When I arrived at the Dracis mansion, I was immediately thrown off-balance by a cacophony of voices. Also, it was pitch black all around me, though my eyes adapted to that one far quicker than my ears did to the noise. I came over in a hurry and didn't really have the spare time to observe the situation before jumping into the middle of it, but I seriously didn't expect to see all of the household's maids, cooks, and other assorted personnel stuffed into a single room like sardines. They all looked… well, not exactly frightened, but at the very least tense. On the bright side, I couldn't see any injured among them. There was also a low, arrhythmic thumping noise in the air, and everyone in the room was so focused on its source that only a few of them even noticed my arrival.
"I said no!" I was startled by Emese's sharp voice, and following it led my eyes to the only entrance of, what I belatedly realized to be, the poker room on the first floor.
"Ma'am, with all due respect..." the large, well-built man she just yelled at tried to speak up, but he was cut short by an angry scoff and what I presumed to be a commanding glare. I could only guess, since she was facing away from me. There were also a couple of other, similarly built men behind the speaker, all dressed in black suits and wearing sunglasses indoors, even though it was dark and two of them were even holding flashlights, and my honed trope-senses told me they were probably security.
Meanwhile, the draconic woman still pretending to be wheelchair-bound pointed a finger at the large, antique wardrobe still being held by two of the man's colleagues and told them, "That is an heirloom from my great-grandmother's time! You're explicitly forbidden to use it to build the barricade!"
Speaking of which, it finally registered with me that the thumping sound was coming from behind the group, or to be more precise, the heavy wooden doors currently held shut by the sheer bulk of three security guys.
"Then what can we use?" the man in the middle asked, and I decided this was as good a moment as any to make my presence known.
"Try the couch; it's pretty heavy," I advised, making everyone freeze up for a moment before mama Dracis whipped her head around to look at me over her shoulder with astonished eyes.
"Leo!" Her excited exclamation was accompanied by a surprised look that quickly morphed into an uncomprehending one. "Why are you here?"
"I was told there's trouble," I answered while walking over and carefully leaning onto one of the handles of her wheelchair. "Wasn't you the one who called Judy?"
"No, that would be me," came the answer from a new voice, and its owner promptly made her way out of the throng of servants and stood next to us.
The look Melinda was giving me was slightly suspicious, but I was more surprised that I saw no magical glow, and consequently no communication artifact on her, meaning the way she contacted my girlfriend almost certainly had to do with the ye olde brick phone in her hand. Just how exactly Judy got a mobile signal in a bomb shelter inside a mountain while I often had signal issues even in the middle of the city was one of the more mundane yet nonetheless mind-boggling mysteries of our existence.
Anyhow, I was quickly jolted out of my train of thought by another thud coming from the direction of the door, so I cleared my aching head with a shake and addressed the room in general.
"So, could any of you brief me on the situation?" After saying so, I paused for a few seconds, and then also added, "Moreover, while you're telling me, somebody should really start moving the couch already. I don't like the sounds the hinges are making."
"You heard him," Emese prompted the reserved security guys, and after they began to move, she turned in place to face me. "Did you know the accursed Knights would be attacking today?"
"No, I just learned about it too," I answered a little absent-mindedly while looking for something else to lean on, and I ultimately settled on a nearby chair.
"Then how come you're here?" Melinda leveled the question at me, which naturally earned her a 'Please read the situation and shut up' glare before I turned a considerably more amicable look at my self-appointed mother-in-law.
"It's a long and complicated story, and not exactly relevant at the moment. On the other hand, I'd really appreciate it if one of you could please start the explanation I asked for."
My words were further emphasized by yet another impeccably timed thud coming from the door, so the two draconian women shared a meaningful glance between each other, and ultimately decided to drop the issue of my sudden appearance.
"The assault started about half an hour ago," mama Dracis explained in a tone that didn't seem all that concerned with the circumstances. "It was ahead of schedule, but we already discussed what to do with the staff, so no one panicked. We couldn't erect a Restricted Space over the mansion because of their interference, and we couldn't evacuate either, so once the alarm sounded, we all headed to the safe room under the mansion."
