Chapter 147: ~Chapter 53~ Part 1

"Hi, I'm back!" I announced my entrance as usual as I reappeared in the classroom. By this point Judy was so used to my Phasing antics she barely batted an eye at my sudden arrival.

"It took a—" she began, only to abruptly stop her sentence as she looked me over, and then she asked, "Where's the tracksuit?"

"Oh, that?" I glanced down and tugged at the sleeves of my jacket on purpose. "I figured I should get rid of any possible physical evidence ASAP, so I hopped over to the secret base and asked Karukk to dispose of it."

My dear assistant spent several long seconds scrutinizing me, from my shoes to the top of my head. Once she finished with that, she looked me in the eye and asked, with the utmost seriousness, "Are you sure you didn't do it to hide the rips and blood stains?"

I had to think for a long moment to figure out what she meant by that, but then I awarded her a flat glance and stressed, "I did not get into any incidents, so no, there were no blood stains to hide. I told you I would be super-careful, didn't I?"

"You did," she stated, and then after a long beat, she stood up from her desk, walked over to my side, and then began mechanically patting my shoulder with the words, "Good job. Good job."

"Um... Thanks?" I uttered in mild confusion, at which point she immediately stopped and took a step back.

"On a separate note, it's been exactly thirty-six minutes since you left."

"Yeah, I know. Sorry for making you wait, but I had to make the best of this opportunity."

Judy accepted my apology with a soft grunt and she simultaneously began to pack away the books on her desk. I watched over her for a while, but she didn't seem to want to ask the obvious question, so I decided to poke her a little.

"Soooo? Aren't you curious about what I found?"

"A little," she admitted with some reservation.

"Then why aren't you asking me about it?"

"Because you're going to tell me anyway," she stated just as she finished packing and locked her bag. Her answer felt just a tad unsatisfying, so after weighing my options, I decided to employ the dreaded disappointed puppy eyes. My girlfriend gave me a skeptical look in return, but at last she relented with a sigh. "Fine, I'll ask. What did you find?"

"Another plot device!" I declared with a grin so wide it made the corners of my mouth hurt a little.

"… Of course you did," she uttered with just a touch of resignation in her voice before she picked up her bag and added, "Tell me about it on the way home."

"Actually, I had something else in mind," I stated after I decided to hold back on elaborating. I walked over to my own desk and slung my bag over my shoulder, then as I returned to her side I told her, "Just to be safe, I think we should Phase over to the secret base. You know, just in case someone would note that we left late and draw some wildly reaching yet annoyingly accurate connection between that and some things missing from the old man's study."

"Please tell me you didn't actually steal from the Arch-mage's office…"

"Technically? No. Do you remember the door beside the old coot's liqueur cabinet?" Judy was thrown off the rails for a moment, but then she quickly nodded. In retrospect, I was the silly one to ask. Of course she'd remember; she had a terrifyingly good eidetic memory. Anyhow, I quickly continued with, "That door leads to the archives of the School, so technically it wasn't from the office. I took photos of everything that looked remotely interesting with my phone, but there was one thing that was way too important to just let it gather dust there."

I could practically see the gears turning inside my girlfriend's head, and after a short while she uttered, "You took the plot device."

It wasn't a question, but a statement of fact. What can I say? She knew me too well.

"Yep. I left it in the base too. Come on, I'll show you." I gestured for her to come closer so that we could Phase out, but she only stared at my feet. I followed her gaze, and after a few long seconds of silence I added, "Don't worry about the indoor shoes. Knowing our luck, we would totally bump into Armband Guy on our way to the lockers."

"True," she finally relented, only to then have her eyes climb up my body and settle on the top of my head instead. "Please lean forward a little. You have balaclava-hair."

"What the heck is 'balaclava-hair'?" I mumbled under my breath, but it didn't mean I wouldn't comply and let my girlfriend straighten my hairdo.

"There you go," she declared in a satisfied voice as she crossed her arms and observed her handiwork. "Now you won't embarrass me in front of the Fauns."

"I don't think they really care," I responded, just a smidgen self-consciously. That said, being the only embarrassed person in the room was against my core principles, so I used the opportunity to lean even closer and plant a quick peck on my girlfriend's forehead. I flashed a cheeky smile at her and quickly added, "Thanks, Dormouse."

"You… are welcome," Judy answered with a level voice, but the small pause and the fact that the tips of her ears were getting flushed told me that I was successful.

I let out a content little chuckle and, without any further ado, I used my free hand (plus one intangible appendage) to embrace her, and after a brief moment of transitioning through the space filled with audibly colorful tastes and the last digits of irrational numbers, the scenery changed around us without any issues. We stood within the workshop section of the main hall inside the underground base, and I could already hear the grunty-snappy-clangy sounds of the Fauns training nearby.

