Chapter 14: 14th Log – Who am I?

Even the whopping slap in the face did not take Hadrian's surprise away. "What, you don't remember anything now?" he asked in disbelief. Then he understood the answer from Zoe's face and burst out laughing.

 

"You don't remember anything, but still you found me and got me in trouble, huh?" Hadrian was laughing even as he said this. He even laughed a little too much, probably because of the absurdity of the situation. There were even tears in his eyes.

 

“They said you were from Rox City and stole a card from Araf and ran away. I had to find you because of these," said Zoe calmly.

 

"So you didn't come to the Abyss to finish the job you started, right? Since you can use cards, I thought you came either for this or to mess with the Godfreys,” replied Hadrian.

 

“All I remember is being pushed here by someone called Cain. I don't know anyone named Godfrey or something. I don't even remember you," she said, sounding exhausted.

 

“Did Cain push you here? HAHAHAHA,” Hadrian burst out laughing again. He was quite cheerful for someone who was about to die. He wanted to wipe the tears from his eyes, but he couldn't because Zoe had cut his arms off.

 

Angered at Hadrian's smug laughter, Zoe became enraged. “Who is this Cain? How does Cain relate to me? How do you know us?" She slapped him after each question. She shook Hadrian by the shoulders, trying to get an answer.

 

Despite all the blows, Hadrian had not lost his mirth. He tried to spit at Zoe but failed to hit his target. “Stupid Cain threw you in here but couldn't dismantle your CyberDeck? Then he is also in trouble with the Godfreys right now. No one gets thrown into the Abyss with their CyberDeck. You don't remember now, but you knew this too. You had the decency to dismantle my CyberDeck. Or you may have to settle accounts with the Godfreys."

 

“Who are these Godfreys? And why did I throw you here? How do we relate to Cain? ANSWER!" Zoe's rage was getting bigger and bigger, she was hitting Hadrian harder each time. So much so that Brad had to come and intervene.

 

“Stop Zoe! You will kill him before you get the answers you want!” exclaimed Brad, grabbing Zoe by the arm.

 

Zoe was calmed by what Brad said. She waited for a while and came to her senses. She was still holding Hadrian by the head. She placed him next to a rock.

 

“I will ask one by one. I want straight answers from you," said Zoe, trying to stay as calm as possible.

 

Hadrian had stopped laughing. The last hits must have hurt him a lot. With his now quite scattered, bruised head, he nodded approvingly to Zoe, indicating that he would give her the answers she wanted.

 

"Who am I?" Zoe asked calmly.

 

“You are a treacherous whore.” he said and started laughing again. Zoe was trying not to get angry, but she felt disgust for this man with her whole body. Apart from what he did to Dan, all her cells were telling her that she had to kill this man here.

 

Slowly, the man stopped laughing and began to speak again. “Do you really think I would cooperate with someone who killed me twice?” At the end of his sentence, he spat on the ground.

 

Although Zoe didn't want to accept it, she more or less understood that she wouldn't get the answers she wanted from Hadrian. But she still wanted to push her luck a little more. She picked up Pinky, which was still floating in the air. She brought the tip of her katana under Hadrian's chin and lifted his head up.

 

“What kind of cards did I have?” said Zoe in a composed manner. She was hovering her katana over Hadrian's body. “It was obvious that I scared you a lot. In fact, you almost surrendered directly.”

 

"Stop already, don't make me laugh!" said Hadrian, as if laughing genuinely hurt more than any of the other attacks. “Cain was at least smart enough to take your cards. I don't think anyone above could mess with him now."

 

Talking to Hadrian left Zoe grappling with new questions rather than answers. What kind of cards did I have that Hadrian praised and feared so much? Who are these Godfreys? How close were Cain and I really? Why did I throw this man here? Such questions were swirling in her mind, and this situation stunned her even more.

 

"You won't answer no matter what I do, will you?" asked Zoe.

 

Hadrian nodded. He wasn't smiling anymore, he only had hatred in his eyes. He really hated Zoe with all his being. He was glad that she had been thrown here, too, but he didn't like knowing that she could get away with her CyberDeck.

 

"Maybe it's good that you lost your memory, Zoe," said Hadrian, looking at Zoe with disgust on his face. “If I were you, I wouldn't bother regaining my memory when I went above. Get yourself new memories and a new personality. Maybe this time you can manage not to be obnoxious.”

 

"You're saying that because I threw you in here, and when I look at what you've done..." Zoe paused. She felt sorrow and looked at Dan, who was now lying motionless on the ground. "...I can more or less guess what kind of person you were above."

 

"I accept it. I was a disgusting person too, and this is where I ended up.” Licking his lips, Hadrian continued his speech with passion. “You were disgusting too, and this is where you ended up. You and I are not that different. You'll see it for yourself when you go up."

 

What she heard shook Zoe a little. She was always thinking about this possibility. What if I'm awful and deserved to be thrown in here? I feel like Cain betrayed me, but what if I truly deserved this betrayal? Hearing these thoughts aloud from Hadrian made Zoe a little sluggish. She looked at Hadrian and thought. Maybe I was just like him before I lost my memory. Maybe I was going to turn Araf into a bloodbath. Whatever Cain means to me, I mean to him.

