The Simulacrum
"Chief, you're burning up," my girlfriend told me with one hand on my forehead.
"I've already noticed, thank you," I answered with a tired grumble, though she didn't seem to mind and simply retracted her hand.
"I'll go get a cold towel then," she proposed and waited to hear my response.
"It didn't help much the last time, but I would still appreciate it."
My reply apparently pleased her, as she gave me a determined nod before she swiftly turned on her heel and walked out of my room, leaving me alone in front of my PC. Well, okay, not entirely alone, as the tiny miko, still in her fluffy fox form, was currently curled up in my lap and watching the monitor in front of us with sparkling eyes.
"Ue-sama! Ue-sama! Click on that!"
"On what?" I griped under my breath, and she raised one stubby paw to gesture towards the corner of the screen.
"They have hakamas! And kosodes too!"
It took me a couple of seconds to figure out just what she was talking about, but then I finally noticed an animated advertisement banner near the bottom. It was… certainly a miko outfit, except less of an 'authentic traditional' style one, but more of a… Oh, fine, let's not beat around the bush: it was an ad for a webshop selling fetish costumes for frisky couples who wanted to spice up their sex lives. If the see-through nature of the upper-wear didn't make that perfectly obvious, the various latex 'tools' showing up as the banner kept scrolling made things blindingly obvious. Thankfully the fox-girl on my lap didn't know how they were supposed to be used (even I was a little baffled by a few of them), so before she could ask, I quickly right-clicked on the banner and added it to my ad-blocker's blacklist.
"Sorry, but I doubt they would have it in your size," I told her flatly, but then after a moment of consideration I added, "If you behave yourself, I'll get you one from a cosplay-maker or something."
"Really? Thank you, ue-sama!"
I ignored her wagging tail and, after placing my orders on the currently open site's shop for the various materials required for making a holding cell or two, I closed the window. Under that, there was the utilitarian interface of the Celestial Hub. I originally internally debated whether or not I should even show this to Ichiko, but considering I still had my off-switch for her, I didn't think letting her catch a glimpse of the Hub would make a difference.
More importantly though, a quick glance at the 'recent uploads' section told me that there were already a couple of reports coming in regarding today's events. I quickly skimmed them, but there was nothing in them I already didn't know about. In fact, there was actually quite a bit of misinformation, which was nice. That meant even they weren't sure what was going on, so I could probably completely lead them astray by a few well-placed reports with 'validated' information telling them that, say, it was all Lord Grandpa's fault and the teens involved in the incidents were totally unimportant. Speaking of which, a quick glance at the forums also showed that the regulars were all busy speculating about what happened, and the prevailing theory was that everything surrounding the break-in at the school was just an elaborate ruse by the Assembly to try and get a reaction out of Celestial Information Network, and advised the local agents to stay low. That also sounded like a nice lead I should 'encourage'.
But now that the resident assets came up, it reminded me of a certain Celestial, so I went back to the repository, yet couldn't find any reports or posts made by Mike. That was a little odd, considering how deeply involved he was this time around. On a whim, I decided to Far Glance at the guy, and I found him in his apartment, seemingly safe and sound. He was sitting in a well-lit room, he was hunched over his computer and, coincidentally, he was staring at the very same interface that I was. That was odd, considering that the last time I checked his status it showed that he was offline, but then I came out Far Sight and used my administrator privileges to check his profile directly, and it showed that he was actually just hidden.
This all felt slightly suspicious, so after thinking things through, I decided to send a PM to him and see how he would react.
"Admin: Ninja, are you online?"
I waited for over a minute for him to react, and I was even considering another Far Glance when he finally wrote back.
"W1NG3D N1NJ4: HELLO ADMIN! THANK DEUS YOU CALLED, I'M IN SOME DEEP POO RIGHT NOW!!!
〜(＞＜)〜"
"Admin: I see there was an incident on Critias. Were you involved?"
I just finished typing that when Judy came back with a familiar ice bag wrapped in a white towel. She wanted to apply it to my forehead right away, but when she noticed I was busy, she put it on the back of my neck instead.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm probing Mike," I told her while readjusting the towel.
"I see," she whispered, and then a short beat later she pointed at my left hand. "Why are you only typing with one hand?"
"My right hand is still a little numb," I lied to her without batting an eye. In fact, I literally couldn't move my fingers at all, and even raising my arm hurt like hell, but she didn't need to know that.
In the meantime, the Celestial on the other side of the screen finally finished typing.
"W1NG3D N1NJ4: I WAS KINDA INVOLVED BUT KINDA NOT. IT'S COMPLICATED……… (〃＞＿＜;〃) "
"W1NG3D N1NJ4: MORE IMPORTANTLY, PLEASE HELP ME OUT!!! (シ_ _)シ"
"W1NG3D N1NJ4: I'M ASKING THIS FOR A FRIEND: LET'S SAY MY FRIEND HAS A FRIEND WHO IS NOT REALLY A FRIEND AND IS ACTUALLY A LITTLE SCARY! THIS FRIEND OF A FRIEND HELPED OUT MY FRIEND, AND NOW MY FRIEND KNOWS ABOUT HIS SECRET! (￣ω￣;)"
"W1NG3D N1NJ4: I MEAN I THINK IT'S A SECRET, BUT I'M NOT SURE, BUT IT'S A BIG DEAL, AND OTHER PEOPLE WOULD PROBABLY LIKE TO KNOW THIS SECRET, BUT MY FRIEND OWES HIM ONE AND DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!! (O_O;)"
"W1NG3D N1NJ4: ADMIIIIIN! PLEASE HEEEEEELP MEEEEE!!! (シ_ _)シ"
"W1NG3D N1NJ4: I MEAN, PLEASE HEEEEEELP MY FRIEEEEEND!1!!!! (シ_ _)シ (シ_ _)シ"
I pondered how I should respond for a few seconds, and in the end I decided on a slightly forceful approach.
"Admin: When you said 'helping out', do you mean a small favor, or something more significant."
"W1NG3D N1NJ4: VEEEEERY SIGNIFICANT! LIFE-SAVING AND STUFF!!! (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)"
"Admin: I see. And is this friend of a friend a threat to our cause?"
This time there was a longer pause before the answer.
"W1NG3D N1NJ4: I DON'T THINK SO. HE IS REALLY COOPERATIVE AND HELPFUL. (≧ω≦)"
"W1NG3D N1NJ4: AND SCARY… {{ (>_<) }}"
"W1NG3D N1NJ4: BUT NOT A BAD GUY! DEFINITELY NOT! (＞﹏＜)"
"Admin: So he is helpful to us, not a threat, and saved your life."
"W1NG3D N1NJ4: YES!"
"W1NG3D N1NJ4: I MEAN NO! HE SAVED MY FRIEND, REMEMBER!!!!1!!!one!!! (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)"
"Admin: Yeah, sure."
"Admin: Anyhow, this friend of a friend sounds like a useful asset. Unless his secret is directly threatening our continued operations, I'd personally prioritize maintaining a productive relationship with them."
"Admin: If sharing certain information about them would jeopardize that, I'd recommend keeping it a secret for the time being."
"W1NG3D N1NJ4: YESSS!!! THANK YOU ADMIN, YOU ARE THE BEST!!! ＼(≧▽≦)／"
"Admin: You're welcome."
After I finished typing, Judy took the opportunity to shift the ice pack over to my forehead while simultaneously sticking a thermometer into my mouth.
"He's quite gullible," my girlfriend noted after a single glance at the screen, and if it wouldn't have disturbed the pack on my head, I would've probably shrugged in agreement.
"That's a mean way to put it, but not inaccurate. That said, I'm actually glad he isn't particularly competent; this way I don't have to worry too much about him secretly subverting us."
"He could be playing a role to lower your guard," she moved the conversation along while wiping the sweat off my neck, and I could instantly tell that she didn't actually mean it.
"I keep him under surveillance, so unless he plays the fool even when he's all alone on the toilet, I'm fairly sure I would have noticed any nefarious scheming by now."
"You like to peep on people on the toilet? Chief, I never figured you would have such a fetish."
"You're not funny," I grumbled, but instead of responding, Judy took the thermometer from my mouth and raised it to her eye-level.
"Thirty-nine point seven degrees Celsius." She noted before pocketing the device and adding, "That's almost forty. If it doesn't go down soon, you're taking a cold shower."
"That sounded more like an order than an advice…"
"Because it was. If this continues, we might have to go to the hospital."
"Or we could just ask Angie to heal me?" I proposed, only to be immediately shot down.
"It didn't help the last time you had a fever from overworking."
She locked eyes with me, and after enduring the mounting pressure for a few seconds, I let out a sigh and told her, "Fine, cold shower it is; a visit at the doctor's if it doesn't work."
"Good. Now behave yourself, and no more random teleporting today."
"… Are you still mad about that?"
"I'm not mad, I'm just concerned," she replied a tad unenthusiastically while removing the wet towel, airing it a bit, and then re-wrapping the ice pack before placing it on me again.
