The Simulacrum

Chapter 53: ~Chapter 17~ Part 2


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It was half past six in the morning when I hit the ‘Confirm' button on the designer app and the new site went online. I knew practically nothing about programming, but as it turned out, the original site was made with one of those handy template designer programs, and after reading the documentation and some tutorials on the net, I was able to fix the most glaring problems with just a little trial and error.

The reappearance of ‘Admin' also ran through the community like wildfire, and I was bombarded with questions in the chat about my whereabouts. My cover story was that I was involved in the ‘Cardhouse incident', where several Celestial operatives were busted by the Magi while they tried to infiltrate a School. Since operatives were only briefed on a need-to-know basis, I actually had more info than most of them, and thus I was able to uphold my fake identity pretty well. Or at least I hoped so.

As I thought about these things, the site finally finished updating and I was welcomed by the brand new main page. It was nothing special, but it was miles better than the original mess. It hasn't been up for more than a few seconds when the chat button began flashing again.

"KittYkaTT101: wow great job admin"

"19891224: Where did all the ads go?! How will I get my male enhancement pills now?!"

"MoroseMoose: You talk like you actually need those."

"19891224: Hey, you can never know when an extra few inches could be useful. "

"W1NG3D N1NJ4: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!?!!!? YOU ARE A GIRL!!!1! δ(´д`; )"

"KittYkaTT101: you are confusing him with his sister 19891223"

"19891224: Common mistake. "

"Admin: Settle down, kids."

"MoroseMoose: Look, the man of the day is back!"

"Rock998: Hey man! Great to have you back!"

"19891224: Gimme back my ads! :3"

I chuckled to myself. I never thought top-secret supernatural operatives would be this lively, but I honestly started to like these guys.

"Admin: Behave yourself and you might get to keep one in your sidebar, but only if you promise to take care of it."

"19891224: Sure daddy, I promise I will take it to walks and everything."

"MoroseMoose: Are you sure this won't cause a problem with the servers?"

"Admin: No, they are already paid for."

In fact, the servers didn't even cost that much. They were on a shady Eastern-European server-farm though, and since I didn't trust those guys as far as I could throw them, I had to jump through a couple of annoying hoops to pay them, which included setting up fake accounts, buying fake credit cards so that it would be harder to track me, losing a thousand Jens in a scam (it happens) and then finally paying them. Still, if they held their end of the bargain, we were in the green for a couple of months.

"W1NG3D N1NJ4: ADMIN IS SUPER-AWESOME!!!one!! (♥ω♥ ) ~♪"

"Admin: I am."

"Admin: Moose, are you up for what we discussed?"

"MoroseMoose: You mean the database? Sure, I can reorganize it, but it would be hard with just the filenames."

"Admin: Just do what you can. I plan on getting some help with that from a friend of mine."

"19891224: A new friend? Do we know him?"

"Admin: It's a she, and no you don't. I vouch for her, so be nice to her."

"W1NG3D N1NJ4: ARE YOU BRINGING YOUR GIRLFRIEND INTO THE BUSINESS?!?!?!!!?!"

"W1NG3D N1NJ4: ARE YOU EVEN ALLOWED TO DO THAT?!?!?!1!?!"

"W1NG3D N1NJ4: AND HOW COME THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I HEAR ABOUT YOU HAVING A GIRLFRIEND?!?!!!?!?????"

"W1NG3D N1NJ4: YOU ARE TEARING ME APART, ADMIN!!!!!!! (ᗒᗩᗕ)՞"

"Admin: To answer your questions in order:"

"Admin: No, no, see answer number one, and please settle down."

"W1NG3D N1NJ4: SOWWY ⁄(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄"

I was about to continue when I glanced at the clock again and silently gasped. It was past seven already, and I didn't even pack my bag! In fact, I was usually eating breakfast by this time and getting ready to pick up Judy. I cursed under my breath and returned to the browser one last time.

"Admin: I have to go now."

"Admin: I have a meeting to attend."

"Admin: Spread the word about the security reset."

