Chapter 167: 166

John could only describe in one way how he felt once Soran's words reached him. The young werewolf felt like a glass, fragile and shining. This little glass was placed on a table with a bright red cover beneath it. Then someone, thinking it would be funny, grabbed the table sheet, thinking he could slip it underneath the little glass without breaking it. 

Sadly though that person had failed and the little glass had fallen down and shattered into thousands of pitiful shards. John had been both, the little glass that ceased to exist anymore and the man that dragged the table cloth, bringing his own doom. 

You should have kept your mouth shut, you pushed it too much! His consciousness shouted in between his ears while he stood in front of Soran, frozen and ready to burst into tears.

"I thought I made it clear previously when you told me you liked me but John, I, don't like you." The white haired vampire repeated, stabbing his heart once more to make sure he was going to properly finish him.

John's face dropped, his eyes, glazed with fresh tears, looked at the floor as he was trying to grab any word from the sea that was messing up his mind and bring it to his lips. Only chaos ruled on his body.

"I...I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I think there is a misunderstanding…" John said, unable to face him. He hoped he would be able to slither away from this situation once more, and find a way to bury this embarrassing moment because if this kept going he didn't know what he could do with himself.

"There is no misunderstanding John, I know very well. It's obvious from the way you look at me. I tried to be nice to you…" Soran said. His words felt everything other than nice. His tone was cold, his eyes glued on him but no kindness was mirrored in them. He wasn't sure if this was the side effects of the mating or maybe him being fed up with the young werewolf and that was the most confusing part. He wanted to believe that he could make things change but at the same time, a whisper always bothered him, a voice coming from behind telling him it was pointless.

"Please don't." John interrupted him. "I'm sorry but I don't want to hear what you have to say. It's... It's...a little bit too harsh for me right now." The young werewolf said while his eyes were pinned to the floor. If he looked at Soran, how handsome he was, how he loved his face, everything about him even when he was being mean he would break. He didn't want to start crying or seem fragile in front of him. People knowing how affected he was by their words was one of his most horrible nightmares. "I didn't want to bother you." He said and gently left the piece of paper on the chair he was sitting on, letting go of the pencil too. "I've created a rather uncomfortable situation and I apologize. I would like to go now. Don't worry, I won't bother you any longer."

John didn't really wait to hear Soran's reply, he didn't want to and he felt even more bad with himself since he was running away. He turned his back on the white haired vampire, his head dropping once more and rushed towards the closed door. The handle felt cold under his touch and as he twisted it and opened the door a creaking sound was heard. Soran did not attempt to stop him nor did he say anything. The werewolf maybe wanted him to but that thought had been buried deep into his mind, he couldn't have another failed episode.

The white haired vampire was left alone in a room that wasn't even his own. His crossed his arms over his chest, looking around the room while this peculiar feeling that had caused him to say everything subsided. It was as if his head was clearing up from a fog and he frowned, slowly realizing the events that took place while John was here.

"What the…" Soran mumbled and looked at the closed door. Should he go after him? He wondered but he didn't move. Maybe it was better this way. He didn't know what he should say to John, just an apology wasn't enough but at the same time he couldn't accept his feelings. 

He shook his head, confused with his own self and rubbed his temples when his eyes accidentally landed on the sketch. It stood there, lonely and left alone on top of the chair. John was sitting there with the most adorable smile a few seconds ago. His words had been so sweet and now that he was by himself he couldn't help but feel moved by them. He smiled as he extended his arm and took a hold of the cheap paper. The sketch hadn't been cleared but John's skill was obvious even through the messy lines..

His eyes widened a bit. He was shocked at how beautifully he had drawn him. It was as if that person wasn't him but someone who looked ten times more kind and beautiful. Was this how Soran appeared before John's eyes, the vampire thought and bit his lip concerned.

He didn't want to upset him, he didn't want to shut down that caring side of his, he didn't know why he was acting so cold one time and then he was nice. They were better ways to handle things, he was good at applying better ways, he wasn't like Lun or Kai but for some reason at the moment he seemed unable too.

The sketch still in his hands he sat on the bed, sighing, his eyes examining it again and again. John was truly a kind person, someone Soran would believe it would be hard to find in BloodBound and maybe even the human world. He was nice, caring and loyal. He seemed as if he was a bit of a coward but at the same time brave. 

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He wasn't like Lun who didn't seem to falter at anything or Kai who always knew how to trick people to get what he wanted. He wasn't even like Soran who many times he had faked his kindness but never with him.

Being kind to John was something that came to him easily, as naturally as he breathed and that was the reason why he hated the fact that the last few days he has been cruel to him. His words were unforgivable, his looks, the way he pushed him away. He shook his head again, disappointed with his own self and the thought of going after him passed again in his mind.

"No, you'll just make things worse." He told himself but once more he looked at the sketch. The drawing of him that didn't feel like him. "He sees me like that" Soran said and a heavy sigh escaped his lips. He stood up, folding the piece of paper and placing it in his pocket thinking he didn't want to lose it. "Let's go, I guess."

He was going to go after him. He had reached that decision rather easily. He wanted to apologize, he couldn't bear the thought of John thinking about him as mean. 

He opened the door and his eyes looked left and right, a wonder as to where he should go. He tried to go right first, thinking that this was John's room. He had no idea where the little wolf would be going, maybe to Kai, that was a possibility and Kai's room was to the right. 

Soran was worried that John might leave, then he wouldn't be able to find him and with everyone around apologizing would be difficult. Thankfully all the unlucky thoughts he made turned out to be untrue because the young werewolf was just a few meters and a turn away from him.

He had nowhere to go, leaving his room in such a hurry wasn't probably the best idea but he couldn't turn back now. Being all alone in this narrow corridor he felt like he could take a breath for a second. His body slid on the wall as he sat on the uncleaned floor, his arms resting on his knees. He had tried really hard not to cry while he had been with Soran and he had succeeded but now that he was alone he felt like letting go was a reward. 

John still didn't cry loudly, he didn't wish to attract any attention but small tears were finally allowed to drip from his face and fall down. He was looking at them, drop by drop as he thought of everything he did wrong. Too occupied by his own thoughts he didn't heard the footsteps, he simply felt a hand on his shoulder, surprising him and he looked up, his eyes wide when he came face to face with Soran.

He jumped up, wiping his eyes as fast as he could, violently making the area around them to turn red.

"Don't do that." Soran said and stopped him by gently grabbing his arm and pushing it down. "It will irritate your eyes."

"I...what are you doing here?" John asked. "I won't bother you any longer. I won't be a problem so please can you stop being so cruel to me?" He asked, his eyes flooding with tears. He couldn't keep in his emotions any longer. "I thought I could take it. I thought I would be fine with it but it hurts because I notice everything. The way you look at my Boss, how you seem displeased to be around me for too long, how you talk to me. I...I am sorry that I like you." John exploded.

Soran stood frozen for a second. Seeing him cry was shocking enough but the words that came with his tears made him realize how bad things were. He didn't know what to say, what could possibly be appropriate at a time like this so he did the next best thing, a gesture he never really did for anyone, since he didn't feel close enough to anyone.

The white haired vampire hugged him, bringing him in his embrace and allowing him to take everything out as he cried and shook.

"I'm sorry." Soran whispered, his eyes closed as he caressed John's back. "I am really sorry for everything.. I swear."

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