Chapter 151: ~Chapter 54~ Part 1

I never thought I'd agree with Josh's old sentiment, but it was true: once exposed to enough strange things, it was the simple days of mundane, everyday life that would start feeling uncanny instead. Take this day for example.

It was already after school, with most of the placeholder classmates well on their way home, yet absolutely nothing unusual happened till now. No sudden info dumps by random creeps, no unexpected knightly transfer students, no silly and yet extremely dramatic invasion by super-intelligent penguins in flying saucers, no nothing. Everything was so peaceful and normal that it was straight-up weird.

But then again, maybe the day was only preparing itself, hiding its reserves of cuckoo-for-cocoo-puffs absurdity until the very last moment, only to suddenly strike once we were fully lulled into a false sense of security. As such, we could all agree it was best to be prepared and ever vigilant.

"Oh, man..." my nervously fidgeting friend whispered under his breath, and after giving him a glance, I had to revise my previous statement. Being vigilant was certainly very important, yet everything had to be done in moderation, and Josh was waaaaaay past that point.

"Relax," I said as I fully turned in my chair and faced the guy behind me. All of our classmates have already left the premises, which included the gang as well, so it was only the two of us waiting for the disciplinary committee to contact us. I thought it would be a nice change of pace, yet Josh looked like he was about to crack under the pressure, so I noted, "You're acting like you're going into a life or death battle."

"It might not be life-or-death, but it is a battle... kinda..." he countered between two sneaky glances towards the annoying sliding doors of the classroom.

"You say that as if you've never been in one of those," I pointed out, earning me a scoff from him.

"But this is the first time I'm an aggressor. It's different."

"Is it really that different though? Is it?" I responded in a contemplative tone.

"It is to me," my friend held defiantly. At the end of the day, I decided it wasn't worth arguing over, so I shrugged my shoulders in acquiescence.

"Fine, then it is. It's still no reason to be this nervous."

"But I don't know what I'm supposed to do," he... well, I don't want to say he whined per se, because that would've been rude, but he pretty much did, so I'll leave it at that. Josh also looked like he wanted me to say something, but since I steadfastly maintained my silence, he finally blurted out, "Are you sure you can't come along?"

Oh? So that's what this whole agonizing act was for. Unfortunately, as much as I wanted to see the gathering of the placeholder creeps get raided, I had to decline.

"I already told you that I have other things to do. Not to mention, this is your chance to get on the good side of Armband Guy, so you should just stick to him and follow his lead."

"I know, but..." he began, but then his words trailed off into indistinct mumbling, so I decided to throw him a bone.

"How about this: imagine all the upskirt shots and other voyeur photos they are sharing there. Does it make you annoyed?"

"... Yes," he responded curtly, with just a hint of skepticism in his voice.

"Does it make you angry?"

"... A little."

"If so then take that anger and let it build up. Then, when you arrive there, just let it flow through you with a 'JOSH SMASH!' and destroy them all."

"And then?"

Now it was my turn to give a skeptical look.

"And then everything is smashed and everyone lived happily ever after. The end."

"That's it!?" Josh suddenly burst out after, and I shrugged my shoulders once again.

"What were you expecting?"

"Some wise, old, mentory advice for one. Something that would actually help me," my friend grumbled, and this time he earned himself a proper scowl.

"Cut it out with the 'mentor' crap, I don't want to die just yet. Also, I have helped you. You aren't nearly as nervous anymore, are you?"

"I'm not?" he blurted out, only to pause right after that and then repeat himself, this time with palpable bemusement. "I'm not. Huh. How does that work?"

"It's just simple, run-of-the-mill psychology, my young friend," I answered just a smidgen smugly.

"Don't you mean 'my young padawan'?" he shot back with a provocative smirk on his lips, and I was just about to threaten him with filling his pie hole with his pencil case for his continued mentorisms when the classroom's door slid open and drew our attention.

We both expected that it would be Armband Guy, yet contrary to our preconceptions, the one stepping into the room was Angie of all people. This time she had her hair in a ponytail, and instead of her uniform, she was dressed in a loose white tank top, a short pleated skirt, sneakers, and a pair of thick, scrunchy pink long socks that reached up to her knees.

