The Simulacrum

Chapter 83: ~Chapter 27~ Part 2


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"Is she asleep?" Judy asked me the moment I reached the bottom of the stairs, without even looking up from her phone.

"Yes," I answered lightly as I walked over and sat down beside her on the couch.

After Snowy took a quick bath, we realized she had no clothes to change into, so I lent her a shirt, while Judy procured a set of brand new underwear from somewhere (and when I asked her about it, she said she was carrying it around just in case, whatever the hell that meant). Now,  I'm pretty damn tall, so Snowy was always petite to me (just like the other girls, now that I thought about it), but when she was wearing my comparatively circus-tent-sized shirt, she looked positively tiny. Anyways, after we explained to her how our new polyamorous relationship came to be with the princess, a conversation in which she was weirdly invested for some reason, I decided to lend her one of the empty rooms in the house for the time being, and she went to sleep pretty much the moment she hit the bed.

But back to the present: After I sat down beside her, Judy put her phone aside and turned to me with a serious expression.

"Chief, let's talk."

I closed my eyes for a moment. Ever since this morning, I could see something was eating at her, and some of the throw-away jabs made it clear she wasn't in a good mood either. I had a sneaking suspicion about what she wanted to discuss, so I prepared myself and gave her the go.

"Sure."

My assistant took a deep breath, then began with, "Let's start with your new ability. You said you can teleport to anyone you can see with Far Sight?"

I was a little surprised by her opening topic, but I quickly collected myself. Maybe she was trying to ease me into it? Either way, there was no point in pondering on her thought process at the moment.

"Pretty much, yes," I replied in a neutral voice.

"And you used Neige to test it?"

"Indeed."

"Even though we agreed that you would be more careful about revealing your abilities."

I expected this line of criticism as well, but since I had time to think about it, I was prepared with a rebuttal.

"Yeah. I mean, I had to test it somehow, and considering it was Snowy, I thought it was safe to use her as the guinea pig." I paused as I glanced up the stairs, making sure her 'dot' was still where I left her, then I continued with, "She was sleep-deprived and pretty shaken at the time, so I figured it wouldn't hurt if I could take her home in an instant. Win-win."

"That sounds like post hoc rationalization to me," Judy grumbled, but I dismissed her objection with a shrug.

"Well, I already did it, so there's no point crying over spilled milk." My girlfriend seemed less than satisfied by my words, so I hastily added, "Okay, then how about this: I had this idea for a while, but how about some misdirection?" That earned me a curious look, so I told her, "Since people are bound to be interested in my abilities, why don't we tell them some consistent false info? Like for example, let's tell Snowy that it was some kind of emergency-escape skill that teleported me back to my house?"

"According to my knowledge, teleportation spells are very complicated and take a lot of time and resources to set up."

"Perfect," I said with a smirk. "I had to mess around a bit to get it working, so we can say I was preparing it."

"… That could theoretically work," Judy finally conceded.

"Yeah. I think we can do the same for my other abilities too. Make them think there are some limitations to them, I will use them consistently with their expectations, and when the situation calls for it, they might turn out to be great aces in the hole during the next life-or-death situation."

Judy gave me a flat look after hearing my words.

"I would prefer if you tried to avoid such situations, if possible."

"Yeah, yeah, naturally," I answered while thinking about the next thing. "So, for my magic vision, we can call that a unique ability of some kind."

"What kind?"

"Well…" I paused for a moment, then I tentatively said, "Psychic?"

"Psychic," Judy repeated after me.

"Hey, don't look at me like that! You were the one who insisted on it just this morning! Not to mention, it's already something the class rep suspects, so we might as well keep rolling with it. In fact, it's pretty much the only thing we can use. I remember Crowey once said that I had no mana whatsoever, so I can't really claim to be a hedge wizard or the like."

"He said that. He also said that his plan was flawless and we stood no chance against him."

"Those were just villain dialog," I rebutted. "Seriously though, I'm inclined to believe him on the mana part. He said it to Brang while I spied on him; there was no reason for him to lie there."

"Very well," Judy conceded the point after writing down a few more lines, "So, what is your cover for your abilities again?"

"Well…" I began, and the discussion didn't stop for a good twenty minutes.

At the end of it, Judy put her phone down and let out a long breath before she said, "So, just to summarize: You have no mana because you are psychic. You can see and dispel magic because of that. Your precognitive reflexes should be hidden, so we explain them by saying you..." She paused, seemingly just so that she could theatrically glance at her phone, then she continued with, "'know kung fu'."