"Ue-sama and Judy-ue have such a beautiful relationship," the little fox commented on the side between stifled giggles, and for the love of me, I couldn't see what she meant.
Judy was about to say something else, but then we were all slightly startled by the sound of a car horn coming from the outside. My dearest assistant swiftly moved over to the window and, after a single glance outside, she turned back to me.
"Father's here. I'll be right back."
"Wait, hold on for a moment," I stopped her in her tracks before she could leave the room. "I think I'm missing something. Why is your father here again?"
"When I phoned home and told my parents that I'm staying over, I also took the opportunity to ask them to bring over some of my old clothes that no longer fit me." I probably made quite a befuddled face, because she quickly added, "I told mom that one of your distant relatives is staying with you, but her luggage got lost and she needs a change of clothes."
"Clever."
"Thank you," she responded with a thin yet obviously delighted smile. I was a little taken aback by that. I mean, it wasn't like I didn't praise her when she deserved it (which was quite often), so her reaction felt a little too much… but then again, most people probably couldn't even notice her smile, so maybe I was getting oversensitive?
"Judy-ue brought me clothes!" the chunky fox on my lap exclaimed with obvious mirth and jumped off me with a happy 'Yip!' noise, instantly cutting my train of thought short in the process. "Can I come along? Can I see them?"
Judy glanced at the fluffball on the floor, then back at me, and when I didn't voice any objections, she ultimately told her, "Yes, but no talking in front of my dad."
Ichiko nodded over and over again in response and scurried next to Judy's feet, but before they left, my girlfriend sent me one last sharp look.
"No Phasing while I'm away," she warned me, and I couldn't decide whether I wanted to laugh or cry.
"Dormouse, I'm having a forty degrees fever and can barely stand on my legs, let alone teleport around."
"It didn't stop you an hour ago," she countered.
"Yes, because back then I only had a thirty-eight degrees fever. Big difference." She apparently didn't find my objection amusing, so I heaved a sigh and told her, "Fine, I promise I won't disappear anywhere. Just go, don't keep your father waiting."
She looked me in the eye for a while with an expression that could be easily translated to 'You better be here when I come back, or I will kick your butt!', and considering how weak I was feeling at a moment, she actually had a good chance of keeping her end of the threat. That would have been pretty embarrassing, so I put on my trustworthiest visage and flashed a hopefully not too strained smile in her general direction. At last, she left in the company of the foxy miko, and the moment she closed the door behind her, I couldn't help but let a long groan escape through my clenched teeth.
I really was feeling pretty terrible at the moment. The headache was back, with a vengeance, and more troublingly, it was still getting worse over time. My right hand also hurt like crazy, though if I didn't try to move it, it was still bearable. All my other joints were sensitive as well, but that was probably because of the fever. Oh, and I could barely feel my legs, but that was mainly due to Ichiko sitting on them until now, so it didn't count.
In conclusion, I was in pretty bad shape right now. That was nothing new though, so once I collected myself a bit, I turned to the PC again so that, if nothing else, it would at least divert my attention a little. I refreshed the hub, and to my momentary surprise, I actually found a new report signed by Mike.
"That was quick," I whispered under my breath while I waited for the file to open.
After skimming it, I was relieved to see that, while he broadly detailed his perspective on today's events, the method of his escape was left fairly vague. Also, if what he wrote was to be believed, he interacted with Labcoat Guy using a fake identity, so even if he spilled the beans while in Lord Grandpa's custody, at most he could only give a general description of Mike's appearance. Even if the Arch-mage decided to look into him, there was a good chance he wouldn't be found… but then again, the guy was quite enamored with his granddaughter, so that might complicate things.
I was just about to Far Glance at Labcoat Guy to see if he was being interrogated, but then Judy suddenly burst into the room, startling me for a moment.
"… What?" I blurted out with a no-doubt quite befuddled grimace spreading over my face.
"Nothing," my assistant stated with an even pokerier face than usual as she gently closed the door behind her. "I'm just glad to see that you really didn't go anywhere."
"I told you I wouldn't…!" I objected, only to swallow the rest of my complaints and instead tell her, "Never mind. In case I forget, please remind me to ask Labcoat Guy about how much he told the Magi about Mike."
"Will do," she answered while walking up to me and putting a hand on my cheek. "You're still burning up."
"Yeah, and I have a feeling it's not going to get better any time soon." It was around this time that my brain finally registered the conspicuous absence of a certain red fur ball. "Where's Ichiko?"
"In the guest room. She said she wanted to see if any of the clothes that dad brought fit her. Also, speaking of my father, he told me to remind you that he still has a shotgun."
"Your dad is as charming as ever," I griped in a voice flatter but the salt plains, and Judy simply shrugged my complaints away.
"He's just protective."
That line of conversation fizzled out right there, so after a long but not necessarily uncomfortable beat later, I gestured for Judy to sit on my bed, and I also rolled closer in my chair.
"So, since hopefully the day is over, how about we discuss this epic mess we just weathered?"
"I concur. The sooner, the better," she agreed right away and took out her phone with practiced motions.
"Good. So, let's start by summarizing the current situation." I paused to take a deep breath, then began. "First off, Labcoat Guy is neutralized, and I 'convinced' Lord Grandpa to put him in our custody. With some luck, that should put an end to the genre shift and we could prevent any future resurgence of sentai shenanigans."
"You say 'custody', but what exactly are we going to do with him?"
"Good question. I haven't thought much about it yet, but for the time being I think I'll lock him up in the secret base and have the Fauns keep him under surveillance. As for later, I think we might be able to use him. So long as we provide him the means and the incentive, I think he could be useful for probing the supernatural substrate and the limits and exact mechanisms of the world. He could also aid us in performing some of the experiments we couldn't do because of lack of equipment and resources."
"Sounds feasible. He's a scientist, even if a mad one," Judy commented while speed-tapping on her phone, and I nodded while waiting for her to finish.
"That's right. As for the fembot, we might be able to put her to use after her weaponry is removed."
"Are you planning on turning her into a maid too?"
"Oh, ha-ha," I said, rolling my eyes in the process. "That's a really original joke that I've never heard before. How utterly amusing."
"I was serious though."
I sent my assistant a flat look in return for her honestly and told her, "For the umpteenth time; I don't have a maid fetish."
"We did get a reaction out of you when we dressed up though," she noted without even a hint of shyness, prompting me to roll my eyes again.
"Yes, but it was just a tiiiiiiiiiny reaction, and only because it was you two. I don't want to just arbitrarily put everyone into them."
"So, if I understand this right," Judy began, only to dramatically pause and lower her phone before finishing with, "You don't like maids, but you like it when Elly and I dress as maids."
"… In a manner of speaking," I admitted a tad begrudgingly.
"So it's all right if we dress as maids."
"Maybe every once in a while," I finally relented, at which point my girlfriend directed a downright triumphant smirk at me, annoying me to no end. "We're veering way off-topic. How about we discuss your fetish for dressing up as maids later and return to the previous conversation?"
"Too late, I already did," I declared with a grin before adopting a more serious expression and saying, "Next, the Knights attacked sooner than expected. Thankfully there were no casualties on either side, and we even got a new sword and a rare artifact out of the deal."
"We also learned that they were specifically looking for the dragon-slaying spear," Judy noted, though the way her brows were ever so slightly angled told me she was still sore about my previous comment.
"Yeah. Good thing I figured something like this would happen and took it ahead of time. It will be a little tricky to explain it to Sebastian though, but I'll cross that bridge when I get there."
"You marked one of them, didn't you?"
"Yeah, I did. They are going to be staying on the island because of the lockdown, and there are more of them coming, but for the time being they should be laying low. I'll try to keep an eye on them, but I only managed to mark one of the grunts, so I won't be able to see all of their movements."
"That still leaves us with more information than what we had yesterday," Judy remarked, and a few taps later she also added a question. "Let me address the elephant in the room: what are we going to do with Rinne and Ichiko?"
"You mean the fox not in the room?" I jested, but then exhaled a short breath and told her, in a more serious tone, "The two of them weren't exactly in their right mind when they attacked us, but they still tried to kill me. Rinne is a little tricky to place. Her temper seemingly calmed down quite a bit after she was separated from her sword, but I think we're probably best off keeping her in custody for a while. If she behaves herself, we can probably let her go."
"You don't want to recruit her?" she asked, though I couldn't help but feel that there was the tiniest of edges in her words. "You have a habit of doing that to people that tried to kill you."
I wanted to protest, but then I thought about it for a moment. Brang, Snowy, Labcoat Guy and his fembot, the fox-girl in the next room… Okay, maybe she did have a point, but not in this case in particular.
"Not if I can help it, though I admit she would be a nice hidden card in case things go south like today. Unfortunately, I don't really have a way to ensure her loyalty, and considering she's a wandering monster-slayer, she probably wouldn't stay here for long anyway. Not to mention, if we detain her for too long, her as-of-yet-only-mentioned-but-never-seen clan of ninjas might come and pick a fight with us, and I really want to avoid that."
