Chapter 179: ~Chapter 63~ Part 4

This was one of those 'you could hear a pin being dropped' situations, and even after I politely announced my intentions, things refused to improve. As a matter of fact, the men in the room were staring at me with such aghast expressions I was starting to feel a little uncomfortable. Was it my outfit? I unconsciously glanced down, but I couldn't see anything wrong. Since all the hostilities were more or less resolved, I took off the sliced-up ballistic vest and the padding I wore under my coat and slipped into a spare set of jeans and shirt I had at the base. Sure, the black overcoat had a small gash on it, but since the front was open when mister Griffon grazed me, it wasn't exactly ruined either. Judy even combed my hair while I got the shallow cut on my abdomen dressed, so all things considered, I should've looked at least presentable at the moment.

Yet, the trio inside was still looking at me like I was the most terrifying thing in existence. I mean, okay, I waited until a suitably dramatic moment to make my appearance, and showing up from the blue had to be pretty shocking, but their treatment was still a tad harsh if you asked me. As such, since they didn't welcome me in, I decided to forego the formalities as well and simply walked up to the desk.

"What is he doing here?" Labcoat Guy blurted out the moment I stopped, and his voice finally seemed to jolt the other two out of their stupor.

"I assure you, that is something I would very much like to know as well," Lord Grandpa commented with an air of intimidation rising around him, though to be frank, at this moment I was so far beyond caring that I couldn't even be bothered to feel irritated about him. There was also a small flash of ethereal light around his head that passed through his hat unhindered, so I subtly rolled my eyes at his expense.

"Don't bother, I've already blocked all outgoing communications through the wards," I told him, but he tried it anyway. Honestly, after all the abuse I've already put my poor brain through today, manipulating the interlocking wards surrounding the room wasn't the wisest of ideas, but I figured that avoiding any interruptions at this point was worth the headache. Not to mention, unlike with the irritating spear or Ichiko's previous housing, the spatially locked enchantments weren't actually plot-devices, to use my colloquial terminology, so manipulating them was slightly less taxing than expected.

Anyhow, once the Arch-mage realized that I was serious and that he was locked out of the wards with the supernatural equivalent of a parental control password, his already narrowed eyes slowly gained a tinge of hostility.

"What exactly is the meaning of this?"

"Long story short, I'm here to hear you talk," I told him as I met his glare with a frown of my own. "You've caused me quite a lot of headache, both figuratively and literally, and so I'm here to hear your explanation."

"Explanation?" the elderly magi repeated after me, so I simply nodded in the affirmative. "Considering you have entered here uninvited, I can not help but wonder why I should be the one to explain myself in this situation."

"Cut the crap, old man. I already had a tiresome day. I had to corner that idiot over there, save some hostages, deal with the knights with the stupidly long name invading the home of my potential in-laws, as well as have a fight to the death against a possessed, unreasonable monster-huntress, and that's not even counting all the other things that happened in the past couple of hours. In other words, I've long since run out of damns to give, so I would appreciate it if you started your confession."

"So now you are looking for a confession instead of just an explanation? You are quite bold to make demands, young man, considering you are currently inside my School. How does this sound instead: can you give me a reason why I should refrain from single-handedly capturing you for the crime of breaking and entering?"

When I didn't answer right away, the irritating old man's lips parted in a grin that revealed all of his teeth, earning him another exasperated look for his trouble.

"So we are already at the threatening stage? Fine, have it your way." Saying so, I reached into the breast pocket of my coat and retrieved a small box. "For a start, I believe you are quite desperately—"

I got exactly that far when the air around the Arch-mage began to boil with magic, and he was apparently about to unleash some kind of spell based on the unintelligible chant he was speed-muttering under his breath. Whatever it was, I had a feeling it probably wouldn't be great for my well-being, so the moment the magic began to coalesce into a multi-layered ball of some sorts, I immediately lashed out with my phantom limb and bisected it without any fanfare. The two pieces hung in the air for a second before dissipating into nothing, and to his credit, Lord Grandpa's expression barely twitched when he realized that his spell was 'mysteriously' countered.

"So, as I was saying, you really want this thing, don't you?" I asked with just a hint of provocation, and after a short yet intense staring contest, the old man gave me a nod.