"… I can't help but notice that we are not there," I noted, and Melinda quickly stepped forth to explain the discrepancy.
"Milady was on this floor when the accursed knights rammed through the front gates with their vehicle, so while the mansion's security held them back, we decided to move to her side instead."
"They cut the power cables before the attack, and without the elevator, carrying me down to the safe room on the stairs would've taken too long. These wheels are really inconvenient, aren't they?" Emese added in a light tone that didn't fit the severity of the situation at hand, but I decided to let it slide. Also, this finally explained why we were currently sitting in the dark. One mystery solved.
"So you came to this room instead and barricaded the entrance? Not a terrible idea, I suppose. It's a smaller room with only a single entrance and one window, so it's reasonably easy to mount a defense here. I have just one question though: why did you hole up here instead of fighting back?"
"I was under the impression the plan was that we lure the accursed knights in, and then hubby and Sebastian would hit them from the back," Emese explained. "I was also afraid that if we fought them head-on, we would cause a lot of damage to the building. It's better to wait for them, and then catch the enemy in a pincer-maneuver and quickly overwhelm them, right?"
I looked the woman seeking validation in the eye and replied with, "I don't want to burst your bubble, but I doubt they are going to make it. In fact, let me check."
"Check what?" Melinda inquired with narrowed eyes, but I ignored her for the time being and instead I focused on my Far Sight and glanced over to Abram's location.
"… Yeah, just as I expected," I murmured under my breath once I ascertained their situation. "Unfortunately, they are currently being held up by the Magi. They probably didn't know that the island is under lockdown and got caught when they tried to sneak back. It must've happened pretty recently too."
Emese looked like she wanted to know how I knew that, but then it was a different question that escaped her lips.
"Since when is the island under lockdown?"
"Long story." My answer made both the lady of the house and the chambermaid narrow their eyes with a frown, so I ultimately decided to elaborate a little. "Fine, here's the footnotes version: we tried to catch the guy who was ambushing us, he got away, he stole something from Lord Grandpa, and now the Magi are running around like headless chickens and don't let anyone off the island."
"That's… a problem," Melinda stated the obvious, but I didn't hold it against her.
"Yep. In short, instead of waiting for dad-in-law and Sebastian to come home any time soon, I think we have two options: you could either transform and fight back, or you could continue to stay on the defense, and instead we could call the police." Mama Dracis was giving me an unusually baffled look, so I clarified, "We aren't in a Purple Zone, so the knights actually broke into your real, real-space house. The police can't exactly ignore that, and since the knights cannot harm innocents, they would be forced to retreat so that they wouldn't get into conflict with the law."
"No," my self-imposed mother-in-law abruptly declared on no uncertain terms. "If law enforcement gets involved, it will leave a permanent record that could lead to us even after we move again, and removing that would require the help of the Magi. Our relationship with the Arch-mage might be cordial, but I don't want to be in his debt."
"Really? I thought it would be a rather elegant solution."
My stray comment was met with a frown, so I raised my hands in surrender.
"Fine, fine. When in Rome, do as the Romans do. This is your home, so if you want to deal with them without involving the authorities, then be my guest."
"That's right. This is our house, and we would be a laughing-stock if we couldn't protect it ourselves," Emese declared while beaming with dignity, which was only slightly marred by the clumsy way she tried to dramatically rise from her wheelchair.
"Fine then," I ended that part of the discussion, only to take a deep breath and reluctantly raise my voice again. "I have about three other places to be already, but I think I can spare a few minutes to help you out. First off, how many bad guys are we dealing with?"
"At least twelve squires," came the answer from an unexpected source as the main security guy walked up to us. Apparently, they have finished building their barricade, which looked a tad flimsy, yet it was holding out well enough, so I probably shouldn't complain. Once he was sure everyone's attention was on him, he continued in a grave voice. "We've also confirmed the presence of no less than two Entitled Knights."
I almost asked what he meant by that, but I managed to swallow the words back as the hamster-wheel operated gears and pulleys I jokingly call a brain managed to drag the term out of the bottom of my memory. According to one of Judy's reports I read not too long ago, the Knights with the Long Ass Name didn't have centralized leadership; in its stead, certain members held specific titles in the organization, usually passed down in the family or to apprentices. Normally each of these 'entitled knights' operated their own little clandestine circle of operatives, and whenever an important issue came up that required the whole organization to act, they would come together and vote on the issue, probably while standing around a round table inside an old European castle or something.
