Chapter 6: Volume 1 - CH 7

 

Our school classes are divided in three groups: Honors, Advanced, and Regular.

In the first week of school, the entire Year 1 is given an entrance test. The school arranges all students into classes ABCDEF, according to our scores. An experienced professor was assigned to each class as homeroom teacher.

Honors A and B's homeroom teacher was the Assistant Head of Year 1. Advanced C and D's was a Department Head, and the Regular E and F's was a normal, but above-average teacher.

Shiyi High claims that all classes are equally funded, and that they don't prefer any class in particular.

But in reality, not only do the teachers drastically vary in quality for each class, even the exams are different for each division.

Naturally, Jiang Muqing was in Class A. And I was in the school's rock-bottom Class F.

Education officials were extremely skeptic of this layout. They thought that all students' classes should be equally broken down, so that it was more just and fair. The media criticized our school often.

However, our school principal always shuts them up with the same line:

"Why should we sell gemstones and pebbles in the same pile?"

The competition in the higher classes was completely insane. Everyone was on edge 24-7, and were always wary of people trying to surpass them. At the same time, they strived their hardest to outpace the students above them. That group of people were constantly under enormous pressure.

Someone with Guotong's mentality, could never be at a place like that.

If he were to study hard every single day, with his skills, he'll enter Class A in no time. But he chooses not to, and has his own reason.

He simply couldn't endure that strange atmosphere.

If Guotong were to sleep in class every day, he'll definitely be treated as a freak, and become really lonely.

Of course, there are people who don't think that way. Like me.

To others, Class A may seem like hell. But to me, who's been working hard his whole life, that place would be heaven.

A foot in a top high school equals a foot in college. A foot in Advanced Class equals the second foot, stepping into the gates of university.

I stood by Class A's homeroom, observing.

If I could see her sitting safely at her desk, I'll be satisfied. I could let go of my darkest fear.

But I couldn't see Jiang Muqing at all. However, the first seat at the first row was empty.

I felt a chill down my back.

Right now, everyone should be studying ardently before class started. But no one in Class A even touched their books.

Most of the girls leaned on their desks, some weeping quietly.

The guys' heads were lowered, and didn't say anything. Some stared at the wall absentmindedly.

The atmosphere was queer and bizarre.

The homeroom teacher, Year 1's Assistant Principal, strode into the room with a serious look. His deep voice blackened the mood further.

"Even though she wasn't in this school for long, we all have a personal connection to Classmate Jiang Muqing. She studied in Class A along with everyone else, and is a member of our Class A family…."

"…. She unfortunately passed away last night, and the school has contacted her parents. However short time she was with us all in this class, I know that all of us had already sown the seeds of friendship in her heart."

"I plead for all of us to remember the days she was in Class A."

Then, the Assistant Head relaxed his tightly-knit brows.

"Alright, now everyone please open your textbooks, and flip to page 134. Last class, we discussed…."

The students stowed their emotions, and cracked their books.

Everyone returned to their normal statures. They listened to the teacher in focus, gripping their pencils and notes. Each of them gave their utmost attention to the blackboard, not leaving out a single word uttered by the professor.

It was as if nothing happened. It was as if nobody sat at the desk before, as if Jiang Muqing never existed.

Their fates had broken away from Jiang Muqing with a simple snap by the Assistant Head. They looked flawless, unmoved.

I believe that their mouths will never utter Jiang Muqing's name ever again.

Because nobody could have possibly formed bonds with her.

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Classmate, pupil, friend…. lover?

Could relationships really be so slim and delicate?

Everyone is like a pebble in the sea. Nobody will care whether you've washed on shore, easing in the warm sunlight, or sunk to the bottom, into the infinite darkness.

Glass is a perfect example. They aren't anything but dull grains of sand at the beginning. But if they all bond together, they would form the most beautiful, translucent structures.

If these people would have shown a bit more care towards Jiang Muqing, she wouldn't have died.

But of course, I was held liable as well.

"Liar…. I…. Clearly don't have any hope left for this world…."

She pleaded to me, tears streaming down her face.

The sentence echoed in my brain.

Her outstretched arms, sinking into the earth, was slapped away by my ignorance.

Jesus, I shouldn't have said anything, I should've just hugged her!

All she probably wanted was just a hug!

"What the fuck did I do!"

I punched the wall in remorse.

Looks like I'm the real culprit here….

"Ring ring ring—"

The bell signaled that the first period was starting.

My body lost all strength. I felt weightless.

I stumbled towards my class' wooden door. But after a few steps, I collapsed. Writhing frantically, I tried to get up, but my limbs wouldn't listen to my commands.

…..

My head hurts so much.

Is it because of my blanket?

I wanted to die of heat.

Did I forget to turn on the AC?

I opened my eyes. My bedroom was eerily quiet.

My back was incredibly stiff, and I only managed to sit up after a minute of fidgeting.

"Sleep paralysis?"

I exhaled, leaning against the wall.

How long did I sleep?

My alarm clock showed it was only 5 AM. There was still a while before school started, but I didn't even think of going back to bed.

I took a cold shower, rinsing the sweat from my body. Then, I walked in the kitchen, and ate some toast along with last night's leftovers.

Was that really a dream?

How did it feel so real?

In my memory, it was as if it just happened.

My addled mind only wanted to confirm one thing.

…..

"Jiang Muqing, don't do anything rash. Please, I beg you!"

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