The Spirit In Me

Chapter 18: Chapter 6. First encounter. (IV)


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"Before you do that, I have one question for you." asked the hooded figure, looking at the green, cherished ground.

"Why after all that happened, are you punishing yourself?".

Masen's eyes opened wide in shock.

"The moment you take your life as a result of their actions, you don't fix what happened. You only end your life, at what you can define, as your lowest point." said the figure in the white hoody.

"In case you do it, what will happen?" it asked curiously. The edge of his hoodie glinted for a moment in the reflected moonlight as it lifted its head slightly, revealing a small part of its smooth chin.

"You've only hurt yourself further, and let them get away with it. Do you believe that's what will teach them a lesson?" asked the figure, and even before Masen could answer, it continued and claimed –"Can you say that for sure?", a question that froze Masen in place.

"Even if you claim to know them, you don't know how they will interpret your death. Just a month ago, a man I knew committed suicide. I saw him do it. He didn't want it to be denied. What was his death to me, you ask?” the hooded figure wondered.

Masen, shivering from the cold of the night, looked piercingly at it. His body could not hide his lack of restraint to the continuousness of the figure words. Although he didn't knew who it was, he immediately gained his respected. Maybe that's the reason, it was the only one he was willing to tell what he didn't told anyone else, about his family's past. Therefore, as he waited for the answer, stormy inside his head, he was shocked by what his ears heard.

Still, it was a person he knew. That's what the mysterious figure claimed.

"Meaningless." replied the figure.

Masen, stopped in his place as if he turned to stone.

"Weak. Defeatist." The figure in the white hood continued to hit the iron.

"Don't get me wrong, if suicide is really what he wanted to do, let him do it. But, if he commits suicide only because it's the only choice he thought existed, that's sad. Life, even if sometimes it seems limited, can surprise you." The character claimed.

"There are many ways to reach one goal. But, if you don't try, how will you know?" he asked. He approached the edge of the lake, next to Masen. He too, looked at his reflection.

"On the other hand, maybe that man who killed himself knew more than I know today. Maybe I'm judging him too soon. I don't know. Right now, I'm confused enough myself. But, judging by how I felt at the time it happened, that's what it felt like. Surrender.".

"When I saw this, I wondered to myself. Is that our purpose? This? After all he went through, like this? It looked pathetic. Even pity, was hard for me to feel for him. He chose it himself. He could have chosen any other choice. So why did he choose to do this? Was it because he is a good person? Maybe because he is a weak person? Maybe because he is a smart one? I do not know. It didn't feel that way to me. To me, it felt like giving up. Giving up because it's too hard for you.

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Only the weak choose such a choice. Escape. The Last Escape.” said the figure in the hoody. Masen took his hand off his temple but still held the nail in his right hand.

"Before he did it, he told me, you are a strong person. Maybe that's why I'm here, and he's there. Because I am strong.

But, is that all there is to it? Is that all we have? be strong? I don't want to be strong. I want to be happy. How do I get there?” the figure asked in wonder.

"Sometimes, it seems impossible. But, other times I have a feeling that is hard to explain in words, a feeling that tells me how I should act. I tend to pin my hopes on it. May it be the one who guides me to happiness.

It tells me, don't give in to the thought that tells you to let go.

Fight for what you believe is right.

Fight for what you would like it to be, even if it's hard. So, in my way. I fight.” The mysterious figure concluded as it walks away from the edge of the lake and stands a few meters away, back to back to Masen.

"I will not prevent you from doing so. The choice is yours. But, what will you choose? Will you give up or will you fight?" asked the mysterious figure, as it disappeared into the night air right after.

Masen looked amazed into the night. Gazing at the moon, the direction the figure flew at.

He looked back at the water. He saw his father's figure once more looking at him. He opened his palm and dropped the nail from it as he bowed his head down.

"You left so fast… that I didn't get to thank you..." Masen gently whispered as he got back to his feet.

After a few days, a newspaper fell on the floor.

"No.. that's not what I wanted... that's not what you meant..." The shocked person claimed, walking away with a choked throat.

A large picture of the murder scene was on the front page of the newspaper. In the photo, a man covered in blood raised his hands in surrender to the city police. His name - Itan Masen.

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