The Simulacrum

Chapter 320: Volume 4 – Epilogue


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"… kidding me! This is such bullshit," I grumbled louder than usual, yet my words were still drowned out by the cheering crowd in the background.

"Hush, Chief. You're disturbing the people behind us."

"I don't think they care, but even if they do, I don't," I said with a huff. "Seriously, having one underground amphitheatre is already a stretch, but where the hell did dad-in-law find a second one? This is such contrived bullcrap…"

"Hush," my dear assistant echoed with barely hidden exasperation. "It's starting. Why don't you cheer for Joshua first, and then you can complain about the venue later?"

"What's the point? It's a foregone conclusion at this point."

My dear assistant sent me one last disapproving look before she returned her attention to the arena. Needless to say, we were sitting in the VIP area of a stone amphitheatre that was the spitting image of the one that got trashed just a couple of days ago. I could've probably complained for hours about that aspect alone, but Judy was right. Kind of. I mean, as dumb as this second arena was, I could write its existence up to the Simulacrum just really, really wanting to have its tournament arc, common sense be damned, and while that was mildly aggravating, I had bigger fishes to fry.

For example, while I wasn't looking, the Celestials apparently figured out that Josh was their messiah by any other name. It was kind of expected, considering that he started dating Angie, which predisposed our more-or-less confirmed Narrative to push the Celestial plot or arc or what have you along, but it still kind of came out of nowhere, and I still couldn't figure out what the deal was with the 'purging', as Jaakobah remained under house arrest, and I couldn't get any more details out of observing him.

If there was one small silver lining to this whole ordeal, it was how this upheaval in the CIN's hierarchy made them retreat into their shell until they finished reorganizing their ranks. Knowing how efficiently such organizations tended to operate, I imagined that could potentially buy us several weeks, if not months before they could start moving in earnest. Good riddance, I say.

At this very moment, my train of thought was drowned out by a deafening wave of cheers as the finalists entered the field. On the left, Zihao, bruised but no worse for wear, walked to the middle of the arena. Meanwhile, Josh entered from the right, clad in his Magiformer and glaring so hard at his opponent I could see it even from up here.

"Go, Josh! Go! Kick his ass!"

A couple of rows below us, Angie screamed her heart out to be heard over the crowd, despite the class rep's best efforts to rein her back. After what happened last time, a lot of the contestants dropped out one way or another. As far as I gathered, Sahi and Pascal were withdrawn by Lord Grandpa, while Xiao couldn't compete due to, well, everyone thinking that fighting a full-blown dragon was kind of unfair. I didn't see the problem, but hey, I wasn't competing, so I had no horse in that race.

Because of this, the brackets had to be reorganized, and it led to a much more streamlined competition, and even Ammy managed to reach the semi-finals. Elly getting there was also guaranteed, but unfortunately, she ended up in a bad matchup.

"Has it started yet?"

Speaking of the devil, when I glanced over to the source of the question, I found the princess making her way over to us, so I moved a little to give her some space on the bench. She was not only still in the same tank top and short combo she used during her match, but she also remained transformed, revealing her toned (and currently still scaled) tummy. After staring for a while, I successfully managed to suppress my lizard brain and stuff it into a closet.

"They are still talking," Judy told her, squinting.

"Probably doing the customary taunting routine," I commented with a shrug while Elly sat down between the two of us. "By the way, princess? Are you all right?"

"Hm? Ah, yes," she responded a touch sheepishly, followed by a shallow sigh. "Losing by ring out is just so anticlimactic…"

"You couldn't help it. It's hard to go up against plot armor."

For emphasis, I lightly tussled her hair, careful not to get poked by her horns. Judy also shared my sentiment, though she opted for a safer way to show it, and only patted Elly on the back.

Unfortunately for her, she ended up getting paired with Josh in the semi-finals. Under any other circumstances, I would've put all my money on her, but regrettably, this was a tournament arc, and even though Elly obviously had the upper hand in nearly every aspect, Josh still managed to clinch a ring out through some maverick tactics, a heroic second wind, and just sheer blind luck. In other words, usual annoying protagonist-y cliché stuff, nothing more, nothing less.

"If it makes you feel any better, he shouldn't have nearly this much plot armor during the internal tournament, so you can beat him up there to your heart's content. You have my blessings."

"Oh, please, Leo," the princess dismissed me with a smiled and linked arms with me. "You know I'm not the type who holds grudges."

The vicious glint in her eyes told me otherwise, but I wasn't going to point that out, especially since the match on the field finally began in earnest with Zihao taking up a horse riding stance and letting out a roar. Also, it might've been just me, but I could swear his hair was glowing.

"About time," Judy whispered on the side and waved a paper bag in our direction. "Popcorn?"

"Oh, thanks! I was feeling a little pecking after that workout!"