"[Welcome back, Sir Blackcloak.]" I was immediately greeted by Karukk practically the moment we arrived, and the fact that he also took my sudden appearance in stride was a testament to how often I've used him as my anchor point when Phasing. He was wearing the same leather apron that Brang wore during our last meeting, and he had an antique-looking knife in one hand and a normal-sized whetstone in the other, both of which looked comically tiny between his huge fingers. He hurriedly put them down onto a nearby workbench and then flashed a friendly smile at us that made Judy twitch in my arms. "[You weren't kidding when you said you'd be back soon.]"

"[Aye,]" I responded with just a smidgen of irritation as I let go of my girfriend (who then proceeded to unsubtly hide behind me), and I added, "[Unless my memory fails me, I can recall with the clarity of crystal water that I requested that you would cease addressing me by my unwanted title, let alone broaden its weight by the needless attachment of honorifics.]"

"[Ah, about that…"] The slightly-more-casual-than-average Faun awkwardly scratched the base of his neck, and after a long moment of silence he sheepishly admitted, "[Since you're the regent, it would be rude to call you without an honorific… sir.]"

I stared at him with all the skepticism I could muster, but even under my ocular assault, he seemed entirely serious, so I ended up exhaling a shallow sigh and said, "[If that is the case, since you have already vested undue authority in my person, could I request to at the very least cease referring to me as The One Cloacked In Black?]"

"[I… think that's a bad idea,]" Karukk mumbled, and then after a moment of hesitation he leaned closer and whispered, "[I wouldn't mind, but the general told us to give you all courtesies, and if I accidentally didn't call you that, he would get really mad at me.]"

"[… Is your general that harsh?]"

"[He is a little… old fashioned about these things,]" he stated as diplomatically as I have ever seen him speak.

"[Fine then,]" I gave up with a small grumble and made a show out of looking around for a moment. "[Where may I find the items which I recently recovered?]"

"[They should be right where you left them,]" Karukk answered while gesturing towards the recreational area with his head.

"[In that case, we shall head over and leave you to your task.]"

He gave us a deferential nod in response, after which he picked up the whetstone and resumed his tinkering with the dagger. With that, Judy and I walked over to the other end of the hall, and it was only when we already passed by the air hockey table that she let go of the back of my jacket.

"Are you still afraid of the Fauns?" I teased her a little, yet to my surprise, she actually nodded.

"A little," she admitted while conspicuously averting her eyes.

"But why? They aren't actually scary."

"Maybe to you, but they didn't chase you around in a dark school building at night," she countered, and for a moment I didn't know what to say.

"Well… um… touché?" Based on the tiny little twitch around her eyes, that wasn't the response she was looking for, so I cleared my throat and continued with, "That said, while I admit they look pretty fearsome, so long as you're with me and Snowy, they would probably sooner take a bullet for you than hurt you in any way."

"You think so?"

"Yep," I answered with a huge nod. "In fact, the worst thing they could ever do to you would be if, once they digest the fact that we're dating, they would start calling you something silly, like consort regent or the like."

"Really?" Judy paused for a moment, and then mused, "I'm personally more partial towards the term 'queen regent'."

"Oh, yes, I can totally see it before my eyes," I replied as I raised my hands into the air as if looking at a painted portrait in a gallery, "And here she is, Queen Regent Dormouse the First. Just rolls off the tongue."

"Says Regent Leonard S. Blackcloak Dunning the Growler," she jabbed back as she reached out and held onto my hand with two fingers. At first I was a little confused about the last part, but then I figured that she was probably trying to pinch me for teasing her too much. It only tickled a little, but as a good boyfriend, I pretended that it was effective and pulled my hand away with a perfectly natural and not at all overacted hiss.

In the meantime we reached the bar, and when we arrived, my dear assistant immediately sent me a skeptical glance.

"Didn't you say you only took your alleged 'plot device'?"

"I did."

"Then what is that stack of papers?" she asked as she gestured towards the hastily piled up documents on the bar top.

"I technically didn't 'take' those," I explained as I picked up the whole stack and began to organize them. "The archive had an old photocopy machine, and I used it to make copies of a bunch of documents while I searched the place."

"That's slightly more reasonable than expected. Consider yourself praised."

"Thanks, I think?" I responded a little uncertainly, but she didn't pay much attention to my words.

"So? What are these documents about?" Judy inquired as she tried to take a peek at the papers in my hands, so I handed them over to her.