"Reasonable. What about Ichiko?"
"That's… a trickier question," I mused aloud and, after fixing my posture and readjusting my ice pack, I came to the following conclusion. "Unlike Rinne, she both owes me a big favor, and I have a direct means of control over her. Not to mention, she seems to be quite attached to me already."
"That's one way to put it," my girlfriend whispered under her breath, but did so loud enough for me to hear her. Probably on purpose. "So you plan to keep her?"
"That's also one way to put it," I confirmed her suspicion with a small nod. "I mean, she's technically a sentient, shape-shifting Chimera under my control. No matter how you look at it, that could come in handy in a number of scenarios."
"Such as?"
"Such as being your bodyguard," I dropped the bombshell I was preparing ever since I first thought of putting the tiny miko into the Chimera's body and learned that she could transform into other shapes, and based on how Judy immediately froze up, it actually rattled her a bit.
"Come again?"
"All right, just keep an open mind and hear me out: I told you I plan to outfit you with some defensive artifacts, but those are hard to make and require regular refilling because you can't use magic. The thing is, as long as you're around me and Elly, which I presume is going to be for quite a long while, it's only a question of time before someone gets the bright idea to target you as well. So, since I can't hover around you twenty-four-seven, the next best option is to have a bodyguard. Someone who can stay with you in your house, doesn't draw attention, and yet powerful enough to deter most kidnappers, assassins, and other assorted bad guys. If you think about it, I think a tiny Chimera disguised as a fox would be perfect for the job."
Judy gave me a very long, very deadpan staredown, put her phone down, looked me in the eye, and calmly stated, "Chief, is it just me, or does that sound like yet another major case of post hoc rationalization to you as well?"
"Oh please, Dormouse! Give me some credit! There's nothing 'post hoc' about it; I thought this up at least five minutes before I put her into that body!"
"Your defense of your actions makes paper seem like battle-tank plating," she jabbed back at me, but at last she sighed and told me, "I'll consider the idea, but I don't know if my parents would agree to let me adopt a fox."
"Tell them it's just a rare dog breed. Also, you can have her act cute in front of them; that should convince them."
There was a long pause in the conversation as my girlfriend's guard slowly but steadily crumbled, and at last she asked, "If, theoretically, I would take her home, what should I tell mom and dad?"
"Well… how about this: say that she belongs to the distant relative that came to my place, but she cannot be kept at my place, because Snowy is allergic to dogs, so I asked you to take care of her for a few days. Then a couple of days later we tell them that there were some complications, and she would have to stay over a bit longer, and then make that 'a bit longer' into 'indefinitely', and then she can stay over at your house forever."
"Not forever, only until after we finish high school and I move in with you," she corrected me, and I couldn't help but smile at her.
"You're thinking way ahead, as usual. Anyhow, I think that takes care of the fox issue, so let's move on. Next, there is Lord Grandpa. I have finally marked him, so now I can keep a direct eye on him. More importantly, while I managed to keep him in check for now, he strikes me as the type who would try to scheme anyway just for the heck of it, so even though we aren't exactly enemies, we aren't going to be friends either."
"I remember you saying you wanted to gain access to the archives in the School. Did you manage that?"
"Yeah, though I have a feeling they are going to scrub them before they'd let us in. Still, access to the papers on magical theory and more cross-reference materials for the Hub and the Dracis library could be invaluable in the long run."
"I see. Anything else?"
"Not much. We had some collateral damage in the secret base, some minor injuries, and Rinne's clan and the Knights are currently rogue elements, but otherwise things are under control."
"I mostly agree." Saying so, Judy theatrically swiped her finger across the screen of her phone, probably to switch to another file in the note app, and proclaimed, "Since the in-universe issues are clarified, I believe this is the point where we discuss the narrative ramifications of today's events."
"And you'd be correct," I answered, "Though I'm not fond of the term 'in-universe'."
"Mundane?"
"That just sounds weird when all we are talking about are supernatural things."
"Then how about 'profane' then?"
"Sounds a bit too religious."
"Intradiegetic?"
"… And to think there was a time when I had to explain to you what an 'otaku' was…" I uttered in mild amazement before stifling a chuckle and telling her, "Sure, let's go with that."
"Noted," she answered as she did just that on her phone, and then she waited for me to speak my mind.
"First and foremost, we can more or less conclude that we put a forceful end to the potential sentai genre shift. That part went as planned, in a manner of speaking. However, the way the rest of the events happened is very suspicious."
"Should we go with the usual Doylist and Watsonian explanations?"
"Yeah. I start with the Watsonian one this time," I answered, and once I collected my thoughts a little, I began with, "The attack on Labcoat Guy was, while rushed, technically under our control, and we had good reasons for it, as we needed to rescue Mike. We needed to rescue him because we needed to get him out of the crossfire before Lord Grandpa captured him along with Labcoat Guy, and he would do that because I borrowed his Grimoire Key without telling him ahead of time." I waited here for Judy to finish taking notes, then added, "Rinne attacked the base because she followed the trail of the Chimera left behind by the Faun transporting it. The Knights attacked the mansion with the intent to smash and grab the dragon slayer spear while Abram and Sebastian were away. Each of their actions makes internal sense, and none of them were aware of the others."
"Yet the timing was way too much to be a coincidence," Judy added with just a hint of skepticism in her voice.
"Not necessarily," I posited, as my role as the devil's advocate demanded from me. "Our own operation was done on short notice because of time constraints, but Rinne showing up at the base a day after the apparent defeat of the Chimera was entirely reasonable. I mean, if she did it out of the blue, that would've been pretty contrived, but since the trail was still fresh, her being able to follow her nose to the base still makes a modicum of sense."
"But if she could follow the trails of Abyssals so well, how come she never found the base by following the Faun?"
"That's… a very good question. She also couldn't recognize Snowy being an Abyssal, so maybe there are some conditions? I don't know, we should ask her about it later."
"Among other things. We still haven't properly interrogated her."
"True, but it's not like we're in a hurry; I doubt she could escape any time soon while being hogtied and guarded all the time. Putting her appearance aside, let's move on while my brain's still operational." Judy nodded along, so after another deep breath, I moved on to the third party of today's incident. "Explaining the timing of The Knights is a bit trickier, but still possible. Let's presume that their main goal was the spear and nothing else. Abram and Sebastian leaving ahead of time was something they couldn't have foreseen, but if their goal wasn't assassination, then two being absent actually provided a great opportunity for them. As for why they chose the exact moment when we attacked Labcoat Guy and Rinne showed up… I can only chalk that up to freak coincidence."
"So that was the Watsonian version. Do you want me to do the Doylist?" Judy asked, and a quickly shook my head.
"Wait, I'm not finished yet," I replied, and once I heaved the mother of all sighs, I began in earnest. "So, while the perfect timing of the events is still up in the air, I think the reason why everything crescendoed today is not. Simply put, it's because of my actions. For one, if I didn't tell Brang to bring the Chimera to the base, Rinne could've never find it in the first place. In fact, if I didn't try to keep it but disposed of it on the spot, she would have had no trail to follow to begin with."
I paused here for a moment to let Judy digest and note down my explanation, and I only continued after she finally looked up from her phone.
"As for Mike, he got captured because I asked him to gather artifacts. If he didn't contact Labcoat Guy and get captured by him, and he used some generic placeholder Celestial to construct his frame-job instead, we would've had no reason to rush in to rescue him. Not only that, but the only reason we needed to rescue him today was because I took the MacGuffin from the School, Lord Grandpa went on the warpath against Labcoat Guy, and we needed to get to Mike before he did." I punctuated my reasoning with a short pause here, and then concluded with, "Finally, for the Knights, they attacked ahead of time because I told Elly's family about myself and the original date of the attack, and because of that, they set a trap that inadvertently prompted the Knights to strike earlier than planned. In short, by going against the grain, I messed up the original order of events, and thus I'm indirectly responsible for what happened today."
I fell silent after my monologue and waited for Judy's response, and soon she put her phone aside and told me, "A valiant effort, Chief, but you didn't go far enough."
"Oh? All right, I'm listening," I prompted her, and she gave me a curt nod in return.
"The attack by the huntress and the Knights could certainly be chalked up to one-off coincidence, but it is also entirely possible that they were influenced by the Narrative. Rinne's supposed role was to hunt down the Chimera on the island. There's a possibility that, due to your interference, she didn't technically fulfill this role, and thus the Narrative led her to the base to finish the job, with her supernatural olfaction serving as means to explain how she could find it."
"Maybe, but whether it was because of the trail or because of narrative influence, it still leads to the same conclusion, and while we still don't know enough about the way the world enforces certain events, it was already established that she's a hunter, tracker, and that she can smell supernatural nasties like a hound. In short, I find the presence of narrative influence in this explanation to be superfluous."
"So you are invoking Occam's razor?"
"More or less," I supposed with a shrug.