I didn't wait for them to answer. I closed my browser and rushed out of my room post-haste. My first destination was the kitchen, where I grabbed some snacks I could eat with one hand while I returned to pack my bag. I only washed myself in the sink before I threw my clothes on and dashed down the stairs for a second time. I locked the entrance behind me and headed for the usual intersection with a light jog. I wasn't late yet, but I still didn't want to leave Judy waiting if I could help it. I made it there in under a minute and my timing couldn't have been more perfect, as she was just arriving there herself.

"Good morning Chief," she greeted me, her usual deadpan voice already colored by some curious undertones. It was probably my disheveled appearance that threw her off.

"Morning," I replied while trying to straighten my shirt.

"Did you sleep in?"

"Not really, I just lost track of time."

She nodded and stepped closer. She began wordlessly fussing over my clothes before she stood on her tiptoes and reached for my head.

"Lean forwards a little please."

"Err... Sure," I complied in a mildly embarrassed daze while she arranged my hair into something I hoped was a bit more presentable. She also muttered something about me being too tall, but that was neither here nor there.

At last, she stepped back and looked over me from head to toe before she let out a satisfied grunt.

"It will have to do."

"Thanks."

"You are welcome," she answered with a barely visible bend in her lips and she began walking. I automatically followed after her. "What's the plan for today?"

I thought for a few seconds as we proceeded down another street.

"I think I will go and talk with Snowy. You got a lot out of her, but I have some specific things I'm curious about."

"I see. What should I do in the meantime?"

"Actually, there is a site I would like you to get familiar with."

I quickly explained to her the Celestial Hub and how I stumbled upon it, including the password, the reports, the other users, and I even outlined the mountain of information I have gathered in such a short time.

"I see. That was quite a find."

I almost nodded, but then I stopped midway. While she might've sounded perfectly dry and deadpan, I could detect some disappointment and even irritation in her voice, and this time I was fairly certain it wasn't just my imagination. The concern might've shown on my face, as she turned away with a tiny little pout on her lips.

If anyone else did that, I might've felt irritated by such behavior, but since Judy was normally so reserved with her emotions, noticing new ones felt like a brand new discovery that always managed to cheer me up.

"Oh, please," I chuckled while gently poking her in the side with my elbow. "Don't be like that. I still appreciate the work you've done."

"Even though it became redundant?"

Yep, that question sealed it. She was sulking. I half sighed and half chuckled as I let out a deep breath and smiled at her.

"Oh come on, Dormouse. It's not like I was about to replace you with a silly website."

She blinked at me, her cheeks flushed with just a hint of red, and then she pointedly averted her eyes again.

"I know. I'm not stupid."

"Of course you're not. You are the smartest person I know."

She proceeded to turn her face even further away from me with a short harrumph.

"Now you are just trying to butter me up to change the subject."

"Guilty as charged," I answered her with another chuckle as I hooked a finger under her chin and made her look forwards. "You should still pay attention to where you are going though. You are about to hit a street lamp."

She didn't give me any over-the-top reaction like the princess would have, instead she let out a soft grunt and circled around said street lamp before she got back beside me. It was probably just my imagination, but she may have even walked a little closer than before. Not that I really minded.

"So, what should I do with that site?"

Even though it wasn't a real change in topics, the question still caught me off-guard and I had to think for a bit.

"Make a throwaway email address and use it to register. I will approve you and give you moderation rights."

"You can do that?"

"I told you, I got administration access."

If I was reiterating that, I took the opportunity to tell her all the other things I have done with the site during the night as well. She listened attentively as I explained my changes to the user interface and the database's structure and how I asked some of the regulars to take care of the everyday operation of the site, periodically nodding to herself whenever I went into important details.

"A moment, Chief," she stopped me just as I was about to get into the gritty details of the cross-referencing between reports. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you just take over a spy ring, spent your own money on hosting it, and planning to run it without telling the people reporting there they are no longer under whatever Celestial bureau they used to be working for?"

"In a nutshell, yes."

"Doesn't that strike you as incredibly risky?"

