Chapter 44: Chapter 11. Dot’s memory (V)

Looking at the floor with his hair covering his face, Loy walked slowly towards his house.

Every few steps, there was a drop shattering on the floor.

He continued to walk for a long time. The sun had already set when he was shedding tears all the way to his home.

In the dark, the door to Loy's house opened.

Loy's mother, Kali, who was in the living room, could see the door open but no one stepped inside.

"Aber?" Kali asked in confusion, wondering if Loy's father came home. But there was no answer.

She watched the door apprehensively as she cautiously moved towards it. She slightly regretted not having it locked, but it befits a town like theirs.

When she reached the front door, she saw Loy standing there with his face to the wooden floor. Tears falling from his eyes and crashing to the floor with the green diamond in his chest exposed for all to see.

"Loy?! What happened to you?!" she wondered in a panic.

He stood there, disconnected from reality. She could see the sadness radiating from him.

She stopped in her tracks as she looked at him divided.

"Loy… what am I doing?" she struggled with immense pressure.

The tears from Loy continued to flow in front of her as he did not respond. Doubtfully he even noticed that she was standing in front of him. She approached him cautiously.

"Loy?" she asked apprehensively as she looked at him with concern.

"I'm sorry... I know you're going through a difficult life..." she apologized in her head as she's filled with sudden emotion. She took one step slowly towards him.

"Really... that I would like to be there for you... I really do...!" she cried as she struggled to get close to him. Walking slowly, she forced her body to step forward with all her might. Her steps were heavy, carrying the massive weights of emotions equivalent to hundreds of kilograms.

"But..!" she called in her head as she was close to tear up as well, trying to keep the tears inside.

"I can't pretend...!" she cried in bitter agony as she took another step.

A teardrop fell into the air.

A tear from her cheek.

"I can't forget what you-...!" she stubbornly gritted her teeth, giving her all although being split in her feelings.

Loy's eyes opened wide. She hugged him lightly in her arms.

Her hug momentarily brought him out of the trance he was in.

It had been so many years since she had last hugged him that he couldn't remember how it felt anymore.

The surprising hug helped him. It calmed and comforted him.

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He raised his hands and hugged her back, closing his eyes. He concentrated on his mother's embrace, which conveyed a nostalgic feeling to the past when she used to do this all the time when he was a little boy.

But a moment later, his eyes slowly opened. The cold and depressed look that had filled them before was revealed in them again.

"How can I be comforted by this..." he thought to himself with a dejected emptiness in his eyes. The embrace of his hands was gentle, almost not touching his mother's back. Feeling her sensation, it was so powerful that he could see into her skeleton as if she was made out of nothing but bones.

"When you too... just want to run away..." he realized in gloomy sadness.

From Loy's back, Kali's horrified gaze was revealed as she hugged him back with her eyes wide open in terror. Tears of fear flowed down her stunned face. Her lips were twisted in a suffering and strained look.

"What am I...?" he wondered.

"A hug shouldn't be like that.

How do they see me?" he asked himself depressed.

"Are you deaf or stupid?" the other inner voice asked him with chilling indifference. "A Monster. Take it for what it is." He said coldly and disinterestedly.

Shivering, she pulled away from him a little, giving him his space as she moved slightly to the side.

"Thank you..." he thanked her as he wiped a little his tears. His mother cleared the way for him when he went up to his room.

As soon as he was out of sight, Kali collapsed to the floor and clutched her mouth as she stopped her loud cry from erupting.

"What kind of mother am I...?" she thought as she cried a heavy, quiet cry.

Loy laid on his bed. His hair on his face as he was holding the left side of his chest. Holding tight, he felt his heart shrink to the point that it could disappear and never be healed again.

"All these years alone... got me thinking... have I drifted so far that I can never come back?".

"How different am I from others? Will the gap between us can be bridged or will I never be a part of them?'' he wondered sorrowful.

"Never." answered the other voice inside of him.

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Lin went into her home and laid down on her bed. She looked at the ceiling and the sight of Loy and the diamond in his chest flashed into her memory.

She put her thin fingers over her eyes as she tried to concentrate on the sight she was seeing, surrounded by the harsh feeling around her.

"I don't know what's going on here." she said clueless.

"On one hand, I see him with the stone in his chest... Just thinking about it makes me want to run away and never see him again...".

"But... at the same time I feel a sad feeling. So... So sad..." she wondered as she remembered Loy's shocked face. As she tried to fall asleep, she couldn't avoid but asked herself.

"Why?".

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