"Fair enough. However, the other two events coinciding is still too conspicuous, and I believe it's because the narrative was trying its best to course-correct."
"Please do elaborate," I asked, and she immediately complied.
"By stealing the Grimoire Key, you caused a serious disturbance in the original plot. For the sake of the thought experiment, let's presume that the original involved Robatto butting heads with Lord Endymonion, and Josh and the others helping to defeat and capture him in the following days, and then when it looked like things would return to the status quo, The Knightly Brotherhood of the Most Heroic Bloodlines would stage their attack, raising the stakes and paving the way for the next arc. Are you following me so far?"
"Yeah, of course. I might look bad because of the fever, but my brain still works. Mostly."
"I'm glad to hear that," she said, though she still looked more than a little skeptical. Or worried. Or both. It was hard to tell, but in my defense, my brain was only 'mostly' working at the moment. Anyhow, she soon continued her theorizing. "With the previous hypothetical scenario in mind, here's what I think happened: by stealing the Grimoire Key while framing Robatto, you did two things that unintentionally messed up the narrative: you completely changed Lord Endymonion's priorities regarding Doctor Robatto, and you caused the island to be locked down. The first was an issue because it would logically force the Arch-mage and the School to strike down Robatto on their own, thus robbing Joshua and the others of their final confrontation with the antagonist."
"So you think the Narrative manipulated us to take down Labcoat Guy before Lord Grandpa could do it?" She nodded in confirmation, and I couldn't help but frown in return. "I… honestly don't think I felt manipulated or side-tracked though. Sure, I wasn't really happy about how much we had to rush it, but the whole idea felt logical at the time, and it still makes internal sense to me."
"I don't think we were all influenced by the Narrative, only Amelia," Judy proposed in a solemn voice.
"Now that you mention it, she really was the one who pushed the hardest for Mike's immediate rescue." I concurred while crossing my fingers in my lap. "Not to mention, her rapidly developing a fondness for the guy is also a little suspect."
"Precisely my point. In my opinion, to preserve the final confrontation without breaking the internal consistency of the world, the Narrative rushed the scenario and had Amelia be there to justify it to the rest of us. I also think that the way we all agreed was a little too easy, but as you said, I didn't feel anything out of place at the time."
"So the first point is that to preserve the action-climax against Labcoat Guy, the Narrative twisted itself into a pretzel to justify a rushed resolution, and Ammy was manipulated, either directly or indirectly, into pushing us all in that direction. Okay, I can grant you that as a hypothesis for the time being. What about the second point?"
"The School locking down the island and the coming of the Assembly investigators," Judy reiterated. "I believe it was the cause behind the Knights' abrupt attack. I doubt the lockdown would be lifted for a while, even after you gave the Grimoire Key back to the Arch-mage, because they have to keep up appearances in front of the rest of the Assembly. That means the Knights currently on the island cannot leave, and their reinforcements would have a harder time infiltrating, limiting their numbers to just the small group already on the island."
"There's going to be one more Knight on the island," I noted, and since Judy gave me a curious look, I explained, "I used Far Sight on them, and overheard that one more entitled one was already on the way to the island. She's probably the Unicorn Knight, and if these guys are to be trusted, she should be able to join them without triggering any alarms."
"Good to know," she responded half-heartedly, and after jotting the new info down into her notes, she continued with, "Either way, their numbers on the island were limited at the time, and since Abram and Sebastian were already back, the narrative likely pushed the attack forward in the small gap where they would still have the opportunity to take the spear without the interference of the men of the family or the Assembly."
"Except I already took the spear."
"Yes, but by that point things were already in motion and I think the important part was the confrontation itself, not the spear. You also further interfered with them, effectively neutering them as a potential threat. This might have some serious consequences on the next arc."
"In case we really are operating on arcs, you mean. Anyhow, let me try to sum up your argument: by taking the MacGuffin, I accidentally caused a situation that would've sabotaged the original climax of the theoretical arc if it played out as theoretically planned, so the Narrative tried to course-correct by rushing the Labcoat Guy and the Knight plots to a conclusion, while Rinne was just…"
"A spanner in the works," my assistant stated. "Either that, or she was always meant to go crazy and attack us, and since the Chimera-subplot was already resolved, the narrative arranged things so that she could do it anyway."
"Considering how unstable she used to be, that's not entirely off the table," I whispered in response, but I wasn't exactly convinced either.
Her interpretation of the events sounded plausible, and this time I was almost tempted to believe her hypothesis, if for nothing else then because it meant that this nebulous Narrative of ours was not infallible. After all, if she's right, then everything happened today because I accidentally derailed the original plans, but instead of forcefully course-correcting us, it resulted in a patch-work mess where events were pushed around and a couple of plot-devices, such as Emese's wound or the taking of the spear ended up completely subverted. We still had a scary entity that may or may not be consciously orchestrating our lives, but at the same time, it wasn't omnipotent or omniscient enough to keep things stick to the rails. Judy got her Narrative pet theory seemingly validated, and I got my reassurance that hard work and some arguably less-than-reasonable stunts can still provide us a way out of possible predetermination. It felt like having my cake and eating it too. In a way, it was almost too good to be true.
Maybe that was why I had a hard time accepting it. As far as hypotheses were concerned, it was an okay one, but it all hinged on her hypothetical original scenario without my interference being on the mark, something we simply couldn't confirm. In fact, while exploring the supernatural limits of the world provided us with something to work on, and we could still perform certain simple experiments, the original roadblock we ran into a while back was still present: without actually being able to see what the 'original plot' was supposed to be like, it was impossible to tell what effect, if any, our actions had on it. Case in point, while we've spent all this time discussing how my actions may or may not have affected the Narrative, and how it may or may not have pushed back by influencing Ammy, the Knights, and possibly Rinne, there was no guarantee that today's events weren't how things were supposed to happen from the very get-go, and we were still solidly on the rails. Until we can find a way to somehow overcome this hurdle, I was afraid most of our theorycrafting would stay just that.
Anyhow, all of this was something that definitely required more mental elbow grease, and preferably when my head wasn't feeling like it had a red hot woodsman's axe embedded in it.
"I still think we're missing a few steps, and coming up with a few alternative explanations wouldn't hurt, but considering how fresh the events are, I don't think we can analyze them any further right now. Also, I'm feeling really damn battered right now, so should we stop now, or do we have something else to discuss?"
"We have a lot of things to discuss," Judy answered a bit peevishly, probably unhappy about how I still wasn't in complete agreement with her, "But considering how sick you are, I'll let you rest after one last thing."
"How gracious of you," I replied with a grin that made her look a tad worried, so I quickly wiped the expression off my face and said, "I'm listening."
"What happened after you 'came out' of the sword?"
"Oh, that?" I collected my thoughts for a second and told her, "Well, since Ichiko was in trouble, I decided to move her into the body of the Chimera. It wasn't exactly simple, but since it didn't have a soul but an already installed control enchantment, I managed to do it anyway aaaaaaaand that's not what you wanted to know, is it?"
Judy immediately shook her head with a miniscule frown.
"No, I meant while you were acting weird. The Fauns said you completely ignored them, and you didn't answer to me when I called out to you either."
To my surprise, and concern, she seemed almost rattled for a moment, so I quickly told her, "I honestly don't know. I can remember what happened, but everything is a little fuzzy. I felt… kind of detached for a moment. Like I was not completely back in my body after I finished tinkering with Onikiri."
"So it was caused by the sword?"
"Not necessarily. My five cents are on simply overworking myself, or some kind of interplay between spending so much time inside the supernatural stratum while already being sick from Phasing too much. We probably wouldn't know until I tried overexerting myself again under controlled circumstances."
"Not now," Judy warned me, and if I wasn't afraid the ice pack would fall off my head, I would have rolled my eyes harder than eyes have ever been rolled in the history of mankind.
"Obviously. Still, it was… How should I put it? Back then, I think I was hyper-aware, or knew things. Important things that I can't remember right now, but they felt really important. It was… kind of like when you are in a dream, and inside the dream everything makes sense, but when you wake up, you don't remember any of it."
My girlfriend sent me a wry look and immediately reached out to touch my forehead.
"Chief, I think you're starting to get delirious. How would you know what it feels to dream when you never sleep?"
"I'm talking in general, not from personal experience."
"Either way, you're getting that cold shower, and then we discuss this again."
I was just about to protest, but the words could never leave my mouth, as our alone-time was interrupted by a new voice entering the fray.
"Ue-sama! Judy-ue!"
We both looked towards the slowly opening door, and from the other side came a little girl wearing a light-green summer dress that reached down to her knees. She wasn't wearing anything else than that, not even socks, but hey, it was still better than running around naked. Though again, she was doing that as a fox anyway, but that's beside the point.
"How do I look?" Asking so, Ichiko did a small pirouette, both her long hair and the long skirt billowing around her before she came to a stop.
"Decently cute," I noted, only to receive a sharp look from my girlfriend. "What?"
