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He used to love dreaming. Closing his eyes and seeing everything he would never have. All the things he wanted, right in front of him. When he was a kid it was candy, toys and his parents showing him they loved him. As he turned into a teen he saw a life without pain, him on an endless field, freed from his demons, the drugs and the pain, simply standing there, looking at the sky. He didn't feel pain nor fear. His dreams were a beautiful escape and sometimes, as the cold of the winter would almost kill him on the road, he would dream while he was still awake.
A snowman, a christmas tree and a warm meal. All the little lights and the softness of the carpet on the floor. Maybe even a little present, wrapped in shiny paper, bright red with a green bow on top. His dreams always had such lovely music and sometimes he could even smell them. Hot chocolate, soup and maybe his mum's perfume. All mixing together into his own little paradise.
John always found an escape in his dreams. Every night as he laid down, on his small racing car bed, or the bench at the park and then the old metal bed of his apartment, he waited for his travel to the dreamland, soft and sweet. A smile would linger on his lips that would sadly always disappear when he would wake up. It had always been like this. The moment he closed his eyes his world was always better and when he would pass out, in the brim of death something deep inside him wished that he would stay like this. Stuck in an eternal dream.
He was pitiful. He knew that so well but still he didn't share that side of his with anyone. He preferred to smile, play dump and let life pass him by. It was easier that way. It hurt less than thinking of all his mistakes, of all the things he had missed.
The night before his birthday though, as he laid on the bed of the small motel he didn't have a nice dream. It was the first time that his little escape was crumbling. As if it was a house ruined by a typhoon he couldn't find comfort in a made up lie of his subconsciousness anymore. He twisted and turned, thirsty and sweating.
He saw a face, a figure that made his heart race and his thoughts lit up, like a raging fire. Even when he was sleeping he was thinking about him and that was simply depressing.
John woke up the next morning. Remembering very well who he had dreamed of, knowing how the sound of his voice echoed in the walls of his dreams and all the things he wished to hear. He smiled bitterly, clenching his fist, the sheets a mess on his feet and he touched his neck, feeling the sweat.
"You're so unlucky." John mumbled to himself as he looked at his lap, tears swelling in his eyes.
He turned twenty today. He became officially a full fledged werewolf, even though he had just been for about a week one. The young man didn't have a storm of memories raging inside of him. He had been turned which meant that only one thing lingered painfully on his heart.
He punched the bed, a groan escaping his lips at the realization of what was happening in his life.
"You're stupid. You're so stupid." he told himself, his tears landing on the sheets as he mourned the freedom of his heart. There was no going back, he was truly doomed. It had been decided by that power that was called fate and he would have just to bear the burden of keeping this a secret too. He had to bury it, as soon as it surfaced he had to hide it, the love that was blooming in his chest, a suffocating flower, rooting and spreading like a disease. "I can't…" he cried as he hid his face with his hands and wailed.
A knock was heard on his door, his head snapping and he immediately wiped his tears, jumping off the bed and rushing to the door, opening it to see his boss, holding a cupcake with a small green candle on it. The flame flickered as he opened the door and was blown off.
"Shit." Kai swore. "Happy Birthday!" He exclaimed and stared at John with a huge smile.
"Thank you boss." he said. As Kai walked into his room he suddenly felt at ease. How many years had passed since someone wished him a happy birthday? He wondered and his eyes landed on the cute cupcake with the pink glaze.
"Sorry, the candle just died on me. But you should make a wish. It's important." he told him and the short haired man chuckled, closing his eyes. What should he wish for? He asked himself and then a thought popped into his mind.
"Please, let everyone be happy." he whispered inside him and opened his eyes. "Done!" he said out loud and Kai handed him the cupcake.
"It's yours. Sorry it's not anything fancy." he apologized and John shook his head. This was a lot more than he usually had.
"Thank you. It's perfect. Exactly my style." he said and Kai sat on the bed.
"So, it's a big day today." he told him with a playful smile. "Spill it."
"Spill what?"
"Who is it? Who is your mate?" Kai asked, looking like a schoolgirl asking her friend who was her crush. John wanted to laugh but couldn't. How could he when he couldn't even dare to think of his name.
"Oh, about that. I don't know yet." he lied and scratched the back of his head, a shy smile on his lips. "Well, I have a full day so maybe it will happen later?"
"Hmm." Kai hummed, rubbing his chin. "I don't really know how it works with turned vampires. But if you find out you will have to come to me. We will find them immediately." he said in excitement and John nodded, a fake smile on his face.
How could he tell him? How could he tell his boss that his mate was Soran?
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