Chapter 18: SPF 0

Church, Caboose, Bell and Tucker are standing over Church's body/

"I am not happy about this." Church states.

"I have an idea." Caboose says and no one answers. "I HAVE AN IDEA!"

"Yeah, we heard you the first time, Caboose." Tucker says. "We were just ignoring you."

"Sorry, Caboose." Bell apologies. "I was lost in thought."

Caboose then speaks of his idea. "Since you possessed that Red guy, and took control of him... Why don't you just possess your own body?"

Tucker and Bell slowly looks to Caboose.

"Oh, I see, so that way I would be living inside of my own dead body." Church says.

"Yes." Caboose affirms. 

"Unable to move. Just laying there rotting in the sun for all eternity."

"Yes!"

"Okay, Caboose. I'll be sure to get right on that."

"I think you are a mean ghost." Caboose says to Church.

"Dude, you really stink." Tucker talks about Church's dead body.

"What?" Church questions.

"I think your body is starting to rot." Bell says.

"Damn it, Tucker. The first chance we get, you are going to bury my body, with the help of Bell."

"Yes, sir!" Bell says.

"Quit your birching, nothing's going to happen to it." Tucker claims.

"It's a freaking indignity!" Church yells. "My body fought hard for this army, and it deserves to be laid to rest."

"Get over it, you're already dead." 

"Tucker, spare some sympathy." Bell says.

"Bell, shut up." Tucker says.

"Sorry."

Tucker turns back to Church. "What's the worst that could happen now?"

Caboose looks up to the sky. "Hey, Church, look, birds! Why are they flying around in circles?"

Church sighs. "Ugh, God."

Cut to Grif and Simmons on the Red Base.

Grif: Okay, I'll go again. I spy something.. that begins with...

Simmons: Dirt.

Grif: Damn! How did you-

Simmons: Well, because you did rock last time. That's all that's out here, is rock and dirt.

Grif: Yeah, this canyon sucks.

Cut to Tucker, Bell, and Church watching Tex fix the tank from the cliff's edge. Caboose is behind Tucker looking through the sniper rifle.

"How long do you figure until Tex fixes the tank?" Church asks Tucker and Bell.

"Not much longer." Tucker says.

"She's making a good progress on fixing the tank." Bell says. "The gun is gonna be online soon, and then she'll get it moving again."

"Oh, that's just fantastic." Church says sarcastically. 

"Why would that upset you?" Tucker asks. 

"Because as soon as she gets the tank online, she'ls gonna use it against the Reds, and they're all gonna die."

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"The Reds dying is a good thing."

"I don't know, if they die, do I stop getting paychecks?" Bell asks.

"No, Tucker, it's not a good thing." Church states. "As soon as we beat the Reds, Tex is outta here. And I still haven't figured out a way to get that A.I. out of her head."

"A.I." Caboose says thoughtfully.

"Shut up, Caboose. And If I don't get it out before she leaves..."

"If she leaves, you won't ever find her again." Tucker says.

"Right." Church affirms. 

"So, what're you gonna do?"

"I guess I'm gonna do the only thing that I can do. I have to worn the Reds before she fixes the tank."

"You're switching sides?" Tucker asks.

"Sorry, guys. I don't have much choice."

"This doesn't seem like a good idea." Bell says.

"Trust me, Bell. It is." Church says.

Caboose speaks up. "Church, uh. Wha-what happens when the Reds out here, to stop Tex, and then they come also with guns and they find us?"

"I'll try to help you as best I can." Church fades away. "Good luck, guys."

Caboose turns to Tucker. "Does this mean I should try to kill Church now?"

"Please, don't." Bell quickly says.

Tucker turns to Caboose. "I'll tell you what, kill me. I promise not to come back."

"Please don't kill him, then I would be the leader of Blue Team and have to do so much paper work."

"Isn't Church the leader of Blue Team?" Tucker asks.

"Yes, but on paper he's dead, and you're the leader. But he's a ghost and still leads us."

"Hey!" Caboose yells. "LOOK AT THIS." Caboose looks at Donut through the sniper scope. 

"No." Tucker says.

"They have A GIRL." Caboose says. "They have a girl!"

"A what?"

"A girl, a girl! Look! Pink armor!"

"Oh, man, how come they get a girl?"

Bell is staring at them from off to the side. "But, I'm a girl."

Tex looks up at Tucker and Caboose. "Uh, you guys realize that Bell and I are chicks, right? And that I'm stand' right here?"

"Yeah, Tex, but when we say girl, we mean a girl-girl." Tucker says.

"And what the hell does that mean."

Caboose and Tucker: (backing up from the edge of cliff, out of Tex's sight) Nothing!

Tucker: Wait a second. If Tex heard that, do you think she heard Church's secret plan to warn the Reds about her?

Caboose: I don't know... but I think I know how to find out.

Caboose steps back up to the edge, looking down at Tex

Caboose: Hey...! Tex! Uh... Did you hear Church's secret plan to tell the Reds that you were fixing the tank?

Tex turns back to the tank then Caboose backs up to join Tucker.

Caboose: I don't think she knows. (fade to black) ...Unless she can read minds... She can't read minds, can she? ...Can you hear what I'm thinking?

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01-24-2023

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