"You're only allowed to call her cute when she's a fox," Judy declared with the kind of finality usually reserved for supreme judges.
"Well, whether I'm allowed or not, she is. Anyone would be cute in those clothes. In fact, I bet that you would look downright adorable in that kind of outfit."
For a moment Judy didn't seem to be able to decide how to react to that, but in the end she chose to take it as a compliment. Or at least I think so, because she didn't bother me about it any longer. In the meantime, the tiny miko started squirming, and after a short while, she turned to my assistant.
"Judy-ue? Where's the toilet?"
She gave her a skeptical look, but since she looked entirely serious, Judy stood up and took her by the hand.
"This way. I told you not to drink so much tea."
"But it was sweet…" the little girl whined, and before I knew it, I was once again alone in my room.
Well, at least they got along. That was a positive.
Thinking so, I rolled back to my PC, opened up the browser again, and once I saw that there was nothing noteworthy happening on the Hub, I opened a new tab and typed 'summer dress, light green' into the search bar while wondering how I could find out Judy's size without her being the wiser…
Chapter 182: ~Chapter 64~ Part 1
"I've already noticed, thank you," I answered with a tired grumble, though she didn't seem to mind and simply retracted her hand.
"I'll go get a cold towel then," she proposed and waited to hear my response.
"It didn't help much the last time, but I would still appreciate it."
My reply apparently pleased her, as she gave me a determined nod before she swiftly turned on her heel and walked out of my room, leaving me alone in front of my PC. Well, okay, not entirely alone, as the tiny miko, still in her fluffy fox form, was currently curled up in my lap and watching the monitor in front of us with sparkling eyes.
"Ue-sama! Ue-sama! Click on that!"
"On what?" I griped under my breath, and she raised one stubby paw to gesture towards the corner of the screen.
"They have hakamas! And kosodes too!"
It took me a couple of seconds to figure out just what she was talking about, but then I finally noticed an animated advertisement banner near the bottom. It was… certainly a miko outfit, except less of an 'authentic traditional' style one, but more of a… Oh, fine, let's not beat around the bush: it was an ad for a webshop selling fetish costumes for frisky couples who wanted to spice up their sex lives. If the see-through nature of the upper-wear didn't make that perfectly obvious, the various latex 'tools' showing up as the banner kept scrolling made things blindingly obvious. Thankfully the fox-girl on my lap didn't know how they were supposed to be used (even I was a little baffled by a few of them), so before she could ask, I quickly right-clicked on the banner and added it to my ad-blocker's blacklist.
"Sorry, but I doubt they would have it in your size," I told her flatly, but then after a moment of consideration I added, "If you behave yourself, I'll get you one from a cosplay-maker or something."
"Really? Thank you, ue-sama!"
I ignored her wagging tail and, after placing my orders on the currently open site's shop for the various materials required for making a holding cell or two, I closed the window. Under that, there was the utilitarian interface of the Celestial Hub. I originally internally debated whether or not I should even show this to Ichiko, but considering I still had my off-switch for her, I didn't think letting her catch a glimpse of the Hub would make a difference.
More importantly though, a quick glance at the 'recent uploads' section told me that there were already a couple of reports coming in regarding today's events. I quickly skimmed them, but there was nothing in them I already didn't know about. In fact, there was actually quite a bit of misinformation, which was nice. That meant even they weren't sure what was going on, so I could probably completely lead them astray by a few well-placed reports with 'validated' information telling them that, say, it was all Lord Grandpa's fault and the teens involved in the incidents were totally unimportant. Speaking of which, a quick glance at the forums also showed that the regulars were all busy speculating about what happened, and the prevailing theory was that everything surrounding the break-in at the school was just an elaborate ruse by the Assembly to try and get a reaction out of Celestial Information Network, and advised the local agents to stay low. That also sounded like a nice lead I should 'encourage'.
But now that the resident assets came up, it reminded me of a certain Celestial, so I went back to the repository, yet couldn't find any reports or posts made by Mike. That was a little odd, considering how deeply involved he was this time around. On a whim, I decided to Far Glance at the guy, and I found him in his apartment, seemingly safe and sound. He was sitting in a well-lit room, he was hunched over his computer and, coincidentally, he was staring at the very same interface that I was. That was odd, considering that the last time I checked his status it showed that he was offline, but then I came out Far Sight and used my administrator privileges to check his profile directly, and it showed that he was actually just hidden.
This all felt slightly suspicious, so after thinking things through, I decided to send a PM to him and see how he would react.
"Admin: Ninja, are you online?"
I waited for over a minute for him to react, and I was even considering another Far Glance when he finally wrote back.
"W1NG3D N1NJ4: HELLO ADMIN! THANK DEUS YOU CALLED, I'M IN SOME DEEP POO RIGHT NOW!!!
〜(＞＜)〜"
"Admin: I see there was an incident on Critias. Were you involved?"
"What are you doing?"
"I'm probing Mike," I told her while readjusting the towel.
"I see," she whispered, and then a short beat later she pointed at my left hand. "Why are you only typing with one hand?"
"My right hand is still a little numb," I lied to her without batting an eye. In fact, I literally couldn't move my fingers at all, and even raising my arm hurt like hell, but she didn't need to know that.
In the meantime, the Celestial on the other side of the screen finally finished typing.
"W1NG3D N1NJ4: I WAS KINDA INVOLVED BUT KINDA NOT. IT'S COMPLICATED……… (〃＞＿＜;〃) "
"W1NG3D N1NJ4: MORE IMPORTANTLY, PLEASE HELP ME OUT!!! (シ_ _)シ"
"W1NG3D N1NJ4: I'M ASKING THIS FOR A FRIEND: LET'S SAY MY FRIEND HAS A FRIEND WHO IS NOT REALLY A FRIEND AND IS ACTUALLY A LITTLE SCARY! THIS FRIEND OF A FRIEND HELPED OUT MY FRIEND, AND NOW MY FRIEND KNOWS ABOUT HIS SECRET! (￣ω￣;)"
"W1NG3D N1NJ4: I MEAN I THINK IT'S A SECRET, BUT I'M NOT SURE, BUT IT'S A BIG DEAL, AND OTHER PEOPLE WOULD PROBABLY LIKE TO KNOW THIS SECRET, BUT MY FRIEND OWES HIM ONE AND DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!! (O_O;)"
"W1NG3D N1NJ4: ADMIIIIIN! PLEASE HEEEEEELP MEEEEE!!! (シ_ _)シ"
"W1NG3D N1NJ4: I MEAN, PLEASE HEEEEEELP MY FRIEEEEEND!1!!!! (シ_ _)シ (シ_ _)シ"
I pondered how I should respond for a few seconds, and in the end I decided on a slightly forceful approach.
"Admin: When you said 'helping out', do you mean a small favor, or something more significant."
"W1NG3D N1NJ4: VEEEEERY SIGNIFICANT! LIFE-SAVING AND STUFF!!! (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)"
"Admin: I see. And is this friend of a friend a threat to our cause?"
This time there was a longer pause before the answer.
"W1NG3D N1NJ4: I DON'T THINK SO. HE IS REALLY COOPERATIVE AND HELPFUL. (≧ω≦)"
"W1NG3D N1NJ4: AND SCARY… {{ (>_<) }}"
"W1NG3D N1NJ4: BUT NOT A BAD GUY! DEFINITELY NOT! (＞﹏＜)"
"W1NG3D N1NJ4: YES!"
"W1NG3D N1NJ4: I MEAN NO! HE SAVED MY FRIEND, REMEMBER!!!!1!!!one!!! (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)"
"Admin: Yeah, sure."
"Admin: Anyhow, this friend of a friend sounds like a useful asset. Unless his secret is directly threatening our continued operations, I'd personally prioritize maintaining a productive relationship with them."
"Admin: If sharing certain information about them would jeopardize that, I'd recommend keeping it a secret for the time being."
"W1NG3D N1NJ4: YESSS!!! THANK YOU ADMIN, YOU ARE THE BEST!!! ＼(≧▽≦)／"
"Admin: You're welcome."
After I finished typing, Judy took the opportunity to shift the ice pack over to my forehead while simultaneously sticking a thermometer into my mouth.
"He's quite gullible," my girlfriend noted after a single glance at the screen, and if it wouldn't have disturbed the pack on my head, I would've probably shrugged in agreement.
"That's a mean way to put it, but not inaccurate. That said, I'm actually glad he isn't particularly competent; this way I don't have to worry too much about him secretly subverting us."
"He could be playing a role to lower your guard," she moved the conversation along while wiping the sweat off my neck, and I could instantly tell that she didn't actually mean it.
"I keep him under surveillance, so unless he plays the fool even when he's all alone on the toilet, I'm fairly sure I would have noticed any nefarious scheming by now."
"You like to peep on people on the toilet? Chief, I never figured you would have such a fetish."
"You're not funny," I grumbled, but instead of responding, Judy took the thermometer from my mouth and raised it to her eye-level.
