Chapter 96: ~Chapter 33~ Part 1

"I'm outside of the gates now," stated the echoing voice of Elly as she cautiously peeked left and right just outside of the main gates of the Dracis mansion. "Where are you?"

"Move a little further to the right," I instructed her through the phone while simultaneously observing her with Far Sight. "Further. Further. Just a liiiiitle further..."

I continued to watch her inch forward step by step (which was an admittedly amusing sight, as she was just a manila trench coat away to look like a highly visible spy that just stepped out of an eighties Saturday morning cartoon), until I was sure she was hidden from casual observers by the thick hedge surrounding the estate. The moment I felt in the clear, I tightened my grip on Judy's waist and we both appeared right behind her.

The princess was still scanning the perimeter, so I quickly cut the line, put my phone away, and by the time she finally turned around, I was already flashing my most suave smile at her and greeted her.

"Good evening, princess."

At this point Elly was still holding the phone by her ear, and she kept it there as she proceeded to blink at me with a weird mixture of surprise and confusion, plus just a hint of a frown on top of it all.

"Why were you hiding?" she finally asked as she awkwardly put her phone away.

"We weren't really hiding per se," I answered ambiguously, only to get elbowed in the side by Judy for my trouble.

"I told you; no more ad-hoc excuses," she warned me as she simultaneously slipped out of my embrace.

"It wasn't an excuse! We weren't actually hiding," I voiced my complaint, only to get shot down by a withering scowl (by Judy standards, of course).

"Hush, Chief. After your recent track record, I am afraid even asking about the weather would cause you to make an international incident," my assistant replied with an exasperated pout.

"International incident?" Elly cut in with a curiously raised brow as she sidled up to the two of us.

"It's kind of a long story," I sheepishly told her, lest I would incur even more of Judy's wrath.

"We will tell you later," Judy stated, then after a moment of thinking she gestured towards the estate gates while telling the other girl, "Let's go inside first, or you will catch a cold."

I blinked in honest surprise at her words. I mean, not the part about Elly catching a cold. I asked her to go outside on a short notice, so she was dressed only in her indoor clothes, and considering how it was late in the afternoon and how chilly the autumn weather had been as of late, I wholeheartedly agreed that she should get inside. The part that actually confused me was Judy's insistence that we should do so as well. Technically the only reason why we were here on the first place was because I might have forgotten that, for us to get home from our secret base, I actually needed to have someone at home to teleport to.

Now, to be perfectly honest here, the Princess wasn't exactly on the top of my list of target-candidates, but a quick Far Sight peek at each member of our circle of friends revealed that their homes were positively filled with those creepy eyeball surveillance orb thingies. Well, except for the Class Rep's, but she was just about to have a shower, so she was right out of the question; and no, I didn't actually tell the shower thing to Judy, as she was cross enough with me already without some kind of misunderstanding about peeking on girls throwing more fuel onto my funeral pyre.

But putting my metaphorical self-immolation aside, after observing Elly via Far Sight, I found out that the Dracis estate didn't actually have any such surveillance, so the only thing we had to avoid while teleporting in was the ever vigilant eyes of the mansion's staff in general and a certain butler in particular. As such, we left Snowy in the secret base, both so that she could continue her reunion with her 'uncle Brang' and so that they could work out the kinks in their new contract or fealty or whatever. Hence the current situation.

Now, I am not going to lie; I was about ninety percent sure that the moment we arrived back in the neighborhood, Judy would grab me by the hand, drag me to my room, and then spend about an hour scolding me about some of my recent life decisions. To be fair, I did regret some of them, but I had a feeling the things she was most upset about weren't amongst them. Such as, I certainly didn't regret bringing Brang and company over. Nor did I regret the pranks I played on Crowey, even if they kind of, um, shall I say 'gone out of hand'?

Of course I told everything I learned about Crowey's situation (and tantrum) through Far Sight to Judy… which was one of the things I regretted a tiny little bit. I mean, what she didn't know about, she couldn't' reprimand me about, right? Granted, I would have probably told it to her at some point later anyways, but doing so right after she finished chewing me out for recruiting a squad of Faun without any plans to feed and supply them might not have been one of my brighter ideas.

Anyhow, I think it was about time I stopped getting stuck on the circumstances and instead returned to the present situation, where Judy was still gesturing for us to go through the gates. I gave her a slightly hesitant look and ultimately asked, "Do we have some business here?"

"I do," she responded with a nod. "I want to talk to mister von Fraenir and discuss your new recruits before it would lead to some kind of enormous misunderstanding with the Dracis household."

"Recruits?" Elly asked, as she was getting increasingly confused by our discussion, and yet she somehow still had to presence of mind to very sneakily edge over to my side, as if waiting for an opportunity to grab me as usual.