"Well, maybe not kung fu, but some kind of martial art. Let's be vague about it."

"As always," my assistant nodded, then continued. "The information gained through Far Sight should be explained by you being an information trader on the side, and your teleportation is a…" She trailed off, probably just to annoy me, considering her memory.

"It's a secret artifact that can only be used once every 72 hours," I said a little begrudgingly.

"Yes," she nodded again, then she looked up at me and said, "So according to your cover story, you are a psychic anti-magic martial artist with an unknown intelligence network and equipped with a rare reusable teleportation artifact." She glanced down at her phone, then back at me, then at her phone again, and finally she asked, "How is this supposed to bring less attention to you again?"

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"Oh, come on!" I threw my hands into the air in protest. "We both know this is the best we've got."

"Indeed," Judy nodded, again, "Since you already dug yourself into this hole, I think we have to work around it."

"Ouch," I muttered flatly, "You are being grumpier than usual."

It was supposed to be a throwaway comment, but instead Judy gave me a sharp look, followed by, "Then maybe you should think about your actions a bit more."

"… Is this still about my abilities? Are you still mad at me because I revealed them to Snowy?"

By this point her eyes were positively withering, and she only said, "Among other things."

That made me stop in my tracks for a moment. I felt like I somehow stepped on a landmine, and I had a feeling it was the one I knew was right in front of me for a while now, but at present, I had no choice but to bite the bullet and ask, "Could you be a little more specific? I think I'm missing something."

I received another frown from my assistant, then she pointedly put her phone down and changed her posture on the couch so she would face me more directly.

"Yes Chief, you are." Seeing how the atmosphere in the room took a sudden turn to the serious, I involuntarily swallowed, but Judy didn't seem to care as she continued with, "You see, I'm fine with our current relationship."

I blinked at her in surprise. I expected some kind of bombshell to fall considering how serious she looked, but that was quite ordinary. Deceptively so. As such, I couldn't help but hesitantly say, "I'm glad to hear that, but—"

"But," she interrupted me before I could say my piece. "I'm not fine with how you are treating it." I must've looked supremely baffled, as she shook her head and let her shoulders slouch as she began to explain, "Chief, I knew what kind of world we live in. I also knew where your repeated interactions with Eleanor would lead. I tried my best to be more aggressive, so that we could enter into a monogamous relationship before things would get more complicated with Eleanor, but I've prepared myself for an outcome like this from the very beginning. It's not my preferred result, but I could see things potentially turning out much more 'crowded', so to speak, so I accepted the compromise."

"I see," I muttered, somewhat humbled by the way she spelled things out for me, but she ignored me and continued completely unabated.

"However, I don't think you are taking this relationship seriously enough." She paused, and I was tempted to look away from her intense stare, but I forced myself to stay still. After a short while, Judy's voice softened into a whisper and she said, "Leo, tell me honestly: did you decide on this polyamorous relationship because it was the path of least resistance?"

"I... would be lying if I said it didn't factor into my thought process," I admitted, my voice sounding a little bitter even to myself.

"Chief, I love you. Eleanor loves you too. But do you actually love either of us? Have you ever said the word out loud?" Judy asked, her voice ever so slightly wavering with every word. "I'm willing to compromise, to put in the effort necessary to make this work, to make this something more than just a convenient way to avoid romantic tension between the three of us. Even now, I'm taking this relationship seriously." Judy paused for a moment, and her voice became very heavy as she asked, "Can I count on you to do that same?"

I tried to formulate an answer, but I couldn't. It didn't matter though, as my silence was condemning enough. Judy looked at me for a few long seconds, and the fact that she didn't seem like she expected an answer right away made it both relieving and humiliating at the same time.

At last, my assistant stood up and took a step back.

"It's getting late," she told me flatly while glancing at the clock. "I should go home, or dad will worry." Saying so, she said grabbed her coat and told me, "Let's… continue this discussion tomorrow."

Then she left, as if escaping the oppressive silence, without saying anything else. Not that it mattered, as I was still in a bit of a guilt-induced stupor at the moment. For several silent minutes, I sat where she left me while holding my head in my palm, listening to the ticking of the clock on the wall of the lonely living room as I was in the process of getting my wayward thoughts in order.

At last, after feeling adequately composed, I let out a self-deprecating groan and I leaned back on the couch with the nape of my neck resting on the top of the back cushions. For a few seconds I stared at the ceiling, then I closed my eyes and retreated into my mind for a much-needed session of self-reflection.