"Thirty-nine point seven degrees Celsius." She noted before pocketing the device and adding, "That's almost forty. If it doesn't go down soon, you're taking a cold shower."
"That sounded more like an order than an advice…"
"Because it was. If this continues, we might have to go to the hospital."
"Or we could just ask Angie to heal me?" I proposed, only to be immediately shot down.
"It didn't help the last time you had a fever from overworking."
"Good. Now behave yourself, and no more random teleporting today."
"… Are you still mad about that?"
"I'm not mad, I'm just concerned," she replied a tad unenthusiastically while removing the wet towel, airing it a bit, and then re-wrapping the ice pack before placing it on me again.
"Ue-sama and Judy-ue have such a beautiful relationship," the little fox commented on the side between stifled giggles, and for the love of me, I couldn't see what she meant.
Judy was about to say something else, but then we were all slightly startled by the sound of a car horn coming from the outside. My dearest assistant swiftly moved over to the window and, after a single glance outside, she turned back to me.
"Father's here. I'll be right back."
"Wait, hold on for a moment," I stopped her in her tracks before she could leave the room. "I think I'm missing something. Why is your father here again?"
"When I phoned home and told my parents that I'm staying over, I also took the opportunity to ask them to bring over some of my old clothes that no longer fit me." I probably made quite a befuddled face, because she quickly added, "I told mom that one of your distant relatives is staying with you, but her luggage got lost and she needs a change of clothes."
"Clever."
"Thank you," she responded with a thin yet obviously delighted smile. I was a little taken aback by that. I mean, it wasn't like I didn't praise her when she deserved it (which was quite often), so her reaction felt a little too much… but then again, most people probably couldn't even notice her smile, so maybe I was getting oversensitive?
"Judy-ue brought me clothes!" the chunky fox on my lap exclaimed with obvious mirth and jumped off me with a happy 'Yip!' noise, instantly cutting my train of thought short in the process. "Can I come along? Can I see them?"
Judy glanced at the fluffball on the floor, then back at me, and when I didn't voice any objections, she ultimately told her, "Yes, but no talking in front of my dad."
Ichiko nodded over and over again in response and scurried next to Judy's feet, but before they left, my girlfriend sent me one last sharp look.
"No Phasing while I'm away," she warned me, and I couldn't decide whether I wanted to laugh or cry.
"Dormouse, I'm having a forty degrees fever and can barely stand on my legs, let alone teleport around."
"It didn't stop you an hour ago," she countered.
"Yes, because back then I only had a thirty-eight degrees fever. Big difference." She apparently didn't find my objection amusing, so I heaved a sigh and told her, "Fine, I promise I won't disappear anywhere. Just go, don't keep your father waiting."
She looked me in the eye for a while with an expression that could be easily translated to 'You better be here when I come back, or I will kick your butt!', and considering how weak I was feeling at a moment, she actually had a good chance of keeping her end of the threat. That would have been pretty embarrassing, so I put on my trustworthiest visage and flashed a hopefully not too strained smile in her general direction. At last, she left in the company of the foxy miko, and the moment she closed the door behind her, I couldn't help but let a long groan escape through my clenched teeth.
I really was feeling pretty terrible at the moment. The headache was back, with a vengeance, and more troublingly, it was still getting worse over time. My right hand also hurt like crazy, though if I didn't try to move it, it was still bearable. All my other joints were sensitive as well, but that was probably because of the fever. Oh, and I could barely feel my legs, but that was mainly due to Ichiko sitting on them until now, so it didn't count.
"That was quick," I whispered under my breath while I waited for the file to open.
After skimming it, I was relieved to see that, while he broadly detailed his perspective on today's events, the method of his escape was left fairly vague. Also, if what he wrote was to be believed, he interacted with Labcoat Guy using a fake identity, so even if he spilled the beans while in Lord Grandpa's custody, at most he could only give a general description of Mike's appearance. Even if the Arch-mage decided to look into him, there was a good chance he wouldn't be found… but then again, the guy was quite enamored with his granddaughter, so that might complicate things.
I was just about to Far Glance at Labcoat Guy to see if he was being interrogated, but then Judy suddenly burst into the room, startling me for a moment.
"… What?" I blurted out with a no-doubt quite befuddled grimace spreading over my face.
"Nothing," my assistant stated with an even pokerier face than usual as she gently closed the door behind her. "I'm just glad to see that you really didn't go anywhere."
"I told you I wouldn't…!" I objected, only to swallow the rest of my complaints and instead tell her, "Never mind. In case I forget, please remind me to ask Labcoat Guy about how much he told the Magi about Mike."
"Will do," she answered while walking up to me and putting a hand on my cheek. "You're still burning up."
"Yeah, and I have a feeling it's not going to get better any time soon." It was around this time that my brain finally registered the conspicuous absence of a certain red fur ball. "Where's Ichiko?"
"In the guest room. She said she wanted to see if any of the clothes that dad brought fit her. Also, speaking of my father, he told me to remind you that he still has a shotgun."
"Your dad is as charming as ever," I griped in a voice flatter but the salt plains, and Judy simply shrugged my complaints away.
"He's just protective."
That line of conversation fizzled out right there, so after a long but not necessarily uncomfortable beat later, I gestured for Judy to sit on my bed, and I also rolled closer in my chair.
"So, since hopefully the day is over, how about we discuss this epic mess we just weathered?"
"I concur. The sooner, the better," she agreed right away and took out her phone with practiced motions.
"Good. So, let's start by summarizing the current situation." I paused to take a deep breath, then began. "First off, Labcoat Guy is neutralized, and I 'convinced' Lord Grandpa to put him in our custody. With some luck, that should put an end to the genre shift and we could prevent any future resurgence of sentai shenanigans."
"You say 'custody', but what exactly are we going to do with him?"
"Good question. I haven't thought much about it yet, but for the time being I think I'll lock him up in the secret base and have the Fauns keep him under surveillance. As for later, I think we might be able to use him. So long as we provide him the means and the incentive, I think he could be useful for probing the supernatural substrate and the limits and exact mechanisms of the world. He could also aid us in performing some of the experiments we couldn't do because of lack of equipment and resources."
"Sounds feasible. He's a scientist, even if a mad one," Judy commented while speed-tapping on her phone, and I nodded while waiting for her to finish.
"That's right. As for the fembot, we might be able to put her to use after her weaponry is removed."
"Oh, ha-ha," I said, rolling my eyes in the process. "That's a really original joke that I've never heard before. How utterly amusing."
"I was serious though."
I sent my assistant a flat look in return for her honestly and told her, "For the umpteenth time; I don't have a maid fetish."
"We did get a reaction out of you when we dressed up though," she noted without even a hint of shyness, prompting me to roll my eyes again.
"Yes, but it was just a tiiiiiiiiiny reaction, and only because it was you two. I don't want to just arbitrarily put everyone into them."
"So, if I understand this right," Judy began, only to dramatically pause and lower her phone before finishing with, "You don't like maids, but you like it when Elly and I dress as maids."
"… In a manner of speaking," I admitted a tad begrudgingly.
"So it's all right if we dress as maids."
"Maybe every once in a while," I finally relented, at which point my girlfriend directed a downright triumphant smirk at me, annoying me to no end. "We're veering way off-topic. How about we discuss your fetish for dressing up as maids later and return to the previous conversation?"
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"Chief, don't just insinuate something like that and then change the subject," my dearest assistant protested, only to be summarily ignored by yours truly."Too late, I already did," I declared with a grin before adopting a more serious expression and saying, "Next, the Knights attacked sooner than expected. Thankfully there were no casualties on either side, and we even got a new sword and a rare artifact out of the deal."
"We also learned that they were specifically looking for the dragon-slaying spear," Judy noted, though the way her brows were ever so slightly angled told me she was still sore about my previous comment.
"Yeah. Good thing I figured something like this would happen and took it ahead of time. It will be a little tricky to explain it to Sebastian though, but I'll cross that bridge when I get there."
"You marked one of them, didn't you?"
"Yeah, I did. They are going to be staying on the island because of the lockdown, and there are more of them coming, but for the time being they should be laying low. I'll try to keep an eye on them, but I only managed to mark one of the grunts, so I won't be able to see all of their movements."
"That still leaves us with more information than what we had yesterday," Judy remarked, and a few taps later she also added a question. "Let me address the elephant in the room: what are we going to do with Rinne and Ichiko?"
"You mean the fox not in the room?" I jested, but then exhaled a short breath and told her, in a more serious tone, "The two of them weren't exactly in their right mind when they attacked us, but they still tried to kill me. Rinne is a little tricky to place. Her temper seemingly calmed down quite a bit after she was separated from her sword, but I think we're probably best off keeping her in custody for a while. If she behaves herself, we can probably let her go."
"You don't want to recruit her?" she asked, though I couldn't help but feel that there was the tiniest of edges in her words. "You have a habit of doing that to people that tried to kill you."
I wanted to protest, but then I thought about it for a moment. Brang, Snowy, Labcoat Guy and his fembot, the fox-girl in the next room… Okay, maybe she did have a point, but not in this case in particular.