"I would say it's more of an unbelievably, jaw-droppingly risky thing, but I still think it's worth it. Speaking of which, I will show you how to bounce your IP and hide your online signature when we have the time."

"Why?"

"To mitigate some of the risks? I do the same. It makes us harder to find online. I don't think they have people competent enough to track us anyways, but it's better to be on the safe side."

She nodded, more to herself than in approval of my reasoning, and after a while she said, "How about this afternoon then?"

Her sudden request made me pause.

"Sure, why not."

"Good," she uttered a little absent-mindedly as she whipped out her phone and began typing a message.

"What's that about?" I inquired while I was trying to get a look at her screen.

"I'm telling mother that we would have you over for dinner." She looked up from her phone and gave me a tiny little smirk. "You would come over to set up my computer, right?" I nodded. "Then you should stay until dinner. Mother has been asking me to introduce you to my father."

"I don't like the sound of that."

"Why?"

"Because it sounds like a setup in a sitcom designed to lead to embarrassing misunderstandings that would inevitably lead to your father chasing me out the door with a shotgun in hand."

"Why would you have a shotgun in hand?" she asked innocently. I gave my dear assistant a wry look and she once again averted her eyes. "What I meant to say was that you are just paranoid. Everything will be fine."

"If you say so..."

I still wasn't convinced, but I didn't want to start a fight over something silly like that, so I wisely shut up and looked ahead... and by complete accident, my gaze met a pair of sapphire eyes peeking around the corner. Their owner immediately disappeared behind the building, but the high-pitched ‘Awawaaaa!' coming from the direction made her identity so obvious she might as well didn't bother.

I glanced at my assistant and we shared a tired sigh as we walked up to the girl hiding behind the corner. When we rounded it, she was standing in front of us with a transparently fake surprised expression.

"O-Oh! Hi Leo. Judy." The princess nodded at each of us in turn with a strained smile. "Fancy meeting you here. Quite the coincidence, isn't it?"

"Why are you here?" Judy spoke before I could, and she was about as blunt as a sledgehammer.

"W-What do you mean?"

"What she means," I interjected as I stepped between the two of them, "Is that your mansion is in the opposite direction. We literally couldn't meet up by accident."

"Y-Yeah... I suppose you are right..." She hung her head and took a step back. "I... I guess I'll just move along then."

She tried to bolt away, but I quickly reached out and grabbed hold of her shoulder.

"Whoa, easy there, princess. Was there an actual reason why you came here to meet with us?"

She glared at me from behind her bangs but at last she stopped trying to get away and instead turned on her heel again and faced me.

"Why do you think there has to be a reason?! Why can't I spend time with you..." She stuttered for a second and glanced at my assistant and added, "... two," before she regained her composure and finished with, "just because I felt like it?"

"Wait," I held up an open palm to calm her down a little. "So you just wanted to go to school together? That's all?"

"Yeah?" She crossed her arms with a pout. "Do you have a problem with that?"

"No. Quite the opposite actually."

The pout immediately fell away from her face and was replaced with a suspicious squint.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Why didn't you just say that in the first place?"

"But... I thought..."

She looked at my assistant questioningly. They might have engaged in some sort of female-only telepathy, as they wordlessly went through a series of nods, grimaces, and eyebrow-wiggling (mostly on Elly's side), culminating in a shrug on the part of Judy.

"We should get going or we will be late," she spoke in her usual tone as she walked past us. I followed after her by reflex and the princess quickly fell in line with us on my other side.

We walked without uttering a single word for a while, and since I wasn't a big fan of awkward silences, I quickly cleared my throat and turned to the blonde girl.

"So, how did yesterday's date go?"

"Wha...?!" The princess stumbled and glared at me once she regained her balance. "What are you talking about?"

"Yesterday? Didn't you spend the afternoon with Joshua?"

"Arg! You are teasing me again! I told you to stop that!" She protested so loudly I had to gesture for her to tone it down a little.

"But it's fun."

"For you, maybe."