"So it was you!" Labcoat Guy exclaimed with an expression that told me he would strangle me if his hands weren't bound. "You followed us when we entered last night!"

"Without your notice?" Peabody mused aloud while casually wiping his forehead with a handkerchief, and his nephew immediately nodded, at least as much as the yoke allowed.

"He must have hidden himself with an illusion spell. In fact…" He slowly narrowed his eyes, and after observing me for a while, he declared, "I bet you're not even here right now, are you?"

The look I gave him in return for his guess was flatter than a pancake, but he didn't get the message, so I told him, "Maybe. Or maybe it could be that you aren't here at all. Maybe you're all still standing in front of that warehouse in the docks and blankly staring into thin air while under a complex illusion."

"I wasn't at the docks," the school nurse blurted out, so I gave him a shrug.

"Then that means that you're not real but just an elaborate illusion to deceive these two." Both Peabody and his nephew looked downright horrified by the idea, so I stopped playing around and told them, "Or maybe I'm just messing with you. Who knows?"

I let them mull over that and returned my attention to the owner of the room, who by this point has seemingly digested the situation.

"In retrospect, I should have known you would not have revealed you are in possession of the Grimoire Key unless you were confident you could hold onto it even in my presence," he noted in a low, almost dejected voice, and at last he retracted whatever caused the air around him to roil. It incidentally also made him appear slightly less irritating, but it was to such a minuscule degree that the difference was purely academic. At last, he exhaled a long sigh and stated, "It appears I am at a disadvantage in these negotiations."

"These are not negotiations," I told him frankly. "Those only happen when both parties have a leg to stand on. Right now, I'm holding all the cards. I'm not here to negotiate, I'm here to deliver my demands." I waited for him to respond, but since he only continued to frown at me, I ultimately proclaimed, "First off, I've already asked for you to explain your actions regarding this enormous chain of marinated bollocks you caused. I'm still waiting."

Lord Grandpa continued to look me in the eye, but at the end of the day he came to a decision, and his shoulders imperceptibly slouched.

"What do you want to know?"

"For a start, explain to me why you hired this clown to harass my friends?"

Lord Grandpa glanced over at the indignantly huffing yet conspicuously silent Labcoat Guy, and after crossing his fingers on the desk, he stated, "I have a long history with my good friend Archibald, and when I became aware of the fact that his nephew required…"

"Stop, my bad," I hastily interrupted him with a raised hand. Now, ignoring the fact that the name 'Archibald' was completely wasted on the portly nurse, I apparently wasn't clear enough when asking my original question. "I'm not really interested why you chose this guy in particular, but why you conspired to set up all those fake attacks against us in the first place."

By the looks of it, my inquiry gave the old man some headache, but after mulling things over for a second, he continued his explanation.

"Your group is… highly unusual. An unmasked Celestial agent, the heiress of the de-facto ruling family of the western Draconians, the blood-sister of one of the Abyssal Lords, my very own granddaughter, a young man with mundane circumstances and yet unusual powers, and last but not least you yourself. While you might be relatively safe right now, whether one or all of you would be targeted by outside forces is not a question of 'if', but 'when'. I simply hoped to provide some practical experience and instill a sense of caution into your group while also repaying some personal debts and forging a connection with the famously talented yet fickle black sheep of the Research Society."

"That would be him," I guessed while pointing with my thumb, and the old mage let out a grunt in confirmation. "Quick question: are the Assembly and the Research Society on good enough terms that you could do that without any pushback?"

"O-ho-ho, the Non-causative Science Research Society was originally a School of Magi," Peabody answered in the Arch-mage's stead. "The occasional heated academic debate notwithstanding, relations are relatively amicable, so even if it was revealed that Friedrich and Amadeus worked together, it would not affect their reputations."

I sent a glance at the still profusely sweating school nurse and acknowledged his comment with a nod. He most likely spoke up to dissuade me from trying to use their contract as another bargaining chip, but to be honest, it didn't matter to me either way. Not to mention, I had a sneaking suspicion that he was purposefully underplaying the rivalry going on between the established supernatural power bloc and the uppity newcomer, but I didn't press the issue and faced Lord Grandpa again instead.

"So you're telling me that you orchestrated all of these attacks on us out of the kindness of your heart, to prepare us to the unforgiving power-plays of the supernatural word or some similar slop? Do you seriously think I'd buy that?"