"Reasonable. What about Ichiko?"
"That's… a trickier question," I mused aloud and, after fixing my posture and readjusting my ice pack, I came to the following conclusion. "Unlike Rinne, she both owes me a big favor, and I have a direct means of control over her. Not to mention, she seems to be quite attached to me already."
"That's one way to put it," my girlfriend whispered under her breath, but did so loud enough for me to hear her. Probably on purpose. "So you plan to keep her?"
"That's also one way to put it," I confirmed her suspicion with a small nod. "I mean, she's technically a sentient, shape-shifting Chimera under my control. No matter how you look at it, that could come in handy in a number of scenarios."
"Such as?"
"Such as being your bodyguard," I dropped the bombshell I was preparing ever since I first thought of putting the tiny miko into the Chimera's body and learned that she could transform into other shapes, and based on how Judy immediately froze up, it actually rattled her a bit.
"Come again?"
"All right, just keep an open mind and hear me out: I told you I plan to outfit you with some defensive artifacts, but those are hard to make and require regular refilling because you can't use magic. The thing is, as long as you're around me and Elly, which I presume is going to be for quite a long while, it's only a question of time before someone gets the bright idea to target you as well. So, since I can't hover around you twenty-four-seven, the next best option is to have a bodyguard. Someone who can stay with you in your house, doesn't draw attention, and yet powerful enough to deter most kidnappers, assassins, and other assorted bad guys. If you think about it, I think a tiny Chimera disguised as a fox would be perfect for the job."
Judy gave me a very long, very deadpan staredown, put her phone down, looked me in the eye, and calmly stated, "Chief, is it just me, or does that sound like yet another major case of post hoc rationalization to you as well?"
"Oh please, Dormouse! Give me some credit! There's nothing 'post hoc' about it; I thought this up at least five minutes before I put her into that body!"
"Your defense of your actions makes paper seem like battle-tank plating," she jabbed back at me, but at last she sighed and told me, "I'll consider the idea, but I don't know if my parents would agree to let me adopt a fox."
"Tell them it's just a rare dog breed. Also, you can have her act cute in front of them; that should convince them."
There was a long pause in the conversation as my girlfriend's guard slowly but steadily crumbled, and at last she asked, "If, theoretically, I would take her home, what should I tell mom and dad?"
"Well… how about this: say that she belongs to the distant relative that came to my place, but she cannot be kept at my place, because Snowy is allergic to dogs, so I asked you to take care of her for a few days. Then a couple of days later we tell them that there were some complications, and she would have to stay over a bit longer, and then make that 'a bit longer' into 'indefinitely', and then she can stay over at your house forever."
"Not forever, only until after we finish high school and I move in with you," she corrected me, and I couldn't help but smile at her.
"You're thinking way ahead, as usual. Anyhow, I think that takes care of the fox issue, so let's move on. Next, there is Lord Grandpa. I have finally marked him, so now I can keep a direct eye on him. More importantly, while I managed to keep him in check for now, he strikes me as the type who would try to scheme anyway just for the heck of it, so even though we aren't exactly enemies, we aren't going to be friends either."
"I remember you saying you wanted to gain access to the archives in the School. Did you manage that?"
"Yeah, though I have a feeling they are going to scrub them before they'd let us in. Still, access to the papers on magical theory and more cross-reference materials for the Hub and the Dracis library could be invaluable in the long run."
"I see. Anything else?"
"I mostly agree." Saying so, Judy theatrically swiped her finger across the screen of her phone, probably to switch to another file in the note app, and proclaimed, "Since the in-universe issues are clarified, I believe this is the point where we discuss the narrative ramifications of today's events."
"And you'd be correct," I answered, "Though I'm not fond of the term 'in-universe'."
"Mundane?"
"That just sounds weird when all we are talking about are supernatural things."
"Then how about 'profane' then?"
"Sounds a bit too religious."
"Intradiegetic?"
"… And to think there was a time when I had to explain to you what an 'otaku' was…" I uttered in mild amazement before stifling a chuckle and telling her, "Sure, let's go with that."
"Noted," she answered as she did just that on her phone, and then she waited for me to speak my mind.
"First and foremost, we can more or less conclude that we put a forceful end to the potential sentai genre shift. That part went as planned, in a manner of speaking. However, the way the rest of the events happened is very suspicious."
"Should we go with the usual Doylist and Watsonian explanations?"
"Yeah. I start with the Watsonian one this time," I answered, and once I collected my thoughts a little, I began with, "The attack on Labcoat Guy was, while rushed, technically under our control, and we had good reasons for it, as we needed to rescue Mike. We needed to rescue him because we needed to get him out of the crossfire before Lord Grandpa captured him along with Labcoat Guy, and he would do that because I borrowed his Grimoire Key without telling him ahead of time." I waited here for Judy to finish taking notes, then added, "Rinne attacked the base because she followed the trail of the Chimera left behind by the Faun transporting it. The Knights attacked the mansion with the intent to smash and grab the dragon slayer spear while Abram and Sebastian were away. Each of their actions makes internal sense, and none of them were aware of the others."
"Yet the timing was way too much to be a coincidence," Judy added with just a hint of skepticism in her voice.
"Not necessarily," I posited, as my role as the devil's advocate demanded from me. "Our own operation was done on short notice because of time constraints, but Rinne showing up at the base a day after the apparent defeat of the Chimera was entirely reasonable. I mean, if she did it out of the blue, that would've been pretty contrived, but since the trail was still fresh, her being able to follow her nose to the base still makes a modicum of sense."
"But if she could follow the trails of Abyssals so well, how come she never found the base by following the Faun?"
"That's… a very good question. She also couldn't recognize Snowy being an Abyssal, so maybe there are some conditions? I don't know, we should ask her about it later."
"Among other things. We still haven't properly interrogated her."
"True, but it's not like we're in a hurry; I doubt she could escape any time soon while being hogtied and guarded all the time. Putting her appearance aside, let's move on while my brain's still operational." Judy nodded along, so after another deep breath, I moved on to the third party of today's incident. "Explaining the timing of The Knights is a bit trickier, but still possible. Let's presume that their main goal was the spear and nothing else. Abram and Sebastian leaving ahead of time was something they couldn't have foreseen, but if their goal wasn't assassination, then two being absent actually provided a great opportunity for them. As for why they chose the exact moment when we attacked Labcoat Guy and Rinne showed up… I can only chalk that up to freak coincidence."
"So that was the Watsonian version. Do you want me to do the Doylist?" Judy asked, and a quickly shook my head.
I paused here for a moment to let Judy digest and note down my explanation, and I only continued after she finally looked up from her phone.
"As for Mike, he got captured because I asked him to gather artifacts. If he didn't contact Labcoat Guy and get captured by him, and he used some generic placeholder Celestial to construct his frame-job instead, we would've had no reason to rush in to rescue him. Not only that, but the only reason we needed to rescue him today was because I took the MacGuffin from the School, Lord Grandpa went on the warpath against Labcoat Guy, and we needed to get to Mike before he did." I punctuated my reasoning with a short pause here, and then concluded with, "Finally, for the Knights, they attacked ahead of time because I told Elly's family about myself and the original date of the attack, and because of that, they set a trap that inadvertently prompted the Knights to strike earlier than planned. In short, by going against the grain, I messed up the original order of events, and thus I'm indirectly responsible for what happened today."
I fell silent after my monologue and waited for Judy's response, and soon she put her phone aside and told me, "A valiant effort, Chief, but you didn't go far enough."
"Oh? All right, I'm listening," I prompted her, and she gave me a curt nod in return.
"The attack by the huntress and the Knights could certainly be chalked up to one-off coincidence, but it is also entirely possible that they were influenced by the Narrative. Rinne's supposed role was to hunt down the Chimera on the island. There's a possibility that, due to your interference, she didn't technically fulfill this role, and thus the Narrative led her to the base to finish the job, with her supernatural olfaction serving as means to explain how she could find it."
"Maybe, but whether it was because of the trail or because of narrative influence, it still leads to the same conclusion, and while we still don't know enough about the way the world enforces certain events, it was already established that she's a hunter, tracker, and that she can smell supernatural nasties like a hound. In short, I find the presence of narrative influence in this explanation to be superfluous."
"So you are invoking Occam's razor?"
"More or less," I supposed with a shrug.
"Fair enough. However, the other two events coinciding is still too conspicuous, and I believe it's because the narrative was trying its best to course-correct."
"Please do elaborate," I asked, and she immediately complied.
"By stealing the Grimoire Key, you caused a serious disturbance in the original plot. For the sake of the thought experiment, let's presume that the original involved Robatto butting heads with Lord Endymonion, and Josh and the others helping to defeat and capture him in the following days, and then when it looked like things would return to the status quo, The Knightly Brotherhood of the Most Heroic Bloodlines would stage their attack, raising the stakes and paving the way for the next arc. Are you following me so far?"