 

Zoe canceled the magic of her still-floating katana. She sat cross-legged next to Hadrian. She was not speaking. She was just trying to think and understand everything that was said. I'm not surprised I dumped such a despicable person into the Abyss. I can't even imagine what he had done up there. Judging by the chaos he's created here, Hadrian really seems like he deserved to be thrown here. What about me? Did I really erase my memory just to survive? Or to escape what I've done?

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“Well?” said Hadrian impatiently. "Aren't you finally going to finish what you started?" When he didn't get an answer, Hadrian got a little more impatient. He would rather die as soon as possible than stand in such helplessness. He even wondered if he should provoke Zoe a little and get her to kill him quickly. This plan must have made sense to him because he began to speak.

 

“You were just like this above too. You don't have the heart to finish anything you start. You've had thousands of opportunities to kill me, and yet you threw me here. However, one move would be enough to destroy me. That's why I hated you. You could have brought the whole world to its knees, but you always chose to live like a loser.” Hadrian sounded like he was spewing his grudges. He expected what he said to drive Zoe mad with rage.

 

At this point, Zoe was unsure whether to believe Hadrian. This man could tell me a lot of made-up things just to be a jerk, she thought. He knows I don't remember my past and he can mislead me as he pleases. Although she said this to herself, some of the things Hadrian said in anger cast doubt on her mind.

 

Hadrian continued his speech. “Cain must have gotten tired of you being a loser, too. So he decided to get rid of you. Maybe at least he has enough balls to change things. You have no right to be angry with Cain. For as long as I've known you, you've been a traitor."

 

Just hearing Cain's name lit a fire inside Zoe. Who was this Cain and why did he betray me? Why did I erase everything in my mind but left Cain? Ever since Zoe had been lying at the bottom of the Abyss, these questions had been running through her mind.

 

It was Brad's voice that woke Zoe from her thoughts. “Shut up you bastard!” Brad shouted. He had been trying to control his anger at Hadrian for a long time, and he was now on his breaking point.

 

“It doesn't matter what a bastard like you thinks. If Zoe threw you in here, it must be because you were a heinous person up there too. Instead of focusing on your own character, now you're trying to drag Zoe down with you." Having said all this with anger, Brad still hadn't come to hit Hadrian. No matter how much he wanted it.

 

Trying to calm himself, Brad now turned to Zoe and began to speak. “Don't mind what this guy says. He's trying to sow a seed of doubt in you because he knows he's going to die. The Zoe we see here has nothing to do with what this guy is talking about!”

 

What Brad said had warmed Zoe's heart. It was really important for her to gain the love and respect of these people so quickly. Because, as she always repeated to herself, she owed Brad and Dan her life. Dan, I'll never be able to repay the debt I owe you, she thought. The gloom she felt because of this turned into anger. This anger devoured all her curiosity about her past.

 

She picked up the sword she carried on her back. Holding the sword with both hands, she held it to Hadrian's neck. I've heard enough of this bastard, she thought. Now is the time to silence Hadrian forever.

 

“It's not hard to understand why I've thrown you here. And you put me in the same category as yourself. We are not alike at all! Do you expect me to believe that I was a bastard like you in my past?” As she finished her sentence, Zoe raised her sword.

 

Thinking that I'm finally dying, Hadrian looked relieved. He would rather die a thousand times over living with his current state. But the sword blow he expected never came. When he looked at what was going on, he saw Brad and Zoe linking arms.

 

"Let me avenge Dan," said Brad. "Dan and Seth." Brad looked more serious than Zoe had ever seen him before. It was despairing for Zoe to see such an attitude from this sweet, cheerful man. But people were often victims of circumstances.

 

Zoe asked. "Are you sure?"

 

Brad agreed. “As I have never been before.”

 

Zoe handed the sword over to Brad without hesitation. She then gestured for him to wait and searched Hadrian. She was looking for the card they had come to get from the beginning. She found the card they'd come to get in the pocket of his clothing, which now had the sleeves cut off along with the owner's arms and had turned into a vest rather than a coat.

 

She gestured to Brad that he could now do whatever he wanted. She took one last look at Hadrian as she stood up and walked over to Dan's body.

 

“Farewell, Hadrian. You can be sure I'll find you in hell too. Just like I found you here,” she said and walked away without looking back again.

 

Hadrian seemed like he was about to say something, but his voice was suddenly cut off. This time, he was silenced for good.

 

Zoe came to Dan's side. She still had a hard time believing the grotesque sight she saw. A person should not have been killed like this.

 

“I'm sorry Dan.. I didn't repay you,” Zoe said as she stood over him. She looked like she was about to cry, but the tears didn't flow.

 

Brad came over and tapped Zoe's shoulder. "It wasn't your fault. When we decided to kill Hadrian, both Dan and I were willing to die. At least now that Hadrian's dead, Dan must be in peace." He was supposedly comforting Zoe, but he seemed to repeat those words out loud to reassure himself.

 

Zoe hugged Brad, trying to comfort him. Then the two of them talked and decided that taking Dan to Araf like this might taint his memory. It would be better if Flo and Lucy didn't see him like this.

 

They buried Dan in the grave that Zoe dug using Hadrian's glaive. They placed Dan's weapon on the ground as a tombstone. For a long time, they stood by the grave without speaking. Taking the glaive with them, they turned their backs and set out for Araf.

 

After they set off, Zoe briefly looked at the card Hadrian had stolen and quickly added it to her CyberDeck. She didn't even want to think about the card right now. All she realized was that it was a Rare card. But even that didn't cheer Zoe up.

 

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