Chapter 2: My Unforgotten Past that still resides in my stupid Brain

What am I talking about? Revenge you asked? Well..Stay tuned,

my beautiful past that I can still remember until today is coming....

hehehe..

I'll briefly explain why I can't trust most people and why I hate them, especially girls.

 I woke up from this body eight years ago, I was 10 years old and don't have any memories on what happened to me for the past ten years of my life. So basically I am a baby back then with a ten year old body, without knowing anything and not knowing what happened to me in that 10 years of my life.

 My father said that I and my mother got caught up in a car accident and as a result, my mother passed away and I lost my memories. My father was always nice to me and was always been by my side that I lost the consideration to think of anything else.

 I'm not sad on the news that my mother passed away because I don't exactly know what to feel because I have no memories of her. 

Although I don't have memories, I can speak and write naturally.

**Two years since the day I woke up from this body of mine**

 I finally managed to adapt to the world. Unfortunately, my father passed away because of heart attack and that's where the start of my horrible life.

 I was adopted by the woman who I thought was my aunty. I don't really expect them to take care of me but they did take care of me as if I was their son.

 But then, half a month since I started living with them when I heard aunty and uncle fighting with each other.

"Hey! Are we seriously going to feed his son, Arnold? Ah, right. He's not even his son to begin with."

"Carla, didn't we already talked about this, I promise to him that I will take care of him?"

"Yeah, yeah, but he's becoming a burden to us!---"

"---Why did you even promise to your colleague doctor that?!"

"Sigh* Let's stop this, we're not going anywhere with this conversation over and over."

Uncle Arnold left the house and didn't come back at home for a few days after that.

Whenever Uncle Arnold is not around, I'm getting beaten by aunty Carla as if she's releasing her stress to me. I endured the pain and let it passed because I thought that would make her happy.

 I am getting feed by her, so I just let her do what she wants with me, but it didn't just stop there, my hate towards girls just grew up more.

When I became a first year Junior High school student, I am somewhat not motivated to do anything anymore, Until when a girl suddenly approached me.

"Hello?"

A beautiful girl elegantly waved her hand at me. she pulled a chair in front of me and sat there while staring at me.

If I have to describe her, She has a figure of a matured girl, her long eye lashes is captivating; She has a big breasts and a good figure that everyone would want to look at.

Well.. I have to admit that I'm still an Idiot back then, I fell in love with her just by seeing her perfect body and face, It's what you called "love at first sight."

I was stunned and not even letting go of the opportunity to stare at her.

"Hello? Matsuki?"

"H-hello" I flushed and stuttered.

"It's been a long time" 

"It's been a long time?" I unintentionally let out.

What did she mean by that? It's my first time talking to her.

"We're classmates in grade school you know. Did you already forgot me? You're mean!"

She pouted and turn her face sideways; she stood and about to leave but an idiot like me doesn't want to lose the opportunity to be friends with a beautiful girl.

"No! of course not!"

Feeling flustered, I searched into my memory hurriedly to know what's her name and was able to 

to remember her name is Shira. Of course I don't know a single thing about her, I still don't remember a thing about my ten years life before. I just remembered her name is Shira because she introduced herself before on our first day.

"Shira!" I pulled her hand, 

"It's you, hehehe.. It's been a long time, sorry I didn't notice it because you've became a beauty."

Feeling nervous and embarrassed I just laughed at my desperate ways to keep on contact with her.

She smiled and we've become friends.

That is the start of my days that I still regret doing until to this day. I shouldn't have done that, if only I know that I'll regret it, I would've refrain myself...

***

It's been a month since Shira and I became friends.

She is beautiful as always. Everyone was staring at us and they seems so jealous because Shira and I are eating together at our classroom.

I was really head over heels in love with her that I wish to spend all of my time with her. The reason why I am still going to school was also because of her.

And so we continue to hangout.

I wasn't able to suppress my feelings and so I confessed to her.

She gladly accept my confession and we started dating.

Oh yeah... just thinking about it is making me sick!..

We've become intimate with each other to the extent where I can finally hold her hand without getting conscious.

She said we can't do any more than that because we're still young and I simply agreed to her because she's right.

I was really in bliss back that I can even do everything without getting tired because my motivation is love!

Yeah those day's are really such a good days, if only it was like that but...

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My aunty is still beating me that I received some things that still remains until today, I have scratch and bruises around my back, and a scar on my wrist.

Well, an in love person can get by, as long as I have a girl like Shira I'll be fine.  