"Another long story," I answered her, and then I let out a shallow breath and gave an affirmative nod to my other girlfriend, following which I began walking towards the gates with heavy steps.

"Wait!" the princess abruptly exclaimed as she excitedly followed after me. "Are you staying for dinner? I will go tell Melinda to prepare two extra servings!"

"I… don't think so?" I answered with more than a slight uncertainty. "We are just going to have a short talk with Sebastian."

"Not 'we'," Judy interjected while lining up with us on my other side. Noticing my raised brows, she let out a small sigh and told me, "I want to sit down with him to explain our situation. Just the two of us. Without a certain someone picking a fight and causing another incident."

"I—" I wanted to defend myself, but in the end all I could do was to swallow my flimsy rebuttal. I mean, while I was sure that if I tried really, really hard, I could probably stop myself from verbally sparring with the old lizard, I unfortunately couldn't really guarantee it. As I realized that, I also couldn't help but feel frustrated by my weird temper around the old man. I mean, it wasn't really my fault… or maybe it was? Either way, letting my temper get the best of me to the point where my girlfriend was outright disappointed in me honestly stung a lot.

In the meantime Elly must have somehow came to a conclusion based on our discussion, and when we reached the actual entrance of the mansion, she happily skipped ahead and told me, "All right! I will tell the staff we are having guests!"

"Call mister von Fraenir too," Judy stressed, at which point Elly theatrically rolled her eyes, which looked a little weird when accompanied with her still beaming smile.

"Come on Judy! I'm not deaf, I heard it already."

Saying so, she let out a high-spirited giggle and she disappeared through a large wooden door, leaving the two of us alone in the lavish foyer of the mansion. I might have mentioned this before, but damn, the Dracis knew how to do interior decoration. Unfortunately what they didn't know was the word 'restraint', so the place looked so opulent with all the golden foil and polished hardwood that it was pretty much suffocating.

Speaking of suffocation, for a few seconds there was a really heavy silence in the air between Judy and I, so I hastily cleared my throat, and in lieu of breaking the ice I rhetorically asked, "So, should we stay for dinner too?"

She glanced up at me, her eyes still set ambiguously between 'sulky' and 'angry', but in the end she simply shrugged her shoulders and answered, "We might as well. The cook here can probably do better than grilled cheese."

"Oh, come on!" I raised my voice in protest. "I told you, I didn't actually write that!"

"Then what did you write?" she asked back, not at all swayed by my sincere assertion.

I groaned aloud, then I leaned forward and continued in a strained whisper, "I told you already! I wrote the Archon thing because I thought it would make the Celestial connection more believable if they managed to translate it somehow. The rest was supposed to be pure gibberish! How the hell was I supposed to know they would be able to read not one, but four different lines out of it?! I'm totally innocent! A victim of circumstance!"

"You sure are," Judy nodded with a look that said she didn't have a shred of faith in my innocence.

"Come on, Dormouse!" I objected again, and as much as I hate to admit it, it came out as a bit of a whine. "Please believe me!"

She gave me a long, hard look, after which her frown finally eased off a little.

"Very well Chief. Let us say I will, against my better judgment, believe in you. Can you actually explain to me what happened?"

I let out a relieved breath, following which I fell silent for a moment to collect my thoughts.

"I would be lying if I said I have a concrete answer, but… I have three hypotheses off the top of my head."

"Three?" Judy raised a single brow, which finally erased the last traces of that awful glare from her face, to my utmost relief.

"Yes," I answered accompanied by an emphatic nod. "They are, from most to least mundane, are as follows: My first option is that the actual translators messed up. I honestly thought I was writing complete gobbledygook, but it is possible that they have read into it something that wasn't actually there."

"The lines were too complex for that," Judy denied my explanation on the spot, but I gestured for her to let me continue.

"I know, but I have two possible explanations for that: either their 'experts' were so desperate for answers they completely fudged the translation, or they realized that it was meaningless, and so they translated it more 'liberally' so that they would even have an answer to present to the angry, bedridden Abyssal Lord."

"Whom you poisoned."

"On accident!" I protested again, only for her to shake her head.

"The one about crows is still too much on the nose," Judy stated after some consideration.

"True," I granted her, albeit hesitantly, "But that's when my second hypothesis comes into the picture. Do you remember when we discussed my language skills and how weird Celestial Script was? Like, how the syntax felt like it was constantly shifting when I wasn't paying full attention?"

"Yes," Judy nodded, then she suddenly froze as she frowned again. Thankfully this time it was the thoughtful kind of frown, not the disdainful one she was treating me with until very recently. "You think the words you wrote rearranged themselves between the time you wrote them and they translated them," she finally stated with a tone that said she was completely confident in her prediction of my thoughts.