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"I don't really know, to be honest. I found the originals in a safe, so I just threw them into the feeder on the top of the machine and started hunting for other interesting things while it did its work."

"In a safe," she repeated after me as she glanced up from skimming the pages. "Please tell me you didn't accidentally find the combination on the first try."

"Nah. Not everything can be as conveniently low-security as the Celestial Hub," I answered with a small smirk as I recalled the memory, but then I lightly shook my head and followed up by saying, "Actually, I take that back; this time the security was even poorer. It wasn't even locked."

"Seriously?"

She looked just about as incredulous as I was when I grabbed hold of the safe door and it opened on its own.

"Apparently Lord Grandpa had so much faith in the room's magical defenses he became pretty sloppy with everything else. I'm not even sure there was a lock on the door leading into the archives."

"You're right. That's astronomically sloppy."

"Yep," I concurred, after which we both fell silent for a while as Judy continued to browse the pages in her hands. From the outside it might've looked like she was only skimming the pages, but I knew better.

In the meantime, I walked around her and quickly found the other thing that I 'borrowed' during my excursion. It was a tiny, outwardly inconspicuous wooden box, and it was sitting on the bar top, exactly where I left it. It was small enough to fit snugly in one hand, and it was covered in glowing blue patterns forming interlocking circles with various runic symbols in them. According to the Faun, said circles and symbols were completely invisible to the naked eye, and Karukk even thought it was a simple music box.

"Is that the 'plot device'?" Judy inquired as she glanced up from her reading, and I nodded in the affirmative.

"Yeah, this was also in the safe. Or rather, in a secret compartment within the safe, but same difference."

"Was it also left unlocked?"

"No," I answered just a bit more brightly. "It was a magical lock, so I used my Phantom Limb to check the enchantment, read the keyword, and then unlocked the compartment using it. Easy-peasy."

My dearest assistant rewarded my comment with a flat look, and after setting her bundle of photocopied documents aside she dramatically rubbed her forehead and told me, "Chief, this phantom limb of yours is too much of a cheat. If Joshua wouldn't already have the position, it would make you the obvious protagonist of this world."

"Don't even joke about that; I have enough problems as is," I chided her, and then I raised the box to eye level and explained, "This box is nothing particularly special. I could probably disable the sealing enchantments on it in a couple of minutes without forcefully breaking them. The interesting thing is what's inside it."

"Then why haven't you opened it yet?"

"Because it has a lock," I responded by pointing at the tiny keyhole on the front of the box. "It looks really cheap, so once the magical protection is removed, I think you could open it with a simple hairpin, but I obviously didn't have any with me at the time."

"Then how do you know what's…?" she started to ask, but then stopped and instead she said, "You stuck your Phantom Limb through the keyhole and poked the item inside."

"Close enough," I told her between two chuckles, and I couldn't hold myself back from rubbing her clever noggin with my free hand. "I simply slipped it through the box itself, no keyhole required. Intangibility has a lot of neat perks like that."

"I see," Judy responded in an unusually docile voice, and on a second look, she appeared to be in a comfortable daze. Maybe I should pet her more, I considered? I mean, we were both petting Snowy a lot, so I kept forgetting that Judy was also an eligible target for head pats. I decided to rectify this grievous oversight in the future, but for now, we had more important things to worry about, so after one last tousle, I unhanded her and posed a question to her.

"Anyhow, do you remember the non-prophecy of the magi?"

"The Conduit of the Grimoire of the Last Truth," Judy replied in detail even though a single yes or no would've been enough. She glanced at the box in my hand and asked, "Is that the titular Grimoire inside?"

"Nah, it's not. It's some sort of small, hexagonal key covered in jewels, but based on the enchantment and how vitally important it is, they seem to be related."

"So it's one of the Grimoire Keys," my assistant stated as if it was completely obvious.

"Um… yes. Definitely," I told her with a confident nod, but she saw through me right away.

"You have no idea what that is," she declared without even bothering to stick a ',right?' to the end of her sentence to dampen the impact a little.

"I think I've read about something like that on the Hub, but no, I'm afraid not," I admitted straight away, and she let out a disappointed sigh that hurt my pride a little, so I quickly continued with, "Come on Dormouse! You know I don't have your photographic memory! Please cut me some slack!"

She apparently did so, as she took a shallow breath and moved on, without dwelling on the issue.

"The Grimoire of the Last Truth is hidden away by the Assembly. To access it, one would need two of the three keys, which are held by the three most senior members of the organization."

"And Lord Grandpa is one of the key-keepers." I shook the box in my hand and added, "Or at least he was. This should serve as a pretty nice bargaining chip in the future."

