The Simulacrum

Chapter 30: ~Chapter 10~ Part 2


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"I tell you, this episode was the best since the third season finale!" Angie declared angrily while waving a still intact fried chicken drumstick in the air.

"Are you serious?" Joshua retorted just as animatedly. "How can you even compare the two? The action was nowhere near as great!"

"Hey, it had action too, but this finale was great because it focused on drama and romance!"

"Hah! You just say that because your favorite pairing got to be canon!" Josh snorted derisively while crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"Oh, now you did it! You revealed your true colors!" Angie shook her drumstick at Josh while stomping her feet under the table. "You are like this because Trucy ended up with Elliot instead of Ceraph!"

"Well, she should have!" my friend retorted with a sneer. "He had three season's worth of buildup and he was totally sidelined in the finale!"

"He has a point," the class rep quietly interjected while cutting her beef croquettes, not even looking up from her plate.

"Not you too, Ammy!" Angie staggered back theatrically, but a moment later she was pointing the drumstick of accusation at her friend. "And what do you mean ‘He has a point'?! Elliot was the main male lead since season one! He had way more buildup than Ceraph!"

"Well..." the class rep fidgeted for a moment, then she glanced at Josh, who in turn gave her a reassuring smile, so she stated, "True, but he didn't really do anything since season one."

"Right!" Josh continued the assault. "Not to mention, turning Ceraph evil again, after it was established that his love for Trucy fixed that, was just dumb."

"Oh, so you say that your precious Ceraph alone should have been able to resist the bloodlust of the Red Moon?!"

"No, but it should definitely not have turned him into the chief enforcer of The Dread Wolf Vladimir at the end."

"Well, okay, that should have been better explained, but it was totally in character."

"No, it wasn't!" Josh objected a bit too loudly.

"Please don't disturb the other students."

After getting scolded by Ammy, the two of them immediately toned it down a notch.

"Ooops, sorry. Anyways, it wasn't in character, he just had to be written out of the series because of his own spinoff."

"Wasn't that just a miniseries?"

"It gets a full season next year," the class rep supplied. "It's called ‘Ceraph: The White Wolf Chronicles', and it is about..."

And so on and so forth. I let out a tired sigh and I popped another french fry into my mouth. This lunch break was noisier than usual, probably because the entire gang ate together in the cafeteria, save for the princess who was on sick leave as per my instructions. Anyways, I was just about to cut a ribbon off my fried pork when my assistant poked me in the shoulder.

"Yes?"

She looked much better than yesterday, though I could still see traces of the black circles under her eyes. She had her pink phone in one hand and a half-eaten ham sandwich in the other, her lone pinky finger extended. She apparently used it to type while eating. Anyways, she leaned closer.

"What are they talking about?"

"Some TV series. ‘Trucy the Werewolf Huntress', I think. It seems like it's really popular."

"I see."

I was just about to turn back to my food when the table shook violently as Angie planted her hand on it so that she could lean way forward and hold the drumstick up to my face like a microphone.

"And what do you think about the ending?!"

"... The what now?"

"The last scene where Elliot shared part of his soul with Trucy so that she could reawaken her disabled huntress-powers and take down The Dread Wolf Vladimir, entwining their souls forever and ever! It was awesome, right? It was totally romantic, right?"

I awkwardly glanced at the other two participants of the conversation, but they both avoided my eyes, so I couldn't avoid telling her, "Sorry, I didn't watch last night's episode."

Angie audibly gasped and staggered back in her seat like she was struck by a mortal blow.

"How could you, Leo?! I thought you were my ally! My stalwart partner! How could you abandon me like this?!"

I rolled my eyes and proceeded to cut another slice of pork.

"Sorry, I had other things to do."

"What other things? Didn't we leave the party early so we could all catch the finale?"

Well, they most certainly did. In fact, I could vaguely remember them mentioning that the three of them would watch the episode together at Angie's place and that's why we went our separate ways, though I didn't pay it much attention at the time. Either way, all I knew about the show were the snippets I gathered when the others were talking about it.

"What do you have to say in your defense?!" Angie menaced me with the drumstick of divine retribution, and I could only sigh.

"As I said, I had stuff to do."

Still unsatisfied, Angie turned to my assistant.

"What about you?"

"I don't watch the series," Judy stated matter-of-factly without looking up from her notes.

"What is wrong with you people?!" Angie exclaimed and it looked like she would finally raise her drumstick to her mouth, but she didn't actually take a bite. As for the question, I really wanted to ask the same, but then she suddenly squinted at me through skeptically furrowed brows. "Suspicious!"