"Yeah, of course. I might look bad because of the fever, but my brain still works. Mostly."
"I'm glad to hear that," she said, though she still looked more than a little skeptical. Or worried. Or both. It was hard to tell, but in my defense, my brain was only 'mostly' working at the moment. Anyhow, she soon continued her theorizing. "With the previous hypothetical scenario in mind, here's what I think happened: by stealing the Grimoire Key while framing Robatto, you did two things that unintentionally messed up the narrative: you completely changed Lord Endymonion's priorities regarding Doctor Robatto, and you caused the island to be locked down. The first was an issue because it would logically force the Arch-mage and the School to strike down Robatto on their own, thus robbing Joshua and the others of their final confrontation with the antagonist."
"So you think the Narrative manipulated us to take down Labcoat Guy before Lord Grandpa could do it?" She nodded in confirmation, and I couldn't help but frown in return. "I… honestly don't think I felt manipulated or side-tracked though. Sure, I wasn't really happy about how much we had to rush it, but the whole idea felt logical at the time, and it still makes internal sense to me."
"I don't think we were all influenced by the Narrative, only Amelia," Judy proposed in a solemn voice.
"Now that you mention it, she really was the one who pushed the hardest for Mike's immediate rescue." I concurred while crossing my fingers in my lap. "Not to mention, her rapidly developing a fondness for the guy is also a little suspect."
"Precisely my point. In my opinion, to preserve the final confrontation without breaking the internal consistency of the world, the Narrative rushed the scenario and had Amelia be there to justify it to the rest of us. I also think that the way we all agreed was a little too easy, but as you said, I didn't feel anything out of place at the time."
"So the first point is that to preserve the action-climax against Labcoat Guy, the Narrative twisted itself into a pretzel to justify a rushed resolution, and Ammy was manipulated, either directly or indirectly, into pushing us all in that direction. Okay, I can grant you that as a hypothesis for the time being. What about the second point?"
"The School locking down the island and the coming of the Assembly investigators," Judy reiterated. "I believe it was the cause behind the Knights' abrupt attack. I doubt the lockdown would be lifted for a while, even after you gave the Grimoire Key back to the Arch-mage, because they have to keep up appearances in front of the rest of the Assembly. That means the Knights currently on the island cannot leave, and their reinforcements would have a harder time infiltrating, limiting their numbers to just the small group already on the island."
"Good to know," she responded half-heartedly, and after jotting the new info down into her notes, she continued with, "Either way, their numbers on the island were limited at the time, and since Abram and Sebastian were already back, the narrative likely pushed the attack forward in the small gap where they would still have the opportunity to take the spear without the interference of the men of the family or the Assembly."
"Except I already took the spear."
"Yes, but by that point things were already in motion and I think the important part was the confrontation itself, not the spear. You also further interfered with them, effectively neutering them as a potential threat. This might have some serious consequences on the next arc."
"In case we really are operating on arcs, you mean. Anyhow, let me try to sum up your argument: by taking the MacGuffin, I accidentally caused a situation that would've sabotaged the original climax of the theoretical arc if it played out as theoretically planned, so the Narrative tried to course-correct by rushing the Labcoat Guy and the Knight plots to a conclusion, while Rinne was just…"
"A spanner in the works," my assistant stated. "Either that, or she was always meant to go crazy and attack us, and since the Chimera-subplot was already resolved, the narrative arranged things so that she could do it anyway."
"Considering how unstable she used to be, that's not entirely off the table," I whispered in response, but I wasn't exactly convinced either.
Her interpretation of the events sounded plausible, and this time I was almost tempted to believe her hypothesis, if for nothing else then because it meant that this nebulous Narrative of ours was not infallible. After all, if she's right, then everything happened today because I accidentally derailed the original plans, but instead of forcefully course-correcting us, it resulted in a patch-work mess where events were pushed around and a couple of plot-devices, such as Emese's wound or the taking of the spear ended up completely subverted. We still had a scary entity that may or may not be consciously orchestrating our lives, but at the same time, it wasn't omnipotent or omniscient enough to keep things stick to the rails. Judy got her Narrative pet theory seemingly validated, and I got my reassurance that hard work and some arguably less-than-reasonable stunts can still provide us a way out of possible predetermination. It felt like having my cake and eating it too. In a way, it was almost too good to be true.
Maybe that was why I had a hard time accepting it. As far as hypotheses were concerned, it was an okay one, but it all hinged on her hypothetical original scenario without my interference being on the mark, something we simply couldn't confirm. In fact, while exploring the supernatural limits of the world provided us with something to work on, and we could still perform certain simple experiments, the original roadblock we ran into a while back was still present: without actually being able to see what the 'original plot' was supposed to be like, it was impossible to tell what effect, if any, our actions had on it. Case in point, while we've spent all this time discussing how my actions may or may not have affected the Narrative, and how it may or may not have pushed back by influencing Ammy, the Knights, and possibly Rinne, there was no guarantee that today's events weren't how things were supposed to happen from the very get-go, and we were still solidly on the rails. Until we can find a way to somehow overcome this hurdle, I was afraid most of our theorycrafting would stay just that.
Anyhow, all of this was something that definitely required more mental elbow grease, and preferably when my head wasn't feeling like it had a red hot woodsman's axe embedded in it.
"I still think we're missing a few steps, and coming up with a few alternative explanations wouldn't hurt, but considering how fresh the events are, I don't think we can analyze them any further right now. Also, I'm feeling really damn battered right now, so should we stop now, or do we have something else to discuss?"
"We have a lot of things to discuss," Judy answered a bit peevishly, probably unhappy about how I still wasn't in complete agreement with her, "But considering how sick you are, I'll let you rest after one last thing."
"How gracious of you," I replied with a grin that made her look a tad worried, so I quickly wiped the expression off my face and said, "I'm listening."
"What happened after you 'came out' of the sword?"
"Oh, that?" I collected my thoughts for a second and told her, "Well, since Ichiko was in trouble, I decided to move her into the body of the Chimera. It wasn't exactly simple, but since it didn't have a soul but an already installed control enchantment, I managed to do it anyway aaaaaaaand that's not what you wanted to know, is it?"
Judy immediately shook her head with a miniscule frown.
"No, I meant while you were acting weird. The Fauns said you completely ignored them, and you didn't answer to me when I called out to you either."
To my surprise, and concern, she seemed almost rattled for a moment, so I quickly told her, "I honestly don't know. I can remember what happened, but everything is a little fuzzy. I felt… kind of detached for a moment. Like I was not completely back in my body after I finished tinkering with Onikiri."
"So it was caused by the sword?"
"Not necessarily. My five cents are on simply overworking myself, or some kind of interplay between spending so much time inside the supernatural stratum while already being sick from Phasing too much. We probably wouldn't know until I tried overexerting myself again under controlled circumstances."
"Obviously. Still, it was… How should I put it? Back then, I think I was hyper-aware, or knew things. Important things that I can't remember right now, but they felt really important. It was… kind of like when you are in a dream, and inside the dream everything makes sense, but when you wake up, you don't remember any of it."
My girlfriend sent me a wry look and immediately reached out to touch my forehead.
"Chief, I think you're starting to get delirious. How would you know what it feels to dream when you never sleep?"
"I'm talking in general, not from personal experience."
"Either way, you're getting that cold shower, and then we discuss this again."
I was just about to protest, but the words could never leave my mouth, as our alone-time was interrupted by a new voice entering the fray.
"Ue-sama! Judy-ue!"
We both looked towards the slowly opening door, and from the other side came a little girl wearing a light-green summer dress that reached down to her knees. She wasn't wearing anything else than that, not even socks, but hey, it was still better than running around naked. Though again, she was doing that as a fox anyway, but that's beside the point.
"How do I look?" Asking so, Ichiko did a small pirouette, both her long hair and the long skirt billowing around her before she came to a stop.
"Decently cute," I noted, only to receive a sharp look from my girlfriend. "What?"
"You're only allowed to call her cute when she's a fox," Judy declared with the kind of finality usually reserved for supreme judges.
"Well, whether I'm allowed or not, she is. Anyone would be cute in those clothes. In fact, I bet that you would look downright adorable in that kind of outfit."
For a moment Judy didn't seem to be able to decide how to react to that, but in the end she chose to take it as a compliment. Or at least I think so, because she didn't bother me about it any longer. In the meantime, the tiny miko started squirming, and after a short while, she turned to my assistant.
"Judy-ue? Where's the toilet?"
She gave her a skeptical look, but since she looked entirely serious, Judy stood up and took her by the hand.
"This way. I told you not to drink so much tea."
"But it was sweet…" the little girl whined, and before I knew it, I was once again alone in my room.
Well, at least they got along. That was a positive.
Thinking so, I rolled back to my PC, opened up the browser again, and once I saw that there was nothing noteworthy happening on the Hub, I opened a new tab and typed 'summer dress, light green' into the search bar while wondering how I could find out Judy's size without her being the wiser…
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