She immediately locked onto us the moment she entered and she jogged to our side with sparkling eyes.

"Thank god, you didn't go home yet!" she exclaimed before she came to a halt and turned a pleading eye to her childhood friend. "Jooooooosh? Could you help me? Pretty pleeeeeease?"

Oh, wow. She even fluttered her eyelashes when she asked. Maybe Judy got the idea from her? Putting that aside, I decided to speak up. If someone had to rain on her parade, I figured I might as well do it myself.

"Sorry, but Josh already has something to do."

"Do you guys have some plans for the afternoon?" the Celestial girl asked as she turned her attention to me, only to turn back when Joshua gave her the answer.

"No. I just have some business with the disciplinary committee."

"Are you in trouble?"

"Nah. Josh just volunteered to help Armband Guy round up some nasty baddies doing secret dealings in the school," I supplied the answer, and it ignited an excited light in her eyes right away.

"Whoa! Is it a sting operation? Like in those police dramas?"

"Nah, I'm not going undercover. I just help the disciplinary committee because… erm… let's just say I have a personal stake in getting rid of some contraband and the like and stuff…"

The tail end of Josh's explanation inexplicably turned into awkward mumbling as he averted his eyes, yet his childhood friend didn't seem to mind.

"So you're just going to help catch them? That's cool too!" She flashed a toothy grin at us, but then it just as quickly withered as she began to ponder. "So you really can't help me, huh? What about you, Leo? Are you going to strike the criminal element down with the iron fist of justice too?"

"That's an unnecessarily flowery way to put it but no, I..." 'have other plans' is what I wanted to say, but before I could do so, she all of a sudden jumped in front of me and gave me the puppiest of all puppy eyes I have ever seen. She even clasped her hands in front of her chest and everything.

"Leeeeeoooo? Could you help me? Pretty pleeeeeease?"

I awarded her repeat performance with a flat look, but she continued to stare me in the eyes all the same, her gaze full to the brim with expectation, so I could only sigh and say, "Depends. What do you need help with?"

"Yesss!" she softly exclaimed with a small fist pump, as if the deal was already in the bag, and then she rapidly explained, "There's going to be a local tournament in two weeks, so the club is having extra practice in the afternoon. We have this really cool pitching machine in the gym storage, but it's kinda heavy..."

"So you need me to haul it to the tennis court," I guessed, and she nodded right away.

"Yes." She paused here for a long moment, then she did that weird gesture where she repeatedly joined and then pulled apart the tips of her index fingers as she meekly added, "Also, we need you to assemble it. Oh, and if you could turn it on and show us how it works, it would be super cool."

"... And pray tell, just how am I supposed to show you how to use your own club's equipment, which, I must point out, I've never even seen?"

"Don't be silly!" Angie replied between giggles as she swiped at me, her earlier display of shyness disappearing as quickly as it came. "You are a boy! Boys know all about technology and stuff!"

I rewarded the enthusiastic Celestial with a look flatter than the salt plains.

"What you just said is no doubt some kind of '-ism'. I don't know what kind yet, but the moment I figure it out, I'm going to make a hashtag on the internet out of it, and you're going to feel really stupid."

"Pfff. Hashtags are soooo last year," she dismissed me with an irreverent wave of her hand.

"Don't tell me you didn't know?" Josh barged into the conversation with a voice dripping with fake shock. "I thought everyone knew the internet was just a fad..."

"Yeah!" Angie readily agreed, followed by several quick nods. "Nobody is doing interneting anymore! Everyone moved on to… um… wombat racing! Yes, that's the new hip thing right now!"

"I can't believe you are so behind the times. I feel ashamed for you," Josh mumbled as he dramatically wiped the corners of his eyes.

I waited for them to quiet down, then I asked, "Are you two finished?" The childhood friend duo shared a not at all subtle look between each other, so I hastily raised a palm and added, "Just so you know, depending on your answer, I might have to call Brang and tell him that you can't keep your comic book collection in the secret base after all."

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"Hey! That's a blatant abuse of power!" Angie raised her voice in (what I presumed to be mock) horror, and I shook my head with a smirk befitting the situation.