"Pardon?"

"I said, this is suspicious! You say you two didn't watch the last episode even though we have eyewitnesses claiming they saw you two leave early so you could watch it!"

"No, that was you guys. Also, ‘eyewitnesses'?"

"Yes, all three of us!" She indicated Josh and the class rep. For the record, they were obviously very busy eating so that they would not have to enter the conversation. "Not only that, but the only other person who would know what the two of you were doing after we parted is Elly... who is conveniently missing! Super suspicious!"

"Why exactly?"

"Thank you for asking!" Angie declared in some kind of fake accent while holding her drumstick like she was smoking a pipe... so I guess it was supposed to be British? Anyways, she began talking, but the mention of the princess reminded me of something and I gestured for Josh to lean closer to me.

"I just remembered something. I forgot to tell you this morning, but I have a job for you."

I could barely make out Josh's answer over Angie's spiel on the left. It was something about alibis and the ‘Howdunnit' or something. Judy seemed to be paying her attention and was taking notes, so I decided not to bother them.

"I said I have a job for you," I repeated myself while leaning even closer.

"I heard it. I asked what it is."

"I told you the princess wasn't coming to school till Monday, right?"

"Yeah, I noticed. She twisted her ankle again, right?"

"Yup. Listen, I need you to bring today's homework over to her."

Josh raised one of his trademark critical eyebrows and grunted softly.

"Okay, what's the catch?"

"What do you mean?" I guess I might have sounded slightly defensive, for Josh gave me a look saying ‘I knew something was up!' and leaned forward on his chair.

"Why don't you bring her the homework?"

I gave my friend a flat look.

"Listen, do you really need me to give you a reason to ask you to go to a friend's house?"

"Well..." Josh averted his eyes. "To be perfectly honest, I really don't like the place. And the butler really unnerves me."

"Oh, don't worry about that!" I jested with a smile. "Yesterday I pissed him off so badly you are going to look like a prim and proper gentleman in comparison. He is going to love you."

"... Is the unrequited love of an old butler supposed to be a selling point for this ‘job'? Because if it is, you are a terrible salesman."

I rolled my eyes, and while doing so I caught a few snippets of the discussion between Angie and Judy.

"... so there cannot be any hidden passages, nor can there be a chinaman."

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"What is a chinaman?"

"Oh, it's like the ‘mystical black guy'. You know? The wise old man who has all the answers, saunters into the crime scene and tells the solution. They don't really have to be Chinese, but the name stuck."

"Sounds like a copout."

"Yeah, and that's why they are not allowed!"

I had no idea why they were talking about the murder mystery genre, and to my reassurance, I found that I didn't have any urge to learn either. That said, I returned to my own conversation.

"Listen, Josh, just go there and give her the homework. It's really not that hard."

"But do I have to do it alone? Can I take Ammy along?"

I glanced at the class rep, who subtly perked up at the mention of her name, and covertly shook my head. To my surprise, she didn't seem to need much convincing, as she followed suit and shook her head as well.

"Sorry, I can't." Her voice sounded surprisingly conflicted, but I didn't think much about it. It was probably about her actually wanting to spend time with Josh but not finding doing so at the princess' mansion appealing or something. Anyways, I turned back to Joshua and grinned at him.

"Well, that's how it is."

Instead of quietly accepting his fate Josh seemed to be defiant to the end, crossing his arms in front of his puffed-out chest with an exaggerated sneer.

"Make me, punk!" he grunted, and I rolled my eyes, reached out, and grabbed him by the ear. "Ow-ow-ow! Hey! No violence! I was kidding, kidding!"

I made a disappointed sound and let him go. After some further intermezzo (during which the two girls at the side were apparently discussing the efficiency of different poisons... weird...) Joshua finally settled down.

"Fine man, fine. But you have to make it worth my while."

"Seriously? You want to extort me for this?"

"'Extortion' is such a nasty word..." he said as he smiled at me broadly. "I would rather call this... err... Okay, let's call it extortion after all."

"You couldn't come up with a less malicious word, could you?"

"Oh, shut up! Just go and buy me some truffles."

"Truffles," I repeated blankly. "You want me to buy you more overpriced food."

"Overpriced? I'll let you know that truffles are a true delicacy that is—!"

"Fine, stop!" I raised my hands in surrender and thankfully my friend, the moocher extraordinaire, didn't continue one of his culinary info dumps. I sighed. "What kind of meal here does actually have truffles?"

"It's funny you asked, I just happen to have a handy list on me!"

Completely disregarding my mincing glare, Josh handed me a small piece of paper with a bunch of food items and prices listed on it. For a moment, I almost had to have a double-take at some of the higher-end ones.

