn’t something being imposed on me by an external force, so…

“Maybe this is a subconscious thing?” I muttered to myself as I watched Seonhwa sit there trembling.

We were in the Pagoda of Dreams. And while I was normally in full control of my abilities and everything, it apparently didn’t apply when I was unconscious. Not only that, but it seemed like my subconscious had other thoughts if it was creating a situation like this.

“Hm.” I looked around the place to think.

It was still a dream. And while my powers weren’t completely working, now that I was aware, I had the vague sense that I could forcibly break through the dream and back to reality.

But…

I looked back at Seonhwa.

She was crying. Tears were running down her cheeks as she trembled, holding back her sobs.

Part of that seemed to be due to not wanting anyone else to hear her since this was a dorm room. But it also seemed like she was trying to bottle everything up.

Seeing that sent a pang of guilt through me. It also reminded me of my mixed feelings towards Seonhwa.

At this point, I had decided to accept her. After all, considering everyone else, it’d be the dickish move of all to just cut her off when I wasn’t doing that with anyone else.

But at the same time…

It was different.

With Flone, Hannah, Claire, and everyone else, the relationship had started from zero. They were meeting ‘me’ and not ‘Seol Jihu’. Because of that, I could be sure that they were liking ‘me’ and not some remnant of the past.

A similar thing was true for my family. Since the relationship had already deteriorated to the point of no return, it was essentially starting from zero. It was practically at the point of being strangers already, so there wasn’t much of a hang up there.

But Seonhwa…

“I should have told him. I should have told him…!” Seonhwa let out a hitched breath while saying those words and then dropped her phone, letting it clatter to the floor.

Was it by design? Or coincidence?

Somehow, the phone slid all the way towards me, letting me see the message on the screen.

You are reading story The Second Coming of Gluttony, the First of Vainglory at novel35.com

xxx

[Seunghae]

Unni. We didn’t want to tell you like this, but… Oppa’s gone. There’s a letter for you, but… Well. Come home soon, okay?

xxx

“Ah… So it’s like this.”

I understood the gist of how things were playing out now.

Because of the fact that Seol sacrificed so much to send her to university in America, Seonhwa felt guilty about it. And because of that, she accommodated Seol when he started on his self-destructive cycle.

If I remembered right… in the story, that went on for a while until even she reached a breaking point.

But that never happened here.

The piece of shit Seol who was the literal scum of the Earth never appeared. Instead, I had turned that guy’s life around for the better, mended the relationship with my family, and improved myself to be not just a respectable person, but one that anyone would admire.

And since I never clarified it outright, Seonhwa thought it was because of her. That I blamed her for everything and decided to turn my life around because I realized that.

A sort of destructive self-validating cycle.

Seonhwa was already blaming herself for ‘my’ spiral. And then just before it hit the bottom, I stopped and turned it around. All while practically cutting her off from everything in my life despite keeping contacts with my family.

Considering the fact that she was also essentially family, and the relationship we had…

“Hah…” I ran my hand through my hair and frowned.

A mess that I really should have cleaned up earlier. I could have blamed the fact that I was still sorting out exactly who ‘I’ was back then, but at least I should have made that clear…

Breaking out of here was an option, but this would be a shadow on Seonhwa’s heart forever at this point. She’d keep doubting herself no matter what I did or said.

And so…

“You’re right.”

…I had to just rip off that bandaid.

Seonhwa flinched and looked up at me. When she did, her eyes widened in shock and she said, “J-Jihu? B-B-But…” She looked down at the phone and then looked up at me.