Chapter 18: 7.1

Chapter 7.1. For Me

I stared at myself in the mirror.

Because I rarely went outside, my skin was as white as a ghost. And now, I wore a dress that was as white as it was.

“Oh, you are so beautiful! You look like a swan soaring over the snow! Even the sun that shines on you will be jealous of your beauty and lose its shine!”

And it was a familiar tailor who complimented me through her ample vocabulary.

She was there to make final adjustments to her almost-finished wedding dress.

Mother, the maids, and even Dana had gathered to cheer at the results.

I was satisfied with the beauty of the dress to the extent that my mouth slackened into a grimace, even as I let the endless compliments flow from right to left.

All that was left to do was to fill in the waist a little, and to my chagrin, the chest, and wait for the completion. I had to make sure I didn’t gain weight.

I heard that Stanley had a black tuxedo ready for him.

I tried to imagine it. The two of us standing side by side in our black and white dresses and tuxedos was a little more vivid than I had imagined the day we got engaged.

As the fever that I had been running the other day subsided, so did my euphoria, and I was finally able to think seriously about the future.

Marriage, in my opinion, was like trading half of your life for the other half. Half the good, half the bad.

If Stanley did a good deed, it enriched my life, and if I embarrassed myself, it embarrassed Stanley.

I wondered if there was anything good about me that could help Stanley, since I had been living my life as I pleased for myself.

After seeing the tailor off at the door, I headed to the study room with Dana to study for the afternoon.

Dana has been in a good mood these days. I guess it’s because I was taking my studies seriously.

I had to do my best. That’s what I’ve been saying lately.

I had to do my best not to be a burden to Stanley.

As I walked with renewed energy, I saw a familiar back figure in front of the study room door.

That dark blond with the single hair tie was Stanley.

He was standing in the middle of the corridor, looking down at a stack of papers and envelopes in his hands, which was unusual for him.

“Stanley.”

He didn’t seem to notice me when I approached him, so I called out his name.

He huffed and looked up, then smiled at me, eyebrows drooping.

“What’s up?”

I wondered if he had something to do with me, stopping all the way here, but he didn’t seem to.

“No, I’m sorry. I just got lost in my thoughts and got lost in a daze.”

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“…Oh, really?”

As he replied, I stepped closer than usual, grabbed his jacket collar to prevent him from running away, and looked into his face.

It’s hard to see in the shadows cast by his slightly longer bangs, but there were dark circles around his eyes.

“Are you okay?”

I reached out my finger to Stanley’s eyes, who tilted his head. When I traced the dark circles, I saw a rare look of slight dismay on his face.

“You look even worse than usual.”

There was no reply. He stared at my face, his eyes still round.

“Stanley?”

His fingers touched my hand. I thought he was going to push me away, but he wrapped me in his big warm hand.

“I’m a little… tired.”

He pressed his cheek against the palm of my hand. His beard seemed to have grown a little longer. That’s unusual for him. And to touch me like this.

Soon my hand was free and Stanley smiled his usual face.

‘…But it’s all right. When I saw My Lady’s face, all my tiredness vanished.”

That smile made my hand, which had touched him without thinking out of the usual habit, even hotter now.

But don’t let that fool you.

It was a state of emergency that Stanley was so weak and tired. It was as if the sky was falling.

I was about to ask him how long he hadn’t slept, but it was Stanley who spoke up first.

“Are you doing well in your bridal training?”

He asked, his gaze on Dana behind me. She narrowed her eyes and nodded a few times.

“Yes, she’s been doing very well lately.”

It was a rare compliment. I looked back at Stanley, wondering how he was doing.

“I’ve  been keeping up with my business administration classes.”

“…Business administration?”

Stanley asked back with a quizzical voice.

I don’t know if I’ve ever told him that.

“It’s a good idea to have a good understanding of the basics of business since I am going to be a merchant’s wife. I’m not trying to tell you how to run your business, so don’t worry.”

I looked into Stanley’s bewildered face.

“If I knew just the basics, I might be able to understand what you’re working on and how difficult it is. Then I could even listen to your problems.”

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