"I'm not abusing anything, I'm just stating the facts. Take it or leave it." I waited for her to respond, but the friendly neighborhood Celestial only kept glaring at me with her cheeks puffed out like a chipmunk's. I kept up the staring contest for a couple of seconds, but then I noticed that she wasn't breathing and that her face was getting purple, so I decided to be the bigger man and said, "Oh, fine. I'll help you take out the pitching machine, but I make no promises after that. Are you happy now?"

Her expression immediately turned on a dime, as usual, and her angry pout was swiftly replaced by a beaming grin.

"Thanks, Leo, you're the best! Or at least you would be if you weren't such a tyrant, so... Second best?"

I gave her a look that unambiguously said 'Can it.', but it only made her giggle again. Anyhow, since I promised already, I stood up and grabbed my bag before I addressed my still sitting friend.

"I'll go to help the tennis club then. Break a leg."

Josh frowned at my well-wishes and mumbled, "Thanks, but... why is wishing someone to break their leg a good thing again?"

"'Cuz idioms are weird?" I proposed, and based on the small grunt he gave in response, he apparently agreed.

Anyways, we said our goodbyes and I followed Angie out of the classroom. She took the lead, since I didn't know where the machine was stored, yet the moment we reached the first floor, she immediately slowed down and sidled up to me. I figured she wanted to talk, so I matched her pace, and the moment I did so, she immediately directed a suspiciously innocent upturned glance at me.

"Sooo... How's it going?"

I wasn't sure what she meant by that, but I decided to answer as well as I could.

"Well, I mostly recovered from my enchantment-fatigue, and preparations for dealing with our recurring bad guy are proceeding relatively smoothly, so I can't really complain."

"That's neat, but to be honest with you, I was more interested in how things are going with your girlfriends."

My eyes narrowed into a small, suspicious frown before I knew it, and I inquired, "Which part are you curious about?"

After our unexpected and slightly baffling discussion yesterday, Judy seemed to be really hell-bent on blowing my middling interest in recreational procreation activities out of proportion, to the point she was having 'emergency meetings' with the princess in every single recess. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't slightly apprehensive about the contents of their discussions, but I figured they would confront me sooner or later anyway, and there was no point worrying about the inevitable. The real question was whether Angie was sent by them to sneakily test the waters, or she noticed their recent behavior and she was worried and/or curious on her own.

In the meantime, the Celestial girl thought long and hard about how to answer my question with a finger on her lips, and she ultimately told me, "Please don't take this the wrong way, but… you know that what you guys are doing is weird, right? I mean, if someone told me some guy's openly dating two girls at the same time, I would totally go 'Pff, that will never work out!'."

"Well, I guess, but—"

"It is, right? And yet here you are, happy as a bunch of peas in a pod! It's crazy weird!"

"Wait, that was the part that you found—"

"Right!" she interrupted me before I could finish my sentence, and she continued with, "Like, before you three started going out, there was always this tension between Judy and Elly, but then it all went 'Poof!', they just got along all of a sudden the moment you started dating! It's incredible!"

"I wouldn't really—"

"I still can't believe how you managed to pull it off! I was afraid that it would make things difficult, or there would be fights in the group because of it, but you've been going steady for two weeks already, and instead, the two of them are besties now, and you three look super-adorable together!"

"Um… Thanks, I th—"

"So… What I'm trying to ask is… You know, I'm just kinda curious how you do it? Is there some kind of secret trick to make your relationship work with more than one girlfriend?"

This was the point when I realized that Angie's angle was very different from what I originally expected. She apparently wasn’t sent by my girlfriends, nor did she notice their conspiratorial huddles, but instead she wanted insider info on how to make a polyamorous relationship work. Considering that she already showed interest in the idea in the past, I couldn't help but wonder; could it be that she was sneakily aiming for a harem-ending? Considering Josh was favoring Snowy as of late, it wasn't impossible that she also decided to follow Judy's odd take on the prisoner's dilemma.

… But then again, Angie never really struck me as the type who would put that much thought into things, so maybe she just wanted to give it a try because I created a precedent? Not to mention, it wasn't like the option wasn't on the table from the beginning, considering how polygamy-friendly this theoretical battle harem world proved to be.