"No, I did not," he answered a tad indignantly. "I do not deny that I had my own considerations and personal gain in mind as well, but I swear upon my name as an Arch-mage of the Assembly that I never intended to cause you or your friends any harm, whether directly or indirectly."

"No harm, huh? Then please explain the dead Chimera puppet next."

The look he gave me at this point told me he wasn't expecting that question. Or was it one of the particular adjectives in the question? Either way, he closed his eyes and let out a long breath before he gave his answer.

"The Chimeric Beast was… a whim, but at the same time, a necessity." He soon noticed my dubiously raised brow, so he hastily clarified that incredibly vague statement. "After news spread about your achievement of slaying the creature in question, I have considered its ramifications. Chimeric Beasts are a rare breed, and I can guarantee that the Winged Lords of the Abyss would not allow someone capable of hunting one to walk the earth in peace. As such, I have looked into many an option and ultimately decided on one that would not only benefit you, but also allow us to potentially forge a connection with the elusive phantasmal hunters of the Kage clan. As much as I loathe to admit it, even the words of an Arch-mage like myself means little to their ilk, so I was forced to employ a more… creative solution."

"You've made the Chimera into a bait," I guessed, and he immediately confirmed it. Not only that, but based on the reaction of the uncle-nephew duo on the side, they weren't aware of these details until now either.

"It was something proposed by the head of our artificer department. A dead Chimeric Beast, while rare, holds little practical value, but by inscribing a newly developed, experimental Sun-grade enchantment onto the body, it could be put to use before it completely decayed."

"So, just to see if I get this right," I spoke up while casually using the edge of the box in my hand to scratch my chin. "You reanimated a Chimera, let it loose on the island to lure in Rinne, gave her information on me, and then told me to look into both the Chimera and her so that we could… do what exactly? What was the end-goal of this convoluted scheme of yours?"

"I would hardly call it convoluted," the old man objected with a slight grimace. "As far as I was concerned, it was one of the safer plans I have ever put into motion. Even if you never met her, or never collaborated, so long as the experiment was a success and the body could be moved, our Artificer Lodge would have benefited. As for its ultimate goal…" He fell silent for a beat, probably considering how much he should say, but when I pointedly shook the box in my hand, he immediately continued. "I hoped that you would develop a bond with the elusive holder of the Kage clan's sacred blade, and she could act as your mentor."

"… You're actually serious," I muttered in shock, much to my conversational partner's confusion.

"I… Yes. That was my hope, yet even if you could not build familiarity upon your shared experiences of fighting monstrous creatures, I believed that bringing her to the island had many benefits. In the worst-case scenario, where she would leave after tracking down her prey, I believed that by carefully manipulating the rumors, we could at the very least convince the Abyssal Lords into believing that she was responsible for the slaying of the original creature to draw attention away from you and, by consequence, my island. In the best-case scenario, I hoped she would take interest in you and by staying on the island could help bolster our defenses."

"So it was a win-win situation for you that you completely screwed up by not doing any research on her personality."

"Is that so?" The Arch-mage absent-mindedly stroked his short beard and added, "If my sources are to be believed, she is a dutiful, soft-spoken young woman, and surprisingly easy on the eyes as well."

"I have no idea what that last part has to do with anything, but no, she was more of creepy, psychotic, gluttonous woman-child with a split-personality disorder," I complained, but then I realized that I said too much, so I quickly amended, "Or at the very least she used to be, before I beat her and took her sword away. Now she's mainly just dejected and suspiciously amenable."

"That is right, I was meaning to ask," Lord Grandpa spoke up with a troubled expression. "You have mentioned something about a 'fight to the death', I believe?"

I knew that he was only fishing for information, but it wasn't like this was a secret, so I told him, "In short, I took the double-dead Chimera home for investigation, she misunderstood and went on a rampage, I had to beat her up and disarm her, then I had to purify her annoying sword and turn her into a little girl, but then stuff happened, and now she's locked up at a secure location." By the looks of it, my explanation caused more confusion than what it clarified, so just for the heck of it I also added, "Oh, and by the way, now her 'sacred sword' is in the body of the Chimera, so I can't give it back to you. Don't even ask."

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"I… was not planning, but… Did you say 'little girl' just now?"