"Come on, don't sulk," I waved my hand in front of her to get her to look at me and I flashed a toothy smile to lower her guard. It must have worked, as she promptly cleared her throat.

"A-As I was saying... It wasn't really a date. We just spent time together. Friends do that all the time." Suddenly she squinted her eyes as if she just remembered something and then she lightly poked me with her finger. "Speaking of which: spend some time with Josh!"

"... Where did that come from?"

She threw her hands into the air with an exasperated huff.

"I had to spend the entire afternoon listening to Josh complaining about how you don't hang out with him anymore and that all you care about are girls and that he has no one to talk about ‘guy stuff', whatever that is, and that—"

"So you say it wasn't fun?" I interjected by using the moment she took a breath and she looked really unsure for a second or five.

"It was, but..." She dropped her shoulders and groaned. "But it was like ‘We used to come to this place with Leo all the time, but not anymore,' and ‘I couldn't talk about things with Leo for ages!' or ‘I wonder what Leo is doing right now, he is always spending time with you girls' and—"

"All right, all right! I got the gist of it, no need to continue... though I do admit, your imitation of Josh is pretty accurate."

"Thanks, I think."

"So, which was the fun part?" Judy interrupted, though she only asked what I was about to anyway, so there were no hard feelings.

The princess pointed a wry look at her, but then she raised a finger to her mouth, probably to accentuate her thinking.

"That place where you have to sing was nice."

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"The karaoke?

"Yes, that one! I got a bunch of perfect scores."

"Really? That's... pretty amazing."

The princess giggled with a broad grin that would've been more at home on Angie's face. Not that it didn't suit her. In fact, she looked positively radiant for a moment.

"I have been taking singing lessons since I was little, you know?"

"Really?" I whistled in surprise, even though it should not have been one. She was a princess after all; high culture must have come with the package. "Now I really want to hear you sing."

The princess's grin faltered and she sheepishly looked away. For a moment I thought I may have said something weird, but then she let out a sharp breath through her nose and faced me, red as a lobster and one finger absentmindedly curling and uncurling her left ringlet.

"Maybe... Maybe next time? I mean..." she paused, during which time I could barely hold myself back from rolling my eyes. I had a very good guess about where this was going. At last, she let out another sharp breath and made it a point to look me in the eye. "S-So, since I spent time with Joshua, I think we need to balance the scales."

"What scales?"

"S-Shut up! Don't interrupt me now!"

"Fine, fine. Geez..."

"So... Um... Would you like to go to the karaoke with me?"

"Well..." She kept staring at me expectantly, so I stopped stalling and told her, "It's fine by me."

"Really?" She began grinning again, but then she quickly stopped herself for some reason and began fidgeting. "S-Say, are you free today?"

I really wished she would've decided whether she was forthcoming or shy and stuck to it, but then again, being a little weird like that was one of her charms. I was about to answer when Judy, whom I shamefully forgot was even there, interjected again.

"He is not. I already reserved him."

The princess nearly stumbled and her shy smile was immediately replaced with a scowl directed at my assistant.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means," Judy answered while tucking away her phone, "that I already asked him to come over to my place."

"She did?" The princess looked at me with a betrayed shock.

"Yes. He is going to stay over for dinner."

The princess's eyes opened even further.

"Is that true?"

"Yes, but—"

"He is coming over to introduce himself to my parents," my assistant cut me off again without giving me a moment of break.

"I-Introducing to... but I thought..."

"And then we are going to discuss our plans for the future."

"Your plans? What plans?"

Instead of answering her, I sent a disapproving frown my assistant's way and asked, "You are doing this on purpose, aren't you?"

She didn't react to my question, but instead she continued where she left off.

"And then, once we get my parents' approval, we will head up to my room, and then..." She continued even though the princess obviously wasn't listening anymore, since she was too busy trying to punch me, which I deftly avoided by a hair's breadth.

"Leo, you idiot! You told me you two are not in that kind of relationship!" she burst out as she began stomping her feet.