Anyhow, it was rude to keep her waiting… so I did just that. I mean, she cut me off four times in a row, so it was only fair. I pretended to be deep in thought to allow her to stew in her own juices for a while, and we almost reached the gym by the time I decided I should speak up.

"There really isn't a trick to it," I told her, and she immediately frowned at me.

"Come on, Leo! Don't be like that! I swear I won't tell anyone about your secret!"

"But there really is no secret," I doubled down, and I have to admit I was a little taken aback by her insistence.

"I don't believe that. You must do something special to keep a relationship like that afloat."

"I really don't though. My job is just to spread my affection equally and not play favorites. If anything, it's the girls who are the ones responsible for keeping our relationship working as intended."

"Really?" she suddenly perked up again, but since we just reached the gym storeroom, I waited for her to unlock the door before I answered.

"Yep. I just have to do my best to be a doting boyfriend; they are the ones who have to put up with the inconvenience of sharing my attention between the two of them. After all, if they said no from the beginning, there's no matter how hard I would've tried, we couldn't have ever gotten to where we are right now. It's all thanks to them."

"So it's really up to the girls…" Angie whispered under her breath, followed by a determined nod, and the way she was obviously making a mental note of my words immediately confirmed my suspicions.

I secretly wished her luck in her romantic endeavors, but I still added, "To be fair though, the fact that Elly's family is surprisingly supportive also helps a lot."

"What about Judy's parents?" she asked absentmindedly as she scanned the insides of the storeroom for the machine, completely unaware of the fact that her question was the verbal equivalent of dumping a bucket of cold water over my head.

"They don't know yet, I think…" she instantly glanced over her shoulder at me, so I hastily added, "I mean, I believe Judy told them we're dating, they just don't know about the whole polyamory thing."

"You really didn't tell them?"

She sounded way more dumbfounded than necessary, to the point I started to feel a little uncomfortable.

"Hey, cut me some slack. Judy's dad is scary."

"How so?"

"He has a gun," I muttered, belatedly realizing that explaining it as simply as that sounded like a poor excuse even to myself.

"Elly's dad is a pureblood Draconian," Angie countered, and I could only shake my head. "That's waaaaaay scarier than a gun."

"Yeah, but he's also a friendly goofball. Judy's father is more on the overprotective side. I can deal with supernatural shenanigans, but a normal guy with a gun is a different matter."

"That sounds tough, buddy," the cheerful Celestial told me while mechanically patting my shoulder. "Keep up the good work, and I'm sure things will work out."

"Very amusing." I brushed her off and looked around as well. "More importantly, where's the machine?"

Angie must have interpreted my attempt to get on with the business we came here to do as my way to closing the previous topic, as she also completely ceased any further attempts at inquiring about my love life. As for said business, we found the pitching machine in its original packaging under a bunch of miscellaneous gym equipment, and it was considerably lighter than I expected.

Once I managed to dig it out, my first question was naturally, "Where's the user's manual?"

"Don't be silly, Leo! Boys don't need manuals! You're just supposed to know how to operate this!"

"That's still not how it works. Also, I still think what you said is some kind of '-ist'," I grumbled as I hefted the box and we headed outside. I still hoped that maybe there was an instruction pamphlet somewhere in the bottom, but since I was going to unpack it once we got outside anyway, I figured I could leave searching for it until then. With that in mind, I walked outside, followed by a giggling Celestial, only to stop and ask, "What's the time?"

"Huh? I don't have my phone with me, but I don't hear the track club, so it's not four o'clock yet."

"Really? Then I better hurry up," I said as I began to walk with some extra spring in my steps.

"Wha-? Hey, slow down! Leo!" Angie tried to follow after me, but in the end, she had no choice but to start jogging to catch up. "Uuuu! You are cheating! Your legs are too long!"

"Are you sure it's not your legs that are too short?"

Instead of answering, she lightly punched me in the shoulder, and we both stifled a laugh as we scurried along.

As for why I was in a hurry? Well, let's just say that after this detour, I had a very important appointment with a certain school nurse. One that he didn't know about yet…

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