I could also recall that they actually used to have a proper leader who was supposed to hold the whole organization together, but he passed away a few hundred years ago and left their super-special-awesome sword embedded in a suitably stereotypical magical rock. Insert typical Arthurian tropes about pulling out said sword here. More importantly though, the 'entitled knights' were more or less the equivalent of mini-bosses, with specialized magical gear and unique skill-sets, so fighting them face-to-face was just a tad too dangerous. There was also something else I remembered finding odd about them, but I couldn’t recall what it was at the moment. I blamed the headache.
"Which named ones are here?"
My absent-minded inquiry was answered by Melinda.
"I've seen one of them from a distance, and based on the armor he was wearing, he was most likely the Griffon Knight."
"Oh," I exhaled in surprise as her words further jogged my memory.
The last important thing about the entitled knights was that they were each named after some animal, either mythical or real, and their namesake was part of their insignia. It was kind of a cringy thing if you asked me. I mean, 'Blackcloak' was bad enough, but I'd probably drop dead from embarrassment if someone called me 'Sir Leonard Dunning, the Hippopotamus Knight' or somesuch.
Emese most likely mistook my momentary silence for requesting more details, as she told me, "We more or less expected him, but nobody could take a good look at the other accursed knight. He was a man, so he couldn't be the Unicorn Knight, and the Eagle Knight was recently injured, so he's probably off the list. That leaves either the Minotaur Knight or the Kraken Knight."
"There is also the Lion Knight," the security guy noted, and mama Dracis gave him an appreciative glance.
"True, although he'd been inactive for the past couple of years. Hubby even speculated that he probably died and no one inherited the position yet, but it's not out of the question. But then again, the Raven Knight has been missing for years as well…"
"Okay, time out," I raised my voice to make them stop before those names make me die of second-hand embarrassment. I mean, Unicorn Knight? Really? Sheesh. "So we have two dangerous people and a bunch of goons. What are they armed with?"
Everyone in the room was looking at me like I just asked something really dumb, but then the security guy cautiously answered, "Erm… Swords and spears, as usual?"
"Only melee weapons?" He nodded to my question. "No guns?" This time, he shook his head.
On the second look, I only just realized that none of the security guys had any firearms on them either. In retrospect, I shouldn't have been so surprised, as I was already made aware of the insanely strict gun laws of the island when I tried to buy a pistol, just in case, and was stonewalled so hard I couldn't even find a black market vendor who would deal in them. In fact, the unavailability of handguns was so absolute that Judy even had a theory about the narrative artificially restricting them, because supernatural battles and guns rarely mixed well.
Anyhow, if not even the cutthroat cavaliers of the supernatural world used firearms, I figured no one else would either. I wasn't going to complain though, as it made the situation slightly less dangerous from my point of view. I mean, I put a lot of trust in my inexplicable yet incredibly reliable danger sense, but I doubted that I could dodge a bullet even if I was forewarned about it. Now, there was only one question remaining.
"You said you couldn't erect a Purple Zone. Is that normal?"
"If you mean a Restricted Space, then no. The knights brought an artifact with them that made it harder to invoke the Restricted Space, so we decided to forgo it for the time being." Mama Dracis paused for a moment, as if just realizing how weird it was, and then she asked me, "Do you have any idea why they would do that?"
"Oh, I have an idea all right," I grumbled as I stopped leaning on the backrest of the chair beside me and took a deep breath. "All right, here's the plan: first and foremost, lay the groundwork for a Purple Zone. I'll go and scout around a little, and if I can, I'll try to snatch or disable their jamming artifact. Once that happens…" I looked at Emese, who actually perked up for some reason. "By that time, you should get ready to cause some havoc, mom-in-law."