Saying so, the princess reached into the bag and grabbed a handful. Following her example, I also accepted the offer, though I only took a couple of pieces, and threw one into my mouth just as the two contestants lunged at each other.

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More importantly though, I couldn't help but wonder where to go from here. While I was sure there would be some roadblocks on the way, enthusiasm about the Draconic Federation was at record height at the moment, and with it, the hostilities between the Draconians and the Knights were effectively permanently over. After my last stunt in the Abyss, the news about Bel spread to the other Abyssal houses. Whether that was by accident or leaked on purpose by Crowey's vassals, I couldn't say for sure, but in any case, it caused everyone over there to focus inward, on their own security and stability, so I had a feeling they wouldn't be involved with the 'capital P plot' for a while longer.

The Celestials, similarly, were bogged down in their own domestic affairs, which meant the only rogue element remaining was the Assembly, and while they could potentially object to the formation of the Draconic Alliance, considering my popularity with the Artificer crowd, I had a feeling I could probably manage to quell their anxieties with a few well-placed gifts. Also, the fact that I had two (or rather, one-and-a-half) arch-mages under my thumb would probably help as well.

In short, while there were quite a lot of potential conflicts and complications on the horizon, we were looking forward to at least a few weeks of peace.  It might've been a proverbial calm before the storm, but I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a welcome one.

"Wow! Did you see that?" Elly called out to me, jolting me out of my thoughts.

"Hm? What?" Blinking, I focused my attention on the field and found Josh and Zihao groggily rising to their feet while a plume of sand and dust settled around them. On closer look, there were a pair of deep grooves carved into the arena floor, no doubt the result of their latest epic clash of epic proportions. Also, for the record, at some point, Josh ditched his Magiformer, either on purpose or as a result of their clash, and he was currently in his draconic form, complete with tattered clothes, horns, and even a pair of stubby wings.

The two combatants remained still for a while, breathing heavily as they glared at each other, but then Zihao's voice shook the arena once again as he let out a deep bellow, followed by a red globe of light forming in front of his face. As if waiting for this to happen, Josh also yelled out, with the exact same glowy-red-ball-forming effect.

"Hold on! Since when can Josh use dragon fire!?" Elly blurted out in surprise, but I couldn't be bothered to answer. I mean, a shounen protagonist pulling a technique out of their butt the very last second of a fight? Who ever heard of that?

Anyhow, once they finished charging up, they fired their dragon breaths at each other in a very epic and dynamic and not at all silly display of force, with the two beams meeting in the middle and creating a small vortex of sorts.

"Wow!" Elly sounded impressed, but it only lasted for a moment before  her brows descended and she asked, "Wait, isn't this one of those trope things we talked about the other day?"

"Yep. It's called a beam struggle," I answered her with a satisfied grin.

"Indeed. Also, for the record: one of us, one of us, one of us…" Judy chanted, and I joined it with all my heart.

"One of us! One of us!"

"A-Awawa! Stop it, you two! You're drawing attention!"

Oh, wow. We even managed to draw one of those nostalgic squeaks out of the princess. That alone pretty much salvaged this whole silly day with its silly tournament.

But speaking of which, the beam struggle between the two soon reached its crescendo, which by pure coincidence happened right at the point where Angie yelled something along the lines of 'Come on Josh! I believe you can do it! I love you!', at which point Josh's red beam shifted into dark orange and it quickly overpowered the other beam. It was very dramatic. No lie; scout's honor.

"Josh won? I didn't think he had it in him…" Elly mused, still beet red and obviously trying to move the conversation along. Luckily for her, I was planning to do the same.

"Say, Dormouse?"

"Yes, Chief?"

"Do you happen to have the note I gave you?" She was giving me a flat look, so I clarified, "The one I wrote at the base, after I told everyone about the tournament. I told you to bring it."

"Yes, I know," she responded a tad morosely and reached into her breast pocket. I gestured for her to unfold and read it, and when even Elly looked interested, she finally gave in, though not without a dissatisfied click of her tongue. "It says…" she began, only to trail off and sent me another, this time half-impressed glance.

"Josh is the protagonist, Zihao is his rival in this arc, so they will obviously reach the finals, where they'll have a long fight with all kinds of flashy moves," the princess read in her stead, though she skipped over a few things, and she finished with, "… and then at the end they all do one big all-in special move, and then Josh will barely manage to come out on top, but then he will—"

Just as she got to this point, we could hear a soft thud coming from the arena, where Josh face-planted into the sand. Elly blinked, then finished, without looking at the paper.

"He will dramatically collapse while the crowd cheers. Huh. So tournaments are predictable after all…"

And just like that, the curtain fell on our first, and if I could help it, last tournament arc. It had its ups, it had its downs, but most importantly, it was over, so now I could focus on more important things. Like whether or not I should try to keep things modest, lean into the stereotypes, or straight-up encourage the stupid but amusing ecchi tropes of our upcoming hot springs arc.

However, that's a story for another time.

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