"Maybe," Judy stated, yet I could feel a 'but' coming, and lo and behold… "But we are talking about one of the only three keys for the most important treasure of the Assembly. Stealing it like this might lead to some dire consequences."

"It's a good thing I was careful about it, then," I noted with a reassuring smile. It didn't work on her, but hey, who can fault me for trying? "Not to mention, what's done is done. I couldn't properly mark the old coot, so I can't take it back even if I wanted to." It was obvious Judy was still far from reassured, so I also added, "On a more optimistic note, I wouldn't worry too much about him discovering it's missing any time soon. According to the enchantment on it, the hidden compartment of the safe wasn't used in years."

"In that case, let's hope you're right and you didn't accidentally cause another international incident."

"Don't worry, Dormouse. I don't plan on holding onto this for long. I mean, unless Josh suddenly decides to stop setting the flags of my sister and turn his attention to the Class Rep, the Grimoire of the Last Whatchamacallit is useless to us. Once Josh catches Labcoat Guy, I plan to use this as our trump card during negotiations to pressure the old man, and after that, I'll exchange it for a favor or something. For example…" I paused for a moment to get my phone out and showed Judy a couple of the pictures I took. "Look how much data there is! And not just boring old ledgers either; I found an entire section dedicated to magic theory and experimental records! This place is an absolute treasure-trove of the kind of info we need the most!"

"Do you want to blackmail the Arch-mage into granting you entry to the archives?"

"First off, don't make it sound so immoral. Secondly, I plan on earning 'us' entry, to be precise. Having access to a lot of data about magic should help a ton when it comes to understanding what's magical and what's just run-of-the-mill trope weirdness in this world. It would also cut down on the number of experiments we'd have to run in the future. A lot. I'm also relying on you to do the organizing, as usual."

"Sounds reasonable, but I don't like how you're ditching the boring part of the job onto me again."

That ever-so-slightly sulky comment made me pause for a moment, and then I hastily told her, "I mean… we both know you're much better at this part than I am, but if you don't want to do it alone, just say the word and I'll come and help you."

"I'll do that then." After she said that, she fell silent for a brief while, but then her eyes suddenly lit up and quickly added, "However, I want compensation in advance."

"… I sooooo knew you were going to say that."

"Hush, Chief. Don't ruin the skit," she warned me, but I shook my head.

"Let's skip the skit for now. How about we take a look at the papers I photocopied instead?"

"I already did," Judy told me with the tiniest of pouts.

"Oh? And?"

My still sulky yet very dedicated girlfriend let out a small huff, but she still picked up the bundle of documents all the same, and after leafing through them, she picked out three pages and showed them to me.

"These are a contract between Lord Endymonion and a certain Friedrich Günther Wissenschaftler. He seems to be a high-ranking member of the Non-causative Science Research Society."

"Eh, that's just Labcoat Guy's real name," I revealed without much fanfare, much to my dear assistant shock and complete bafflement, which she was hiding really well behind an exasperated façade that said 'How come this is the first time I've ever heard of this?'.

"I was under the impression he was called Doctor Robatto," she noted with a mixture of her previous sulkiness and some resignation.

"That's just a fake name for the Sentai-shenanigans. Anyhow, let me take a look at this." She handed me over the pages, and just by quickly skimming them, I could tell they fit our observations to a tee. There was even a side-clause about using Armband Guy as a point of contact to relay messages during the 'operation', and the rules of when and how Josh could be ambushed were spelled out in black and white. "Look at that! Yet another piece of juicy blackma—*cough*, I mean, evidence against the old man… but why does it feel like half of it is missing?"

"Because you only copied one side of the pages," Judy told me and pointed at the numbering on the bottom of the sheets. "It goes from one to three to five."

"Ugh… You're right…" I acknowledged, once again embarrassed by her observation. "In my defense, I was in a bit of a hurry, and I didn't check the photocopier settings. Also, we have the last page with the signatures, so it should still be good enough."

"I agree."

After she said that, there was a few seconds of unusually tense silence in the air, so I forcefully cleared my throat and proposed, "Anyhow, I just checked, and Snowy is home. How about we go back and—"

"Spend some quality couple time together without doing anything risky, tedious, or something that would cause a supernatural political scandal?" Judy cut in before I could finish my sentence, and based on the look she was giving me, she was entirely serious.

"… Yes, that's exactly what I wanted to do," I agreed, just a little overwhelmed, but then I quickly perked up when I remembered something and I immediately gave my girlfriend a hug. "Not to mention, I believe I do owe you an evening watching the sappiest romantic comedy on the planet…"

And with that, we both disappeared from the secret base, and not even my dearest assistant pinching my forearm could wipe the wicked grin off my face.

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