"You once again prove you know me better than I do myself," I told her with a jestful little smirk to ease the mood. "Yes, that's what I think. Or more precisely, I think there might have been some patterns in the gibberish I wrote based on my state of mind at the time. Like, I was thinking of Crowey, so I might have wrote something about crows in there. Then I was thinking about snappy words to add, which would explain the quote and the bits about being a true god of whatever."

"And the grilled cheese part?" Judy's question was about as skeptical as it could get, but I could only shrug my shoulder.

"I might have been a little peckish…"

She looked me in the eye for a while, as if to see if I was serious, but then she finally let her shoulders slacken and stated, "So you are saying that it is the unusual syntax of the Celestial Script that is at fault." She paused for a second, then added, "It's a little convenient."

"Well… I still have my third hypothesis," I told her while averting my gaze for a moment, but then I took a deep breath and told her with a forced smile, "It's your favorite too; narrative influence."

That earned me a curiously raised brow and she immediately followed it up by asking, "At which point?"

"Take your pick," I answered with exasperation masked by nonchalance. "I might have been influencing my choice of words, or changing the words themselves on the paper after the fact, or influencing the translators. The depressing possibilities are endless!"

"That's strange," Judy spoke while raising a finger to her chin in contemplation.

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"Which part?"

"The one where you only acknowledge the possibility of narrative influence when it lets you avoid the consequences of your actions," she answered with a poker face even more deadpan than usual, but before I could voice my just protests, she lightly shook her head and added, "Nevertheless, you've made your point, and I have to admit that there were exonerating circumstances following your latest misdemeanors. For the time being, I will acquit you of your crimes against commons sense and annul your prohibition of cuddling."

"Wait, since when was that prohibited?"

My dear assistant magnificently ignored my entirely valid question, and instead she glanced at her phone and then told me, "Since it was postponed due to the previous prohibition, cluddle-o-clock will be re-scheduled until after dinner."

I gave Judy a flat look, but after a while I gave up on trying to convey my feeling with gestures alone and instead I muttered, "So I didn't actually convince you, you just wanted an excuse to move on so we could cuddle later."

"I unfortunately cannot confirm or deny such accusations without my attorney present."

"Wait, I'm confused now. Weren't you playing judge just a moment ago?"

"Chief, don't be silly. Judges and attorneys are not the same thing."

"I know, but—"

Our little, at this point practically customary, exchange of the random banter ball would have likely continued unabated for a while, if not for the sudden opening of the door on our left, which incidentally was the same one where the princess exited the scene not too long ago. Through said door entered a familiar pair in the form of Sebastian and Melinda. They were wearing their usual garbs, with Sebastian opting for an actual, I-shit-you-not monocle to complete the image, while Melinda had her long, blonde braids behind her back as usual.

"Good evening," Judy immediately greeted them like they were close associates… which, considering how she had way more contact with them than I did due to her frequent visits to the Library, was likely on the mark.

In response Melinda honest to goodness curtsied, while the old butler only glanced over us with a slight nod, "Good evening, miss Sennoma. And you."

An appropriate retort was on the tip of my tongue, but a quick glance at my finally placated assistant made me swallow it back down, and instead I greeted them a little late with a curt, "Evening."

That earned me an odd look from Sebastian, but before he could get started, Judy stepped forth and addressed him, "I wish to speak with you in private, if you have the time."

Now it was her turn to get a peculiar look from the old butler. In the end he lightly shrugged his shoulders and answered, "If it is important, I can open up some time in my schedule for the evening." For some reason at this point he gave me a quick glance and then asked, "Should we head to my office or the library?"

"The library," Judy answered on the spot. "I feel more comfortable there."

"Very well," he nodded, and to be honest, it kind of irked me how polite he was with her, as opposed to his usual abrasive attitude when he was talking with me. I could not dwell on it for long though, as the blonde maid stepped forth at this time and she gestured towards me.

"Lady Eleanor informed me that you will be staying for dinner. I was told to lead you to her room until then."

"… Okay," I answered a little uncertainly, but before I knew it, Judy was already walking out of the foyer behind the butler, so I had little choice but to follow after my own guide, and so we also left the room through a different door. The two of us started walking down some familiar corridors, thought to be honest, I wasn't sure I have been in them before, or just that the whole huge mansion was made out of similar looking hallways.

I was just about to get lost in my thoughts when I was yanked out of my contemplation by Melinda letting out a dry cough to draw my attention.

"I have been informed that milady and you are currently dating. Congratulations."

For a second or two I could only stare at the maid in flabbergasted silence, and then I tentatively answered, "Thanks, though I would probably feel better about it if you didn't look like you wanted to stab me."