As much as I hated to admit it, Judy hit the nail on the head. Hard. So hard, in fact, that I was still reeling back from it. Hindsight is always 20/20, but in this case, it was doubly embarrassing, as I more or less spelled this out to the girls when I asked them out. I told them I was taking drastic measures because I was expecting future troubles and I didn't want our love triangle to interfere. That was as good as admitting that I considered our love triangle bothersome and I wanted to exchange it for a less troublesome relationship. Not because I liked them, or because I wanted to be with them. In short, I made the choice for the wrong reasons. Judy could see that from the get-go, but the princess was simply too excited to notice.

After a moment of thinking, I stood up and headed towards the kitchen. I decided to make myself a big mug of tea, as doing menial tasks like that often helped me think more clearly.

As I did so, I began to ponder: if I entered into this relationship for the wrong reasons, then what were the right reasons? Let's discard all the external factors about harem narratives and annoying/comedic love-triangle situations. The first question was this: did I like Judy and Elly?

The answer to that was a resounding yes. Judy was my assistant, my closest confidante, and we were practically always on the same wavelength. I loved spending time with her, I loved talking with her, I loved how amusing her expressions were once you figured out how to read her, and I loved both her serious and cute sides.

As for the princess, I always had a lot of fun teasing her, and as much as she denied it, I'm sure she didn't hate it either. I loved her awkwardness, I loved her cuteness peeking through her façade of confidence, and I loved how nice and sociable she was behind all those verbal thorns.

The spoon in my hand stopped midway in the air, sugar still tricking into the mug in my other hand, as my brows furrowed with a small yet alarming realization. Yes, there were many things I loved about both my girlfriends, but… did I love them? The answer should have been obvious, yet…

"Do I?" I wondered aloud as I finally put the spoon into my mug.

I mean, I obviously liked them both, a lot, but as for 'love'? I wasn't so sure. Not that I had much experience in the subject, amnesia and all, but wasn't love supposed to be… I don't know. More intense? People always say it's like a yearning, or a burning sensation, but I couldn't say I ever felt that. I didn't remember feeling love-struck or exceptionally giddy when they were around me, nor do I recall suffering heartache when I haven't seen them for a few days. Sure, lately I often felt strangely content when I was in their company, but wasn't love supposed to be more passionate than that?

I shook my head and took a sip from my mug. It was still missing something, so I went over to the cupboard and took out a jar of honey I saved for occasions like this. But back to the topic at hand: I actually didn't know how intense love was supposed to feel. Realizing that, I decided to look at the problem from another angle: did I want to stay with them in a relationship, potentially for the rest of my life? I thought long and hard about it, but for a slightly peculiar reason: I was immediately one hundred percent certain I wanted to do that, and it made me wonder why that conclusion came to me so readily.

I mean, I just spent the last couple of minutes hesitating about whether my feelings would qualify as love or not, but if they asked me if I would like to get married and settle down tomorrow, I would probably say yes on the spot. Did that make sense?.

I picked up my mug with a small sigh and left the kitchen. I walked up the stairs and I made extra sure I was very quiet as I walked past the room where Snowy was sleeping. At last, I entered my room, carefully closed the door behind me to make sure I made as little noise as possible, then I sat down in front of my PC and placed the mug on the desk before exhaling a pent-up breath.

So, what was my conclusion? I liked them as people and wanted to have them close to me. In other words, I wanted this relationship, whether I was clear on the whole 'love' thing or not. I also realized something else important during my self-reflection: Judy was right about one more thing. A relationship required compromise, effort, and sincerity. A relationship like ours required all three in droves. However, I was no longer hesitant about it.

Compromise? The two of them were already making the biggest one by agreeing with my selfishness, so it was only fair that I would follow suit.

Effort? I'm the man who never sleeps. If I would need to sacrifice those extra hours to make this work, it would be a small price to pay.

Sincerity? … Well, okay, maybe I didn't have the cleanest track record when it comes to that, but if it's about our relationship, I was more than willing to compromise with my habits and make the effort to be more sincere. For a start, I really had to start using the damn L-word more often, even if I wasn't entirely sure about the exact nature of my feelings yet.

With my mind finally clear, my enthusiasm renewed, and my computer booted, I let out a small chuckle after taking another sip from my mug, then I opened my personal folder and created a new file titled, 'Operation: OTT'.

Hey, it might not have been perfectly accurate, but it sure as hell was snappier than 'a semi-platonic subtype of the polyamorous Type 8 Triangular Relationship'…

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