"Because we aren't. Judy's just—"

"I hate you!" she interrupted me and twirled around, ready to dash away. Before I knew it, my hand reached out after her on its own and I managed to hook my fingers into the back of her collar, so when she leaped forwards she got pulled back by her neck and she lurched backward. I quickly reached out with my other hand and caught her before she could completely fall over. Once I was certain of her safety, I let out a small groan and directed another scowl at my assistant.

"Judy! Why did you do that?"

She shrugged.

"Because it's fun to tease her."

"Agreed, but this is going a little too far."

"Umm... Leo?"

The question came from under my chin, and as I looked down I found the princess straining her neck to look up and stare me in the face.

"Yes?"

"Y-You don't need to hold me so hard..." she told me in an uncharacteristically meek mumble. "I-It's embarrassing."

It was only at this point that I realized I had my arm around her and was squashing her against my chest. She was a lot firmer than girls were rumored to be, but on the other hand, she was surprisingly warm and pleasant to the touch. I quickly chastised my monkey-brain for suddenly flooding my imagination with R-rated images and took a quick breath to get my voice steady.

"I'll let you go if you promise you won't try to run away." She nodded, so I unhanded her, and she staggered a little as she stepped back. I saw that Judy was about to say something, so I quickly raised a finger to stop her and focused on the princess again. "Just to set the record straight: I'm going over to set up Judy's PC, and I was invited to a dinner by her parents. That's all."

"Oh?" she lowered her head, probably because of embarrassment over her previous reaction, but then a second later she was up and staring at me again with a new dose of luminescent blush on her cheeks. "So today is no good?"

"Yes, I just said that."

She nodded once, twice, and then a third time before she spoke again.

"In that case... how about the weekend...?"

"I already have him reserved," Judy butted in again, much to my eternal exasperation.

"And what is that supposed to mean?!" Elly exclaimed in a high-pitched voice. Again.

"Here we go again," I muttered under my breath, but the two girls on my sides didn't seem to notice or care.

"We agreed with the Chief to go on a date."

"You did what?! When did this happen?"

"After your fight with Neige. He was tired of your antics, so we decided to go on a date to help him relax."

"I don't remember us specifying the reason. Or the date, if we are at that," I whispered, but I was once again summarily ignored. It seemed like my entire role in this conversation was demoted to being a barrier between the two of them.

"Then you just exploited a moment of weakness! That's incredibly underhanded!"

"That is just your opinion. He is quite happy with the state of affairs."

"... Does it even matter how I would answer to that?" I asked no one in particular, and true to form, no one in particular cared.

"Stop hogging him!" Elly exclaimed, prompting me to mutter a tired ‘I didn't think so...'

"Why?"

"Because it's unfair!" Suddenly the princess stepped closer, grabbed hold of my arm, and entwined it with hers. I looked at her with an expression saying ‘Really? Are we really doing this?'

"Unfair to whom?" Judy countered as she stepped closer and grabbed hold of my other arm.

"Et tu, Dormouse?" I whispered in a state of utter trepidation.

The exchange between the two continued for a good minute. I imagine the situation probably looked hilarious from the outside, but when caught in the crossfire, it wasn't half as amusing. Then, all of a sudden, the princess let go of me and began rummaging through her pockets.

"Fine, let's do that then!"

I had to blink and rewind the last few seconds of the conversation in my head. Judy said something about chance being fair and a coin flip and... No way...

I glanced at the blonde girl by my side, and she was already brandishing a one Jen coin in her hand. So yes way. This situation wasn't silly enough, I supposed.

"Heads or tails?"

My assistant thought for a moment before she let me go as well and said, "Tails."

"Fine!" The princess placed the coin on her thumb and grinned fiercely as she flipped it through the air. It flew high and completely straight up. I let out an annoyed grunt as it reached its peak, and then I promptly snatched it out of the air on its way down.

"Hey!" the princess protested and reached for my clenched fist, but I quickly put it inside my pocket and faced her with a frown.

"Would you please stop ignoring me and behave yourselves?"

"But the coin..."