"That's beside the point," I dismissed him with a wave of my free hand and concluded, "So in short, you had 'the best intentions', but your over-engineered failure of a plan went off the rails and caused this whole mess."

"I would not necessarily call it a complete failure," the old man objected.

"You would think that, but you would be wrong. Anyhow, here's what's going to happen now." While saying so, I raised a hand and presented the box I was holding through all of this discussion. "You want this back before the investigators from the Assembly arrive so that you can save your position in the organization and at least a shred of your dignity. I'm not against returning it to you, but I have a couple of demands."

When I said that, the atmosphere in the room immediately tensed up again, and after a long moment of consideration, the Arch-made quietly uttered, "I'm listening."

"First off, I want you to let my friends go."

I might have started a little weak, as the old man nodded right away.

"Naturally, though I believe it would be best if they spent the night in our custody, for appearances' sake."

"I can compromise that much," I responded after but a moment of thinking. "However, at the very least provide them with proper food, beds, and a board game or something to pass the time."

"I… do not believe we have any such games in the School, but I will see what I can do," Lord Grandpa noted with a hint of amusement in his voice. "Anything else."

"Just have them taken to my place by tomorrow morning, without any guards or those annoying surveillance spells attached to them. Next, I want official access to your archives, without any supervision."

"I believe we can arrange that," he agreed, though this time he was slightly more reserved.

"Thirdly, I want him," I declared and once again used my thumb to gesture towards the yoked guy nearby.

"W-What? Me?" he yelped out while pointing at himself.

"Precisely," I responded as I turned to face him.

I wasn't kidding either. Letting this guy loose was a really bad idea, as I couldn't know when he would turn up again to bring back his sentai nonsense. While Crowey, Lord Grandpa, and the Knights in general were more dangerous opponents, they would still operate within the framework of the current 'setting', so to speak, while he was easily the most troublesome rogue element as far as the narrative structure and tone of the world were concerned.

"You're too dangerous to be left to your own devices, so I'm going to keep you on a short leash, where I can keep an eye on you." I paused here to let my words sink in, and then continued in a slow, level tone. "No more giant robots. No more disposable goons. No more silly costumes. Finally, and maybe most importantly, no more plasma disintegrators. Screw up on any of those points, and I'll give you a fashionable pair of concrete shoes and kick out into the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. Are we clear on that?"

Labcoat Guy and the nurse both repeatedly nodded in unison, so I turned back to the man behind the desk.

"Oh, and by the way, while he'll work for me, you're still going to be footing his bills. We'll work out the contract later, but I wanted to be clear on that."

Lord Grandpa looked at the yoked mad scientist, and before I knew it, the corners of his lips were bent upwards into something resembling a delighted smile.

"To be perfectly honest with you, young man, that sounds like a fantastic idea to me."

"Hey! Don't I have any say in this matter!?"

"No," I responded to Labcoat Guy's desperate objection and addressed the old man again, "Aside from that, all I ask for is some courtesy. Don't make any more convoluted schemes, don't cause me or my friends any trouble 'for our own good', and if some unsavory types arrive on the island, like, say, a bunch of grown men with buckets on their heads known for attacking relatively innocent dragons, notify me instead of allowing them to operate on your bloody island."

"Buckets…? Do you perchance mean the Knights?"

"Of course I mean the Knights!" I exclaimed in exasperation. "Don't tell me you couldn't at least tell my self-appointed mother-in-law that they were already on the island! Do you have any idea how much headache that would've saved me today?"

"I only learned of their presence recently, and in my defense, I was already engaged in a different incident."

"Which was the result of the aforementioned convoluted scheming," I remarked before placing the box onto the desk. "So, do we have a deal here or not?" The Arch-mage was eyeing me even more suspiciously than before, so I felt obligated to add, "For the record, don't even think about double-crossing me. I took your artifact once, I can take it again, and even if you teleport it to the moon or something so that I couldn't use it as leverage, with the contents of your safe in my hands, I still have enough dirt on you to have you kicked out of the Assembly so hard you might even achieve a stable orbit."

"I understand," he uttered just a tad begrudgingly, and he reached out towards the box. Before he could touch it though, I stopped him by offering a hand.

"Deal?" I asked with my most harmless of smiles, and after staring at my outstretched palm for a second or five, the head of the School ultimately grabbed it and we shook hands.