"Okay, you are getting the cheapest."

"Awwww! At least consider the dessert first!"

"No! You don't need truffles and edible gold foil with your vanilla ice cream!"

Josh was about to protest again when all of a sudden both Judy and Angie faced me and pointed a pair of accusatory fingers at me that even the princess would have envied. For a second I could only blink at them.

"What?"

"Ms. White, in the kitchen, with a candlestick!" Angie declared with a haughty grin. "What do you say to that?"

I blinked again and cocked my head to the side. "That you should stop playing imaginary Cluedo and finish your lunch before the break is over?" I answered tentatively. Angie immediately clicked her tongue.

"Damn, he is onto us."

"I told you he is sharp," Judy told her with some empathetic, though slightly mechanical, pats on the shoulder.

"I am glad you guys have a high opinion of me, but didn't you go totally off-topic?"

They both perked up with a silent ‘Ah!' and Angie in particular immediately aimed her still-intact drumstick at my face.

"Right! You still haven't told us the salacious details about what you two were doing instead of watching the season finale of Trucy!"

"'Salacious' details? Seriously?" Angie kept looking at me with what I presumed was supposed to be an accusatory scowl, but on her face, it looked more like the look a hurt puppy would give to the person who accidentally stepped on its tail. I couldn't bear it for long, so I gave up with a small sigh. "Listen, because I am only saying this once: after we left the bakery yesterday, we took the princess home, then I took my assistant home, and finally I went home and spent the night on the internet doing research for a paper I was working on. There is no secret."

"Paper?"

"Extracurricular project."

Still suspicious, Angie raised the drumstick to her mouth again and did an exaggerated smoking motion.

"Do you have any eye-witnesses who would corroborate your alibi?"

"... No?" I answered, too puzzled to put up an intellectual front. "I live alone."

"You do?" This time the question came from a surprised Joshua. I looked at him and shrugged.

"Yeah, my parents are... overseas?" If I sounded unsure, that was only because I was. I spent some time combing through the house, and the only clues I could find about my presumed family were the names on my legal papers, the account number of my beneficiary, and a single, unmarked key that apparently belonged to a safety deposit box, but since it had no emblem and numbers on it I couldn't even tell which bank held it. In other words, I still wasn't sure my parents even existed in this world, let alone them providing witness testimony about where I was instead of watching a TV show.

"Really?!" Josh exclaimed again. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"... Um... Why?"

"We could've held Judy's birthday party there! We could have gone all out!"

"Yeah, no. I'm not a fan of house parties."

"Aw..."

"More importantly!" Angie demanded our attention by tapping on the table. "The jury finds you guilty of gross negligence of season-finale-watching-duties!"

"What jury?" I asked flatly.

"Me," the girl beamed at me, but then she caught herself and returned to her hurt-puppy-frown. "I hereby sentence you to hanging out with all of us at your place on Sunday and marathoning the entirety of Trucy the Werewolf Huntress!"

I gave her a wry look and shook my head.

"I already had plans for Sunday."

"Plans? What plans?"

"You mean our trip to the shore?" Judy asked at my side with the worst timing possible.

"Oooooh?" Angie smiled at me impishly. "So that's how it is!"

"No, that's not how it is. It's for research." The smile didn't wash off Angie's face, so I decided to change the course of the discussion. "In any case, I am not entirely against the idea of hanging out over the weekend. Why can't we do it tomorrow instead?"

"Tomorrow?" Angie wondered aloud. "Well, I suppose, though we could only start after my weekend practice is over."

I wanted to ask what kind of practice she was talking about, but then I remembered that she was in the tennis club and I bit back the oblivious question.

"It's fine with me, I don't have a club," Josh smiled contently.

"Because you are a lazy bum," Angie poked his cheeks with her drumstick. Josh tried to take a bite out of it but she retracted it before he could do so.

"I'm not lazy, I'm just economical," he grinned before he looked over to the class rep. "What about you, Ammy. Are you free tomorrow afternoon?"

"Hm?" The class rep looked distracted for a moment. She blinked at Josh and it felt like she was rewinding the last few minutes in her head to figure out what he was talking about. At last her eyes sparkled with recognition and she nodded. "Yes, I can make the time."

"Great!" Josh's contagious smile spread over the table, infecting everyone but my assistant, who was busy poking her phone. "I will ask Elly about it too! We should totally have a second birthday party if we are at that!"

"Nope," I responded as I gave him a totally dishonest toothy smile. It was about this time I began to wonder if maybe this was a bad idea...

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