"Listen, girls. You either stop bickering, or I won't go anywhere with anyone."

The two of them looked at each other, more confused than ashamed by my scolding. For a while I didn't know what else I could say, but just as the silence was about to get uncomfortable, a sudden idea came to me like a lightning bolt out of the blue.

I quickly cleared my throat and proclaimed, "It's a Schrödinger's coin now."

"A what?" Judy blurted out in surprise, and I immediately doubled down.

"It's a coin that is in a superposition of both heads and tails," I explained with a knowing smirk. "That means you both won and lost at the same time."

"Uuuu... I'm not following." Saying so, the princess turned to her left and asked, "Judy, what is he talking about?"

Before my dear assistant could open her mouth, I hurriedly added, "What I'm trying to say is that we cannot be certain who won until we collapse the wave function."

"A coin has no wave function to collapse," Judy pointed out with an extra-deadpan voice. "A coin is not a fundamental particle."

"It's a minor technical detail, barely even worth mentioning," I dismissed her with a leisurely wave of my hand, but then I used that same hand to point at her and say, "However, since we cannot determine the result, I propose a compromise."

"In what way?" Judy continued to eye me with the kind of suspicion usually reserved to used car salesmen, but I was too deep in the skit to pull out, so I took a deep breath and flashed my most convincing smile at her.

"Let us presume that you both won."

"But that would mean... we both go on a date with you?" I answered Elly's question with a nod. "At the same time?" I nodded again.

"It's the best possible outcome," I told her. "It's like the solution to the prisoner's dilemma."

"Prisoner's what?"

"Exactly," Judy agreed with the princess, and by this point I had a feeling she was onto me. "This is nothing like the prisoner's dilemma."

"It is," I stressed. "You guys have two choices: you either assume it was heads or tails. If you both assume it was one or the other, one of you loses. If you both presume the other won, you both lose. Therefore the best available choice is to presume that you both won. Quite elementary."

"So... you want both of us to win at the same time?" Elly whispered as she tried to wrap her head around my words, but I didn't answer her right away. Silence descended upon us once again, and the way Judy was squinting at me didn't make it any less awkward. I was just about to spill the beans, but she beat me to the punch with a sudden suggestion.

"I have a better idea." Saying so, she reached into her pocket and took out another, identical coin. "We'll just flip again."

"No!" the princess suddenly cried out, startling both of us just long enough for her to pry the coin out of her fingers. She cradled it close to her chest and declared, "No take-backs! It was decided already!"

"It would be more accurate to say that the Chief made it up," my assistant stated a tad dryly. "With a coin flip that didn't actually happen."

"Oh please, Dormouse! Just a few seconds ago you were completely okay with flipping the coin to decide. Don't argue with quantum physics just because the results aren't intuitive."

"That's right," Elly agreed with me on the spot, much to Judy's chagrin. That said, her resistance only lasted for a second before she suddenly switched gears and let out a really long sigh.

"So it's going to be a double-date then," she relented and stepped up to Elly, followed by the question of, "Where should we go?"

"The karaoke is a must!" the princess exclaimed with a mixture of excitement and determination, and I couldn't help but sigh in relief, though I would be lying if I said there wasn't a hint of exhaustion in there as well.

The rest of our commute to the school was spent with the girls discussing their plans about the ‘date'. I'm not going to lie; the way the two of them suddenly got along, at least as far as this discussion was concerned, was wholly unexpected, but a pleasant surprise all the same. Now I only had to keep encouraging this kind of cooperation instead of competition, and we might actually end up with something workable in the long run.

Long-term plans aside, we were actually a little late, as the familiar armband guy was just getting ready to close the gates by the time we crossed them. Once we reached the classroom, my assistant and the princess huddled together at the former's desk and continued their occasionally heated planning.

As for me, I practically fell into my chair and buried my head in my hands. I stayed like that for a few minutes, right until I was tapped on the shoulder, prompting me to glance up groggily.

"Morning," Josh greeted me with a grin. "Women-problems?"

I am the first to admit that my friend had many good qualities. Tact definitely wasn't one of them.