"I have no idea what you are talking about," she continued with a wooden smile while simultaneously still staring daggers at me. "Could it be your inner guilt manifesting? Is there anything related to your relationship with milady that you would think would make me want to repeatedly stab you in cold blood?"

"… Oookay, that was too graphic for my comfort," I stopped and then, after quickly looking around, I gestured for her to follow me to a nearby nook and told her, "I have a feeling you really want to tell me something, so how about we stop here for a while and discuss it before it explodes into our faces?"

The blonde maid gave me a skeptical look, but then followed after me and faced me with a disapproving frown and a conspiratorial whisper.

"Very well. Since you seem to be receptive, I will get to the point straight away. Are you also dating miss Sennoma?"

I had a feeling it was something like this, so I immediately answered, "Yes, things turned out like that."

"Are you intending to keep up this relationship?"

"Well, yes, that's the plan," I answered sincerely.

Melinda gave me another critical look, then she let out a tired breath and began, with a firm yet somewhat helpless voice, "I will be honest with you. I was well aware that milady would one day find a partner. I hoped, from the bottom of my heart, that she would find a 'special someone' who loved her back, instead of being forced into a bleak political marriage. For a while, I hoped that someone would be you, but…"

"Hold on," I cut in with raised hands. "I do like her a lot, you know? I wouldn't be going out with her otherwise."

"Then why are you also dating another girl?"

"I told you, it just turned out that way!" I explained aloud, only to tone my voice back to a whisper as I continued, "Also, it's not like I am dating the two of them separately; all three of us are technically in the same, big relationship."

Melinda gave me a skeptical look and repeated after me, "All three of you are in a single relationship? How does that work?"

"I can't really tell you, since I am also pretty new to this, but so far it kinda does." I paused for a moment to look for further arguments, and then I added, "Actually, Elly said the Dracis family had something similar going on, with multiple wives or whatnot."

"A practice like that exists, yes…" she mumbled uncertainly, "But it is for the head of the family only."

"And the princess is going to be that when the current head retires, right?"

"Yes?" Melinda nodded with an expression that said she had a hard time believing she was agreeing with me.

"Then there is no problem, is there?"

The chambermaid fell silent for a long time, then she ultimately asked, "So you are trying to use our traditions to benefit yourself in this strange relationship."

"I deny your accusation, and if anything, it was the princess who decided to invoke it to resolve our love triangle."

"I see," she once again fell silent for a moment, then said, "However, have you thought about this: If you grant this precedent to milady, aren't you afraid that it would open the door to allow her to take another mistress?"

"Mistress?" I mumbled for a moment, but then I shook my head, "Well, no. I mean, she was already very accommodating in the resolution of our current relationship, so if she really insisted, I don't think I would have the gall to object, especially since I am the guy who already has two girlfriends at the moment."

"Really?" Melinda suddenly perked up.

"Um… yes?" I replied uncertainly, at which point the maid gave me an uncharacteristically enthusiastic nod, only to finally realize she was acting weird, so she unashamedly cleared her throat and tried to act all prim and proper again, which incidentally only made her even more suspicious.

"I see. If you have put so much thought into your relationship with milady, and you are willing to compromise to that extent, I believe I have no objection to your liaison"

Saying so, she selfishly decided to end the conversation here and gestured for me to follow after her as she exited the nook with a slight new spring in her steps. I had a very, very bad feeling about this, but I decided not to confront the suspicious maid right now and instead ask Elly about it in a roundabout way.

Anyways, as we continued on our way, I suddenly recalled something else that nearly slipped my mind due to the unexpected discussion about my relationships.

"Melinda, I have a quick question?"

"Yes, sir?"

That almost made me stumble, so after regaining my balance I repeated after her, with no small amount of incredulity, "Sir?"

"Would you prefer if I addressed you as young master instead? Or, considering the circumstances, 'future young master'?"

"… I have no idea whether you are making fun of me right now or not, and frankly, I don't think I really want to know either. Instead, can you just tell me if you left any of your uniforms over at my place?"

The chambermaid paused thoughtfully for a moment, then she admitted, "I believe I might have indeed left a pair of spare uniforms in your guest room. If they are in the way, I will arrange with the family chauffeur to take them home in short notice."

"Before that, I was actually curious if you would be willing to sell them."

Melinda paused again, for what seemed like the umpteenth time in our short discussion, and then she pointedly took a step away from me while musing, "I never thought future young master had such an interest. I believe I have to be vigilant in the future."

"No, I don't, and no, you won't, and stop backing away from me and listen to what I am saying!"

In the end I had to spend the whole time it took to get to Elly's room to somehow resolve the misunderstanding before the whole estate would conclude I had a maid fetish. Seriously, why did all the women in my life have to be so bloody difficult!?

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