"I accept your generous conditions," he stated flatly, and oddly enough, his expression told me that he considered the act of the handshake a bigger deal than our agreement itself. I didn't really care though, as I was simply delighted that I could finally mark him for Far Sight.

I removed my hand from the box, and surprisingly enough Lord Grandpa didn't immediately snatch it up. If nothing else, I had to commend his willpower. Once he let go of my hand, I immediately turned around and stepped up to Labcoat Guy.

"Once you let my friends go, have them escort him as well. I'll deal with the rest." Saying so, I decided to make one last show of having the upper hand, and firmly poked the yoke around the man's neck with two fingers. It let out a buzzing sound and opened with a soft click, much to the mad scientist's befuddlement. I ignored him and instead used the opportunity to extend my Phantom Limb and interface with the wards of the office, and once I turned off the restrictions I put on Lord Grandpa, I turned on my heel and walked towards the open entrance of the archives.

"Now then, it was a pleasure, gentlemen, but I'm afraid I have to go. You still have a lot of this mess to clean up, and I have to make sure the Celestial Intelligence Network will stay in the dark about what went down tonight. See you all tomorrow."

Just as I finished, I closed the door behind me, and before Lord Grandpa could collect himself and try to follow after me, I immediately Phased back home.

"Welcome back, Chief," my dear girlfriend greeted me the moment I arrived, but before I replied, I immediately fell into my comfy chair with a relieved sigh. Judy gave me an odd look as she sidled closer to me and asked, "How did the negotiations go?"

"Fairly smoothly, I'm just tired as a… fox?" I uttered in surprise as I noticed the thing in Judy's arms. In short, it was the biggest, fattest, fluffiest red fox I've ever seen in my life. I was just about to ask what that was, but then the fox opened its mouth, and to my further bafflement, spoke up in a familiar voice.

"Look, ue-sama! I could really do it!"

"Ah… I should have known," I muttered under my breath. Using one of the neighbors as an anchor, I Phased Judy and the tiny (and currently quite foxy) miko home, so that my girlfriend could put some proper clothes on her. Needless to say, even though she insisted that she could transform using some ancient fox-girl art of illusionary whatever, I never expected her to do it while I was away.

"Chief, can we keep her?" Judy suddenly asked with a tone so serious I was completely sure it was a joke for a moment.

"Are you serious? What about your counter-measures?"

"I'm not insecure enough to be jealous of foxes," my girlfriend stated a tad indignantly before grabbing Ichiko under her front legs and presenting her to me. "Also, she's really fluffy."

"… I never figured you were the type who would get swayed by cute animals," I whispered too quietly for her to hear, and I concluded the conversation with an ambivalent, "Let's discuss this in detail later."

The fox in her hands let out a series of delighted yipping sounds, which honestly didn't help my slowly but surely rising headache, so I poked her stomach. It only made her laugh out louder (she was possibly ticklish) and I had no choice but to agree with Judy on one point; she was indeed incredibly fluffy, especially for a sword-Chimera-miko-loli-fox.

…

Damn, that's a lot of traits right there. If she was a little older, that would probably make her a prime love interest material in a harem narrative. But then again, considering the conventions of some of the visual novels I've run into during my research, her appearance might actually be a selling point for a certain demographic.

"Make sure you keep her away from Josh and his harem protagonist aura. The last thing we need right now is the local version of FBI showing up looking for him," I jested half-heartedly, yet my girlfriend nodded with the utmost seriousness, so maybe it wasn't much of a joke after all. Anyhow, I never really realized how comfortable my favorite chair was. Or maybe it was just the fatigue speaking? Either way, I glanced over at Judy and told her, "Let me rest for a moment, then we discuss what happened today in detail."

"Okay. I'll go brew some tea."

"Oh, oh! Judy-ue, I can help! I can show you my family's traditional green-tea recipe!" the fluffy ball exclaimed as she wagged her bushy tail in my girlfriend's hands.

"I don't think we have any green tea, but let me check," she responded on her way to the kitchen, and the way she casually ignored the tail repeatedly stroking her on the neck drew a small chuckle out of me.

I felt really tired though, so after a while, I leaned my head onto the back-rest of my chair, closed my eyes, and let my mind rest for a few minutes. After a day like this, I think I deserved this much.

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