"You can leave that to me!" she immediately declared with a vicious grin that somehow still reminded me of Elly. Speaking of which, I really hoped things were going all right on their end. I really didn't expect that things were going to turn out like this, so I wanted to wrap everything up over here as fast as I could. Brang could probably handle Rinne on his own, now that he had a proper weapon to use, but originally Josh and the others only had to hold up Labcoat Guy for a few minutes while I freed Mike, and I figured they were getting a little worn out by now.
"Do you plan to use the window?" Emese asked while pointing at the only window in the room, which currently had the poker table covering it.
"No, I plan to use this wall," I answered while pointing in the other direction. "It would take too long to explain. Let's just say it's a thing I do."
After saying so, I walked over to the wall in question, bent my knees for a sprinter's start, and told them, "I'll be right back," before bursting forward and then simultaneously Phasing to the room on the other side. My body came to a lurching halt, and it took a couple of short breaths to steady myself before I could stop leaning on the nearby table.
After glancing around a bit, I soon realized that I was inside Abram's trophy room. That was a pleasant surprise, as I could've sworn that it wasn't right next to the poker room. But then again, I didn't exactly have the full map of the mansion in my head, so I didn't dwell on it. The stuffed animal heads on the walls were even eerier than usual in the dark, but more importantly, I could remember a couple of other odds and ends in the room. For example, there were all those stereotypical African tribal spears and javelins in the corner. I was almost tempted to pick one up, but after some consideration, I decided against it. I didn't plan to fight the Knights in the open, and even if I did, after my recent experience with Rinne, I doubted that some mundane spears were going to make a huge difference. Ideally, I would quickly find the magical jamming whatchamacallit, break it, and then once the Purple Zone was up, I'd let mama Dracis clean up the rest while I focused my attention elsewhere. Easy-peasy.
As to how I was supposed to find said jammer thingie, that was another matter entirely, but I figured that if it was a powerful magical tool, it would be lit up like a Christmas tree; if I found the most glaringly eye-watering object in the invaders' possession, I was probably on the right track. As such, instead of a weapon, I decided to look for another item that I noted when I visited the room the last time, though it was pretty hard to find anything in the place considering most of the little illumination the street lights outside provided was blocked by the curtains. It also didn't help that just as I was about to reach for said curtains, I was startled by a voice echoing right inside my head.
"{Chief, more trouble.}"
"Oh for the love of..." I reflexively cursed under my breath, but I quickly reined in the impulse and once I felt collected enough, I asked, "New trouble?"
"{In a way. Amelia was taken hostage by Doctor Robatto.}"
The news made me pause on my tracks, and instead of asking for more information, I decided it was more efficient to just Far Glance over there. It took me a few seconds to digest the situation, and once I did that, I let out an exasperated sigh and addressed my girlfriend again.
"Judy, please remind the class rep that I put an anti-grappling function onto the Magiforms for a reason."
"{Roger.}"
"Also, tell her that it's two for two. If she gets captured by the next bad guy too, I'm going to bench her."
"{Noted.}"
After Judy's s response I also used my Far Sight to observe the events on that side of this evening's multifront flustercuck. I made a quick tally, and at a glance, it seemed that one of the special robots and about a third of the normal ones were turned into ugly colored scrap metal scattered around the place. In the middle of all the expected collateral damage, Labcoat Guy was currently holding the class rep in a clumsy choke-hold while rattling off his demands to the rest of the group. Or rather, the rest except for Josh, because for some reason he was having an epic duel with the android woman on the rooftop of the warehouse. I wasn't even surprised anymore.
Anyhow, it looked like Judy just finished relaying my message to our hostage, for her eyes abruptly lit up with belated realization behind her glasses, and not a moment later, there was a sharp banging sound that reminded me of the last dying gasp of an industrial jackhammer. What followed was both comical and yet immensely satisfying, as the guy in the clogs was sent flying as if he was punted by a giant, invisible leg. That was nice, but Newton's Third Law also reared its ugly head at this moment, the killjoy, and while magic allowed quite a bit of leeway when it came to creatively reinterpreting classical mechanics, it was practically impossible to stop a small amount of counter-force elbowing its way into the equation. This naturally resulted in Ammy getting ever so lightly shoved in the opposite direction where our resident mad scientist was currently soaring, falling forward and right onto her chest. Insert amusing witticism about how she had a cushioned landing here.
