Chapter 127: 126

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It was a very cruel irony. The fact that he was made to not feel the cold but somehow he felt like he was freezing to death. Laid on the bloody bed, his blue eyes stuck on the white ceiling he fixated his look on the flinching lamp, thoughts traveling from his mind and landing like arrows on his shattered heart. 

Such a sudden end, such a horrid disappointment. Kai was not expecting any of this. He had always known he was unlucky, not favored by the gods but this, this was another level. He almost believed he was hated. The handsome prince sat up, his eyes wide as he thought of what happened. He tried to imagine Philip's expression, hear his angered voice, see him swear at him, wish for his death and run away. His chest tightened, as if someone was grabbing on his withered heart and he took a deep breath. 

Kai began laughing. Dry and deranged tears was escaping from his eyes while in the room echoed the sounds of his insanity. He wasn't looking at anything, he wasn't thinking of anything. All he could do was feel and feel hurt. The beating of his heart was unbearable and he punched his chest, gripping on his shirt as the sound of his laughter reminded him how twisted he was.

"This is all your fault!" He told himself. 

He wanted to scream, shout, and punish himself for being such a fool. Being hopeful being an idiot that believed in second chances. Who would stay after they heard they were murdered? Who would believe him? Who would look at him in the eyes and not think of him as a monster. "This is all your fault!" he screamed and his long fingers dived in his silk hair, pulling them. His tears were toxic, burning his skin as they trailed painful paths. He was looking at the floor, trapped in his own mind, tortured by his own guilt when he felt someone grab his hands, stopping him from hurting himself. 

"Enough, stop this." Lun told him while John stood by his side. The werewolf had run off, scared about his boss and had brought everyone. Telling them what had happened while they were away. 

Xan and Soran stood at the door frame. His brother was staring at him with wide eyes while his friend had a pained expression on his face. No one had been there, no one had seen what happened the last time. They knew Kai, they knew him as a prince, as a free spirit, as a royal and as a man who had run away from his guilt. They didn't know that side of his, the broken one, the one that tried to drown the pain with twisted smiles. The dark side of the man who wished he was never born. The one regretting ever falling in love at all. 

Kai looked up, seeing how his best friend still held his wrists, his eyes swelling with tears, his bottom lip trembling as he tried to find something to say. 

"Don't do this to yourself anymore."

"He left." Kai mumbled. "He found out. He found out and he left me! It's my fault. It's all my fault!" he cried out loud, falling from the bed he was sitting and landing on his knees, his pants touching the dirty floor. 

"We will find him, we will talk to him." Lun said. Kai's head was snatched up, his blue eyes wide, crazy as he shook his head in denial. 

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"No…no…he won't believe me. He won't hear me out. I…I can't even explain. He…he is gone." he said in between his tears and he clearly heard Lun sigh, his eyes closed as he tried to think of a solution. 

John stared at his boss, being buried into his own pain, his heart aching just by the sight when he felt someone push him to the side. He turned his head, his eyes meeting with Soran. 

"Move." the tall vampire told him coldly as he approached Kai. Yes, he had to face that too, he had to always remember it, live with it but for now, he couldn't hurt more, he just wanted to help Kai. His head fell, feeling as if he was going to start crying too and he stepped to the side, letting Soran get to his friend. 

The white haired man crouched to the floor, reaching Kai's eye level and with a gentle smile he wiped his tears. 

"Take a deep breath." he said, his tone calm. "Take a deep breath and try to calm down. We will figure a way out of this. Philip loves you. You just need to calm down and everything will happen. We will just have to think of a plan. Okay?" Soran asked him and hugged Kai tightly, closing him in his arms even though he didn't get an answer. 

All Kai was doing was crying, he couldn't stop the upcoming tears even if he wanted to. Everything that had been bottled up inside of him all this time, all the pain, all the worry and all that love he had wanted to give to Philip had turned into weapons, wanting to hurt him. He felt as if he couldn't breathe, his body colsh, he was shivering. 

"It's all my fault." Kai cried, again he shouted, buried into Soran's embrace, his hands gripping the vampire as if he was gripping dear life and everyone that surrounded the prince looked depressed, buried into deep thought, searching for a way to fix this mess. 

"You really are pathetic." Xan said, drawing everyone's attention and Lun stared at him with wide eyes.

"Do you really have to…"

"Shit up pest." Xan said and moved towards his younger brother.. He pushed Soran away, exposing the blonde vampire to everyone and he raised his head, forcing him to look at him. "Your fault? You think that idiot's death was your fault? Then how about I tell your dear friends what happened and then they will know if it was your fault or not?" 

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