"You could say that," I answered while straightening myself and nodding at him instead of a proper greeting.

"Serves you right for playing around," he quipped with a toothy grin as he sat down as well. He obviously wasn't serious. Well, probably. Hopefully. "So, what is it this time?" He inquired while nodding towards the two girls.

"They are planning our trip this weekend."

"You are going on a date? With which one?"

"Both." Josh whistled, but I continued before he could say anything else. "By the way, I think we should stop calling it a ‘date' whenever we hang out with one of the girls. It completely dilutes the real meaning of the word."

He looked unusually thoughtful for a moment and nodded in agreement. "Right, we do that a lot, don't we? How about we just call them outings unless it involves a goodbye kiss?"

"That sounds reasonable. Speaking of which, how did your outing with the princess go?"

To my surprise, my friend immediately averted his eyes, followed by an awkward cough.

"Didn't she tell you already?"

"I'm curious about your impression."

He shrugged, leaned closer for a conspiratorial huddle, and whispered, "Honestly? It was fun, but she couldn't stop talking about you."

"... Really?"

"Yeah. She was bringing you into all kinds of conversations. She asked about what kind of music you like when we were in the karaoke, she asked about your favorite meal when we were at the fast foods..." He paused and leaned closer to me, his voice falling even lower. "Seriously, I'm sure you have noticed already, but she seems to like you. A lot. Do you get what I am saying?"

I awarded him a flat look and sighed.

"Thank you captain obvious."

"You are welcome," he flashed one of those childish, toothy grins of his before he leaned even closer. In fact, he was leaning forwards so much I was afraid he would fall out of his chair, so I grudgingly leaned in a little so he wouldn't have to. He nodded in appreciation and whispered, "Listen, I don't want to stick my nose into your personal life or anything, but do you really think playing around with both of them is a good idea?"

"What are you talking about? I am not ‘playing around' with them."

"Fine, so you are just enabling them. Either way, I think you should sit down with them and clear things up before things turn nasty. You know what I'm saying?"

I wish someone took a picture of me at that exact moment. I figured my expression was so flat its edge could be used to split photons, and that didn't even make any sense!

"Dude... Did you just say what I think you just said?"

"Uh... Depends. What did you hear?"

"Zero self-awareness, for a start," I grumbled, but seeing that he still didn't get it, I threw my hands into the air and gave up. "Fine, I get your point."

I certainly did. While the previous day's sudden confession complicated things a little, the whole situation with Judy and Elly had been brewing for a while, so I had plenty of time to think about it. There was only one small problem though: the whole concept of teen romance drama made my skin crawl. I know, I know; it's a little weird to say that while being trapped in a harem narrative, but it was the truth. I was really, really bad with this stuff to the point I would've probably fought tooth and nail against getting entangled in such drama if I wasn't already neck deep in it. Heck, a small part of me still kept whispering to me about how I should just stonewall the girls and focus on more important things, but doing so at this point would have made me a monumental jerk, so I gave up on the idea a long time ago.

Not that purposefully 'keeping my options open' put me in a much better light, but in my defense, I had a plan. Or at least half a plan. ... Well, okay, maybe it was just a rudimentary idea thay may or may no royally bite me in the ass later, but if it worked, it was my best chance for resolving this annoying love triangle thing without any metaphorical bloodshed. It was at least worth a try. If only others would let me work it out without meddling.

...

Nah, I'm kidding. I wasn't mad at Josh. He only tried to help, as clumsy and oblivious as he was, so I had no reason to blow him off. I took a deep breath and returned to the conversation with a slightly cooler head.

"Let's just say I'm going to make sure not to make anyone cry. Is that good enough?"

"I suppose," my friend acknowledged, though he didn't sound entirely convinced.

Our conversation would've probably gone on for a little longer if not for the appearance of Mrs. Applebottom. The classroom quickly fell silent as everyone scurried to their seats, including the princess, who sat down in front of me with a satisfied smile. I honestly didn't know whether I should feel relieved or afraid.

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