That's what I really thought before, but when my aunty asked me to buy some stuffs. I walked into an alley, it's a shortcut, so I used it to finish her errands as soon as possible, but what I saw there was really shocking and unsightly thing I've ever seen.

I slowly walked in and saw a guy and a girl, fucking at the corner of the Alley.

"Ahh!! Harder! Harder! uhmm.hmm!..Ahh!"

I heard a female's voice that seems to be in bliss.

"Here comes my blow!"

Said the guy while shoving her ass . They're like a dog in heat.

The hell? They're doing it outside! Are they nuts?

I just brushed them off and continues to walk as if I can't see them but then, They turned around and I saw the face of the girl and the guy.

"Huh? Matsuki"

I was close enough to get out of the Alley when a familiar voice called me.

Feeling confused 'how did she know my name? I once again looked at them from afar.

I saw the whole thing, he's fucking the girl's ass while every part of her body is being seen, but that's not what shocked me the most.

The girl that was in bliss was Shira.

"S-shira??" 

....

"Oh! you know each other?" asked the guy.

"Uhhmm....Ahhh..Y-yess!!..Ahh!... Matsuki-kun this is.. Ahh!"

Felling confused and surprised, I lost my balance and felt my body becomes numb.

"S-shira...?

"I guess we have to stop it for now." Shira wear her clothes and came near me, I don't know what to do, I felt like my heart has become heavy and it's throbbing really fast.

"Ah..* Sigh* How unlucky to be seen by him, I'm busted now. It's your fault Hojiro!" She pointed her hand at the guy and yelled.

"Shira, what's the meaning of this? Didn't you said we're still young to be doing something like that?!"

"Ha! Don't nag at me! It's annoying!" Sigh* she rubbed her head "You're such a pain, there's no way I'll explain it to you, But I guess you need to know that I'm just playing with you.." 

"P-playing?" I held her hand and asked "What's the meaning of this? Did he forced you to do this? If that's it, then I'll protect you so don't worry!" Feeling hopeful that she didn't do it in her own volition, I stood and held her hands tightly.

"Sigh.. You really don't get it, do you? I said I was just playing with you! Who would want to go out with someone like you? You smell and You're ugly!"

"Huh?" Feeling perplexed, I felt like my body has received some chills and I felt my heart has started to ached.

"I just dated you because I heard that you lost your memories, we're not even friends in grade school, I actually hate you because you ruin my reputation back then!"

What is she talking about?..

"Hojiro, beat him up! I'll be going now." She got her bag and leave.

"Okay." Said the guy and came to me.

He punched my face as soon as he got close to me. I received it and felt numb, I actually didn't felt what he did. I don't know if it's because I've acquired some endurance from being beaten by my aunty or because I was too shoked on what I've heard.

He beat me up until he's satisfied and left me at the Alley.

I went home and got beaten by my aunty because the stuff I bought are either broken or have some scratch.

I locked myself at my room, my aunty and uncle was always asking me to come out, but I didn't listen to them.

I locked myself for almost two weeks and then, while browsing at the phone that Uncle gave me, I found an article about some motivation. "If the world is fucked up then just fuck yourself"

The hell? I laughed and laughed but it follows some tears. I did try to just laid down on my bed.

And then I found another article.

"Life is just like a Ferris wheel

if someone doesn't do anything out of ordinary or doesn't change the flow, it will be just the same

just like the ferris wheel, hiding it's instability, it slowly continues to turn. instead of making any progress, it simply goes around in circles. eventually, it's just all pointless, So why don't you become someone that is not a Ferris wheel? Is there something you want to do?

If there is, You have to do something you've never did, to get something you never have."

I felt like that the article is very reasonable. 

That's where I started working for myself.

I get out of my room and feel the unpleasant world.

I studied, work out and do everything to change myself.

When I become 16, An unknown girl claimed that she's my sister, and got me out of my aunty, and from Visayas, I came to Manila with her. She's nice and gentle, but she's not living with me, she only supported me financially, that was nice of her but I still worked from time to time. I enrolled in a prestigious school to see if I can do something interesting there and that's now.

l become a second year, and spend of my time alone because I don't interact with people unless it's necessary..

I can't really bear just having a conversation with people but as time passed by, I can finally do it.

Still, I avoided people from time to time and before I know it, I become alone. But being alone doesn't mean I'm lonely.

...

And now I can take my revenge at girl, And the first one who will experience my rage is Kira, it's her fault for approaching me and thank you for giving me this opportunity. "Hahah..."I laughed like an absurd one would do and left my house. I headed to school.

"Let's start!"

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