Crude jokes aside, things quickly returned to their previous chaotic state, so I stopped paying attention there and I decided to redouble my searching efforts, and they were soon rewarded when I found the oval object I was looking for. Regrettably, it was inside a locked glass vitrine, and I didn't have the time to mess around, so after whispering a quick and absolutely one hundred percent sincere apology to Abram, I picked up a nearby musket from one of the weapons stands and shattered the display case with one firm strike of its butt. It made quite a bit of noise, but I figured that with all the commotion outside, no one would really care.
I reached inside the vitrine while making sure I wouldn't cut myself on the broken glass and managed to fish out my target with relative ease. As for what it actually was, the best way I could describe it be it would be a jester's mask, the kind that one would find in the carnival of Venice but without the cockscrown crest on the top, leaving an oval, dominantly black porcelain mask with silver highlights around the eyes, depicting an ominously grinning man. It wasn't exactly perfect, but it was the best disguise I could procure under the circumstances. I mean, it was either this, or one of those traditional African tribal masks on the wall, and if I had to decide which one looked less jarring with my usual black long coat, there wasn't really a competition. It was a little tricky to put it on in the dark, but once I secured it onto my face, it fit surprisingly snugly and it didn't even restrict my vision as badly as I feared.
Thusly disguised, I felt that my identity was, if not completely hidden, at least harder to tell at a glance, which was all I was hoping for. After all, the only reason why I even bothered was so that I could maintain plausible deniability if the knights came knocking on my door. It was never a good idea to cut off a potential mark that could be squeezed for possibly life-saving information. With all that in mind, I was just about to Phase to the next room and start looking for the Purple Zone jammer when I was once again interrupted on my tracks.
"{Chief.}"
I suppressed the indignant 'What now?' bubbling out from the bottom of my gut, and after a shallow breath I whispered a considerably more polite, "Yes, Dormouse?"
"{I need some help. Josh isn't listening to me.}"
Did… Did she just sulk? That was mildly unexpected, and once I shook off the initial surprise, I quickly asked her to clarify what she meant.
"Did you lose the connection?"
"{No. He's just not listening to what I'm telling him.}"
"Is he still dueling the fembot on the roof?"
"{No. He's currently flirting with her.}"
My hand that was just about to put the unloaded display musket away came to a surprised halt with a quiet, "Pardon?"
I mean, Judy had a very broad definition of 'flirting', and I've been on the short end of that stick a couple of times, but I couldn't really imagine how or why Josh would try to make a move on the fembot in the middle of a battle. But then again, he was a harem protagonist, and this kind of thing wasn't exactly unheard of, so I quite eagerly waited for Judy's explanation.
"{Amelia is still unsteady on her feet, and the girls need his support, but he's too busy giving a sentimental motivational speech to his opponent, and I'm not getting through to him. Please do something.}"
"Okay, so I've heard it right the first time…" I muttered before raising my voice and asking, "But how exactly am I supposed to do anything about it? I'm kind of in the middle of something here."
"{Chief, you can teleport,}" she told me as if it was something I forgot I could do. "{Please go over to him in person and tell him to regroup with the others. Apparently, it's not good enough if only the mission control says it.}"
Yep, she was definitely sulking. Wonderful. Now I'll also have to console her too when this is all over. More importantly though, what she said just now made me raise a single incredulous brown.
"Need I remind you that we want to keep my ability to teleport around without any support infrastructure a secret?"
"{I thought the cat was already out of the bag,}" she responded a smidgen impatiently. "{You're already present at two different locations, with multiple witnesses. Three, if we count your monster hunter frenemy.}"
"Yeah, but I can probably explain my way out of this once things calmed down," I retorted, only to immediately get shot down.
"{Then there is even less of a reason to hold back.}" I stayed silent for maybe a bit too long, as she soon added, "{Just go to Josh's side already. He's killing me with his speech.}"
"Fine," I grumbled, and once I made sure that I could still Phase in and out of this room later, I let out a long breath and muttered, "Oh well, this is still only the second-worst day I've ever had. At least no one stabbed me today… yet."
And with those words, I promptly disappeared from the room.